Queen Bees and Wannabes

Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends, and Other Realities of Adolescence

By: Rosalind Wiseman

Narrated by: Lee Adams

"My daughter used to be so wonderful. Now I can barely stand her and she won’t tell me anything. How can I find out what’s going on?"

"There’s a clique in my daughter’s grade that’s making her life miserable. She doesn’t want to go to school anymore. Her own supposed friends are turning on her, and she’s too afraid to do anything. What can I do?"

Welcome to the wonderful world of your daughter’s adolescence. A world in which she comes to school one day to find that her friends have suddenly decided that she no longer belongs. Or she’s teased mercilessly for wearing the wrong outfit or having the wrong friend. Or branded with a reputation she can’t shake. Or pressured into conforming so she won’t be kicked out of the group. For better or worse, your daughter’s friendships are the key to enduring adolescence - as well as the biggest threat to her well-being.

In her groundbreaking book, Queen Bees and Wannabes, Empower cofounder Rosalind Wiseman takes you inside the secret world of girls' friendships. Wiseman has spent more than a decade listening to thousands of girls talk about the powerful role cliques play in shaping what they wear and say, how they respond to boys, and how they feel about themselves. In this candid, insightful book, she dissects each role in the clique: Queen Bees, Wannabes, Messengers, Bankers, Targets, Torn Bystanders, and more. She discusses girls' power plays, from birthday invitations to cafeteria seating arrangements and illicit parties. She takes listeners into "Girl World" to analyze teasing, gossip, and reputations; beauty and fashion; alcohol and drugs; boys and sex; and more, and how cliques play a role in every situation.

Each chapter includes "Check Your Baggage" sections to help you identify how your own background and biases affect how you see your daughter. "What You Can Do to Help" sections offer extensive sample scripts, bulleted lists, and other easy-to-use advice to get you inside your daughter’s world and help you to help her.

It’s not just about helping your daughter make it alive out of junior high. This book will help you understand how your daughter’s relationships with friends and cliques sets the stage for other intimate relationships as she grows and guides her when she has tougher choices to make about intimacy, drinking and drugs, and other hazards. With its revealing look into the secret world of teenage girls and cliques, enlivened with the voices of dozens of girls and a much-needed sense of humor, Queen Bees and Wannabes will equip you with all the tools you need to build the right foundation to help your daughter make smarter choices and empower her during this baffling, tumultuous time of life.

©2011 Rosalind WIseman (P)2011 Random House Audio

Critic reviews

"Laced with humor, insight, and practical suggestions, Queen Bees and Wannabes is the one volume that's been missing from the growing shelf of girl-centered publications. Wiseman explains the inner workings of teen culture and teaches parents, educators, and peers how to respond." (Whitney Ransome and Meg Miln Moulton, executive directors, National Coalition of Girls’ Schools)

Good but dated

I really enjoyed it but would love an updated modern version. Some of the issues teens are facing today are vastly different than they were in 2002

Quality info though clearly a bit dated

Solid information from a reliable source. Read a bit slowly and very long so needed to speed it up to get through it. I stopped to take notes several times.

Ecelente

I wish I have read this book a long time ago. I must read for parents.

The closest thing to a parenting manual!

We as parents need the bare truth. What to expect, what we need to understand, what we can do to help our children through it. To raise healthy, strong, brave
young adults. Give them what our parents couldn't.

A Universal Must-Read

This book was written with mother's, of adolescent girls, & adolescent girls in mind. The information, however, presented in this book, puts experience of anyone who has experienced adolescence & US High school, into context. This is an insightful book for women & girls, but also men & boys. Wiseman's tome would improve anyone's understanding of the chaotic time known as adolescence.

Must read for anyone dealing with Girls

As a parent of an up and coming tween and someone who works with 15 and 16 year old girls this book was eye opening and spot on!

Must read for moms of girls

Helpful tips on keeping communication open with your daughter
I ike the reality based commentary.

Outdated

This version of the book was published in 2002. There are many things that have changed which are not part of this book (texting, social media, etc.). Listening to the book sounds like some anecdotal writing based on questionnaires given to girls. I would have preferred chapters with names so that I can go back and reference a particular chapter when needed. I would have also liked a pdf with research references. I purchased the most updated printed version as I don’t want to totally dismiss this book, but I don’t think the audible version is worth it.

Must read for anyone raising girls

This book was packed with information on how to support a young girl during adolescence. The message was well researched and culturally competent so that it includes the perspective of different cultures and classes. The only thing I didn’t like was the chapters weren’t labeled so it makes it difficult to go back to certain sections. Overall I would recommend this in the physical/digital version over the audiobook.

Audio Book is 2002 edition

Would you try another book from Rosalind Wiseman and/or Lee Adams?

Yes

Any additional comments?

This book was an older edition. I needed it for a class I was taking. The one I purchased was the newer edition and the updated chapters were not in the audible version.