Do you think it’s wrong to drink every day even if it’s not causing problems and you truly enjoy it?

Alcohol use disorder is not defined by how much or how often you drink. It’s when you want to drink less than you do and have a hard time sticking to your goals.

Twenty years ago, we were told a glass of wine every evening is good for heart health. While the Canadian government recently updated their guidelines to say no amount of alcohol is safe, the United States still says it’s fine for women to have one drink per day.

In this episode, I explain the pros and cons of using science to evaluate the health of your drinking habits. And why the shame, fear and guilt you experience when there’s a mismatch can cause more harm than good.

You’ll walk away from this episode with a clear understanding of how labeling your behavior as “good” or “bad” or “right” or “wrong” disconnects you from the truth of your felt experience and can actually block you from acting in your own best interest. I’ll make the case that the only rule you need to follow is your own intuition.

—Click here to BOOK A DISCOVERY CALL if you’re ready to fully commit to your personal growth and do the work to get emotionally sober. Side effects include an 80 percent reduction in drinking. You'll walk away from our call with a clear understanding of how to get the skills you need to transform your life.

—NEW! Colleen’s doing Q&A episodes! Do you want help from Colleen with a situation you’re struggling with? Click here to submit your question. Your name will not be mentioned on air!

—Want daily updates from me? Find me on TikTok @hangoverwhisperer and IG @thehangoverwhisperer and YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@hangoverwhisperer

—Click here to TAKE THE QUIZ: Do you have a drinking problem or a thinking problem?

In this episode, Colleen dives deep into how shifting your focus from what you don’t want to what you truly desire can transform your mindset and your relationship with alcohol—and beyond. She explains why the brain’s operating system doesn’t understand “don’t” and “shouldn’t” and how these error codes keep us stuck in overthinking and emotional inflammation. Colleen offers practical strategies to build neural pathways toward what you do want by reverse engineering your thought processes and connecting to how you want to feel. Whether you’re navigating alcohol use disorder or any other life challenge, this episode provides actionable steps to clarify your goals and move forward.

Key Takeaways:

• Alcohol Use Disorder as a Teacher:
  Alcohol use disorder gives us a unique lens to study our thought patterns—both the ones we want to cultivate and the ones we need to release.
• The Problem with “I Don’t Want This”:
  The brain operates in concrete images and emotions. Focusing on what you don’t want doesn’t provide actionable instructions for change; it creates error codes that lead to overthinking.
• Creating Neural Pathways for What You Do Want:
  To achieve your goals, you must articulate what you want clearly and vividly. This allows your brain to create actionable steps toward your desired outcome.
• Start with How You Want to Feel:
  When you’re unsure of what you want, focus on the emotions you’d like to experience. Reverse engineer your thought processes and actions to align with that feeling.
• Small Steps Lead to Big Change:
  Your first goal may simply be to start imagining your vision for the future. Take small steps, journal, reflect, and celebrate progress as you clarify your purpose and align with your values.

Action Steps:

1. Shift Your Focus:
   Instead of thinking about what you don’t want, ask yourself, What do I want? Be as specific as possible.
2. Identify the Feeling:
   If you can’t clearly articulate your goal, start with how you want to feel. Use that emotion as your compass.
3. Reverse Engineer Your Goals:
   Once you’ve identified how you want to feel, ask yourself what thoughts and actions would support that feeling.
4. Start Small:
   Begin journaling or reflecting on your values, passions, and long-term vision. Even small steps toward clarity are wins worth celebrating.

Homework:
Take 5-10 minutes today to reflect on an area of your life where you’ve been stuck focusing on what you don’t want. Write down:

• What you do want (or how you want to feel).
• A thought you could practice to align with that feeling.
• One small action step you can take today to start moving in that direction.

Click here to BOOK A DISCOVERY CALL. If you’re ready to fully commit to your personal growth and do the work to get emotionally sober (side effects include an 80 percent reduction in drinking),You'll walk away from our call with a clear understanding of how to get the skills you need to transform your life.

Do you want help from Colleen with a situation you’re struggling with? Click here to submit your question for Colleen’s NEW Q& A episodes. Your name will not be mentioned on air!

—Want daily updates from me? Find me on TikTok @hangoverwhisperer and IG @thehangoverwhisperer

—Click here to TAKE THE QUIZ: Do you have a drinking problem or a thinking problem?

In today’s episode, Colleen shares a personal story about navigating a tense encounter with a neighbor who demanded drastic action after a minor incident involving her dog. Using this real-life situation, she demonstrates how to clear an emotional reaction in real time by properly diagnosing the problem, managing feelings, and resetting the nervous system. This episode highlights the importance of emotional regulation, how to move from reaction mode to intentional action, and how to maintain an empowered mindset even in difficult circumstances.

Key Takeaways:

• Diagnose the Neutral Facts:
  When confronted with a highly emotional situation, assess the neutral facts of the incident and determine if there is a genuine call to action.
• Overthinking is Under-feeling:
  Instead of spiraling into overthinking, take a moment to stop and feel the emotions. Overthinking prolongs stress, while feeling the feelings allows the body to clear the emotional response.
• Emotional Regulation in Action:
  Colleen shares how she sat with her emotions, acknowledged the physical sensations (tightness, heart pounding, heat), and allowed herself to fully feel them for 90 seconds. This simple practice helps reset the nervous system.
• Becoming Unfuckwithable:
  Cultivating the emotional state of being unfuckwithable means not being reactive to external demands or other people’s emotions. Colleen conjured this mindset by grounding herself and clearing her stress response.
• Reclaim Your Power:
  Recognize that your emotions about other people’s actions or words are your responsibility. By taking ownership of your feelings, you reclaim your power and can choose how to move forward.

Action Steps:

1. Stop, Drop, and Regulate:
   When faced with a triggering situation, stop what you’re doing, drop into your body, and regulate your emotions by acknowledging and feeling them without judgment.
2. Neutral Evaluation:
   Objectively evaluate the facts of the situation. If there is no necessary action, mentally release it.
3. Shift Your Emotional State:
   Consciously choose the emotional state you want to embody moving forward. You don’t have to carry the emotional weight of the incident all day.

Homework:
Try this practice next time you’re faced with an emotionally charged situation:

• Sit with your emotions for 90 seconds. Notice the physical sensations and allow them to be present without judgment.
• Once the emotions settle, evaluate the facts neutrally and determine if any action is required.
• Consciously choose an empowered emotional state and move forward with clarity.

Click here to BOOK A DISCOVERY CALL. If you’re ready to fully commit to your personal growth and do the work to get emotionally sober (side effects include an 80 percent reduction in drinking),You'll walk away from our call with a clear understanding of how to get the skills you need to transform your life.

Do you want help from Colleen with a situation you’re struggling with? Click here to submit your question for Colleen’s NEW Q& A episodes. Your name will not be mentioned on air!

—Want daily updates from me? Find me on TikTok @hangoverwhisperer and IG @thehangoverwhisperer

—Click here to TAKE THE QUIZ: Do you have a drinking problem or a thinking problem?