A leading clinical psychologist shares his thoughts about boarding school and compassion.

Some of the words Prof Paul Gilbert uses for boarding school are “nonsense”, “a ridiculous psychology”.

Professor Gilbert attended boarding school from age 11 through to 18 and shares what his experiences were like.

He also talks about his main work – Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT). He talk about what it is and how it differs from psychotherapy.

A brilliant and passionate episode...

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Prof Paul Gilbert, OBE is a Professor of Clinical Psychology at the University of Derby and the founder of Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT). He is also the bestselling author of Overcoming Depression and The Compassionate Mind. Professor Gilbert has published 23 books and over 300 academic papers and book chapters. As a leading researcher and practitioner, Paul’s groundbreaking work has provided compelling evidence for the role of compassion in understanding and alleviating our own suffering and that of others.

Questions for Paul:

1. I would love for you to share some of your journey. How did you get into the work you now do?
2. I would love for you to share about your childhood. What were your boarding school experiences like?
3. Did your childhood impact the work you went into?
4. Could you please talk us through Compassion Focused Therapy. What is it? And how does it differ from regular therapy?
5. I see that Nicola Petrocchi has done extensive research on CFT. What were the findings?
6. I also see that you have had conversations with Matthieu Ricard, the Buddhist monk (I love his book Happiness). What did you learn from these conversations?
7. What is the power of compassion?
8. Other areas to talk about:
   1. Understanding shame and self-criticism
   2. How Buddhist psychology influenced your work
   3. The science of compassion.
   4. The future of psychology

For more information about Paul's work: https://www.compassionatemind.co.uk/

Or to purchase his books: https://amzn.eu/d/c3N4Oib

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

What is the outer critic especially in terms of childhood trauma, complex PTSD and boarding school syndrome?

How does the outer critic come to the fore? And what is the outer critic's link to the inner aspect?

Today I wanted to offer some reflections about how this part of our psyche plays out.

I quote from Pete Walker and his book, Complex PTSD and also from Nick Duffell's Wounded Leaders and his take on dissociation.

If you have learned to dissociate from the unwanted parts of yourself you will have a tendency to project them onto others. “I am not the vulnerable, needy, wounded one, you are...”

Here is the podcast from last week about repressing emotions: https://youtu.be/qDmX4FfSF3U

And looking forward to the podcast with Professor Paul Gilbert going live this Friday.

Take care,

Piers

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

Repressing emotions is abuse.

Speaking with clinical psychologist Dr Nathan Baumann today we have a fascinating conversation about the psychology of emotions especially with men and boys.

He talks about how most emotions are not allowed and how that impacts society.

He also talks about what he feels about having no space for emotions like in a lot of boarding schools.

He feels it is emotional abuse.

A fascinating conversation. Very enlightening.

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Dr. Nathan Baumann is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist in Colorado. He has advanced specialization in integrated health care, health psychology, sleep disorders, substance abuse, and sports psychology. His research efforts have focused on health behavior changes over the lifespan and has advanced training in the interplay between physical health, mental health, and environmental factors.

Question for Nathan:

1. I would love for you to share some of your journey. How did you get into the work you now do?
2. The "boys will be boys" way of thinking about the behavior of young boys is holding them to a bar that is too low for them to grow. What needs to happen?
3. Processing and expressing emotions. What can we do to start processing and expressing in a healthier way?
   Learning how to process and express emotions is an important part of development - when we reduce boys to only a few emotions, this not only hurts their ability to get their needs met but also makes them less likely to be able to effectively participate in relationships and meet the needs of others.
4. What if these children were told that no emotions were okay?
5. What can we do as men to support boys?
   Men are often the worst offenders when it comes to setting and maintaining low expectations for boys - traditional masculine values do not include emotional intelligence or empathy as cornerstones of manhood, so they are often seen as a bonus rather than a requirement.
6. How do we hold men to a higher standard?
   Holding men to a higher standard is not erasing masculinity - it is correcting it. It allows for a wider experience of emotions, fewer demonstrations of intimidating anger displays due to a higher tolerance for unpleasant emotions, and overall fewer instances of isolation and improved mental health.
7. Other areas to talk about:
   1. Fathers
   2. PTSD and Complex PTSD
   3. Anxiety
   4. Stress management
   5. Depression
   6. Mood disturbances.

#mentalhealth #emotionalintelligence

For more information about Dr Baumann please visit: https://www.southpsychology.com/team/nathan-baumann%2C-phd

or email nathan.baumann@baumannpsychology.com

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/