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Scared Selfless
- My Journey from Abuse and Madness to Surviving and Thriving
- Narrated by: Michelle Stevens
- Length: 8 hrs and 41 mins
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Publisher's summary
Michelle Stevens has a photo of the exact moment her childhood was stolen from her: She's only eight years old, posing for her mother's boyfriend, Gary Lundquist - an elementary school teacher, neighborhood stalwart, and brutal pedophile. Later that night Gary locks Michelle in a cage, tortures her repeatedly, and uses her to quench his voracious and deviant sexual whims. Little does she know that this will become her new reality for the next six years.
Michelle can also pinpoint the moment she reconstituted the splintered pieces of her life: She's in cap and gown, receiving her PhD in psychology - and the university's award for best dissertation.
The distance between these two points is the improbable journey from torture, loss, and mental illness to healing, recovery, and triumph that is Michelle's powerful memoir, Scared Selfless.
Michelle suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder, anxiety, and depression and made multiple suicide attempts. She also developed multiple personalities. There was "Chelsey", the rebellious teenager; "Viscous", a tween with homicidal rage; and "Sarah", a sweet little girl who brought her teddy bear on a first date.
In this harrowing tale, Michelle, who was inspired to help others heal by becoming a psychotherapist, sheds light on the all-too-real threat of child sexual abuse, its subsequent psychological effects, and the best methods for victims to overcome their ordeals and, ultimately, thrive. Scared Selfless is both an examination of the extraordinary feats of the mind that are possible in the face of horrific trauma as well as Michelle's courageous testament to their power.
Critic reviews
"In Scared Selfless, Dr. Michelle Stevens takes readers on a remarkable journey. Her account of childhood trauma - told with candor and, yes, even wit - and how she found the strength and resilience to ultimately recover and triumph is an inspiration not just to other survivors, but to us all. The book is a guide for anybody seeking to overcome challenges and lead a richer and fuller life.” (Arianna Huffington)
"Scared Selfless is a compelling read about choosing your path in life and owning that decision.” (Dr. Phil)
“A beautifully written book…with honesty [and] humor.... Through grit and hard work, what begins as Grand Guignol finishes with a big Hollywood ending.” (Vanity Fair)
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One of the main topics of cultural conversation during the last decade was the supposed "fertility crisis" and whether modern women could figure out a way to have it all - a successful, demanding career and the required 2.3 children - before their biological clocks stopped ticking. Now, however, conversation has turned to whether it's necessary to have it all (see Anne-Marie Slaughter) or, perhaps more controversial, whether children are really a requirement for a fulfilling life.
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Am I the only sane childfree woman in here?
- By J. Malouin on 09-29-15
By: Meghan Daum
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Switching Time
- A Doctor's Harrowing Story of Treating a Woman with 17 Personalities
- By: Richard Baer M.D.
- Narrated by: Lloyd James
- Length: 12 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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Switching Time is the first story centering on multiple personality disorder to be told by the treating physician. It is the incredible saga of a young woman stranded in unimaginable darkness who, in order to survive, created 17 different versions of herself. One by one, Karen's "alters" began showing themselves: men, women, young boys, a toddler, black, white, vicious, nurturing, prim, licentious. And their "stepping out" confronted Baer with the challenge of a lifetime.
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Couldn't help myself
- By Tech Nut on 12-31-07
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I'm Walking as Straight as I Can
- Transcending Disability in Hollywood and Beyond
- By: Ted Nichelson, Geri Jewell
- Narrated by: Geri Jewell
- Length: 14 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Born with cerebral palsy, Geri Jewell inspired a generation of young people when she became the first person with a disability to appear in a recurring role on prime-time television, with her groundbreaking character, Cousin Geri, on the NBC sitcom The Facts of Life. The book's title - I’m Walking As Straight As I Can - has a double meaning, referring to both Jewell's sexuality and her extraordinary struggle growing up with cerebral palsy.
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Excellent! I recommend!
- By Sharlotte on 06-06-16
By: Ted Nichelson, and others
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A Fractured Mind
- My Life with Multiple Personality Disorder
- By: Robert B. Oxnam
- Narrated by: William Dufris
- Length: 9 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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At the peak of his professional career, after having led the Asia Society for nearly a decade, Oxnam was haunted by periodic blackouts and episodic rages. After his family and friends intervened, Oxnam received help from a psychiatrist, Dr. Jeffery Smith, and entered a rehab center. It wasn't until 1990, during a session with Dr. Smith, that the first of Oxnam's 11 alternate personalities, an angry young boy named Tommy, suddenly emerged.
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A solid look at a rare disorder
- By O. Canosa on 11-23-07
By: Robert B. Oxnam
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Trapped in the Mirror
- Adult Children of Narcissists in Their Struggle for Self
- By: Elan Golomb
- Narrated by: Angela Brazil
- Length: 11 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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The difficulties experienced by adult children of narcissists can manifest themselves in many ways - for example, physical self-loathing that takes the form of overeating, anorexia, or bulimia; a self-destructive streak that causes poor job performance and rocky personal relationships; or a struggle with the self that is perpetuated in the adult's interaction with his or her own children. These dilemmas are both common and correctable, Elan Golomb tells us.
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Convoluted
- By Caligirl on 08-25-17
By: Elan Golomb
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Transition
- The Story of How I Became a Man
- By: Chaz Bono
- Narrated by: Chaz Bono
- Length: 6 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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At first, America knew the only child of Sonny and Cher as Chastity, the cherubic little girl who appeared on her parents' TV show. In later years, she became famous for coming out on a national stage, working with two major organizations toward LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender) rights and publishing two books. And just within the past 18 months, Chaz Bono has entered the public consciousness as the most high-profile transgender person ever.
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Great book
- By Lisa M. W. on 10-26-19
By: Chaz Bono
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The Naked Lady Who Stood on Her Head
- A Psychiatrist's Stories of His Most Bizarre Cases
- By: Gary Small M.D., Gigi Vorgan
- Narrated by: Marc Cashman
- Length: 9 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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True stories are more bizarre than any fiction, and Dr. Gary Small knows this best. After 30 distinguished years of psychiatry and groundbreaking research on the human brain, Dr. Small has seen it all - now he is ready to open his office doors for the first time and tell all about the most mysterious, intriguing, and bizarre patients of his career. The Naked Lady Who Stood on Her Head is a spellbinding record of the doctor's most bewildering cases.
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90% Useless Information
- By Think B4 Eating on 10-01-10
By: Gary Small M.D., and others
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Finding Your Own North Star
- Claiming the Life You Were Meant to Live
- By: Martha Beck
- Narrated by: Karen White
- Length: 14 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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As the creator of Life Designs, Inc., Martha Beck has helped hundreds of clients find their own North Stars and figure out how to fulfill their potential and create joyful lives through her lectures, seminars, and one-on-one counseling. In this book she shares her step-by-step program that will guide you to fulfill your own potential.
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Narration not for me
- By MARYANN ORDONEZ on 10-02-17
By: Martha Beck
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Idiots
- Marriage, Motherhood, Milk & Mistakes
- By: Laura Clery
- Narrated by: Laura Clery
- Length: 8 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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A fresh, hilarious, and relatable collection of essays about everything from motherhood and marriage to sobriety and work-life balance (or imbalance) from the nationally bestselling author of the “honest, complicated” (SheKnows) Idiot.
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Tears and laughs!!
- By Anonymous User on 04-07-22
By: Laura Clery
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Peace from Broken Pieces
- How to Get Through What You're Going Through
- By: Iyanla Vanzant
- Narrated by: Iyanla Vanzant
- Length: 11 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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New York Times best-selling author Iyanla Vanzant recounts the last decade of her life and the spiritual lessons learned—from the price of success during her meteoric rise as a TV celebrity on Oprah, the Iyanla TV show (produced by Barbara Walters), to the dissolution of her marriage and her daughter's 15 months of illness and death on Christmas day.
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Iyanla is Inspirational! A GREAT LISTEN!!!
- By Theresa on 12-04-11
By: Iyanla Vanzant
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Unrequited
- Women and Romantic Obsession
- By: Lisa A. Phillips
- Narrated by: Karen White
- Length: 9 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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The summer Lisa A. Phillips turned 30, she fell in love with someone who didn't return her feelings. She soon became obsessed. She followed him around, called him compulsively, and talked about him endlessly. One desperate morning, after she snuck into his apartment building, he picked up a baseball bat to protect himself and began to dial 911. Her unrequited love had changed her from a sane, conscientious college teacher and radio reporter into someone she barely recognized.
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Great book! So-so narrator....
- By ToluGrace on 04-14-15
By: Lisa A. Phillips
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Here's the Story
- Surviving Marcia Brady and Finding My True Voice
- By: Maureen McCormick
- Narrated by: Maureen McCormick
- Length: 5 hrs and 58 mins
- Abridged
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Marcia Brady, eldest daughter on television's The Brady Bunch, had it all. But what viewers didn't know about the always sunny, perfect Marcia was that offscreen, her real-life counterpart, Maureen McCormick was living a very different - and not so wonderful - life. Maureen tells the shocking and inspirational true story of the beloved teen and the woman she became.
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Gripping
- By Chris on 08-12-14
What listeners say about Scared Selfless
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Lori Dale B
- 08-28-17
Enlightening for victims of child abuse
Michelle's personal account of her abuse and healing process is not only informative, but healing. It helped put pieces of the puzzle together for me of my own PTSD from child sexual abuse.
I highly recommend this book if you have suffered child abuse or are close to someone who has. You'll find it enlightening.
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall
- Amazon Customer
- 12-01-17
love!!
love!!!! this book promotes self awareness, self love, self acceptance. it is a must read
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- Jennifer Walterscheid
- 03-02-21
Hard to stop listening
Michelle Steven’s narrated her own story which is always the best way to get the whole story. As a teacher and a juror in a multiple molestation trial it made me think differently about people I encounter. It has made me a better listener and much less judgmental of the young people I encounter.
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- Charelle
- 01-22-23
A parent’s worst nightmare…
I am a mother who doesn’t trust anyone when it comes to leaving my child alone with an adult and/or teenager. Children are meant to have an actual pure childhood. They are innocent humans learning from those around them. It’s so important to protect your babies and to be their “safe place”. My heart broke for Michelle throughout her entire story but I was eager to know every detail of her abused childhood. A childhood that was stolen from her. She never had a “safe place” to run to. She only had herself and the fact that she survived through the absolute worst & was able to heal over time without the help of a professional psychologist makes this true story the most interesting and intriguing story with a heartwarming ending. This was an incredible audio book read by the author herself. I highly suggest every parent to listen to Michelle’s story in order to be an even better parent to your child(ren). Sometimes I don’t think I’m the greatest mom to my children because of my lack of patience. However, I know now that I’m an incredible parent to my little ones because although I’m not perfect, loving them, feeding them, bathing them and protecting them is my number one priority. Thank you for sharing your priceless story, Michelle. I’ve learned so much from you.
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- Amazon Customer
- 03-30-17
The story strives me to continue healing! LOVE
Healing is never easy, but silencing the trama is forever worse. Thank you for your courage .
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2 people found this helpful
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- Amazon Customer
- 06-18-17
So compelling
If I didn't have children I would have started and finished this book in one day. Despite having children I finished in 3. If you are someone who's even remotely interested in psychology, this is a good book for you.
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2 people found this helpful
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- richwire
- 05-21-17
Courage
Would you listen to Scared Selfless again? Why?
Yes, though a difficult subject matter, I thought it was heartfelt, extremely well written and took a lot of courage for the author to write and read her story.
What was one of the most memorable moments of Scared Selfless?
Tough to answer, because I think the most memorable moments are also the most horrific.
Which character – as performed by Michelle Stevens – was your favorite?
Herself. Nothing more powerful than having the story told by the person that lived it.
If you were to make a film of this book, what would the tag line be?
A True Survivor
Any additional comments?
Thank you Michelle for sharing your story. I hope you've found the peace you deserve.
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1 person found this helpful
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- anonymous
- 03-25-17
Well done Michelle
This book was well written and gives details of abuse that had to be horribly hard to share. Michelle shows that overcoming the seemingly impossible is not only possible but also a reachable goal for others who are suffering. I recommend this book.
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- AmyBeth
- 08-02-17
Horrifying and Riveting
What did you love best about Scared Selfless?
It was raw and honest.
What about Michelle Stevens’s performance did you like?
She was pure and unflinchingly honest.
Any additional comments?
This book haunted me but I was cheering her progress on the entire way.
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- Pamela Plimpton
- 09-21-17
Horrific, honest, riveting, heartwrenching, GREAT!
Where does Scared Selfless rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?
Very, very good. I found myself not wanting to listen. This story is real and riveting. It was difficult to listen to what she went thru. I hurt my insides to listen, but out of respect, I had to finish. Eye-opening to an AWFUL epidemic in this country!!
What other book might you compare Scared Selfless to and why?
Have listened to several abuse & captive books. All are so heartbreaking, but I find myself becoming so involved in their pain that I cannot stop listening. Amazing survivors -- every one of them!
What does Michelle Stevens bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?
She reading the story herself brought true emotion to the memoir.
Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?
I did find myself near tears a couple of times. Have never had that emotion with the other books I have listened to this one. I believe the fact that she was only 8 yrs old when the first incident happened & her tender age simply broke my heart. Stealing her innocence & her experience just broke my heart.
Any additional comments?
Hard to listen to, but a must. A fantastic education to not just assume "everything is OK". I'm learning to watch signs much closer & become more involved when my gutt tells me something isn't right. :(
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