So Close to Being the Sh*t, Y'all Don't Even Know
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So Close to Being the Sh*t, Y'all Don't Even Know
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Narrated by:
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Retta
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By:
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Retta
About this listen
This program is read by the author.
"This book feels like a real conversation. When we enter Retta's world we are at the best party and in the hands of a gracious, self-perceptive, and deeply hilarious host." (Amy Poehler)
In this hilarious audiobook essay collection, Parks and Recreation star Retta shares the stories that led to her success in Hollywood.
In So Close to Being the Sh*t, Y'all Don't Even Know, Parks and Recreation star Retta takes us on her not-so-meteoric rise from roaches to riches (well, rich enough that she can buy $15,000 designer handbags yet scared enough to know she's always a heartbeat away from ramen with American cheese).
Throwing her hardworking Liberian parents through a loop, Retta abandons her plan to attend med school after graduating Duke University to move to Hollywood to star in her own sitcom - like her comedy heroes Lucille Ball and Roseanne.
Say what? Word. Turns out Retta might actually be on to something. After winning Comedy Central's stand-up competition, she should be ready for prime time - but a fear of success derails her biggest dream.
Whether reminiscing about her days as a contract chemist at GlaxoSmithKline, telling "dirty" jokes to Mormons, feeling like the odd man out on Parks, fending off racist trolls on Twitter, flirting with Michael Fassbender, or expertly stalking the cast of Hamilton, Retta's unique voice and refreshing honesty will make you laugh, cry, and laugh so hard you'll cry.
Her eponymous sitcom might not have happened yet, but by the end of So Close to Being the Sh*t, listeners will be rooting for Retta to be the next one-named wonder to take over your television. And she just might inspire you to reach for the stars, too.
©2018 Marietta Sirleaf (P)2018 Macmillan AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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"Two things - 1) Don't yell 'Treat Yo Self' at Retta if you see her in person, a lot of people have done that already, just whisper it to yourself and give her a thumbs up. That'd be cool. 2) Check out her book. Stop reading this quote and buy it already, boo boo." (Aziz Ansari, best-selling author of Modern Romance)
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Story5 out of 5 stars 917
Stand-up comedian, actress, and host Michelle Buteau reflects on growing up Caribbean, Catholic, and thick in New Jersey, going to college in Miami (where everyone smells like pineapple), her many friendship and dating disasters, working as a newsroom editor during 9/11, getting started in stand-up opening for male strippers, marrying into her husband’s Dutch family, IVF and surrogacy, motherhood, chosen family, and what it feels like to have a full heart, tight jeans, and stardom finally in her grasp.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Enjoyable listen, unexpected moments
- By Jessica on 12-28-20
By: Michelle Buteau
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This Is Me
- Loving the Person You are Today
- By: Chrissy Metz
- Narrated by: Chrissy Metz
- Length: 6 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 4,348
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 3,953
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Story5 out of 5 stars 3,933
In This Is Me, Chrissy Metz shares her story with a raw honesty that will leave listeners both surprised but also inspired. Infused with the same authenticity she brings to her starring role, Chrissy's This Is Me is so much more than your standard Hollywood memoir or collection of personal essays. She embraces the spirit of Shonda Rhimes' Year of Yes and shares how she has applied the lessons she learned from both setbacks and successes. A born entertainer, Chrissy finds light in even her darkest moments and leaves the listener feeling they are spending time with a friend who gets it.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Excellent - 1 million stars
- By Baldhead Baddi on 03-28-18
By: Chrissy Metz
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Split Decision
- Life Stories
- By: Ice-T, Spike, Douglas Century
- Narrated by: Ice-T, Spike, Douglas Century
- Length: 8 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 380
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 339
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Story5 out of 5 stars 337
Ice-T rose to fame in the late 1980s, earning acclaim for his music before going on to enthrall television audiences as Odafin “Fin” Tutuola in Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. But it could have gone much differently. In this “poignant and powerful” (Library Journal, starred review) memoir, Ice-T and Spike, his former crime partner—collaborating with New York Times bestselling author Douglas Century—relate the shocking stories of their shared pasts, and how just a handful of decisions led to their incredibly different lives.
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5 out of 5 stars
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An awesome book
- By Cornelius DeMarcus on 11-30-22
By: Ice-T, and others
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Stay Hungry
- By: Sebastian Maniscalco
- Narrated by: Sebastian Maniscalco
- Length: 7 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,805
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,609
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,596
At 24, Sebastian Maniscalco arrived in LA with a suitcase and saved up minimum wages. He knew no one and nothing about standup comedy, but he was determined to go for it anyway. At 44, he's on the Forbes' list of highest earning comedians, sells out arenas, and has starred in four hit comedy specials including Why Would You Do That? on Showtime. Stay Hungry tells the story of the 20 years in between.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Great book with some good laughs
- By Dave J. on 03-23-18
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I'm Judging You
- The Do-Better Manual
- By: Luvvie Ajayi
- Narrated by: Luvvie Ajayi
- Length: 6 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 3,417
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 3,047
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 3,032
With over 500,000 readers a month at her enormously popular blog, AwesomelyLuvvie.com, Luvvie Ajayi is a go-to source for smart takes on pop culture. I'm Judging You is her debut book of humorous essays that dissects our cultural obsessions and calls out bad behavior in our increasingly digital, connected lives - from the importance of the newest Shonda Rhimes television drama to serious discussions of race and media representation to what to do about your fool cousin sharing casket pictures from Grandma's wake on Facebook.
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5 out of 5 stars
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I have NEVER laughed so hard
- By Amazon Customer on 10-18-16
By: Luvvie Ajayi
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We Wish to Inform You That Tomorrow We Will Be Killed with Our Families
- Stories from Rwanda
- By: Philip Gourevitch
- Narrated by: Philip Gourevitch
- Length: 10 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 305
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 266
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Story5 out of 5 stars 265
An unforgettable firsthand account of a people's response to genocide and what it tells us about humanity. This remarkable audiobook chronicles what has happened in Rwanda and neighboring states since 1994, when the Rwandan government called on everyone in the Hutu majority to murder everyone in the Tutsi minority.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Things you'd never imagine
- By LEE on 12-27-19
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Deliberate Cruelty
- Truman Capote, the Millionaire's Wife, and the Murder of the Century
- By: Roseanne Montillo
- Narrated by: Mia Barron
- Length: 8 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 219
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 189
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 188
When Ann Woodward shot her husband, banking heir Billy Woodward, in the middle of the night in 1955, her life changed forever. Though she claimed she thought he was a prowler, few believed the woman who had risen from charismatic showgirl to popular socialite. Everyone had something to say about the scorching scandal afflicting one of the most rich and famous families of New York City, but no one was more obsessed with the tale than Truman Capote.
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3 out of 5 stars
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offensive narration
- By GM on 05-12-23
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The Devil Finds Work
- An Essay
- By: James Baldwin
- Narrated by: Dion Graham
- Length: 3 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 145
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 119
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Story5 out of 5 stars 116
Baldwin's personal reflections on movies gathered here in a book-length essay are also a probing appraisal of American racial politics. Offering an incisive look at racism in American movies and a vision of America's self-delusions and deceptions, Baldwin challenges the underlying assumptions in such films as In the Heat of the Night, Guess Who's Coming to Dinner, and The Exorcist.
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5 out of 5 stars
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A Critical Masterpiece.
- By Ramon McGee on 05-10-18
By: James Baldwin
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I Have Something to Tell You
- A Memoir
- By: Chasten Buttigieg
- Narrated by: Chasten Buttigieg
- Length: 7 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 1,180
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 1,050
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Story5 out of 5 stars 1,047
Throughout the past year, teacher Chasten Glezman Buttigieg has emerged on the national stage, having left his classroom in South Bend, Indiana, to travel cross-country in support of his husband, former mayor Pete Buttigieg, and Pete's groundbreaking presidential campaign. Through Chasten's joyful, witty social media posts, the public gained a behind-the-scenes look at his life with Pete on the trail - moments that might have ranged from the mundane to the surprising, but that were always heartfelt.
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5 out of 5 stars
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A common yet inspiring and hopeful story
- By Steph on 09-03-20
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The Road Is Good
- How a Mother's Strength Became a Daughter's Purpose
- By: Uzo Aduba
- Narrated by: Uzo Aduba
- Length: 10 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 56
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 53
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Story5 out of 5 stars 52
The actress Uzo Aduba came of age grappling with a master juggling act: as one of few Black families in their white Massachusetts suburb, she and her siblings were the unexpected presence in whatever school room or sports team they joined. But Aduba was also rooted by a fierce and nonnegotiable sense of belonging and extraordinary worth that stemmed from her mother’s powerful vision for her children, and their connection to generations of family in Nigeria.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Amazing Journey - Well Written
- By Milissa Watkins on 04-04-25
By: Uzo Aduba
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You'll Grow Out of It
- By: Jessi Klein
- Narrated by: Jessi Klein
- Length: 7 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 3,185
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,841
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 2,814
In You'll Grow Out of It, Jessi Klein offers - through an incisive collection of real-life stories - a relentlessly funny yet poignant take on a variety of topics she has experienced along her strange journey to womanhood and beyond. These include her "transformation from Pippi Longstocking-esque tomboy to are-you-a-lesbian-or-what tom man", attempting to find watchable porn, and identifying the difference between being called "ma'am" and "miss" (" miss sounds like you weigh 99 pounds").
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5 out of 5 stars
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I like this woman so much!
- By Sarah F. on 07-24-16
By: Jessi Klein
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A Minute to Think
- Reclaim Creativity, Conquer Busyness, and Do Your Best Work
- By: Juliet Funt
- Narrated by: Juliet Funt
- Length: 7 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 176
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 164
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 162
In A Minute to Think, Juliet Funt, a globally recognized warrior in the battle against busyness, provides a powerful guide that will give you the permission, framework, and specific direction you need.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Thought Provoking
- By Amazon Customer on 11-13-21
By: Juliet Funt
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Uncommon Type
- Some Stories
- By: Tom Hanks
- Narrated by: Tom Hanks
- Length: 10 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 4,824
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 4,380
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Story4 out of 5 stars 4,364
A collection of 17 wonderful short stories showing that two-time Oscar winner Tom Hanks is as talented a writer as he is an actor. The short stories are surprising, intelligent, heartwarming, and, for the millions and millions of Tom Hanks fans, an absolute must-have!
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4 out of 5 stars
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Old fashioned romp of stories, some real gems!
- By Lili on 11-13-17
By: Tom Hanks
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What Is Real?
- The Unfinished Quest for the Meaning of Quantum Physics
- By: Adam Becker
- Narrated by: Greg Tremblay
- Length: 11 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 718
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 624
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 617
Every physicist agrees quantum mechanics is among humanity's finest scientific achievements. But ask what it means, and the result will be a brawl. For a century, most physicists have followed Niels Bohr's Copenhagen interpretation and dismissed questions about the reality underlying quantum physics as meaningless. A mishmash of solipsism and poor reasoning, Copenhagen endured, as Bohr's students vigorously protected his legacy, and the physics community favored practical experiments over philosophical arguments.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Good, "light" "read"... potential caveat below...
- By James S. on 03-31-18
By: Adam Becker
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My Love Story
- By: Tina Turner
- Narrated by: Heather Alicia Simms, Tina Turner - introduction
- Length: 8 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,147
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,016
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Story5 out of 5 stars 1,010
From her early years in Nutbush, Tennessee, to her rise to fame alongside Ike Turner to her phenomenal success in the 1980s and beyond, Tina candidly examines her personal history, from her darkest hours to her happiest moments and everything in between. My Love Story is an explosive and inspiring story of a woman who dared to break any barriers put in her way. Emphatically showcasing Tina’s signature blend of strength, energy, heart, and soul, this is a gorgeously wrought memoir as enthralling and moving as any of her greatest hits.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Great story but...
- By Amazing Customer on 10-28-18
By: Tina Turner
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Animal
- A Novel
- By: Lisa Taddeo
- Narrated by: Emma Roberts
- Length: 10 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 720
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 651
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Story4 out of 5 stars 648
Joan has spent a lifetime enduring the cruelties of men. But when one of them commits a shocking act of violence in front of her, she flees New York City in search of Alice, the only person alive who can help her make sense of her past. In the sweltering hills above Los Angeles, Joan unravels the horrific event she witnessed as a child - that has haunted her every waking moment - while forging the power to finally strike back.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Should come with a lot of trigger warnings
- By Quinn on 07-13-21
By: Lisa Taddeo
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Left on Tenth
- A Second Chance at Life: A Memoir
- By: Delia Ephron
- Narrated by: Delia Ephron
- Length: 7 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 680
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 604
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 602
Delia Ephron had struggled through several years of heartbreak. She’d lost her sister, Nora, and then her husband, Jerry, both to cancer. Several months after Jerry’s death, she decided to make one small change in her life - she shut down his landline, which crashed her internet. She ended up in Verizon hell.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Cover to cover in a day
- By Ginny Kubek on 04-24-22
By: Delia Ephron
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The Mercies
- By: Kiran Millwood Hargrave
- Narrated by: Jessie Buckley
- Length: 11 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,345
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 1,189
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,180
Finnmark, Norway, 1617. Twenty-year-old Maren Magnusdatter stands on the craggy coast, watching the sea break into a sudden and reckless storm. Forty fishermen, including her brother and father, are drowned and left broken on the rocks below. With the menfolk wiped out, the women of the tiny Arctic town of Vardø must fend for themselves. Three years later, a stranger arrives on their shore. Absalom Cornet comes from Scotland, where he burned witches in the northern isles. He brings with him his young Norwegian wife, Ursa.
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5 out of 5 stars
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The Mercies is a Strong and Moving Story, Not to be Missed
- By The Village Witch on 02-29-20
What listeners say about So Close to Being the Sh*t, Y'all Don't Even Know
Highly rated for:
Reviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Dawn A. Dais
- 06-04-18
Fun Listen
So relatable to my own childhood. I smiled through the entire listen, laughed out loud several times, and shouted, me too! a lot.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Lianri9
- 04-15-19
So sad it’s over!
LOOOOOOOOOOVED it! Retta is not only an amazing storyteller, she’s a hell of a performer - even on an audiobook. I laughed out loud more times than I can count, and by the end, I honestly felt like I was saying goodbye to a great friend. This is the first audiobook where I was genuinely sad it was over. I need more Retta in my life!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- LAURA GOFF
- 09-24-18
Excellent!!! Loved it!
so much fun to listen to :) Retta is so authentic and hilarious. definitely recommend to everyone.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Rachel
- 08-29-18
Laugh out loud funny!
I love Retta so much after reading this! She is humble, hilarious, and knows her value. I was laughing so much - this book is definitely meant to be listened to. Love, love, love. If you enjoy BossyPants by Tina Fey, you will love this too!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Danesha S
- 05-21-19
Retta Retta RETTA!!!
I loved your book! I laughed out loud and feel like I know you better. Loved your Mom stories!!!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Jamillah N. Taylor
- 01-14-19
Funny Lady
Retta is an awesome storyteller. She had me in stitches the entire book. 5 Stars.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Alexandra
- 09-06-18
Love it!
Retta's book was really funny and honest. At times I wish there were more vulnerable stories because most of the chapters were funny. However, she's an awesome narrator and I loved it!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Pamika
- 07-25-18
unfoRETTAble
this story was freaking awesome. I loved Retta on parks and recs... to me she's been the shit
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Mario
- 08-07-18
Such an entertaining book!
This made me love her even more. I loved hearing her history and struggles that made her into the fabulous person she is today! Can’t wait for the next one!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Jarvis
- 01-22-20
Retta IS the shit
LOVED IT!!! I WANT ALL MY AUDIOBOOKS READ BY RETTA!!! It was funny and heartfelt and her voice is so soothing to listen to. I felt like I was in the story next to her.
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