What the Hell Did I Just Read
A Novel of Cosmic Horror
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What the Hell Did I Just Read
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Narrated by:
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Stephen R. Thorne
About this listen
It's the story "They" don't want you to listen to. Though, to be fair, "They" are probably right about this one. To quote the Bible, "Learning the truth can be like loosening a necktie, only to realize it was the only thing keeping your head attached". No, don't put the book back on the shelf - it is now your duty to purchase it to prevent others from listening to it. Yes, it works with audiobooks, too, I don't have time to explain how.
While investigating a fairly straightforward case of a shape-shifting interdimensional child predator, Dave, John, and Amy realized there might actually be something weird going on. Together, they navigate a diabolically convoluted maze of illusions, lies, and their own incompetence in an attempt to uncover a terrible truth they - like you - would be better off not knowing.
Your first impulse will be to think that a story this gruesome - and, to be frank, stupid - cannot possibly be true. That is precisely the reaction "They" are hoping for.
©2017 David Wong, Jason Pargin (P)2017 Audible, Inc.Listeners also enjoyed...
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STOP. You should not have touched this flyer with your bare hands. NO, don't put it down. It's too late. They're watching you. My name is David Wong. My best friend is John. Those names are fake. You might want to change yours. You may not want to know about the things you'll read on these pages, about the sauce, about Korrok, about the invasion, and the future. But it's too late. You touched the book. You're in the game. You're under the eye. The only defense is knowledge. You need to read this book, to the end. Even the part with the bratwurst. Why?
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Vulgar Funny. 4.95 Sale Win.
- By C Yohe on 11-19-12
By: David Wong
-
Kiss Her Goodbye
- A Fourth Dimension Thriller
- By: Robert Gregory Browne
- Narrated by: Scott Brick
- Length: 10 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 142
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 130
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 127
All ATF Agent Jack Donovan wants out of life is to do his job and work on his strained relationship with his daughter Jessie after a nasty divorce. But in a ruthless act of revenge by a charismatic madman, Jessie is kidnapped and buried alive, with barely enough oxygen to sustain her. Now the only man who can save her, the only man who knows where to find her, has just been shot dead - and the clock is ticking... So what's a father to do?
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Super supernatural thriller
- By shelley on 02-02-14
-
Zombies: More Recent Dead
- By: Neil Gaiman, Carrie Vaughn, Caitlin R. Kiernan, and others
- Narrated by: Sean Pratt, Marguerite Gavin
- Length: 20 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 128
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 116
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 116
The living dead are more alive than ever! Zombies have become more than an iconic monster for the 21st century: They are now a phenomenon constantly revealing as much about ourselves - and our fascination with death, resurrection, and survival - as our love for the supernatural or post-apocalyptic speculation. Our most imaginative literary minds have been devoured by these incredible creatures and produced exciting, insightful, and unflinching new works of zombie fiction.
-
3 out of 5 stars
-
A well blended mix
- By The Lone Mopper on 07-30-15
By: Neil Gaiman, and others
-
Cold City
- Repairman Jack: Early Years Trilogy, Book 1
- By: F. Paul Wilson
- Narrated by: Alexander Cendese
- Length: 11 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 1,218
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,054
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 1,049
If you've never read a Repairman Jack novel, this is the place to begin. It's 1990. A twenty-one-year-old named Jack has dropped out of college, leaving his old life behind to build a new one in New York City. Manhattan's rough edges are jagged enough to shred any unwary newcomer, but perhaps not one who is determined to stay off the grid, at any cost, in the busiest metropolis on earth. And to do so, he'll have to take jobs of a less than legal nature.
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4 out of 5 stars
-
Fun, as long you don't think too much
- By Andrew Pollack on 01-17-14
By: F. Paul Wilson
-
Yesterday's Gone: Season One
- By: Sean Platt, David Wright
- Narrated by: Chris Patton, Brian Holsopple, Ray Chase, and others
- Length: 15 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 3,818
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 3,541
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 3,527
Can humanity Survive what it never saw coming? On October 15 at 2:15 a.ms Earth vanished. A scattered few woke alone in a world with no rules, other than survival at any cost. A journalist wanders the wretched reality of an empty New York, searching for his wife and son. A serial killer must hunt in a land where prey is now an endangered species. A mother shields her young daughter from danger through every terror-filled breath.
-
1 out of 5 stars
-
Idk how it got such rave reviews!? horrible!!
- By Kate+4 on 05-26-18
By: Sean Platt, and others
-
I Am Not a Serial Killer
- John Cleaver, Book 1
- By: Dan Wells
- Narrated by: Kirby Heyborne
- Length: 7 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 935
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 837
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 836
John Wayne Cleaver is dangerous, and he knows it. He's obsessed with serial killers, but really doesn't want to become one. So for his own sake, and the safety of those around him, he lives by rigid rules he's written for himself, practicing normal life as if it were a private religion that could save him from damnation. Dead bodies are normal to John. They don't demand or expect the empathy he's unable to offer. Perhaps that's what gives him the objectivity to recognize that there's something different about the body the police have just found behind the Wash-n-Dry Laundromat - and to appreciate what that difference means.
-
1 out of 5 stars
-
WRONG CATEGORY - THIS IS NOT A MYSTERY
- By guy on 02-27-19
By: Dan Wells
-
Monster Hunter International
- By: Larry Correia
- Narrated by: Oliver Wyman
- Length: 24 hrs
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 20,476
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 18,505
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 18,478
Five days after Owen Zastava Pitt pushed his insufferable boss out of a 14th story window, he woke up in the hospital with a scarred face, an unbelievable memory, and a job offer. It turns out that monsters are real. All the things from myth, legend, and B-movies are out there, waiting in the shadows. Some of them are evil, and some are just hungry. Monster Hunter International is the premier eradication company in the business. And now Owen is their newest recruit.
-
4 out of 5 stars
-
Suprizingly entertaining
- By Konstantin on 02-17-12
By: Larry Correia
-
Raising Stony Mayhall
- By: Daryl Gregory
- Narrated by: David Marantz
- Length: 12 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 1,540
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 1,370
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 1,373
In 1968, after the first zombie outbreak, Wanda Mayhall and her three young daughters discover the body of a teenage mother during a snowstorm. Wrapped in the woman's arms is a baby - stone-cold, not breathing, and without a pulse. But then his eyes open and look up at Wanda, and he begins to move.The family hides the child - whom they name Stony - rather than turn him over to authorities who would destroy him. Against all scientific reason, the undead boy begins to grow....
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5 out of 5 stars
-
You'll wish you lived as much as this undead boy
- By Maryland on 10-27-11
By: Daryl Gregory
-
Rise Again
- A Zombie Thriller
- By: Ben Tripp
- Narrated by: Kirsten Potter
- Length: 16 hrs
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 720
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 656
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 654
Filled with adventurous human drama-and shocking inhuman horror - Rise Again is a vivid and powerful debut novel of the zombie apocalypse.
-
4 out of 5 stars
-
SHE TOOK A SPATULA AND SCRAPPED HIS FACE OFF THE
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 04-13-17
By: Ben Tripp
-
The Brotherhood of the Wheel
- By: R. S. Belcher
- Narrated by: Bronson Pinchot
- Length: 14 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 2,273
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,117
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 2,113
In AD 1119, a group of nine crusaders became known as the Poor Fellow-Soldiers of Christ and of the Temple of Solomon - a militant monastic order charged with protecting pilgrims and caravans traveling on the roads to and from the Holy Land. In time, the Knights Templar would grow in power and, ultimately, be laid low. But a small offshoot of the Templars endure and have returned to the order's original mission: to defend the roads of the world and guard those who travel on them.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Epic Battle Brewing
- By Doug D. Eigsti on 03-29-16
By: R. S. Belcher
-
Superheroes
- By: Peter S. Beagle, Daryl Gregory, James Patrick Kelly, and others
- Narrated by: Oliver Wyman, Joe Barrett, Christina Delaine, and others
- Length: 17 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 169
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 149
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 148
Modern gods and goddesses, remote, revered - and like the pantheon of heroes and heroines of ancient myth - possessing great power tempered with flaws. Now, find within this anthology great tales by gifted and award-winning authors who move superheroes from the four-color panels of comic books to the fantastic pages of fiction, stories that will remind anyone who ever wanted to wear a cape or don a cowl of the extraordinary powers of the imagination!
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1 out of 5 stars
-
Pretentious tired old concepts
- By BookofJoy on 12-29-14
By: Peter S. Beagle, and others
-
Meddling Kids
- A Novel
- By: Edgar Cantero
- Narrated by: Kyla Garcia
- Length: 12 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 1,542
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,405
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 1,407
Summer 1977. The Blyton Summer Detective Club (of Blyton Hills, a small mining town in Oregon's Zoinx River Valley) solved their final mystery and unmasked the elusive Sleepy Lake monster - another low-life fortune hunter trying to get his dirty hands on the legendary riches hidden in Deboën Mansion. And he would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for those meddling kids.
-
2 out of 5 stars
-
should have been a YA novel
- By Bearded Barista on 08-20-17
By: Edgar Cantero
-
Allison Hewitt Is Trapped
- A Zombie Novel
- By: Madeleine Roux
- Narrated by: Piper Goodeve
- Length: 11 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 353
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 291
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 292
One woman's story as she blogs about - and fights back against - the zombie apocalypse.
Allison Hewitt and her five colleagues at the Brooks and Peabody Bookstore are trapped together when the zombie outbreak hits. Allison reaches out for help through her blog, writing on her laptop. It may also be her only chance to reach her mother. But as the reality of their situation sinks in, Allison's blog becomes a harrowing account of her edge-of-the-seat adventures.
-
1 out of 5 stars
-
lots of potential but disappointing
- By Linda B on 04-29-11
By: Madeleine Roux
-
Sandman Slim
- Sandman Slim, Book 1
- By: Richard Kadrey
- Narrated by: MacLeod Andrews
- Length: 10 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 6,017
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 5,367
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 5,376
When he was 19, James Stark was considered to be one of the greatest natural magicians, a reputation that got him demon-snatched and sent downtown - to Hell - where he survived as a gladiator, a sideshow freak entertaining Satan's fallen angels. That was 11 years ago. Now, the hitman who goes only by Stark has escaped and is back in L.A. Armed with a fortune-telling coin, a black bone knife, and an infernal key, Stark is determined to destroy the magic circle.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
jack bauer + spawn = sandman slim
- By Mike Naka on 11-03-12
By: Richard Kadrey
-
Gone
- Gone Series, Book 1
- By: Michael Grant
- Narrated by: Kyle McCarley
- Length: 17 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 894
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 797
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 799
In the blink of an eye, everyone disappears. Gone. Except for the young. There are teens, but not one single adult. Just as suddenly, there are no phones, no Internet, no television. No way to get help. And no way to figure out what's happened. Hunger threatens. Bullies rule. A sinister creature lurks. Animals are mutating. And the teens themselves are changing, developing new talents - unimaginable, dangerous, deadly powers - that grow stronger by the day. It's a terrifying new world.
-
2 out of 5 stars
-
Please rerelease this book w new narration
- By Kim on 02-12-17
By: Michael Grant
-
The Long Way Down
- Daniel Faust, Book 1
- By: Craig Schaefer
- Narrated by: Adam Verner
- Length: 9 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 1,573
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,452
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 1,452
Nobody knows the seedy underbelly of Las Vegas like Daniel Faust, a sorcerer for hire and ex-gangster who uses black magic and bullets to solve his clients' problems. When an old man comes seeking vengeance for his murdered granddaughter, what looks like a simple job quickly spirals out of control. Soon Daniel stands in the crossfire between a murderous porn director; a corrupt cop with a quick trigger finger; and his own former employer, a racket boss who isn't entirely human.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Urban fantasy noir. Done right..
- By Cliff on 02-19-15
By: Craig Schaefer
-
The Dirty Streets of Heaven
- Volume One of Bobby Dollar
- By: Tad Williams
- Narrated by: George Newbern
- Length: 15 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 998
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 907
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 913
Bobby Dollar is an angel - a real one. He knows a lot about sin, and not just in his professional capacity as an advocate for souls caught between Heaven and Hell. Bobby’s wrestling with a few deadly sins of his own - pride, anger, even lust. But his problems aren’t all his fault. Bobby can’t entirely trust his heavenly superiors, and he’s not too sure about any of his fellow earthbound angels either, especially the new kid that Heaven has dropped into their midst, a trainee angel who asks too many questions.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Angel Noir
- By Michael on 10-17-12
By: Tad Williams
-
Undertow
- By: Michael Buckley
- Narrated by: Jennifer Grace
- Length: 11 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 106
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 96
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 97
When Lyric Walker was 14 years old, her life was turned upside down when she witnessed a world-changing event - the arrival of the Triton, a five-nation race of warrior merpeople who walked out of the sea and camped on the beaches of modern-day Coney Island. Suddenly her neighborhood was home to a new minority group numbering in the tens of thousands. But the Triton's arrival also revealed a shocking family secret: Her own mother was a mermaid.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
I loved “Undertow” by Michael Buckley.
- By love2dazzle on 11-13-17
By: Michael Buckley
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STOP. You should not have touched this flyer with your bare hands. NO, don't put it down. It's too late. They're watching you. My name is David Wong. My best friend is John. Those names are fake. You might want to change yours. You may not want to know about the things you'll read on these pages, about the sauce, about Korrok, about the invasion, and the future. But it's too late. You touched the book. You're in the game. You're under the eye. The only defense is knowledge. You need to read this book, to the end. Even the part with the bratwurst. Why?
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5 out of 5 stars
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Vulgar Funny. 4.95 Sale Win.
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In a prosperous yet gruesomely violent near future, superhero vigilantes battle thugs whose heads are full of supervillain fantasies. The peace is kept by a team of smooth, well-dressed negotiators called The Men in Fancy Suits. Meanwhile a young girl is caught in the middle and thinks the whole thing is ridiculous. Zoey, a recent college graduate with a worthless degree, makes a reluctant trip into the city after hearing that her estranged con artist father died in a mysterious yet spectacular way.
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5 out of 5 stars
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This whole city is a butt that farts horror.
- By Claudia H on 03-03-16
By: David Wong, and others
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I'm Starting to Worry About This Black Box of Doom
- A Novel
- By: Jason Pargin
- Narrated by: Ari Fliakos
- Length: 12 hrs and 44 mins
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 821
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 779
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Outside Los Angeles, a driver pulls up to find a young woman sitting on a large black box. She offers him $200,000 cash to transport her and that box across the country, to Washington, DC. But there are rules: He cannot look inside the box. He cannot ask questions. He cannot tell anyone. They must leave immediately. He must leave all trackable devices behind. As these eccentric misfits hit the road, rumors spread on social media that the box is part of a carefully orchestrated terror attack intended to plunge the USA into civil war.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Can't believe someone would write this
- By Amazon Customer on 09-24-24
By: Jason Pargin
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Alice Isn't Dead
- A Novel
- By: Joseph Fink
- Narrated by: Jasika Nicole
- Length: 8 hrs and 44 mins
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 818
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 748
Keisha Lewis lived a quiet life with her wife, Alice, until the day Alice disappeared. After months of searching, presuming she was dead, Keisha held a funeral, mourned, and gradually tried to get on with her life. But that was before Keisha started to see her wife, again and again, in the background of news reports from all over America. Alice isn't dead, and she is showing up at every major tragedy and accident in the country. Following a line of clues, Keisha takes a job as a long-haul truck driver and begins searching for Alice.
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4 out of 5 stars
-
Great story, but conditionally recommended.
- By Hayley Lambert on 11-02-18
By: Joseph Fink
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Growing Things and Other Stories
- By: Paul Tremblay
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- Length: 11 hrs and 59 mins
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 343
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 295
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A chilling collection of psychological suspense and literary horror from the multiple award-winning author of the national best seller The Cabin at the End of the World and A Head Full of Ghosts. A masterful anthology featuring 19 pieces of short fiction, Growing Things and Other Stories is an exciting glimpse into Paul Tremblay’s fantastically fertile imagination.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Paul Tremblay is totally nuts.
- By Gary & Jay on 07-07-19
By: Paul Tremblay
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By the Light of Dead Stars
- Beyond the Lost Coast, Book 1
- By: Andrew Van Wey
- Narrated by: Tom Jordan
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 248
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When tragedy shatters 13-year-old Zelda Ruiz’s adolescence, she retreats with her uncle Mark to the bucolic town of Greywood Bay. But nothing can prepare them for the malignant terror that has long coveted these lands.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Troubled town torn apart by its secrets
- By Lori on 07-03-23
By: Andrew Van Wey
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John Dies at the End
- By: David Wong
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- Length: 14 hrs and 17 mins
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 9,462
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 8,561
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Story4 out of 5 stars 8,577
STOP. You should not have touched this flyer with your bare hands. NO, don't put it down. It's too late. They're watching you. My name is David Wong. My best friend is John. Those names are fake. You might want to change yours. You may not want to know about the things you'll read on these pages, about the sauce, about Korrok, about the invasion, and the future. But it's too late. You touched the book. You're in the game. You're under the eye. The only defense is knowledge. You need to read this book, to the end. Even the part with the bratwurst. Why?
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5 out of 5 stars
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Vulgar Funny. 4.95 Sale Win.
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In a prosperous yet gruesomely violent near future, superhero vigilantes battle thugs whose heads are full of supervillain fantasies. The peace is kept by a team of smooth, well-dressed negotiators called The Men in Fancy Suits. Meanwhile a young girl is caught in the middle and thinks the whole thing is ridiculous. Zoey, a recent college graduate with a worthless degree, makes a reluctant trip into the city after hearing that her estranged con artist father died in a mysterious yet spectacular way.
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5 out of 5 stars
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This whole city is a butt that farts horror.
- By Claudia H on 03-03-16
By: David Wong, and others
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I'm Starting to Worry About This Black Box of Doom
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- By: Jason Pargin
- Narrated by: Ari Fliakos
- Length: 12 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 821
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 779
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 779
Outside Los Angeles, a driver pulls up to find a young woman sitting on a large black box. She offers him $200,000 cash to transport her and that box across the country, to Washington, DC. But there are rules: He cannot look inside the box. He cannot ask questions. He cannot tell anyone. They must leave immediately. He must leave all trackable devices behind. As these eccentric misfits hit the road, rumors spread on social media that the box is part of a carefully orchestrated terror attack intended to plunge the USA into civil war.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Can't believe someone would write this
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Keisha Lewis lived a quiet life with her wife, Alice, until the day Alice disappeared. After months of searching, presuming she was dead, Keisha held a funeral, mourned, and gradually tried to get on with her life. But that was before Keisha started to see her wife, again and again, in the background of news reports from all over America. Alice isn't dead, and she is showing up at every major tragedy and accident in the country. Following a line of clues, Keisha takes a job as a long-haul truck driver and begins searching for Alice.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Paul Tremblay is totally nuts.
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When tragedy shatters 13-year-old Zelda Ruiz’s adolescence, she retreats with her uncle Mark to the bucolic town of Greywood Bay. But nothing can prepare them for the malignant terror that has long coveted these lands.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Troubled town torn apart by its secrets
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The Unnoticeables: A Novel
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Story4 out of 5 stars 755
There are angels, and they are not beneficent or loving. But they do watch over us. They watch our lives unfold, analyzing us for repeating patterns and redundancies. When they find them, the angels simplify those patterns and remove the redundancies, and the problem that is "you" gets solved.
-
3 out of 5 stars
-
Left wanting
- By Michelle L. Baron on 08-08-15
By: Robert Brockway
-
Das infernalische Zombie-Spinnen-Massaker
- By: David Wong
- Narrated by: Martin Baltscheit
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- Unabridged
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Overall0 out of 5 stars 0
-
Performance0 out of 5 stars 0
-
Story0 out of 5 stars 0
Möglicherweise leben riesige, unsichtbare Spinnen in euren Schädeln. Und das ist nicht irgendwie metaphorisch gemeint... Ihr werdet das als alberne Angstmacherei abtun. Aber etwas als Angstmacherei abzutun ist eines der ersten Symptome der parasitären Spinneninfektion. Ihr könnt die Spinne nicht spüren, denn sie kontrolliert eure Nervenenden. Ihr könnt sie nicht sehen, denn sie entscheidet, was ihr wahrnehmt. Ihr werdet nicht mal merken, wenn sie Eier legt. Und sie wird Eier legen.
By: David Wong
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Since We Fell
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 2,216
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,033
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Since We Fell follows Rachel Childs, a former journalist who, after an on-air mental breakdown, now lives as a virtual shut-in. In all other respects, however, she enjoys an ideal life with an ideal husband. Until a chance encounter on a rainy afternoon causes that ideal life to fray. As does Rachel's marriage. As does Rachel herself. Sucked into a conspiracy thick with deception, violence, and possibly madness, Rachel must find the strength within herself to conquer unimaginable fears and mind-altering truths.
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2 out of 5 stars
-
Wait ....
- By Ann on 05-17-17
By: Dennis Lehane
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The Art of Starving
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- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 118
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 107
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Story4 out of 5 stars 106
Matt hasn't eaten in days. His stomach stabs and twists inside, pleading for a meal, but Matt won't give in. The hunger clears his mind, keeps him sharp - and he needs to be as sharp as possible if he's going to find out just how Tariq and his band of high school bullies drove his sister, Maya, away. Matt's hardworking mom keeps the kitchen crammed with food, but Matt can resist the siren call of casseroles and cookies because he has discovered something: the less he eats the more he seems to have...powers.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Transformative book!
- By Uno Person on 01-01-20
By: Sam J. Miller
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Cursed Cocktails
- Tales of Aedrea
- By: S.L. Rowland
- Narrated by: Eric Jason Martin
- Length: 7 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 159
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 144
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 144
After 20 years defending the frozen north against some of the most dangerous threats in the nine kingdoms, Rhoren “Bloodbane” has finally earned his retirement. While the blood mage's service to the realm may have ended, burning veins and aching joints remain, and Rhoren soon learns that a warmer climate offers relief from his chronic pain.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Cozy book to have a cocktail with
- By A Murphy on 10-30-23
By: S.L. Rowland
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BuyMort: Grand Opening: How I Became the Accidental Warlord of Arizona
- Shopocalypse Saga, Book 1
- By: Damien Hanson, Joseph Phelps
- Narrated by: Wayne Mitchell
- Length: 16 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 487
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 361
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 361
After the arrival of the multiversal monopoly BuyMort, life got brutal. All systems were through BuyMort. All currency was through BuyMort. All sales were through BuyMort. You could resist, you could compete, but it didn’t really matter because in the end you used BuyMort—or you perished. BuyMort be praised. But not everyone’s happy with the new system. Some, even, want to see it destroyed. It’s quick. It’s convenient. And it will help people kill you and your family as readily as it will help them sell you knickknacks for a quick mortie.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Funny
- By Mandymomof3boyz on 05-20-23
By: Damien Hanson, and others
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Platoon F: Comedy Sci-Fi Bundle
- By: John P. Logsdon, Christopher P. Young
- Narrated by: John P. Logsdon
- Length: 42 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 3
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 1
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Story4 out of 5 stars 1
Captain Don Harr is being punished due to a mistake made by the military. He's basically "taking one for the team," even though he's doing so under protest. He has been physically altered, given a new identity, and placed in charge of the antiquated ship known as The SSMC Reluctant. His crew is full of misfits, including a by-the-book first-officer who dreams of one day becoming the captain of the ship, a surfer-type ensign who always has pervy thoughts on his mind, and an old-style engineering robot from the G33Z3R line who fittingly calls himself "Geezer."
By: John P. Logsdon, and others
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Tell Me What I Am
- A Novel
- By: Una Mannion
- Narrated by: Sophie Amoss
- Length: 10 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 18
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 16
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Story4 out of 5 stars 16
Nessa Garvey’s sister Deena vanished without a trace in Philadelphia in 2004. In all that time, Nessa has never once doubted what her instincts told her: her sister’s ex-husband has gotten away with an unspeakable crime. Nessa’s niece, Ruby, is raised by her father, the man Nessa suspects, in rural Vermont, on the shores of Lake Champlain. Ruby learns how to hunt, how the plants and trees grow, how to avoid making her father angry. The one question she longs to ask is the one she knows she cannot voice: What really happened to her mother?
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5 out of 5 stars
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Beautifully written!
- By Tracy on 08-20-24
By: Una Mannion
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In Times Like These: Mega Boxed Set
- By: Nathan Van Coops
- Narrated by: Neil Hellegers
- Length: 61 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 324
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 291
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 291
Can you outrun the past? Can you outlive the future? One time traveler must find out. Accidental time traveler Ben Travers is thrown into a multiverse of adventure in this action-adventure through past and future. This compilation includes: In Times Like These, The Chronothon, The Day After Never, and The Warp Clock. Now you can get them in one volume! All the adventure at a fraction of the price. Start your time travel adventure today, because yesterday may be too late!
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2 out of 5 stars
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Unfortunate
- By Kylee on 05-08-22
By: Nathan Van Coops
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Going Zero
- A Novel
- By: Anthony McCarten
- Narrated by: Marin Ireland
- Length: 9 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 402
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 355
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 355
Ten Americans have been carefully selected to Beta test a ground-breaking piece of spyware. FUSION can track anyone on earth. But does it work? For one contestant, an unassuming Boston librarian named Kaitlyn Day, the stakes are far higher than money, and her reasons for entering the test more personal than anyone imagines. When the timer hits zero, there will only be one winner…
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3 out of 5 stars
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Good Summer Quick Read
- By KS.Bainbridge on 05-10-23
By: Anthony McCarten
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Gut
- The Inside Story of Our Body's Most Underrated Organ
- By: Giulia Enders
- Narrated by: Katy Sobey
- Length: 7 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 4,643
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 4,050
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 4,007
Our gut is almost as important to us as our brain, yet we know very little about how it works. Gut: The Inside Story is an entertaining, informative tour of the digestive system from the moment we raise a tasty morsel to our lips until the moment our body surrenders the remnants to the toilet bowl. No topic is too lowly for the author's wonder and admiration, from the careful choreography of breaking wind to the precise internal communication required for a cleansing vomit.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Doctors opinion
- By KevinMcVeigh on 03-02-17
By: Giulia Enders
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I Keep My Exoskeletons to Myself
- A Novel
- By: Marisa Crane
- Narrated by: Bailey Carr
- Length: 8 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 121
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 103
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Story4 out of 5 stars 103
In a United States not so unlike our own, the Department of Balance has adopted a radical new form of law enforcement: rather than incarceration, wrongdoers are given a second (and sometimes, third, fourth, and fifth) shadow as a reminder of their crime—and a warning to those they encounter. Within the Department, corruption and prejudice run rampant, giving rise to an underclass of so-called Shadesters who are disenfranchised, publicly shamed, and deprived of civil rights protections.
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2 out of 5 stars
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visuals would be better
- By Ophelia Bee on 04-30-23
By: Marisa Crane
What listeners say about What the Hell Did I Just Read
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Reviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Dan Schmidt
- 10-20-22
I Love These Books and I Love Stephen R. Thorne
I really just have to say that Stephen R. Thorne does this series so much justice in his performances. I love the immature far out sci fi unintelligible mess of a universe Jason has created with this series and I think the narration and the voices Stephen lends to the characters and their conversations just tickles something in me that has me always returning to this series over years. Something about how he plays John and just the delivery of many punch lines is perfect to me and ill return to this series, im sure, always. These stories might not be for everyone, but as for a ride that'll grab you by the shirt and yank you through multiple dimensions, its certainly worth the trip.
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Richard
- 12-17-20
A middling entry in a fantastic series.
Worth reading, but not near as good as the previous two entries in the series.
I would not hesitate to recommend John Dies at the End or Spiders... but this one just wasn't as impactful to me..
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Anonymous User
- 05-21-18
just as amazing as all the rest 😊
cant wait for more. i will never get tired of reading these amazing stories! time to go check out the website!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Heather
- 02-08-19
what the hell
I love all of David Wong's books and you should too. whitty humor and fantastic writing
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- William Weaver
- 08-16-22
Great
all of David Wong's books are good. and if you have the time watch his movies on Netflix. they did a great job
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Canyon R.
- 06-21-20
Pretty good
These books are the perfect combo of horror and comedy, I highly recommend it for everyone.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- momtastic
- 11-02-18
Wonderfully ridiculous!
Lots of laughs. If you like off the wall crazy stories, this series is for you! Love all three books, John dies at the end, This book is full of spiders and What the hell did I just read.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance3 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Emmanuel Godoy
- 02-06-18
Great as always.
Super good and trippy. Love the Cosmic Mystery and Dick Jokes. It also contains scathing social commentary.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- MPass
- 03-20-18
Hilarious
Story is hilarious & not for the faint of heart. Some cussing but lots of supernatural references & so hilarious!!I’m hooked!!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- curtis
- 10-10-17
great book
great book another interesting sorry by David wong I would recommend this entire series
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