The Fecal Manpurse

A Survivor's Guide to Colon Cancer

By: Stuart Chapin

Narrated by: Virtual Voice

Length: 6 hrs and 22 mins

Publisher's summary

What happens when a gifted writer is diagnosed with advanced colon cancer at 47 and faces the worst case scenario - a torturous uphill battle of unimaginable pain, fear, humiliation and heartache? What's the medicine of choice that's going to keep him alive? He writes. Stuart Chapin - screenwriter, director, stuntman, 80's action star, loving husband and father of two. He has a perspective like no other and a plan to beat the odds. Brutally honest, he crafts words with a relentless wit. To survive cancer, you need more than a sense of humor. You need an unending arsenal, which Stuart cultivated for years as a singing telegram messenger. As he was being wheeled into surgery for the first time, a nurse leans over and "In the purest Southern drawl ever, she said, “We find in cases where’s a lessen a 50/50 chance o’ survival, it really helps if the patient has something to live for. Wassh y’all got to live for, sugah?” I thought, Who trained you? What I said was, “I want to walk my daughter down the aisle.” ”Oh, that’s precious! When’s the date?” “How the hell should I know? She’s six and this ain’t West Virginia. Do it right.” And Stuart found plenty to live for. Whether it was teaching Shakespeare to inner city kids, walking his little girl down the aisle, building his kids their dream tree house, or writing this journal, a strong sense of purpose is essential along with a perspective that's going to keep you sane along the way. Colon cancer is the number two killer and the number one most preventable. If by some misfortune you have it, this book will prepare you for the harsh reality and help you prepare a battle plan. If not, this should serve as a cautionary tale for you to eat right, exercise, and get checked out, especially if you're over 50. Regardless, if you ever had a dream you thought was crazy... "Don’t put it off. Start it today. Whatever it is, make even a small start. The world cannot wait. If it’s daunting, if it scares the hell out of you, so much the better. And ladies and gentlemen, I know whereof I speak, doitnow, doitnow, doitnow. You don’t have time to put it off. With that in mind, I leave you with the words of one last great philosopher who was far less a curmudgeon than I, who said, “When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.” That man was W.C. Fields. Go in haste. Abide in hope. Be good cynics. Add your light to the sum of light." - S Chapin.

Raw and honest. AI narration is a crime!

Beautiful story. Honest, open and very well written. The use of AI narration is a horrible slap in the face of an author’s heartfelt work. I recommend this book but not on audio. I will not ever purchase another audio book narrated with AI.