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The Sociopath Next Door
- Narrated by: Shelly Frasier
- Length: 7 hrs and 26 mins
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Publisher's summary
How do we recognize the remorseless? One of their chief characteristics is a kind of glow or charisma that makes sociopaths more charming or interesting than the other people around them. They're more spontaneous, more intense, more complex, or even sexier than everyone else, making them tricky to identify and leaving us easily seduced. Fundamentally, sociopaths are different because they cannot love. Sociopaths learn early on to show sham emotion, but underneath they are indifferent to others' suffering. They live to dominate and thrill to win.
The fact is, we all almost certainly know at least one or more sociopaths already. Part of the urgency in reading The Sociopath Next Door is the moment when we suddenly recognize that someone we know, someone we worked for, or were involved with, or voted for, is a sociopath. But what do we do with that knowledge? To arm us against the sociopath, Dr. Stout teaches us to question authority, suspect flattery, and beware the pity play. Above all, she writes, when a sociopath is beckoning, do not join the game.
It is the ruthless versus the rest of us, and The Sociopath Next Door will show you how to recognize and defeat the devil you know.
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Critic reviews
"Stout is a good writer and her exploration of sociopaths can be arresting." (Publishers Weekly)
"A remarkable philosophical examination of the phenomenon of sociopathy and its everyday manifestations....Stout's portraits make a striking impact and readers with unpleasant neighbors or colleagues may find themselves paying close attention to her sociopathic-behavior checklist and suggested coping strategies. Deeply thought-provoking and unexpectedly lyrical." (Kirkus)
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There's no denying the allure of psychopaths. There's something disturbing but fascinating about people so ruthless and manipulative, who lack the ability to feel guilt or remorse over their actions. Stories of psychopaths abound in just about every mystery subgenre, from action-packed thrillers to nuanced psychological character studies, and also stand out in works of psychology and neuroscience. Listen to some of the most riveting books about psychopaths.
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Why do we think, feel, and act in ways we wish we did not? For decades, New York Times best-selling author Dr. David A. Kessler has studied this question with regard to tobacco, food, and drugs. Over the course of these investigations, he identified one underlying mechanism common to a broad range of human suffering. This phenomenon - capture - is the process by which our attention is hijacked and our brains commandeered by forces outside our control.
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Confused
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Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me): Third Edition
- Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions, and Hurtful Acts
- By: Carol Tavris, Elliot Aronson
- Narrated by: Carol Tavris, Elliot Aronson
- Length: 12 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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Renowned social psychologists Carol Tavris and Elliot Aronson take a compelling look into how the brain is wired for self-justification. When we make mistakes, we must calm the cognitive dissonance that jars our feelings of self-worth. And so we create fictions that absolve us of responsibility, restoring our belief that we are smart, moral, and right - a belief that often keeps us on a course that is dumb, immoral, and wrong. Backed by years of research and delivered in energetic prose, Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me) offers a fascinating explanation of self-deception.
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If you're a liberal hater - this book's for you
- By MRN on 11-13-20
By: Carol Tavris, and others
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I Don't Want to Talk About It
- Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression
- By: Terrence Real
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Psychotherapist Terrence Real offers an important and compelling look at the silent epidemic of depression among men and shows, with compassion and clarity, what can be done to break this vicious cycle.
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Dated, Freudian take on subject with shock value
- By Matthew&Rebecca on 04-28-12
By: Terrence Real
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Bonds That Make Us Free
- Healing Our Relationships, Coming to Ourselves
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- Narrated by: C. Terry Warner
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Bonds That Make Us Free is a groundbreaking book that suggests the remedy for our troubling emotions by addressing their root causes. You'll learn how, in ways we scarcely suspect, we are responsible for feelings like anger, envy, and insecurity that we have blamed on others. Even though we fear to admit this, it is good news. If we produce these emotions, it falls within our power to stop them. But we have to understand our part in them far better than we do, and that is what this remarkable book teaches.
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Helped save our marriage.
- By Kevin Gray on 02-15-19
By: C. Terry Warner
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Us
- Getting Past You & Me to Build a More Loving Relationship
- By: Terrence Real
- Narrated by: Terrence Real, Bruce Springsteen
- Length: 10 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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At a time when toxic individualism is rending our society at every level, bestselling author and renowned marriage counselor Terrence Real sees how it poisons intimate relationships in his therapy practice, where he works with couples on the brink of disaster. The good news: Warmer, closer, more passionate relationships are possible if you have the right tools. In his transformative new book Us, Real brilliantly observes how our winner-takes-all culture infiltrates families with devastating results.
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I preferred Fierce Intimacy
- By Jose on 06-23-22
By: Terrence Real
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Rethinking Narcissism
- The Bad - and Surprising Good - About Feeling Special
- By: Dr. Craig Malkin
- Narrated by: Kiff VandenHeuvel
- Length: 6 hrs and 6 mins
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In Rethinking Narcissism listeners will learn that there's far more to narcissism than its reductive invective would imply. The truth is that narcissists (all of us) fall on a spectrum somewhere between utter selflessness on the one side and arrogance and grandiosity on the other. A healthy middle exhibits a strong sense of self.
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Great info, but proceed with caution
- By Caterina M. Platt on 11-16-17
By: Dr. Craig Malkin
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The New Strong-Willed Child
- By: James C. Dobson
- Narrated by: John Fuller
- Length: 6 hrs and 44 mins
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Dr. James Dobson has completely rewritten, updated, and expanded his classic best seller The Strong-Willed Child for a new generation of parents and teachers. The New Strong-Willed Child follows on the heels of Dr. Dobson's phenomenal best seller Bringing Up Boys. It offers practical how-to advice on raising difficult-to-handle children and incorporates the latest research with Dr. Dobson's legendary wit and wisdom.
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Answer to my prayers!
- By JG on 03-04-16
By: James C. Dobson
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Trapped in the Mirror
- Adult Children of Narcissists in Their Struggle for Self
- By: Elan Golomb
- Narrated by: Angela Brazil
- Length: 11 hrs and 1 min
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The difficulties experienced by adult children of narcissists can manifest themselves in many ways - for example, physical self-loathing that takes the form of overeating, anorexia, or bulimia; a self-destructive streak that causes poor job performance and rocky personal relationships; or a struggle with the self that is perpetuated in the adult's interaction with his or her own children. These dilemmas are both common and correctable, Elan Golomb tells us.
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Convoluted
- By Caligirl on 08-25-17
By: Elan Golomb
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The 7 Laws of Magical Thinking
- How Irrational Beliefs Keep Us Happy, Healthy, and Sane
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In this witty and perceptive debut, a former editor at Psychology Today shows us how magical thinking makes life worth living. Psychologists have documented a litany of cognitive biases and explained their positive functions. Now, Matthew Hutson shows us that even the most hardcore skeptic indulges in magical thinking all the time - and it's crucial to our survival. Drawing on evolution, cognitive science, and neuroscience, Hutson shows us that magical thinking has been so useful to us that it's hardwired into our brains.
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Highly enjoyable
- By David R Pinsof on 05-01-12
By: Matthew Hutson
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The New Dare to Discipline
- By: James C. Dobson
- Narrated by: Mike Trout
- Length: 2 hrs and 57 mins
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Why are boundaries so important? Do children really want limits set on their behavior? Is it okay to spank my child, or will it lead him to hit others and become a violent person? Join the millions of caring parents who have found much-needed answers to their questions in the wisdom of parenting expert and family counselor Dr. James Dobson.
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Well written, and very easy to listen to!
- By jeff lukasik on 01-12-18
By: James C. Dobson
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Living the Secular Life
- New Answers to Old Questions
- By: Phil Zuckerman
- Narrated by: Andy Paris
- Length: 8 hrs and 9 mins
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A guidebook for living a life without religion, combining sociological insight and personal inspiration. Over the last 25 years, "no religion" has become the fastest growing religion in the United States. Around the world, hundreds of millions of people have turned away from the traditional faiths of the past and embraced a secular - or nonreligious - life, generating societies vastly less religious than at any other time in human history.
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Anecdotal based approach for understanding
- By Gary on 12-30-14
By: Phil Zuckerman
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Suspicious Minds
- How Culture Shapes Madness
- By: Joel Gold, Ian Gold
- Narrated by: Joel Gold, Ian Gold
- Length: 9 hrs and 51 mins
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Mr. A. was admitted to Dr. Joel Gold’s inpatient unit at Bellevue Hospital in 2002. He was, he said, being filmed constantly, and his life was being broadcast around the world "like The Truman Show" - the 1998 film depicting a man who is unknowingly living out his life as the star of a popular soap opera. Over the next few years, Gold saw a number of patients suffering from what he and his brother, Dr. Ian Gold, began calling the "Truman Show Delusion," launching them on a quest to understand the nature of this particular phenomenon and the nature of madness itself.
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Intriguing
- By L. K. on 04-18-16
By: Joel Gold, and others
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Selfish, Shallow, and Self-Absorbed
- Sixteen Writers on the Decision Not to Have Kids
- By: Meghan Daum
- Narrated by: Johnny Heller, Jo Anna Perrin
- Length: 7 hrs and 40 mins
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Performance
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One of the main topics of cultural conversation during the last decade was the supposed "fertility crisis" and whether modern women could figure out a way to have it all - a successful, demanding career and the required 2.3 children - before their biological clocks stopped ticking. Now, however, conversation has turned to whether it's necessary to have it all (see Anne-Marie Slaughter) or, perhaps more controversial, whether children are really a requirement for a fulfilling life.
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Am I the only sane childfree woman in here?
- By J. Malouin on 09-29-15
By: Meghan Daum
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Okay...a little too sympathetic
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Interesting because it comes to more than one conclusion
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Book ruined by the narrator
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Narcissists are everywhere. There are millions of them in the United States alone: entertainers, politicians, business people, your neighbors. Recognizing and understanding them is crucial to your not being overtaken by them, says Jeffrey Kluger, in his provocative new book about this insidious disorder. With insight and wit, Kluger frames the surprising new research on narcissism and explains the complex, exasperating personality disorder.
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What listeners say about The Sociopath Next Door
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
- Chad
- 08-30-20
Sociopaths are more common than you'd think
This was definitely an interesting work. There are a few intriguing facts about sociopathy, and then the rest of the book is passed with anonymized and often composite stories of sociopaths in everyday life. This really helps to illustrate how someone can more or less function in society (or indeed, be your next door neighbor) and still be a sociopath. Still, the book seems a bit light on content when all is said and done. Still, it's very good.
I will note that I did find the stories gripping. Any of them could have easily been extended into a complete work of fiction.
Interesting tidbits:
- sociopathy is not a temporary issue, nor can it be treated. It's ingrained into people's very core
- about 4% of the US consists of sociopaths (more or less in other cultures)
- some aspects of American society encourage sociopathy
- at least 50% of sociopathy is genetic, the rest cultural
- sociopathy can be accurately detected using various psychological tests. For example, a person with a conscience recognizes emotionally meaningful words (like "love") faster than other words. A sociopath does not.
- sociopaths are sometimes very charismatic and can be good at faking emotional behavior when it suits their ends
- one of the best ways to tell a sociopath is that they always try to play the pity angle and make you feel sorry for them, even when they have done something awful
- how to deal with sociopaths? Avoid them
- sociopaths often try to gaslight you. Good people question their judgment. A sociopath will convince them they couldn't possibly think the sociopath did something bad.
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- Benjamin
- 03-12-20
everyone should read this
it's not perfect, because the author hasn't met everyone she talks about in this book and speaks with more authority than is usually a good idea, but I still say 5 stars, must read
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- Bookrusseller
- 02-18-20
Brilliant and Relevant
I am a mental health professional and I bought this book because I wanted to learn more of APD/sociopathy.
That said, I felt this book is brilliant. Along with breaking down theory and research, Stout gave several taken-from-real-life examples/vignettes regarding how sociopathy can manifest in people and how it can impact those who surround them.
Aside from Stout's spot-on content, her writing style is spectacular; I wondered if she has written novels (I would buy them). Also, the narration was very agreeable.
Stout had cited that 1 in 25 people meet criteria for APD/sociopathy. In the era of Trump and "corruption gone wild," this book is book is as relevant now as when it was written in 2005 (and maybe even more so).
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- Tiki
- 06-07-21
I can't put it down!
I agree with everyone- Shelly Frasier does an excellent job narrating. This book goes into much more than describing a Sociopath. It goes into their effect on society, raises moral questions around consciousness, war, terror. It's fascinating & eye-opening.
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- Cath
- 10-03-21
Even better on audible!
A must read! you will recognize these sociopaths from co workers, friends , neighbors, world leaders , or the one sitting right next to you & and right there in your family. This book will help you understand or rationalize the lack of empathy to true evil in every walk of life
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- Dblmms
- 06-13-14
Very illuminating!
This book is well worth reading to discover how many people you may have known (or know currently) who could possibly be sociopaths. Although this book may not be the most clinically scientific book on the subject of sociopathy, I was engrossed by the composite cases Dr. Stout presents in the book...even though it was at times difficult, creepy and chilling to read. As another reviewer stated, it is more of a "self defense" book regarding sociopaths vs. one which will assist in how to handle a sociopath with whom it is very difficult, or perhaps impossible, for one to cut all ties (a relative, etc). Nonetheless, there is much is this book which is quite enlightening, informative and may very well assist you by helping you to avoid becoming significantly involved with a sociopath in the future...and also help you to recognize when you may have inadvertently encountered one...such as your neighbor. I definitely recommend it and will probably be buying this book for at least a few friends or family members!
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- Doctor J
- 09-11-17
Great insight into sociopaths
Very interesting book that provides a good perspective into what it is like being a sociopath through interesting stories.
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- Michelle Cowart
- 01-09-17
Interesting
The stories were definitely interesting that were presented in this book, but I didn't find the book very informative. It was more of a fear-mongering kind of work of its own.... which is ironic given some of the psychology the author is getting across.
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- Kathleen
- 01-26-12
Hmmmmmmmmmmmm....
What did you love best about The Sociopath Next Door?
I really enjoyed the information in the book. It opened up my eyes to some of the people I have spent a lot of time with in my life, and answered many of those haunting questions that have plagued me over the years. The problem is, I had a lot of trouble listening to the narrator for more than a half hour at a time. Her voice droned on and on and even when there were new sections, it was hard to detect, because she seemed to never pause. This has made me think that to really get the most out of a book such as this one that has a lot of technical information, one should invest in the paper edition of the book. If I had it to do all over again, I would definitely have purchased the print version. I honestly wish I could have given the book five stars, but the narration just ruined it for me.
Would you listen to another book narrated by Shelly Frasier?
NO
What’s the most interesting tidbit you’ve picked up from this book?
Most of all, I enjoyed learning that my relative's bizarre behavior is not sociopathic, and that my ex-husband's behavior definitely was a textbook example, as I had always suspected.
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- Nancy
- 07-20-15
Better Than You Think
If you could sum up The Sociopath Next Door in three words, what would they be?
Ya never know nowadays [yes, its 4 words]
What was one of the most memorable moments of The Sociopath Next Door?
When the description of the sociopath's favorite ploy, the pity play, struck like lightening.
What about Shelly Frasier’s performance did you like?
She sounded like a shrink. Felt like I was in the office.
Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?
I'd say the prevalence of these people was the most shocking.
Any additional comments?
I know someone who attracts predator types, though not necessarily sociopaths. More like Narcissist types. A friend recommended this book, so I gave it a shot, thinking I'd be bored if it got too technical. It maintained my interest throughout.
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