The cruelest yetzer hara of our generation is that voice of 'being hard on ourselves.' Contrary to popular belief, this is NOT our own internal voice speaking negatively to us. Rather, it's our yetzer hara trying to get the best of us by putting us down. It's actually the voice of the yetzer hara (not our own internal voice) that is wreaking havoc on us by telling us that we are not good enough, in a variety of ways....we are too fat, lazy, our house is a mess, etc.

Nili Salem, a Torah teacher and a certified narrative therapist, shares with us some strategies to overcome this barrage of negativity. One tip she taught us was to:
#1. Identify a person who you love, admire, or care for.
#2. Imagine that the person your identified is going through exactly what you are going through and feeling exactly the way that you do. Think about what you would say to that person, and how you would say it (wording/tone of voice.)
#3. Most likely, you would speak in a compassionate way to that person. If so, speak to yourself in that same compassionate way. If you don't imagine yourself speaking to that person in a compassionate way, then do NOT speak to yourself in the demeaning way that you imagined yourself speaking to that other person.

Also, Nili reminded us that G-d is kind; everything about G-d is kind. So, if you hear a voice speaking to you in your head, and it's not kind, then it is NOT G-d. If it's not G-d, don't listen to it.

For further info, please email atrebetzins@gmail.com

Are you a single mother, widow or divorcee who dreads shabbos (shabbat)? Do you cry at the thought of having to spend shabbat alone, without your kids or anyone else to keep you company?

Yehudis Sherman felt the exact same way. After her divorce, she discovered, first hand, the loneliness that many women experience when they spend shabbat isolated from their families. In response to this situation, she created an organization called Mishpachtainu, to help other women, like herself, celebrate shabbat with joy, unity and the warmth of community. Mishpactainu is located in the Boro Park section of Brooklyn, but Jewish women from all over attend Yehudis' shabbat meals. She has a home that sleeps over 10 women, so out of town guests are welcome. Yehudis' shabbat table is beautifully decorated, and she cooks all different types of foods to accommodate everyone's diets (gluten free, etc.)

In addition to the shabbos meals, Yehudis offers a food pantry to provide women with basic household items from ketchup and napkins to tablecloths and makeup.

Mishpachtainu has helped many women make the turn around from lonely and depressed to supported and happy. They build a new network of friends from the women that they meet at Yehuds' shabbat table.

There is a significant cost in running Mishpachtainu. Yehudis is in need of financial donations, as well as donations of goods and services. For more information about the organization, and how to donate, visit

mightymoms.love

You can also donate via Zelle: donate@mishpachtainu.org

To learn more about Mishpachtainu, visit: https://www.mishpachtainu.org/

You can also email me, and I will put you in touch with Yehudis: atrebbetzins@gmail.com

Talking to your kids about sex might be embarrassing or uncomfortable, but it's an important topic, and we have to talk about it. The truth is that if we don't talk to our kids about sex, they are going to find out about it from other kids or other sources (possibly the internet.) We want our kids to know our values about sex, and learn the correct information, preferably from us.

Rebbetzin Dr. Hadassah Fromson, a sought after kallah teacher, sex therapist and counselling psychologist, helps guide us in talking to our kids about a subject that many parents find taboo. She suggests that parents talk to children about sex in bits and pieces, starting off at a very young age. She also encourages us to use the proper clinical terminology for our body parts. We need to feel comfortable using words like 'penis' and 'vagina.' Our kids need to see that we are being open and honest with them about the subject of sex. When parents are comfortable talking about a subject (any subject), it gives kids the confidence to feel that we know what we are talking about and that we are giving them factual information.

Rebbetzin Dr. Hadassah tells us that we should take cues from our children about what we should talk about. In other words, we need to be open to answering their questions, no matter how sexual and detailed they might be. We want to be the person that our kids come to about sex, and if we don't answer their questions, they will find out from somebody else. However, she cautions us to create boundaries. We are our children's parents, not their friends. Do not give them details about what happens in your bedroom. That information is private, just between the couple.

We need to respect our children as individuals and give them the answers to difficult questions. This way, they will be more apt to turn to us when they have an issue or a challenge, especially if they are being peer pressured to have sex.

Contact: atrebbetzins@gmail.com

Have you tried every diet? Keto? Paleo? Weight Watchers?
Have you spent hours at the gym, even hired a personal trainer?
Are you not able to lose weight, no matter what you do?

Tanya Rosen, founder of Nutrition by Tanya, is a nutritionist, life coach, and personal trainer who has helped hundreds of men and women lose weight and keep it off! She believes in balanced eating, and shows her clients exactly how to do it, according to their food preferences and how much weight they need to lose.

Tanya shares her own personal story about how she lost 50 pounds after her first pregnancy, and has maintained the weight loss ever since...even after have 4 more kids via C-section!

In my conversation with Tanya, she shares practical tips and tools for people to start losing and maintaining their weight today. Some tips that she offers include:

1. Weight maintenance is a lifetime commitment--it's not a one time diet, it's a healthy lifestyle change.

2. Get the right support group. You need to be around like-minded people who have the same goals as you, or are willing to support you as you move toward your goals. This could be friends, family, or even professional support. You need accountability.

3. Drink 8-10 cups of water per day. Or, if you prefer to know how many ounces you need to drink, take your body weight and divide by 2. This is how many ounces of water you need to drink per day. (For example, if you weigh 150 pounds, 150/2=75, so you need to drink 75 ounces of water per day.)

4. Drink 2 cups of water before every meal. This way, you eat fewer calories because you will be less hungry--water takes up space in your stomach.

To reach out to Tanya, please contact her through her website:
https://nutritionbytanya.com/

To contact the host of America's Top Rebbetzins, email: atrebbetzins@gmail.com

How do your survive domestic abuse? Maybe you are married to an abusive or neglectful person. Maybe you had parents who would yell, scream and/or hit you. Most people who are in abusive or neglectful relationships develop physical symptoms as a sign of their emotional trauma--thyroid issues, chronic fatigue, fibromyalgia, autoimmune illnesses.

Dr. Miriam Adahan, a psychologist, therapist, popular author, and founder of EMETT (Emotional Maturity Established Through Torah), has over 60 years of experience in counseling, lecturing and writing. In this candid interview, Dr. Adahan shares tools and practical strategies for surviving if you are in an abusive relationship. She also has tips and techniques for parents to teach their children about how to be resilient and stay emotionally strong, operating from the pre-frontal cortex (the smart brain), and not from the amygdala (the baby brain.)

The first thing that Dr. Adahan suggests to people who are (or have been) abused, is to recognize that you are a SURVIVOR. Understand that you were conditioned to believe that you were unworthy, but the OPPOSITE is true; YOUR ARE WORTHY.

Next, stop feeling like you are a failure--YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE!

Practice radical acceptance that you are in this situation/circumstance because Hashem wants you to be here right now (it doesn't mean forever, but for right now, this is where He wants you to be.) Say the DAYEINU prayer. (If you email me at atrebbetzins@gmail.com I will send you the prayer.)

Stay physically healthy--take multivitamins, Vitamin B with FOLATE (not folic acid), Vitamin D with K2. Stay away from sugar. You should exercise, meditate, and do breathing exercises.

Disengage when you are around your abuser--be nice and polite, protective of yourself and shallow in your responses (don't engage in an argument; don't take things personally), and be compassionate to yourself.

Dr. Adahan give us some tips from her book, Raising Spiritual Champs, Including Yourself! It can be purchased on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Raising-Spiritual-Champs-Hardcover-Miriam/dp/1614659370

This is the kids version of the book, called, Solution Champs:
https://www.amazon.com/Solution-Champs-Miriam-Adahan/dp/1614658099

Dr. Adahan talks about all these things and more! This conversation has so much information that is necessary for you to survive and THRIVE.

For further information, email me at atrebbetzins@gmail.com

Have you ever wondered how Chabad emissaries are chosen? Have you ever thought about why some Chabad emissaries go to places like Zambia, Nigeria or Peru? What are the challenges of opening a Chabad house, and what are the enormous benefits of being the person who kindles and rekindles Jewish souls?

Rebbetzin Rivky Herzel, co-director of Chabad-Lubavitch of Zambia (Africa), speaks about her experience growing up as the daughter of Chabad emissaries to Anchorage, Alaska. She also talks about why she and her husband decided to become emissaries themselves, and why they chose to serve the Jewish community in Zambia.

Rebbetzin Rivky talks about what is involved in running a Chabad center, the new kosher store that they are opening, and her monthly flights to the mikveh in South Africa because Zambia doesn't have a mikvah just yet.

Rebbetzin Rivky has a deep passion for touching the life of every single Jew, and it shows when she speaks about the events and programming that she does for the Jews in her community.

Currently, Chabad of Zambia is in the middle of a major fundraiser. They need funds to purchase a generator, since they now have no electricity or running water for up to 10 hours a day.It would mean so much if you would take a small part in their mission.You can donate here: Www.charidy.com/zambia

Contact: atrebbetzins@gmail.com

The teenage years can be a challenging time, both for kids and for parents...but there is a way to make things easier, and to actually create a great relationship with your teenager.

Rebbetzin Shifra Fried, Empowerment Coach and the rebbetzin of Young Israel of Bedford Bay, in Brooklyn, New York, shares with us that the real work begins by us parents working on ourselves. We need to love and value OURSELVES, BEFORE we love and value our teenagers. The way that we think and feel about ourselves reflects in the way we treat others, especially our children. We need to take care of ourselves and show ourselves compassion. Most importantly, we need to recognize who we are, which leads us to the question, 'Who are WE?' We are a divine piece of Hashem (G-d). We have a spark of divinity within us. When we recognize this divinity, this piece of G-d within ourselves, we begin to see it in others, including our children. When we learn to love and respect ourselves, we learn to love and respect our children. This is the turning point in our relationship with our teenagers.

Rebbetzin Shifra encourages us to approach our children with a loving energy. Teens can read our energy, even if our words don't match the energy we are giving off. We can be really angry and still have a smile on our face, but our teens know that something is off. We need to be ok with dealing with our emotions privately, without judging our emotions. We need to feel whatever it is that we need to feel so that we can process our emotions and not repress them. Once we are able to regulate our emotions, we are in a much better position to be able to smile at our teenager warmly, while also radiating that warmth.

We also need to listen to our children and acknowledge and validate their feelings. We need to hold back from fixing their issues, offering advice, saying 'I told you so,' and JUST LISTEN TO YOUR TEENAGER so that they feel heard and validated. If you have a teen that doesn't want to talk, remind them constantly that you love them and that you are always here for them. Even if they never talk to you about their challenges, feeling your love and them knowing that you love them makes a huge difference in their inner world.

If you would like to connect with Rebbetzin Shifra for her coaching or workshops, please visit: https://coachshifra.com/

Contact: atrebbetzins@gmail.com

What is it like to be a Jew in Peru? Do they have kosher food? A mikveh? A minyan? What do they do for Hanukkah? Purim? Pesach? Shabbat?

Rebbetzin Sara Blumenfeld, co-director of Chabad of Peru, talks about Jewish life in Lima, Peru. When Rebbetzin Sara, and her husband, Rabbi Zalman Blumenfeld, first came to Lima, there was no kosher food, no Hanukkah candles, no menorahs. In fact, there were terrorists instead. She describes living without electricity! From there, she helped to create and foster a Jewish environment that now has Torah classes for women and men, a large Pesach seder, parsha of the week sheets for both adults and kids, Hamantaschen for Purim, a mikvah, and other Jewish amenities that make being Jewish in Peru much easier than it has been in the past.

Rebbetzin Sara speaks about the purpose of the Chabad emissaries all around the world (including Peru). Their purpose is to wake up the Yiddishkeit of each Jew; to wake up the soul of a Jew. Rebbetzin Sara also emphasizes that everything we do is to bring Moshiach! May he come today!!

Contact: atrebbetzins@gmail.com