The Dark Lord Bert
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The Dark Lord Bert
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Narrated by:
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James Gillies
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By:
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Chris Fox
About this listen
How does a one-hit-point goblin become the Dark Lord?
By accident. Bert is a tiny goblin with big dreams. He follows adventurers, and loots the copper they leave behind when they take the real loot. One day, Bert hopes, he'll have enough copper to buy a warg, and finally promote from a one-HP critter to a Warg Rider.
Kit is a typical gamer hoping to enjoy a good story, but her friends are more interested in rules, loot and experience. Kit’s friends Crotchshot, Brakestuff, and the White Necromancer rampage their way across the land desperately seeking the Dark Lord trope, which gives the wielder the power to reshape the world.
When Bert accidentally steals the trope, Kit is forced to make a choice. Should she help her friends, or help a new Dark Lord rise to power?
The world will never be the same. Get ready for The Dark Lord Bert.
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 143
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 126
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 126
In one of the last cities standing after the world fell to monsters, best friends Zed Kagari and Brock Dunderfel have high hopes for the future. Zed desperately wishes to join the ranks of the Mages Guild, where his status as Freestone's only half-elf might finally be an asset. Brock, the roguishly handsome son of merchants, is confident he'll be welcomed into the ranks of the Merchants Guild. But just as it seems the boys' dreams have come true, their lives take a startling turn...and they find themselves members of the perilous Adventurers Guild.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Well written and well read.
- By Reviewer on 05-22-19
By: Zack Loran Clark, and others
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Elizabeth's Legacy
- Royal Institute of Magic, Book 1
- By: Victor Kloss
- Narrated by: Peter Kenny
- Length: 8 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,786
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,614
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,612
Two years after his parents' sudden disappearance, Ben Greenwood stumbles upon a cryptic letter that could shed some light on their whereabouts. But before he can track them down, he'll need to find the mysterious organization that sent the letter: The Royal Institute of Magic. To succeed, Ben will have to navigate a land filled with fantastic creatures and spellshooters, where magic can be bought and sold, to unravel an ancient family secret that could hold the key to defeating an evil the institute has been fighting for the last 500 years.
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5 out of 5 stars
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What a fantastic tribute to Kloss
- By Evry1sLostButMe on 01-24-17
By: Victor Kloss
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Wiz Biz Series 1
- Wizard’s Bane
- By: Rick Cook
- Narrated by: Joe Hempel
- Length: 9 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 136
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 117
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Story4 out of 5 stars 117
It all began when the wizards of the White League were under attack by their opponents of the Black League and one of their most powerful members cast a spell to bring forth a mighty wizard to aid their cause. What the spell delivered was master hacker Walter "Wiz" Zumwalt. But spells are a lot like computer programs, and, in spite of the Wiz's unprepossessing appearance, he was going to defeat the all-powerful Black League, win the love of a beautiful red-haired witch, and prove that when it comes to spells and sorcery, nobody but nobody can beat a Silicon Valley computer geek!
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3 out of 5 stars
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Spoilers ahead. Tread with caution!
- By John on 05-01-20
By: Rick Cook
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Patch 17
- By: G. Akella
- Narrated by: Zach Villa
- Length: 9 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,137
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,060
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,061
A new update arrives to the ultra-popular online game, Realm of Arkon. With Patch 17, the level of immersion experienced by players in their gaming capsules has made virtual reality indistinguishable from the real world. But every gamer's dream becomes a nightmare for Roman Kozhevnikov after he gets confined to Arkon against his will. And not just to Arkon, but to its deadliest zone - Demon Grounds. Playing - or rather living - as his character Krian, it's not just about survival for Roman.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Excellent story, great narrator...except...
- By Fitzwibble on 04-06-17
By: G. Akella
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Dragon Age: The Stolen Throne
- By: David Gaider
- Narrated by: Stephen Hoye
- Length: 13 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,543
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,346
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,347
After his mother, the beloved Rebel Queen, is betrayed and murdered by her own faithless lords, young Maric becomes the leader of a rebel army attempting to free his nation from the control of a foreign tyrant. His countrymen live in fear; his commanders consider him untested; and his only allies are Loghain, a brash young outlaw who saved his life, and Rowan, the beautiful warrior maiden promised to him since birth.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Fantastic Read
- By Brandon on 01-30-11
By: David Gaider
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The Sellsword
- Dragonlance: Tracy Hickman Presents: The Anvil of Time, Book 1
- By: Cam Banks
- Narrated by: James Langton
- Length: 8 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 43
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 42
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 43
Strike the Anvil of Time! Vanderjack is a mercenary with a troubled past and a sword haunted by ghosts. Hired to rescue a nobleman's daughter from behind enemy lines, the sellsword finds himself a pivotal player in the liberation of Nordmaar from the Red Dragon army. The Chronicler is charged to use the ancient Anvil of Time to travel back along the river of time and find the lost stories that fell between the pages of the history books of Krynn in this new series created and guided by the creative mind of Tracy Hickman.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Interesting story, alittle different at the end
- By Dennis on 04-16-13
By: Cam Banks
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The Dragon's Egg
- Dragonfall, Book 1
- By: David A. Wells
- Narrated by: Derek Perkins
- Length: 11 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,332
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,219
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,221
Seventy-five years ago, the dragons fell from the sky. We thought they were just meteorites - six terrifying explosions rang the world like a bell. When the dust settled, we went on with our lives as though nothing had happened. More than a decade later, five of the eggs hatched. The dragons that emerged were small and weak. They kept to the shadows, working in secret to persuade people to do their bidding, offering magic as payment and reward. Years passed...and still we didn't notice the evil growing in our midst.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Acting out of character
- By Skipper on 01-27-18
By: David A. Wells
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Thisby Thestoop and the Black Mountain
- By: Zac Gorman
- Narrated by: Moira Quirk
- Length: 7 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 36
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 32
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Story5 out of 5 stars 32
In the absurd land of Nth, Thisby Thestoop can be found within the forlorn walls of Castle Grimstone, down the precarious steps of the Black Mountain dungeon, up to her nose in griffon toenails, gnoll spittle, and troll meat (to give to them, not made of them).
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5 out of 5 stars
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Fantastic
- By Amazon Customer on 11-06-18
By: Zac Gorman
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The Dead Rogue
- An NPC’s Path, Book 1
- By: Pavel Kornev, Petr Burov - translator, Irene Woodhead - translator, and others
- Narrated by: Shawn Compton
- Length: 9 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 395
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 352
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 351
A game is only a game if you can quit. This is something I learned the hard way. I just wanted to let off some steam in virtual reality and ended up getting murdered and imprisoned in the body of one of the undead - slow, clumsy, and cursed to die at the hand of other players over and over again. The only way out of this awful predicament was to find the legendary Scroll of Rebirth, but the helpless plague-ridden corpse would need to be turned into a real killing machine. If only people knew what it was like to level up a dead rogue....
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2 out of 5 stars
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Don't be fooled it is BAD
- By David on 11-06-18
By: Pavel Kornev, and others
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Forever Fantasy Online
- Forever Fantasy Online, Book 1
- By: Rachel Aaron, Travis Bach
- Narrated by: Josh Hurley
- Length: 19 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 959
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 870
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 871
In the real world, twenty-one-year-old library sciences student Tina Anderson is invisible and under-appreciated, but in the VR-game Forever Fantasy Online she's Roxxy—the respected leader and main tank of a top-tier raiding guild. Her brother, James Anderson, has a similar problem. IRL he’s a college drop-out struggling under debt, but in FFO he's famous—an explorer known all over the world for doing every quest and collecting the rarest items.
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1 out of 5 stars
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The cover art is great....
- By Johnny Jeppesen on 08-18-18
By: Rachel Aaron, and others
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Chronicles of a Royal Pet: A Princess and an Ooze
- Royal Ooze Chronicles, Book 1
- By: Ian Rodgers
- Narrated by: Peter Kenny
- Length: 8 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 411
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 368
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 368
The world of Erafore is one full of magic and mystery. Heroes battle dragons, mages confront demons, and the gods watch over it all. Yet among these incredible beings, a single creature is born with the power to rewrite the destiny of the land. Taken in as a pet by the princess of the Kingdom of Varia, a mere Ooze will rise to stand in the tide of fate and defend the ones he loves from an encroaching void. But can a monster ever truly become a man?
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2 out of 5 stars
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Boring
- By Humility on 01-09-18
By: Ian Rodgers
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Temple of Sorrow
- Stonehaven League, Book 1
- By: Carrie Summers
- Narrated by: Annie Ellicott, Jeff Hays
- Length: 8 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,231
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 1,133
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,130
Relic Online is the hottest new game out there, and it's Devon Walker's best hope for escaping her hard-knock life. Thanks to her rocking achievements in other games, she's been hired as a salaried player. Even better, her new position comes with cutting-edge implants that turn RO's virtual reality into a full-sensory explosion. Her only task? Drive the game's creator AI to the outermost limits of its creativity. Sounds easy, right? But when Devon logs in, her expectations shatter like an ice golem hit with a sonic blast.
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4 out of 5 stars
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No veil of tears here
- By LITRPG Audiobook Reviews on 08-29-18
By: Carrie Summers
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The Spirit Thief
- The Legend of Eli Monpress, Book 1
- By: Rachel Aaron
- Narrated by: Luke Daniels
- Length: 8 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 2,061
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,845
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Story4 out of 5 stars 1,842
He's not just any thief. He’s the greatest thief of the age - and he’s also a wizard. And with the help of his partners - a swordsman with the most powerful magic sword in the world but no magical ability of his own, and a demonseed who can step through shadows and punch through walls - he’s going to put his plan into effect. The first step is to increase the size of the bounty on his head, so he’ll need to steal some big things. But he’ll start with somethingsmall. Something like a king....
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4 out of 5 stars
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Entertaining light fantasy
- By Kindle Customer on 02-16-12
By: Rachel Aaron
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The Nate Temple Series: Books 0-3
- The Nate Temple Series Boxset Book 1
- By: Shayne Silvers
- Narrated by: Joel Richards
- Length: 41 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,003
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 908
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 903
My name is Nate Temple, and I’m secretly a wizard. I ride a foul-mouthed unicorn, I drink with Achilles, and I’m pals with the Four Horsemen. I’ve even cow-tipped the Minotaur. I understand the theory of following the rules...I’m just not very good at the application. Because rules were meant to be broken, and St. Louis has a bit of a supernatural infestation these days. Someone should probably be keeping an eye on these things -and probably an eye on me, too. Before I blow up another building...or three.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Basically Batman with lizard brain
- By Ross Hageman on 04-01-20
By: Shayne Silvers
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Pools of Radiance
- Forgotten Realms: The Pools, Book 1
- By: James M. Ward, Jane Cooper Hong
- Narrated by: Teresa DeBerry
- Length: 11 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 214
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 188
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 189
The book of the Official Advanced Dungeons and Dragons computer game.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Return of a Favorite
- By Christopher on 01-11-13
By: James M. Ward, and others
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The Fate's Forsaken Omnibus
- Books 1-2 and Prequel Novella
- By: Shae Ford
- Narrated by: Derek Perkins
- Length: 37 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,695
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,571
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,564
Books 1, 2, and the prequel novella of the Fate's Forsaken series. The series follows the adventures of Kael: a young man who is thrust from his home in the Unforgivable Mountains and onto a hero's path. The journey is long, the battles are fierce - nearly all of his companions are outlaws. And Kael's rotten bad luck seems to make everything worse. This is his story.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Fantasy with light romance
- By Skipper on 09-23-15
By: Shae Ford
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Frostborn
- Thrones and Bones, Book 1
- By: Lou Anders
- Narrated by: Fabio Tassone
- Length: 8 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 59
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 54
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 54
Meet Karn. He is destined to take over the family farm in Norrøngard. His only problem? He'd rather be playing the board game Thrones and Bones. Enter Thianna. Half human, half frost giantess. She's too tall to blend in with other humans but too short to be taken seriously as a giant. When family intrigues force Karn and Thianna to flee into the wilderness, they have to keep their sense of humor and their wits about them. But survival can be challenging when you're being chased by a 1,500-year-old dragon, an evil uncle, wyverns, and an assortment of trolls and giants.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Good story
- By Erza on 12-14-22
By: Lou Anders
What listeners say about The Dark Lord Bert
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- John Buckman
- 07-01-20
excellent
A great parody of gaming and fantasy. The names alone all had me laughing. I cant wait to hear Berts next tale. Please get it to audible soon!
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Pendragon's Folly
- 02-04-20
Hilarious!
I love this book. I first read it on kindle. I now have it on audible and paperback. I pick up something new each time I read it!
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Kindle Customer
- 01-27-22
A fun story from a master of sci-fan
Despite being absolutely ridiculous and nothing like Magitech Chronicles or Deathless, this was fun and entertaining in pretty much every way; you can't help but feel endeared to Bert on one or more levels. It's also nice to see the story that's occasionally referenced in Fox's bigger works.
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Kindle Customer
- 04-23-19
Fun!
This book was a lot of fun to listen too, I laughed a lot and was able to enjoy a unique story can't wait for the next book!
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Kindle Customer
- 03-25-21
funny fantasy with humor
well told humor/cute fantasy/dungeon very light hearted story. narration worked very well. Burt is the best character since waldo for semi evil/good character hope next book keeps it up
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Jacob
- 01-27-21
Fantasy comedy-satire in its best form.
Lovable characters, saturated with modern references, just the right amount of ridiculousness; Yup. "Dark Lord Bert" will keep you engaged to the end. A good book paired with a stellar narration is what this is. Compare it to the other best satire in the genre, Orconomics.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Cory
- 04-14-19
Adventures laughter tears are you ready to roll?
this is a amazing mixture of great comedy tabletop slang and Accenture this is definitely something that needs to have sequels deathly and 8 book series if not more this author shows a potential that hasn't been seen since Terry Pratchett Discworld series I miss the Discworld series but maybe a small part this author can fill that void
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Ross
- 05-05-19
amazeballs
this book was hilarious , a total must read by fox. great narrator.worth the purchase.
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2 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- K. Hallett
- 12-03-19
what a fun listen!
I loved this. As a gamer I found it hilarious that a goblin managed to become the Dark Lord. Finally, alignment matters!
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Justin
- 04-16-19
short threadbare
Threadbare meets the nerd tropes. Well done. Narrator sells the entire book for me... tis good young ones.
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