On episode 226 of Ask Kati Anything, Kati addresses a range of complex mental health topics, including:

• The morality of suicide and assisted death for chronic illnesses
• Coping with anxiety around receiving compliments and kindness
• Moral responsibility for actions by individuals with severe mental illnesses
• Understanding and processing trauma and emotions
• Developing a sense of self after childhood trauma
• Breaking the cycle of narcissistic abuse and the importance of speaking up

Kati is a licensed therapist & provides insights and guidance on these challenging issues, offering a professional perspective while acknowledging the nuances and complexities involved in each situation.

Audience Question

1. Do you think suicide is selfish? And any thought on feeling like you're living not for yourself, but so that the people who love you won't be sad? I want to add this: Is it ever okay if you live with an illness like fibromyalgia or any other chronic condition where the symptoms are so unbearable? And is it different with terminal illnesses like cancer? 01:36

2. Sometimes I feel very anxious? Uncomfortable? like not sure what to do with myself when others say something nice to me or do something nice for me, especially for no particular reasons. I feel like I'm not deserving of it or like I have not earned it or that I can reciprocate it. So then I spend a lot of time thinking how... 17:21

3. Can people with severe mental illnesses be held morally responsible for things they did or ways they behave? There's a man on youtube named Daniel Larson, some may heard of him, he was a tik toker/youtube video vlogger who, according to documentation, has schizophrenia, autism, PTSD, and Bipolar. There could be more but I'm not sure. This man has seen a lot of online hate and harassment due to his behavior, which include: apparent attraction to underage people, delusions of fame and grandeur, a large sense of entitlement, and his physical violence towards his mentor when he had some kind of mental breakdown... 23:58

4. This may be an obvious question but what does it mean to 'process' an emotion or a trauma? I feel like this is a term we use a lot but no one really defines what it means. Are there prescribed steps that we need to follow? 30:54

5. Hi Kati I hope this question resonates with others but how do you know ‘who you are’ or have a sense of self if your childhood and adolescence was filled with multiple traumas and as a result the only constant in your adulthood is the side effects of the trauma. How do you become a person once you are already an adult? 40:40

6. My therapist said” By keeping quiet, you are allowing it to continue hurting you.” My mom is a narcissist. What the heck? I’m the “victim”! I don’t control her. I don’t choose anything she does to me. What is he saying? Sounds like he’s blaming me? 44:19

PUBLISHED BOOKS Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY Join Kati's PATREON community to access more perks: https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/ ONLINE THERAPY While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/kati (enjoy 10% off your first month) SOCIAL X: https://twitter.com/KatiMorton TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@katimorton Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/katimorton1/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/katimorton Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/katimorton1/ PARTNERSHIPS Linnea Toney linnea@underscoretalent.com

This week on Ask Kati Anything (ep. 225) licensed therapist Kati Morton explains how to stop intellectualizing and actually feel our feelings, and she digs into grief and how we can process it. Then she talks about why we can feel like our mental illnesses are made up or exaggerated because we haven’t had a trauma or big event, ways we can healthily express our anger, and how she defines an eating disorder relapse. Finally, she walks us through the ways she decides what’s the human condition and what’s a symptom of a mental illness. 1. How do I stop intellectualizing my feelings and feel them? 01:23 2. Hey Kati! I was curious if you could talk about grief as an emotion, and how to cope with it and ways to help process it. Before therapy, I could not name any emotions, and I’ve gotten so much better at it. In fact, unbeknownst to me, I’ve actually always been quite the adept feeler of emotions— in the sense that I can find them in my body, I can talk about how they feel and the directions they move within me and through me... 08:27 3. Hello Kati, I often feel my MDD and GAD diagnosis is not warranted and it's 'all in my head' because I have not experienced any major negative life events or traumas. This has prevented me from discussing the things that I believe could be contributing to my symptoms because they don't feel important enough... 25:16 4. Hi Kati, I was wondering if you could talk about healthy ways to express anger. I come from a culture where expressing anger is shameful, especially for women. So my anger is as scary as fire flames for me. However, I have noticed my binge eating is fuelled by my unexpressed anger. So, can you please teach me some techniques about handling anger. Thanks for all your amazing work. 34:13 5. Hi Kati! Hope you’re doing well. I am wondering how a relapse in an eating disorder is defined. Is there a clinical-based definition or is it more of a gray area? Does it mean meeting the diagnostic criteria for an eating disorder diagnosis once again... 40:47 6. How do you figure out what's just 'the human condition' or a personality trait and what's an actual symptom? 55:08 PUBLISHED BOOKS Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY Join this channel & access more perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCzBYOHyEEzlkRdDOSobbpvw/join ONLINE THERAPY While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/kati (enjoy 10% off your first month) SOCIAL X: https://twitter.com/KatiMorton TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@katimorton Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/katimorton1/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/katimorton Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/katimorton1/ Patreon: https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/ PARTNERSHIPS Linnea Toney linnea@underscoretalent.com

This week on Ask Kati Anything (ep. 224) licensed therapist Kati Morton talks about how therapists react when clients have breakthroughs, how we can fight hopelessness, and ways that we can more easily talk to a therapist of the opposite sex about sensitive topics. She then dives into why it can be hard for so many of us to feel and process emotions, how to deal with attachment in therapy, and why our attachment styles can vary so much. 1. Hi Kati, I'm interested to know when a client (who struggles to show emotions) starts to get upset, angry, emotional etc.. Do you internally but not visibly celebrate? A lot of people including myself hate seeing someone upset, although I'd never try to stop them expressing what they are feeling. 00:46 2. Hi Kati, How do you fight hopelessness when it feels like mental health has consumed your life. Even though I am not at the very bottom anymore, my psychiatrist told me there's a good chance I'll experience severe depression again and again (have had severe depression on a non-functional level in 2023 and 2014, but I'm improving with medication and back to work at my warehouse job). How do I feel like I am not doomed due to mental illness? 08:03 3. I see a therapist of the opposite gender and some topics are a little sensitive to talk about, any tips on getting started? 13:20 4. Hi Kati! After therapy sessions, I often struggle for days, unable to fully feel or let go of emotions. I intellectualize a lot, but I also have a constant feeling that there is something I’ve missed sharing. Why is it so hard for some of us to just feel and process emotions? Also, do therapists get frustrated when clients reach out outside of sessions but struggle to express themselves during sessions? 18:30 5. My question is about attachment problems starting from early life. I have this problem with my therapist that when he posts about his other clients who are similar age to me (he is a lot older than me) and how proud he is with them, I withdraw and leave. I think I'm so used to people leaving me for the “other” in any condition I have been in. Since I was a child my siblings preferred my cousins visiting us and my coping way was to live my life independently as they were ignoring me. 28:51 6. Hi Kati! I completed your attachment workshop, and it was extremely helpful! I have some relationships with people where I lean towards anxious attachment and others where I lean towards avoidant. More specifically, anyone who I feel is like a motherly figure, I get more anxiously attached, but with my family and friends I am avoidant. Would this still be considered disorganized attachment even though there isn’t necessarily “push and pull” within each relationship, and it’s more just operating in one extreme or the other depending on who it is? What would cause someone to have such different attachment tendencies in different relationships? 34:49 PUBLISHED BOOKS Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY ONLINE THERAPY While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/kati (enjoy 10% off your first month) SOCIAL X: https://twitter.com/KatiMorton TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@katimorton Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/katimorton1/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/katimorton Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/katimorton1/ Patreon: https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/ PARTNERSHIPS Linnea Toney linnea@underscoretalent.com

This week licensed therapist Kati Morton talks about whether or not we can be in therapy for too long, ways we can start seeing ourselves as survivors rather than victims, and when we should use coping skills versus sitting with the uncomfortable feeling. Finally, she discusses the ways we can open up more in therapy, finally share our trauma, and how to become more social and outgoing.

AUDIENCE QUESTIONS

1. Hi Kati! I have been in counseling/therapy on and off for the last 7 years. I have always been an advocate of therapy and I encourage other people to do it. However, lately I am feeling an aversion. I think that I am seeing it as a futile exercise. Which is probably due to shame about not breaking some of my self-sabotaging patterns. I have not lost the trust in the process, however, I have probably lost the faith in myself to do the work. How do I overcome that? 01:05

2. Hi Kati, recently I’ve been struggling to cope with having been sexually assaulted and groomed in the past. How do I go from seeing myself as a survivor, rather than a victim? 07:00

3. I’m obsessing over the thought that I’ve been in therapy too long. I started in 2019, and since then many life calamities have happened that greatly complicated the work I was trying to do. Big disruptions such as Covid, and more normal life issues - a spouse retiring, stressful personal health issues, a parent’s health scare, a big move, kids starting a new school, financial instability, essential home renovations while financially struggling, and now living in very close proximity to the family members responsible for the childhood abuse and neglect... 11:54

4. I was wondering when you should use coping skills versus sitting with the uncomfortable feeling. My therapist is using exposure therapy and says part of exposure therapy is not using things to calm my anxiety but rather sit with the feeling. By doing this, my body will learn that I am actually not under threat and the anxiety will decrease on its own. I don't want to be rude and question my therapist but it just doesn't make sense to me. I have been an inpatient, gone through a partial hospitalization program, and seen a few different therapists who have all stressed the importance of knowing and using coping skills. So now I am just confused. Any words of wisdom would be much appreciated. 21:36

5. I have been diagnosed with DID and have been seeing my therapist whom I love the past 2.5 years. Recently, I realized that he still doesn't know a lot of my trauma. My parts are really wanting to come out and tell him their story, but I keep blocking them and intellectualizing the details of the trauma. My parts just want to cry, but I am scared to let them. What can I do? This is really bothering me. 28:41

6. How do I become more social and outgoing? My entire life I’ve been shy and everyone around me has seen it as a huge flaw. Even my mom said to me when I was a kid that she wishes I was more like [insert extroverted friend’s name here]. I just find that my social battery drains so fast and I’m scared my friends are gonna get to the point where they don’t want me around anymore. That’s been happening to me my whole life and it makes me so sad. No matter how lonely I am, I can't seem to change myself. Any help would be so appreciated 36:46

PUBLISHED BOOKS Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY ONLINE THERAPY (enjoy 10% off your first month) While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/kati SOCIAL X https://twitter.com/KatiMorton TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@katimorton Facebook https://www.facebook.com/katimorton1/ Instagram https://www.instagram.com/katimorton Pinterest https://www.pinterest.com/katimorton1/ Patreon https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/ PARTNERSHIPS Linnea Toney linnea@underscoretalent.com

In this episode of Ask Kati Anything, your mental health podcast, licensed therapist Kati Morton explains what support a therapist can offer and how to know what we need from them. She also talks about chronic suicidality, dealing with frustration and anger, and why we can feel we are too late for everything we want to do in life. She also discusses how we can come to terms with a new diagnosis.

Audience Questions: 1. Not sure if you’ve ever answered this question, but what does it mean exactly when my therapist asks “what do you need, how can I support you right now?” Especially during a difficult session. This happened recently when I was struggling during trauma work and I had no idea what to say when she asked, or what my options were exactly...

2. Could you talk a bit about chronic suicidality? I know it’s a heavy subject but I have found there is very little information out there about starting to address or manage it. Thoughts of ending my life are comforting to me and I find I automatically go there in response to any uncomfortable or upsetting thoughts. As a result these thoughts can be almost constant. As much as they help me, I know they are unhealthy to rely on so much....

3. I have a question about frustration or rather anger. I’ve recently started therapy and in my last session I brought up the fact I was abused as a teenager… I had never told anyone about it until then. At the end of the session she told me that I may find I have a mix of emotions and possibly questions before our next session. She asked me to write them down and we could look at it when I see her again. I did have a lot of feelings, thoughts and questions so as she suggested I grabbed a pen and paper. I went to write stuff down but just felt this sudden anger, like really angry and I just gripped my pen and scribbled- like a toddler would only with a lot more frustration. It felt so childish. but after...

4. I would like to ask how can one cope with the feeling of "being too late in life", of having wasted all your life and now being too late to start over. I have failed in all aspects of life (no work, no family, no friends, nothing...) and I do not know where to start, how to find the strength and most important how to restore my "faith", how to stop thinking that the game is over. I was in therapy for many years but with no great results. Currently I need it so much but I do not have the money to support it. Ageism and society's standards do not help either...

5. I find myself thinking a lot about my therapist in between my sessions, not in a romantic obsessive kind of way, but rather constantly thinking how I can do better and communicate better with her. In my culture, growing up we were never taught about emotions, that they exist, how to pay attention to them, describe them, or deal with them. Parents are authoritative figures who provide all the necessities, have strong influence over all aspects of our lives such as schooling, romance, and career, but may not ever think to ask what we want or what we need...

PUBLISHED BOOKS Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY Join this channel & access more perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCzBYOHyEEzlkRdDOSobbpvw/join ONLINE THERAPY While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/kati (enjoy 10% off your first month) SOCIAL YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/katimorton

X: https://twitter.com/KatiMorton TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@katimorton Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/katimorton1/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/katimorton Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/katimorton1/ Patreon: https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/ PARTNERSHIPS Linnea Toney linnea@underscoretalent.com

On Ask Kati Anything, your mental health podcast episode 219, Licensed therapist Kati Morton talks a lot about trauma therapy this week. She dives into how to start our trauma work, if there is ever a thing as too much trauma for therapy, and why it can be so hard for us to change our minds. She then explains ways we can show our bodies compassion, whether or not we can actually erase memories from our mind, and what we can do when our eating disorder changes.

Audience questions:

1. Can you please talk about opening up to your therapist when you have a nervous laugh, dark humor and even darker trauma? I’ve only just started diving into my trauma in therapy but I don’t know how to properly articulate how everything is affecting me. I just laugh and make jokes because... 00:37

2. I've sought out two "Trauma based therapists" who have both told me they aren't equipped to handle my level of trauma. For reference, SA from ages 8-16ish with + preg & subsequent loss as a young teen, and Dissociation during that time. No DPDR, DID, etc. So what do you do when... 09:29

3. Why is it so hard for me to change my mind? I feel once I agree to do something for/with with someone I don’t feel like I can change my mind, I feel like sometimes this is due to not wanting to disappoint others.... 16:29

4. How can I show my body compassion…? I was approved to go to PHP at Center for Discovery in Southern CA. While I am grateful beyond belief that Medi/Medi is covering it, I have SO MANY mixed emotions…I’ve said before that I was born with Spina Bifida. From day 1 my body has not fully functioned, but I’m at the point where I’m probably on no less than 15 medications... 21:56

5. What are the chances I could [completely] erase some traumatic episodes from my memory? I do EMDR and it seems like we are searching for something with my therapist but at times I just feel like there isn’t anything there and I don’t have any specific memories of those traumatic events. I do remember facts of consistent systematic physical and emotional abuse, but not too many specific episodes that we could process in our sessions. My therapist also suspects... 26:19

6. How do I stop overeating sweets?! I was anorexic for a couple years and have physically “recovered” but now it seems that my eating disorder has gone in the opposite direction. I have meals, although sometimes minimal ones, and find that I eat / overeat foods that I'm ashamed of (usually sweets or junk food) when I'm alone and/or at night... 34:38

PUBLISHED BOOKS Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY A great way to support my channel is to check out our sponsors by using these links: Amazon: https://geni.us/4J8wb Instacart: https://instacart.oloiyb.net/y2j2GB ONLINE THERAPY While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/kati (enjoy 10% off your first month) SOCIAL X: https://twitter.com/KatiMorton TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@katimorton Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/katimorton1/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/katimorton Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/katimorton1/ Support on Patreon: https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/ PARTNERSHIPS Linnea Toney linnea@underscoretalent.com