The Forgotten Girls

A Memoir of Friendship and Lost Promise in Rural America

By: Monica Potts

Narrated by: Monica Potts

Talented and ambitious, Monica Potts and her best friend, Darci, were both determined to make something of themselves. How did their lives turn out so different?

“The Forgotten Girls is much more than a memoir; it’s the unflinching story of rural women trying to live in the most rugged, ultra-religious, and left-behind places in America.”—Beth Macy, author of Dopesick

Growing up gifted and working-class poor in the foothills of the Ozarks, Monica and Darci became fast friends. The girls bonded over a shared love of reading and learning, even as they navigated the challenges of their tumultuous family lives and declining town—broken marriages, alcohol abuse, and shuttered stores and factories. They pored over the giant map in their middle-school classroom, tracing their fingers over the world that awaited them, vowing to escape. In the end, Monica left Clinton for college and fulfilled her dreams, but Darci, along with many in their circle of friends, did not.

Years later, working as a journalist covering poverty, Potts discovered what she already intuitively knew about the women in Arkansas: Their life expectancy had dropped steeply—the sharpest such fall in a century. This decline has been attributed to “deaths of despair”—suicide, alcoholism, and drug overdoses—but Potts knew their causes were too complex to identify in a sociological study. She had grown up with these women, and when she saw Darci again, she found that her childhood friend—addicted to drugs, often homeless, a single mother—was now on track to becoming a statistic.

In this gripping narrative, Potts deftly pinpoints the choices that sent her and Darci on such different paths and then widens the lens to explain why those choices are so limited. The Forgotten Girls is a profound, compassionate look at a population in trouble, and a uniquely personal account of the way larger forces, such as inheritance, education, religion, and politics, shape individual lives.

©2023 Monica Potts (P)2023 Random House Audio

Critic reviews

"The Forgotten Girls is much more than a memoir; it's the unflinching story of rural women trying to live in the most rugged, ultra-religious and left-behind places in America. Rendering what she sees with poignancy and whip-smart analyses, Monica Potts took a gutsy, open-hearted journey home and turned it into art.”—Beth Macy, author of Dopesick and Raising Lazarus

“The Forgotten Girls is beautiful and hard, a deeply reported memoir of a place, a friendship, a childhood and a country riven by systemic injustices transformed into individual tragedies. Monica Potts is a gifted writer; I read this extraordinary story of friendship and sisterhood, ambition and loss in rural America in one sitting; it is propulsive, clear and really important.”—Rebecca Traister, author of Good and Mad

“A troubling tale of heartland America in cardiac arrest, of friendship tested, of meth and Sonic burgers and every other kind of bad nourishment, of what we have let happen to our rural towns, and what they have invited on themselves. A personal and highly readable story about two women in a small cranny of America, but which offers an illuminating panorama of where our country stands.”—Sam Quinones, author of Dreamland and The Least of Us

Spoke to my small town soul

I grew up in a small town and taught in one. Thank you for making a research project feel like a friendship novel.

Great retelling of rural American life

Touching and eye opening story. Allows the reader to understand those with that background a lot better. Their struggles, hopes, dreams, failings, and successes. But more importantly, the aftermath thereof.

Poignant

This book, beautifully written, is the anti-Hillbilly Elegy. I learned so much about a part of the country that I knew nothing about. Potts carefully and thoughtfully demonstrates the interplay between structural forces and individual choices that leads to varied life outcomes. I hope Darci gets the chance to live a good life.

Fantastic

Thank you for sharing this story. This was a facinating look at a facet of America so often
Overlooked. I love the authors voice as well.

Only one issue

The book itself was very interesting and informative. As a woman who grew up in a rural, conservative, Christian southern town, everything was spot on. My only minor complaint throughout the entire book was the authors reading - every few paragraphs you can hear her clear and swallow her saliva and while I get that it’s a natural bodily response to that much speaking, it’s not something listeners should hear. The authors tone was great and I was genuinely impressed at how well she read through truly traumatic events from her and her loved ones’ lives. Overall a good listen otherwise.

Outstanding story

Incredible narration by the author. It’s one thing to write about the bitter and painful moments in your own life, but it’s a whole other thing to narrate those moments out loud. Superb job by Potts.

Having relatives from a similar small, economically depressed town, the entire story of what happens to those who can’t find their way out was all too familiar. I appreciated the lack of false hope as well. This is not a story of redemption, or overcoming all odds to succeed. This is the unvarnished truth that so many people - women especially - live through every day. Highly recommend this short listen, especially if you’re interested in what living in a small, rural, and socially/economically depressed community is like.

A helpful explanation into the thinking and beliefs of white rural America

This memoir gave clarity to the questions and thoughts that have come to the surface especially over the past 6 to 8 years. It explains the political positioning in the foundation of it and particular how it affects the lives, the well-being, and the despair of white women. We are experiencing and caught in a cycle that is partly by design and partly of our own creation. This is red and a quiet documentary style but it suits the story. I really appreciate learning some of the background of the thinking and voting and lifestyle that baffles me.

Ranks in my top 10 favorite reads

Beautifully written memoir that I won’t ever forget. An honest and devastating story that I’m sure will touch many. The author examines and confronts many important topics that exist in our modern culture, and connects these cultural “norms” to the uncomfortable reality that they directly impact many health disparities that we tend to just accept.

A deep & melancholy story

Monica Potts reveals her childhood and life long friendship with her best friend in such a sweet and poignant way that is ultimately so sad. This memoir speaks to the grinding poverty of rural America and how it has shaped views held for generations about race, education and religion. A fascinating read/listen.

The Opposite of Hillbilly Elegy

As a white woman who grew up in the Ozarks of Missouri (and escaped after high school), this is entirely too relatable. I could change the names from those in Monica’s story to people from my hometown and tell the same truths. The conservative mindset which grows out of lack of education + intense religious beliefs + fear of ‘others’ + lack of opportunity + isolation + the expectation of settling there with a husband & kids create an environment where girls become disposable. These are chronic and pervasive cultural norms in rural America. The cycles of drug use, rehab, incarceration, and losing custody of children to the foster system are common for women in rural areas too. There are few, if any, mental health and other resources available in remote corners of this country. We need to empower and educate the girls in these areas to dream big and get out.