Talking to a Loved One with Borderline Personality Disorder
Communication Skills to Manage Intense Emotions, Set Boundaries, and Reduce Conflict
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Talking to a Loved One with Borderline Personality Disorder
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Narrated by:
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Rebecca Roberts
About this listen
In this compassionate guide, Jerold Kreisman—author of I Hate You, Don’t Leave Me—offers a powerful set of tools to help you express yourself, set boundaries, and cultivate healthy communication with a loved one who is diagnosed with borderline personality disorder (BPD).
If you have a loved one with BPD, you need real, proven-effective strategies to help you navigate the intense emotions and conflict that can arise in daily interactions and conversations. People with BPD often feel anger, pain, and hurt from a history of invalidation and disappointment, and their difficulty in regulating emotions can lead to moments of lashing out that can confuse and upset those around them.
Written by a psychiatrist with more than 40 years of experience in treating BPD, Talking to a Loved One with Borderline Personality Disorder offers a breakthrough, compassionate approach to communicating with a loved one who has BPD. The SET (support, empathy, truth) method outlined in this audiobook is a powerful and simple tool that will allow you to honestly address your loved one’s demands, assertions, and feelings while still maintaining appropriate boundaries. Each step builds on the last, helping you build up a consistent and reliable communication process.
In this audiobook, you’ll find a review of BPD and the common communication problems inherent in the disorder. You’ll learn how SET can address these issues. And finally, you’ll find detailed examples of specific scenarios that can arise when talking to a loved one with BPD.
Remember—validation isn’t the same as agreement. You can help your loved one feel validated while still maintaining your own boundaries. This essential guide will show you how.
©2018 Jerold J. Kreisman (P)2020 New Harbinger PublicationsListeners also enjoyed...
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Opting for the book instead
- By S David on 12-24-18
By: David Goggins
-
The Art of War
- By: Sun Tzu
- Narrated by: Aidan Gillen
- Length: 1 hr and 7 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 41,409
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 34,291
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 33,872
The 13 chapters of The Art of War, each devoted to one aspect of warfare, were compiled by the high-ranking Chinese military general, strategist, and philosopher Sun-Tzu. In spite of its battlefield specificity, The Art of War has found new life in the modern age, with leaders in fields as wide and far-reaching as world politics, human psychology, and corporate strategy finding valuable insight in its timeworn words.
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5 out of 5 stars
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The actual book The Art of War, not a commentary
- By Fred271 on 12-31-19
By: Sun Tzu
-
The 6 Habits of Growth
- By: Brendon Burchard
- Narrated by: Brendon Burchard
- Length: 5 hrs and 4 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 6,180
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 5,469
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 5,426
The world’s leading high-performance coach and multiple New York Times best-selling author Brendon Burchard delivers the six habits of personal growth that will help you create the life of your dreams. Forged from Brendon Burchard’s personal experiences, data from his GrowthDay app, and his many years as a high-performance coach, The 6 Habits of Growth presents the tools you need to construct the life of your dreams.
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2 out of 5 stars
-
Don’t bother
- By B. Sharpe on 10-30-22
By: Brendon Burchard
-
12 Months to $1 Million
- How to Pick a Winning Product, Build a Real Business, and Become a Seven-Figure Entrepreneur
- By: Ryan Daniel Moran
- Narrated by: Ryan Daniel Moran
- Length: 7 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 3,779
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 3,262
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 3,246
By cutting out the noise and providing a clear and proven plan, this road map helps even brand-new entrepreneurs make decisions quickly, get their product up for sale, and launch it to a crowd that is ready and waiting to buy. This one-year plan will guide you through the three stages to your first $1 million: the Grind (months 0-4), the Growth (months 5-8), and the Gold (months 9-12). If your goal is to be a full-time entrepreneur, get ready for one chaotic, stressful, and rewarding year. If you have the guts to complete it, you will be the proud owner of a million-dollar business.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Good, but a Little Misleading
- By Chris Love on 11-28-20
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The 5 Second Rule
- Transform your Life, Work, and Confidence with Everyday Courage
- By: Mel Robbins
- Narrated by: Mel Robbins
- Length: 7 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 51,379
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 44,710
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 44,373
How to enrich your life and destroy doubt in five seconds. Throughout your life, you've had parents, coaches, teachers, friends, and mentors who have pushed you to be better than your excuses and bigger than your fears. What if the secret to having the confidence and courage to enrich your life and work is simply knowing how to push yourself?
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3 out of 5 stars
-
I turned it off after an hour.
- By Zac on 04-08-17
By: Mel Robbins
-
The Daily Stoic
- 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living
- By: Ryan Holiday, Stephen Hanselman
- Narrated by: Brian Holsopple
- Length: 10 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 3,228
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,709
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 2,674
Why have history's greatest minds - from George Washington to Frederick the Great to Ralph Waldo Emerson along with today's top performers, from Super Bowl-winning football coaches to CEOs and celebrities - embraced the wisdom of the ancient Stoics? Because they realize that the most valuable wisdom is timeless and that philosophy is for living a better life, not a classroom exercise. The Daily Stoic offers a daily devotional of Stoic insights and exercises, featuring all-new translations.
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2 out of 5 stars
-
Not well made as audio
- By Andreas on 12-27-16
By: Ryan Holiday, and others
-
How to Train Your Mind
- Exploring the Productivity Benefits of Meditation
- By: Chris Bailey
- Narrated by: Chris Bailey
- Length: 3 hrs and 18 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 8,365
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 7,109
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 7,048
Meditation makes you more productive because it lets you earn back time. For each minute you spend meditating, you'll earn around nine minutes back, as Chris Bailey - author of The Productivity Project and Hyperfocus - will show in this candid and counter-intuitive guide to the productivity benefits of meditation.
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4 out of 5 stars
-
Started Listening By Accident
- By T.D.Willis on 01-17-21
By: Chris Bailey
-
Deep Sleep Hypnosis: Fall Asleep Instantly and Sleep Well
- By: Jasmine Harris
- Narrated by: Allison Mason
- Length: 2 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 1,174
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 940
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 900
A lack of quality sleep can hinder your alertness and quality of life while awake, as anyone with sleeping issues already knows. Suffering through sleepless nights does not have to be your reality. Instead you can fall asleep fast and get quality sleep tonight and every night. Hypnosis has been used for centuries to cure many ailments, including the inability to get better sleep. You can help yourself improve the quality of your life with hypnotherapy.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
put me right to sleep
- By Cassandra on 05-08-17
By: Jasmine Harris
-
How to Say It: Words That Make a Difference
- By: Allison Friederichs Atkison, The Great Courses
- Narrated by: Allison Friederichs Atkison
- Length: 4 hrs and 44 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,521
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,301
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 1,281
Words. We use them all the time, every day, mostly without giving them much thought at all. We take for granted that they’re here at our disposal whenever we need them. But if you’ve ever wished you could communicate more effectively, words are the place to start. It’s incumbent upon you to choose the best words to accomplish your goals, because how you choose to communicate influences—well, everything! The power of communication shapes our professional goals, our relationships, and our lives—so the words we choose to use carry a great deal of power.
-
2 out of 5 stars
-
Meh. Glad I didn't pay for it.
- By Paula on 07-23-22
By: Allison Friederichs Atkison, and others
-
Maybe You Should Talk to Someone
- A Therapist, HER Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed
- By: Lori Gottlieb
- Narrated by: Brittany Pressley
- Length: 14 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 43,434
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 38,257
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 38,120
One day, Lori Gottlieb is a therapist who helps patients in her Los Angeles practice. The next, a crisis causes her world to come crashing down. Enter Wendell, the quirky but seasoned therapist in whose office she suddenly lands. With his balding head, cardigan, and khakis, he seems to have come straight from Therapist Central Casting. Yet he will turn out to be anything but.
-
2 out of 5 stars
-
It was like a hallmark movie being waterboarded into my ears for 15 hours
- By Amazon Customer on 10-01-19
By: Lori Gottlieb
-
The Mastery of Self
- A Toltec Guide to Personal Freedom
- By: Don Miguel Ruiz Jr.
- Narrated by: Charlie Varon
- Length: 3 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 4,437
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 3,680
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 3,660
The ancient Toltecs believed that life, as we perceive it, is a dream. We each live in our own personal dream, and these come together to form the dream of the planet, or the world in which we live. Problems arise when our perception of the dream becomes clouded with negativity, drama, and judgment (of ourselves and others), because it's in these moments of suffering that we have forgotten that we are the architects of our own reality and we have the power to change our dream if we choose.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
listen.. .then listen again
- By Casiano on 12-22-16
-
Ho Tactics
- How to MindF**k a Man into Spending, Spoiling, and Sponsoring
- By: G. L. Lambert
- Narrated by: Patrick Stevens
- Length: 9 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 2,043
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 1,688
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,672
I have discovered a group of women who refuse to be exploited, are immune to manipulation, and who never settle in the name of love. These ladies know what they want and take what they want by beating men at their own game. Utilizing the secrets exposed in this book, these women gain power, money, and status. Men call them gold diggers, women call them hos, but they call themselves winners. This is the book that society doesn't want you to listen to….
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
I spent $24,000 in 4 months
- By B.M. on 10-06-18
By: G. L. Lambert
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People with borderline personality disorder (BPD) can be intensely caring, warm, smart, and funny, but their behavior often drives away those closest to them. If you're struggling in a tumultuous relationship with someone with BPD, this is the book for you. Dr. Shari Manning helps you understand why your spouse, family member, or friend has such out-of-control emotions and how to change the way you can respond.
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After more than three decades as the essential guide to borderline personality disorder (BPD), the third edition of I Hate You - Don’t Leave Me now reflects the most up-to-date research that has opened doors to the neurobiological, genetic, and developmental roots of the disorder, as well as connections between BPD and substance abuse, sexual abuse, post-traumatic stress syndrome, ADHD, and eating disorders.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Antiquated
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If you or someone you love is struggling with borderline personality disorder (BPD), you need up-to-date, accurate, and accessible information on the problems you're facing and where you can turn for help. But where do you look? Much of the professional literature on BPD is too technical and confusing to be of much help. If you're living with BPD, this compassionate book offers what you really need: an easy-to-follow road map to guide you through this disorder and its treatment.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Great BPD guide! 👍
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When Your Daughter Has BPD
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If you have a daughter with borderline personality disorder (BPD), you may feel frustration, shame, and your family may be at the breaking point dealing with angry outbursts, threats, and constant emergencies. You may even feel guilty for not enjoying spending time with your child - but how can you when her behavior is abusive toward you and the rest of your family? You need solid skills you can use now to help your daughter and hold your family together.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Most helpful book on the subject yet
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The Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder
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For family members of people with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), home life is routinely unpredictable and frequently unbearable. Extreme mood swings, impulsive behaviors, unfair blaming and criticism, and suicidal tendencies - common conduct among those who suffer from the disorder - leave family members feeling confused, hurt, and helpless.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Incredibly Helpful
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People with borderline personality disorder (BPD) can be intensely caring, warm, smart, and funny, but their behavior often drives away those closest to them. If you're struggling in a tumultuous relationship with someone with BPD, this is the book for you. Dr. Shari Manning helps you understand why your spouse, family member, or friend has such out-of-control emotions and how to change the way you can respond.
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fantastic
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1 out of 5 stars
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Antiquated
- By Jace on 10-13-21
By: Jerold J. Kreisman, and others
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Stop Caretaking the Borderline or Narcissist
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People with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorders are master manipulators; Caretakers fall for them every time. This book helps Caretakers break the cycle and puts them on a new path of personal freedom, discovery, and self-awareness, through the use of real stories and practical suggestions from a seasoned therapist.
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5 out of 5 stars
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life changing
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Understanding Borderline Personality Disorder
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 45
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 45
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Story5 out of 5 stars 45
Do you often find yourself happy and excited one minute, then upset and sad the next without even knowing why? Are you having a hard time making romantic relationships work because you’re afraid your partner will leave? Have you physically hurt a loved one–or yourself–out of extreme anger that you failed to control or stop? Or are you related to or concerned about someone with BPD–you don’t understand the disorder and want help? You’re not alone.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
Excellent discussion
- By D. Griffin on 05-29-23
By: Jennifer C. Dove
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Stop Walking on Eggshells, Third Edition
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- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,034
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 868
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 859
Stop Walking on Eggshells has already helped more than a million people with friends and family members suffering from BPD understand this difficult disorder, set boundaries, and help their loved ones stop relying on dangerous BPD behaviors. This fully revised third edition has been updated with the very latest BPD research on comorbidity, extensive new information about narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), the effectiveness of schema therapy, and coping and communication skills you can use to stabilize your relationship with the BPD or NPD sufferer in your life.
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5 out of 5 stars
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From someone who has BPD
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By: Paul T. Mason MS, and others
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Get Me Out of Here
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 708
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 708
Borderline Personality Disorder. "What the hell was that?" raged Rachel Reiland when she read the diagnosis written in her medical chart. As the 29-year old accountant, wife, and mother of young children would soon discover, it was the diagnosis that finally explained her explosive anger, manipulative behaviors, and self-destructive episodes- including bouts of anorexia, substance abuse, and sexual promiscuity.
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4 out of 5 stars
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May be worth the pain.
- By SLSoul on 03-26-12
By: Rachel Reiland
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Borderline
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- By: Alexander Kriss PhD
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 10
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 9
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Story5 out of 5 stars 9
An intimate, compassionate, and expansive portrait of Borderline Personality Disorder that rejects the conventional wisdom that this condition is untreatable, told by a psychologist who specializes in BPD....
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4 out of 5 stars
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Pretty wokey but worthwhile
- By Amazon Customer on 09-16-24
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The Buddha and the Borderline
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Kiera Van Gelder's first suicide attempt at the age of 12 marked the onset of her struggles with drug addiction, depression, post-traumatic stress, self-harm, and chaotic romantic relationships - all of which eventually led to doctors' belated diagnosis of borderline personality disorder 20 years later. The Buddha and the Borderline is a window into this mysterious and debilitating condition, an unblinking portrayal of one woman's fight against the emotional devastation of borderline personality disorder.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Clarity for a parent
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By: Kiera Van Gelder
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Stop Walking on Eggshells for Parents
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- By: Randi Kreger, Christine Adamec MBA, Daniel S. Lobel PhD
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- Unabridged
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 36
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Story5 out of 5 stars 35
If you have a child with borderline personality disorder (BPD), you are all-too-aware of the behavioral and emotional issues that are linked to this disorder-including rages, self-harm, sexual acting out, substance abuse, suicidal behaviors, physical and emotional attacks, and more. Traditional parenting strategies that work on other kids just don't work with a borderline child. But you shouldn't lose hope. The good news is that there are parenting strategies that do work.
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5 out of 5 stars
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an absolute lifesaver!
- By Robin D Cogswell on 01-31-23
By: Randi Kreger, and others
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Stop Walking on Eggshells for Partners
- What to Do When Your Partner Has Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder
- By: Randi Kreger, Bill Eddy LCSW JD
- Narrated by: Rachel Perry
- Length: 11 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 2
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 2
BPD and NPD expert Randi Kreger provides targeted resources to help you build the confidence you need to navigate your relationship safely and effectively. Packed with in-depth information and proven-effective skills, this guide will help you evaluate your relationship, discover what you truly want and need, and gain the courage needed to make healthy decisions.
By: Randi Kreger, and others
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Surviving a Borderline Parent
- How to Heal Your Childhood Wounds and Build Trust, Boundaries, and Self-Esteem
- By: Kimberlee Roth, Freda B. Friedman
- Narrated by: Pam Ward
- Length: 7 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 213
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 164
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 161
Although relatively common, borderline personality disorder (BPD) is often overlooked or misdiagnosed by therapists and clinicians and denied by those who suffer from it. If you were raised by a BPD parent, your childhood was a volatile and painful time. This book, the first written specifically for children of borderline parents, offers step-by-step guidance to understanding and overcoming the lasting effects of being raised by a person suffering from this disorder.
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5 out of 5 stars
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complete validation of what I only suspected !
- By Tricia on 07-26-17
By: Kimberlee Roth, and others
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Borderline Personality Disorder Survival Guide for You and Your Relationship
- Manage, Treat and Recover BPD Through the Power of Dialectical Behavioral Therapy
- By: Julie Griffiths
- Narrated by: Whitney Ann Jenkins
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 51
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Borderline Personality Disorder Survival Guide for You and Your Relationship educates you on the causes and conditions of BPD while providing a variety of powerful strategies and new techniques you or your loved one can put to use to start feeling better immediately. Dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) has a 77 percent success rate in the first year, eliminating the behaviors that classify BPD.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Helpful/Insightful
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By: Julie Griffiths
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Splitting, Second Edition
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Story5 out of 5 stars 74
Splitting is an essential legal and psychological guide for anyone divorcing a persuasive blamer: someone who suffers from borderline personality disorder (BPD), narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), and/or antisocial personality disorder (ASPD). This second edition includes new information about antisocial personalities; expanded information about domestic violence, child abuse, alienation, and false allegations; how to approach protective orders and deal with child custody disputes; and a new chapter on how to successfully present your case to decision makers.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Must read!
- By tara on 01-11-22
By: Bill Eddy LCSW JD, and others
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The Stop Walking on Eggshells Workbook
- Practical Strategies for Living with Someone Who Has Borderline Personality Disorder
- By: Randi Kreger, James Paul Shirley LMSW
- Narrated by: Rachel Perry
- Length: 8 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 3
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 3
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 3
The symptoms of borderline personality disorder (BPD) include severe mood shifts, unfounded accusations and wildly inappropriate displays of anger, a range of self-destructive behaviors, and frantic efforts to avoid abandonment. A practical guide to successfully navigating life with someone with BPD, The Stop Walking on Eggshells Workbook is chock full of checklists and exercises to help them apply what they've learned to their own relationship. It includes a list of phrases to use, and a glossary of BPD-related terms.
By: Randi Kreger, and others
What listeners say about Talking to a Loved One with Borderline Personality Disorder
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Autumn T.
- 06-01-24
Super helpful
I have read all of the 'recommended reading' and this has been by far the most helpful for the day to day dealings. The example situations and conversations were eerily accurate and provided great insight and examples of how to best handle specific challenges.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- kathryn
- 02-22-24
Relief!
I’m so excited about this book. It has already proved helpful in managing discussions with my BP spouse, who is currently working through a BPD workbook in tandem with therapy. It was great to hear word-for-word conversations we have had! It is a daunting task and definitely a difficult relationship. I’m happy to have some strategies and feel less alone in this struggle.
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1 person found this helpful