They Ate the Waitress?
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They Ate the Waitress?
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Narrated by:
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Christopher J Dusky
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By:
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D.N. Schmidt
About this listen
A delightfully funny murder mystery full of wit, wordplay, and cannibalism. Nick Wergild is a private detective armed only with his wits and an atomic-powered electroshock gun.
One evening, while under the influence of powerful hallucinogens, he is hired to investigate a murder at a local restaurant called “Hand to Mouth”. It seems the customers ate one of the staff. And she didn’t even volunteer for the job.
Nick has to find a way to solve the case without a body or a crime scene. Along the way, he also has to survive hit men, bomb-throwing security guards, bad puns, and a homicidal politician.
Will he live long enough to solve the case? Can you really trust the owner of a restaurant for cannibals? What does human flesh really taste like? And why does furniture keep falling from the sky?
If you love humor, mysteries, and anything weird, you don't want to miss this!
©2019 D.N. Schmidt (P)2020 D.N. SchmidtListeners also enjoyed...
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Story4 out of 5 stars 197
When a vibrant young woman is found in bed by her hotshot businessman husband, carved from belly to throat with a very sharp knife, the elite Robbery-Homicide Division of the LAPD responds in full force. Best-case scenario for lead Detective Lena Gamble: Nikki Brant's husband killed her, case closed, and on to the next crime scene before the ravenous Hollywood media can get their lurid tabloid machinery up and running.
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5 out of 5 stars
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incredible
- By Anonymous User on 01-29-09
By: Robert Ellis
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Paw Enforcement
- K9, Book 1
- By: Diane Kelly
- Narrated by: Coleen Marlo
- Length: 10 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 1,012
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 909
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Story4 out of 5 stars 908
Officer Luz is lucky she still has a job after tasering a male colleague where it counts the most. Sure, he had it coming - which is why the police chief is giving Megan a second chance. The catch? Her new partner can't carry a gun, can't drive a cruiser, and can't recite the Miranda Rights. Because her new partner is a big furry police dog. So that's what the chief meant when he called Megan's partner a real bitch...With Brigit out on the beat, Megan is writing up enough tickets to wallpaper the whole station.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Not so funny
- By Anonymous User on 09-27-14
By: Diane Kelly
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Inherit the Bones
- A Detective Gemma Monroe Mystery, Book 1
- By: Emily Littlejohn
- Narrated by: Harper Landry
- Length: 11 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 139
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 118
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 117
Secrets and lies can’t stay buried forever in Cedar Valley. In the summer, hikers and campers pack the small Colorado town’s meadows and fields. And in the winter, skiers and snowboarders take over the mountains. Season by season, year after year, time passes, and the lies, like the aspens and evergreens that surround the town, take root and spread deep. Now, someone has uncovered the lies, and it is his murder that continues a chain of events that began almost 40 years ago.
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5 out of 5 stars
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intriguing
- By Anonymous User on 06-26-19
By: Emily Littlejohn
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Lola Is Missing
- By: Alison James
- Narrated by: Jan Cramer
- Length: 8 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 195
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 168
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 167
Six-year-old Lola Jade Harper is taken from her bedroom. Her mother is distraught. She is convinced her estranged husband, Gavin Harper, has abducted their daughter. Detective Rachel Prince is leading the investigation but is soon out of her depth as she searches for the most high-profile missing child in the country. To uncover the truth about Lola’s disappearance, Rachel must untangle the Harper family’s complicated web of secrets and lies.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Very good!
- By Maine Knitter on 02-16-19
By: Alison James
What listeners say about They Ate the Waitress?
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Anonymous User
- 03-16-21
A witty and suspenseful murder mystery!
This was an enjoyable story about a private detective. As Nick was hired to solve a murder, he himself was thrown into his own unsolved mystery of who wanted him dead. With multiple suspects, he must face interrogating each one as he tries to stay alive in the process. You won't be disappointed!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Bowen Greenwood
- 11-10-24
Funny dark humor.
In a future version of the U.S., the government has been utterly and completely abolished. That means everything is legal, including a luxury restaurant catering to wealthy cannibals.
Yes, cannibals. f you don’t have the stomach for constant jokes about cannibalism, this isn’t for you.
But if you're a dark humor aficionado, the jokes come fast and furious, and the good news is, they’re hilarious. I’m not sure if a single paragraph passed without a wisecrack, and they were almost always funny.
Our main character is Nick Wergild, a private investigator or, in the parlance of this world, a manhunter. After an opening scene involving the arrest of a former politician from before the abolishment of government (including capturing the suspect because he flees into a brothel where they have an abundance of means to restrain people), Nick is hired to investigate the death of Renee Flockhardt, a waitress at the cannibal restaurant. Unfortunately there are no remains because … well, you can imagine.
I enjoyed this more for the jokes than for the mystery. On the down side, if you have a sacred cow, it’s going to get gored in here.
I laughed out loud through most of the book. If you have the stomach for it, I strongly suspect you will too.
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