If you are enjoying listening to the book, please leave a review on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/review/create-review/?ie=UTF8&channel=glance-detail&asin=B0CYH7TMZ1

In this episode, Brian reads chapter 4, which details his back to back relationships with abusive narcissists. He describes the lovebombing that began both of those relationships, the trauma bonds that kept him stuck and the powerless way the relationships ended. Sex, power and shame were all at play, contributing to the dysfunction and despair he experienced during those two marriages.

In this episode:

00:02:17 Relationship Beginnings - Love Bombing 00:06:12 Abuse 00:09:47 Trauma Bonds 00:12:45 How Trauma Bonds Form 00:16:16 Cognitive Dissonance -Self Gaslighting 00:19:39 Shame and Fear 00:21:43 Relationship Endings

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If you are enjoying listening to the book, please leave a review on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/review/create-review/?ie=UTF8&channel=glance-detail&asin=B0CYH7TMZ1

In this chapter, Brian reflects on his struggles with codependency, which hindered his ability to form genuine connections with others. As a child, he learned to prioritize others' needs over his own, leading to a fragmented sense of self and difficulty understanding his emotions. As he navigated adolescence, he experienced sexual shame and a sense of unworthiness, further isolating him socially. He ended up passively accepting relationships with individuals who were also struggling emotionally, which often turned abusive.

A unique friendship with E, who shared similar struggles, provided safety but also enabled codependent behaviors. Reflecting on the friendship, the Brian acknowledges the complexity of their dynamic and the limitations of his codependent responses. Despite the challenges, the relationship taught him the value of intimate connections, planting a seed that would influence his understanding of healthy relationships in the future.

He then explores the many damaging relationships he has had with narcissistic individuals, highlighting the connection between codependency and narcissism, both stemming from trauma responses. While codependents seek safety by pleasing others, narcissists demand validation and entitlement. Narcissistic behaviors include grandiosity, entitlement, and lack of accountability. Brian's codependent tendencies made him susceptible to narcissists, excusing their abusive behavior. Different types of controlling behaviors are examined, with codependents managing emotions and narcissists asserting dominance aggressively.

Get your copy on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CYH7TMZ1

In this chapter, Brian discusses the connection between trauma and his codependent habits. His experiences, including childhood dynamics and an early, abusive friendship are explored as sources of trauma, shaping his behaviors and triggering ingrained responses to threats - specifically freeze and fawn.

Brian’s journey of navigating trauma extended beyond physical safety to encompass emotional survival strategies. Amidst consistent fear and shame at home and with his childhood friend, emotional avoidance developed as a coping mechanism. Through dissociation and compartmentalization, painful emotions were suppressed and buried, leading to a solitary and chaotic inner life. While these strategies initially offered relief, they ultimately perpetuated Brian's emotional turmoil, as the unresolved emotional pain continued to escalate, fostering a cycle of isolation and dysfunctional relationships.

In this episode:

00:01:07 What is Trauma? 00:03:13 New Layers of Trauma 00:05:58 Threat Responses 00:09:39 Emotional Trauma 00:14:27 Emotional Avoidance

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This season Brian will be reading aloud from the book we just published (link and description below). Chapter One frames codependency as learned, strategic, adaptive response to feelings of powerlessness, to emotional pain. It also covers the dynamics within Brian's family that gave rise to the codependent behaviors that would eventually cripple him emotionally and relationally for most of his life.

Buy now in paperback or eBook form: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CYH7TMZ1/

Based on the acclaimed podcast of the same name, follow Brian's transformative journey from codependency and despair to joyful, fulfilling and sustaining relationships. Gain guidance into examining your own life and crafting a personalized pathway to heal from codependency and trauma.

In Part 1 of his journey, Brian explores:

• The family dynamics in his childhood that set the stage for codependent habits.
• The long term effects of trauma, including its complex and chronic manifestations.
• Threat responses (particularly freeze and fawn) and the connection to the behaviors that make up codependency.
• The role of shame and fear in deepening his codependent habits.
• How his codependent behaviors fostered isolation and perpetuated dysfunctional relationship dynamics.
• The toxic interplay between narcissism and codependency, and the trauma bonds that ensnared him in relationships with abusive narcissists.

In Part 2, the re-making of a codependent mind, Brian describes:

• What is on the other side of codependency? Is it worth it?
• Healing from his emotional wounds by connecting with other people, repairing his emotional system and re-writing the stories of his life.
• How he finally broke the codependent habits that prevented him from having the emotionally intimate relationships that he always craved.
• Acquiring a new approach to romantic relationships.

This book is a beacon of hope for those seeking liberation from codependency's grip, providing both insights and practical guidance for the journey toward authenticity and connection.

Buy the book now on Amazon - https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CYB1K31V

Money talks, as they say, and in this episode we hear about the financial dimensions of Brian's codependency. For most of his life, money was not a tool for Brian to express his values and achieve his life goals; instead, it was fuel for his codependent habits - people pleasing, caretaking, lack of boundaries. His financial codependency, not surprisingly, did not lead to financial health; it lead to debt, stress and shame. Recovering from codependency also involved a recovery from financial codependency and we explore what it took for Brian to form a new relationship to money, one that has taken him to solvency and beyond.

00:01:18 Codependency and Money

00:03:36 Financial Caretaking

00:05:38 Self-Centeredness in Financial Codependency

00:06:09 Throwing Money at Problems

00:10:09 Unveiling Financial Shame

00:10:37 Narcissistic Entitlement and Money

00:11:06 Facing Financial Resentment

00:12:48 Post-Divorce Financial Codependency

00:15:43 Using Money to Avoid Abuse

00:16:24 Financial Caretaking as a Coping Mechanism

00:17:12 Rationalizing Financial Decisions

00:18:52 Fear and Shame in Financial Choices

00:21:54 Overcoming Financial Codependency

00:25:17 Processing Financial Shame

00:30:22 Aligning Money with Life Goals

00:32:43 Conclusion and Book Announcement

Thank you for liking, reviewing and following our podcast. It helps other people find us.

The paperback and eBook version of the first two seasons of this podcast are now available on Amazon - https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CYB1K31V

We have described codependency as an interpersonal relationship dynamic, but in doing so, we may have inadvertently left out a whole category of relationships in which codependency can manifest - relationships with our pets. In this episode, we discuss the pets that Brian has had (dogs and cats) and the ways in which his codependent behavior habits showed up in those relationships. We also reflect on possible connections between narcissism and pet ownership.

00:00:45 Dogs and Cats

00:03:53 Codependent Behaviors with Pets

00:14:02 Boundary setting

00:16:18 Narcissists and Pets

00:22:52 Genuine caretaking vs codependent caretaking

Do you have a pet story to tell? Let us know on instagram or Facebook. @codpendendentmind

Thank you for liking, reviewing and following our podcast. It helps other people find us.

Learn more about Nicole's coaching practice, Meaning in Medicine, here: https://www.meaninginmed.com/about

The Enneagram Test - free test. Be sure to select the "Classical Test." Read about your results through the Enneagram Institute here.

In this episode we explore the phenomenon of codependency within professional environments, particularly the healthcare field, with our special guest, Dr. Nicole Piemonte. A PhD holder in Medical Humanities, Dr. Piemonte has dedicated her career to the human facets of medical practice.

In this discussion, we delve into Dr. Piemonte's career origins and personal journey with codependency. She describes a prevalent pattern of trauma-induced codependency within the health sector, typically characterized by 'rescuing' and 'fixing' patients—a behavior that draws parallels with institutional people-pleasing and poses significant hindrance to effective care.

Further in the conversation, we examine how codependency—stemming from a deep-rooted need to be needed—leads caregivers to self-neglect due to their inherent desire to help others. Surprisingly, narcissism and codependency share this common root of trauma, offering a new perspective on the familiar trope of the narcissist physician.

Nicole sheds light on the falseness of the emotion-free detachment often seen in medicine. Arguing that compassion fatigue emerges from not feeling anything, rather than ‘feeling too much’, she emphasizes the role of emotional reconnection in aiding clinicians to regain self-contentment and fulfillment.

Nicole discusses how through supportive coaching and introspection, it's possible to replace these maladaptive coping mechanisms with healthier ones.

00:00:07 Exploring Codependency in Professional Spaces

00:10:26 The tendency to fix and rescue in medicine

00:14:03 Recognizing codependency in personal and work relationships

00:20:51 Caretaking and Codependency

00:23:11 Coaching and Reconnecting to Meaning and Purpose in Medicine

00:31:12 Reconnecting with Emotions and the Healing Path

00:33:11 Compartmentalization as a Life Strategy and its Consequences

Thank you for liking, following and reviewing this podcast. It helps others find it.

website: https://www.codependentmind.com/

The paperback and eBook version of the first two seasons of this podcast are now available on Amazon - https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CYB1K31V

In this episode, Brian and Stephanie talk with Rebecca about the emotional complexities of self-discovery and growth within the context of codependency. We discuss Rebecca's relationships, her struggle with being vulnerability, and the challenge of being authentic with others.

00:01:24 Little 't' and capital 'T' trauma 00:08:58 Lack of safety 00:11:10 Choosing between relationships 00:18:03 Setting boundaries 00:25:00 Asserting the self in a relationship 00:35:45 Parental models

Thank you for liking/reviewing/following our podcast. It helps other people find it.

Find us at: https://www.codependentmind.com/