Preparing to Die

Practical Advice and Spiritual Wisdom from the Tibetan Buddhist Tradition

By: Andrew Holecek, Tulku Thondup Rinpoche - foreword

Narrated by: Karen White, Neil Shah

We all face death, but how many of us are actually ready for it? Whether our own death or that of a loved one comes first, how prepared are we, spiritually or practically? In Preparing to Die, Andrew Holecek presents a wide array of resources to help the reader address this unfinished business. Part One shows how to prepare one’s mind and how to help others, before, during, and after death. The author explains how spiritual preparation for death can completely transform our relationship to the end of life, dissolving our fear and helping us to feel open and receptive to letting go in the dying process. Daily meditation practices, the stages of dying and how to work with them, and after-death experiences are all detailed in ways that will be particularly helpful for those with an interest in Tibetan Buddhism and in Tibetan approaches to conscious dying.

Part Two addresses the practical issues that surround death. Experts in grief, hospice, the funeral business, and the medical and legal issues of death contribute chapters to prepare the listener for every practical concern, including advance directives, green funerals, the signs of death, warnings about the funeral industry, the stages of grief, and practical care for the dying.

Part Three contains heart-advice from twenty of the best-known Tibetan Buddhist masters now teaching in the West. These brief interviews provide words of solace and wisdom to guide the dying and their caregivers during this challenging time. Preparing to Die is for anyone interested in learning how to prepare for death from a Buddhist perspective, both spiritually and practically. It is also for those who want to learn how to help someone else who is dying, both during the time of illness and death as well as after death.

Excerpts from The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying by Sogyal Rinpoche, edited by Patrick Gaffney and Andrew Harvey. Copyright 1993 by Rigpa Fellowship. Reprinted by permission of HarperCollins Publishers. Excerpts from Glimpse After Glimpse: Daily Reflections on Living and Dying by Sogyal Rinpoche. Copyright 1995 by Sogyal Rinpoche. Reprinted by permission of HarperCollins Publishers. Excerpts from Facing Death and Finding Hope by Christine Longaker, copyright 1997 by Christine Longaker and Rigpa Fellowship. Used by permission of Doubleday, a division of Random House, Inc.

Download the accompanying reference guide.©2013 Andrew Holecek??Excerpts from The Tibetan Book of the Dead, translated with commentary by Francesca Fremantle and Chögyam Trungpa, 1975 by Francesca Fremantle and Chögyam Trungpa. Reprinted by arrangement with Shambhala Publications, Inc (P)2014 Audible Inc.

Esoteric, practical, and profound

A wonderful work. You don’t need to be Buddhist to get a lot out of this. Great practical advice as well as profound moments of striking, raw beauty.

Appreciated the Approach

I thought there was some good general advice. The best advice was to let go and trust in your nature. Considering that speaking about something like death, which is obviously speculative and reliant on a large degree of belief and supposition, the part I had the biggest problem with was all the overly cumbersome details and instructions. I understand that they are part of a tradition and I appreciate that for what it is, but some of the instructions like: don’t look down or don’t have one negative thought in this instance, etc. is in my perspective silly and superstitious. If I tell you not to think about a pink elephant what is the first thing you will think of? Exactly. The belief that you must follow a formula or otherwise you will become a lizard or something is nonsensical in my opinion. Rely on the One who Is, let go, and have trust. This will direct you exactly where you need to go. The rest is speculative white noise. Again these are just my own opinions, and if someone is attracted to this tradition and wants to master a formula condoned by it, I appreciate it and respect it just as I would for any other tradition.

Essential reading for life

If you could sum up Preparing to Die in three words, what would they be?

Well-Rounded, Essential, Inspiring

What do you think the narrator could have done better?

Learned how to pronounce Buddhist words before reading a text on Buddhism. The narrator mispronounces at least 70% of Tibetan Buddhist terms and 100% of names (and that might be generous). A simple google search would have clarified pronunciation. For people who have studied Buddhism it is an annoyance that detracts greatly from the listening experience of the book. Had he not tried to pronounce it in an accent, it wouldn't have been as annoying, but he says the words with an accent as if he knows how to pronounce it but doesn't.

Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

The first part of the book was the most profound. Once they started getting into the legal portions and so forth it was tough to get through. But if you are in the process of dying and have some time then the legal portion might be more interesting.

Any additional comments?

Holecek has created what I feel is one of the essential works available in Buddhism ... top 5 I would say.

Wonderful book!

Wonderful book! I have enjoyed each moment, and have listened to this again and again. Thank you!

Great book, pronunciation's a little off

Great book. Always wanted to learn more about the bardos. Pronunciation from the narrator is a little off. He needed consult more with the author.

So good

Very important information that everyone should hear! Very straight forward and easy to digest. I really enjoyed this

Seriously worthwhile listen

Magnificently written, well-narrated, and overall an awesome experience. On a really important topic no less.

Profound

It’s encyclopedic. Very, very useful for all types of practitioners. Will reference often as needed.

Imperative Knowledge

Having read this book and studied it I found the audio version to be quite convenient, but I must complain about the pronunciation of the Tibetan terms is disrespectful, at best!

Good book, badly read.

What did you like best about Preparing to Die? What did you like least?

Preparing to Die is a comprehensive and thorough book on what to do in order to die in a peaceful and meaningful manner. It has chapters on concrete practices which can be helpful for everybody, and others which are directed more specifically towards those practicing Buddhism, particularly Tibetan Buddhism of all lineages. These are further divided into what to do for oneself and for others both before, during and after the individual has died, and has suggestions from a number of Tibetan teachers as to what is most important in each circumstance. It also has discussions on a number of ethical, and legal, questions around death and dying. One caveat is that the book is written by a US citizen and the discussions around some of the legal issues may not necessarily apply in other countries.

Any additional comments?

The reason I have been motivated to write this review is to point out something which I found disturbing in the reading. I haven't heard the whole book, although I have read it through. I downloaded this book because I was using it as the basis of a course and needed to reread it while travelling. In paper form it is a thick and heavy book to carry around, so I thought this would be a convenient way of refreshing my memory. Unfortunately, I found it disturbing that the reader did not know how to pronounce Buddhist words and names. I suggest that one of the criteria in choosing someone to read a book which uses terms from a particular discipline, is that the reader is or has been involved in some way in that discipline, and has some way of checking with those who are directly involved on the pronunciation of words that are not commonly used in English.
Another thing was that the chapters in the audio version did not correspond to those in the hard copy.