The cruelest yetzer hara of our generation is that voice of 'being hard on ourselves.' Contrary to popular belief, this is NOT our own internal voice speaking negatively to us. Rather, it's our yetzer hara trying to get the best of us by putting us down. It's actually the voice of the yetzer hara (not our own internal voice) that is wreaking havoc on us by telling us that we are not good enough, in a variety of ways....we are too fat, lazy, our house is a mess, etc.

Nili Salem, a Torah teacher and a certified narrative therapist, shares with us some strategies to overcome this barrage of negativity. One tip she taught us was to:
#1. Identify a person who you love, admire, or care for.
#2. Imagine that the person your identified is going through exactly what you are going through and feeling exactly the way that you do. Think about what you would say to that person, and how you would say it (wording/tone of voice.)
#3. Most likely, you would speak in a compassionate way to that person. If so, speak to yourself in that same compassionate way. If you don't imagine yourself speaking to that person in a compassionate way, then do NOT speak to yourself in the demeaning way that you imagined yourself speaking to that other person.

Also, Nili reminded us that G-d is kind; everything about G-d is kind. So, if you hear a voice speaking to you in your head, and it's not kind, then it is NOT G-d. If it's not G-d, don't listen to it.

For further info, please email atrebetzins@gmail.com

Are you a single mother, widow or divorcee who dreads shabbos (shabbat)? Do you cry at the thought of having to spend shabbat alone, without your kids or anyone else to keep you company?

Yehudis Sherman felt the exact same way. After her divorce, she discovered, first hand, the loneliness that many women experience when they spend shabbat isolated from their families. In response to this situation, she created an organization called Mishpachtainu, to help other women, like herself, celebrate shabbat with joy, unity and the warmth of community. Mishpactainu is located in the Boro Park section of Brooklyn, but Jewish women from all over attend Yehudis' shabbat meals. She has a home that sleeps over 10 women, so out of town guests are welcome. Yehudis' shabbat table is beautifully decorated, and she cooks all different types of foods to accommodate everyone's diets (gluten free, etc.)

In addition to the shabbos meals, Yehudis offers a food pantry to provide women with basic household items from ketchup and napkins to tablecloths and makeup.

Mishpachtainu has helped many women make the turn around from lonely and depressed to supported and happy. They build a new network of friends from the women that they meet at Yehuds' shabbat table.

There is a significant cost in running Mishpachtainu. Yehudis is in need of financial donations, as well as donations of goods and services. For more information about the organization, and how to donate, visit

mightymoms.love

You can also donate via Zelle: donate@mishpachtainu.org

To learn more about Mishpachtainu, visit: https://www.mishpachtainu.org/

You can also email me, and I will put you in touch with Yehudis: atrebbetzins@gmail.com

Talking to your kids about sex might be embarrassing or uncomfortable, but it's an important topic, and we have to talk about it. The truth is that if we don't talk to our kids about sex, they are going to find out about it from other kids or other sources (possibly the internet.) We want our kids to know our values about sex, and learn the correct information, preferably from us.

Rebbetzin Dr. Hadassah Fromson, a sought after kallah teacher, sex therapist and counselling psychologist, helps guide us in talking to our kids about a subject that many parents find taboo. She suggests that parents talk to children about sex in bits and pieces, starting off at a very young age. She also encourages us to use the proper clinical terminology for our body parts. We need to feel comfortable using words like 'penis' and 'vagina.' Our kids need to see that we are being open and honest with them about the subject of sex. When parents are comfortable talking about a subject (any subject), it gives kids the confidence to feel that we know what we are talking about and that we are giving them factual information.

Rebbetzin Dr. Hadassah tells us that we should take cues from our children about what we should talk about. In other words, we need to be open to answering their questions, no matter how sexual and detailed they might be. We want to be the person that our kids come to about sex, and if we don't answer their questions, they will find out from somebody else. However, she cautions us to create boundaries. We are our children's parents, not their friends. Do not give them details about what happens in your bedroom. That information is private, just between the couple.

We need to respect our children as individuals and give them the answers to difficult questions. This way, they will be more apt to turn to us when they have an issue or a challenge, especially if they are being peer pressured to have sex.

Contact: atrebbetzins@gmail.com