Quotes

• “There is a producer who said, and it's kinda cruel, but they were like, "Remember when Mrs. Miler was dying for like 18 episodes and every episode was saying she was going to die this week and then she said no and kept living. Like what do we do?'" (15:51-16:03 | Christi)
• “You know I wouldn't know what an AMF is. I never even knew what LOL was until recently.” (21:54-22:00 | Kelly)
• “'I might just be allergic to something. You're allergic to Dance Moms. It's not your comfort show it's your trigger." (43:08-43:13 | Christi & Kelly)
• “Nevermind. I was going to say she's so nervy, but I'm about to be a giant bitch coming up so nevermind." (1:13:40-1:13:52 | Christi)

Links

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Thank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510

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"If we're being honest, you cannot script Abby," admits Christi as she tries to articulate why Dance Moms was such a success and Dance Moms: Miami only ran one season. It's one of the many topics discussed on this week's bonus Q&A episode! If you're a member of the Back to the Barre Patreon then you already know it's the best place to get your questions answered directly by Christi and Kelly, but not ever listener is a subscriber! We thought what better way to wrap up this 4th of July holiday weekend than to give the main feed a little taste of what they're missing with a whole Q&A episode!

What was the process like for filming dances? Were the dances really recorded twice, how did that work? Will the production ever release the unedited footage of Abby and Kelly's fight? Speaking of which, where did the girls go when fights were happening between the Moms and Abby? Were they whisked away and unaware of what was happening?

Tune-in to find out the answers to these questions and more!

Quotes

• “Because it's a holiday week... and there's a lot going on... and we didn't really want to watch Dance Moms! We both called each other cause we were supposed to be filming and, ugh, I didn't watched it yet!” (1:51-2:08 | Christi & Kelly)
• “Remember Brooke didn't know like half the things that happened with us and we didn't know half the things that happened with them. You know I think when we were fighting at the studio and they were around, they would take them to the bathroom I remember a lot.” (13:56-14:09 | Kelly)
• “You know my kids say I'm scary. Like when they would bring friends and boyfriends over they were always very quite and my kids were always like, 'They're afraid of you.' do you think they're afraid of you because of the show? Yeah! They're certainly weren't afraid of me in real life, I'm not scary.'" (21:49-22:03 | Christi & Kelly)
• “I need to know if there is something in the water in Pittsburgh cause there's some crazy bitches all in one condensed area. We are nuts." (40:00-40:07 | Christi)

Links

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Thank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510

Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiak

Follow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"This was the greatest moment in Dance Moms history as far as I was concerned." exclaims Christi since Abby is away "with her mother" and Gia is left in charge on "Gone, Abby Gone". There isn't even a Pyramid this week, how could this not be the best week ever? Cause Abby still found a way to make it awful! But most of that wasn't shown on camera, so prepare for a lot of 4th wall breaking to find out what really went down that Fourth of July weekend in 2013.

Kelly is contractually forced to bring her kids back to the studio. The show frames this situation as Kelly sneaking-in her kids while Abby is away, just to get Brooke that solo she 100% wants. This immensely upsets Leslie, who is convinced Kelly has it out for Payton and fears they will be kicked to the curb if Kelly returns. A feud begins to quickly fuel between the two moms, though Kelly doesn't have anything against Payton in reality, so it's rather one sided. Kelly takes the bold step to call Abby and request a solo for Brooke, to which Abby informs Gia that if Brooke is given a solo she'll be fired. Gia downplays the situation and gives Brooke a solo to practice, knowing what may come of it. To add insult to injury it's far and away the worst choreography Brooke has ever been given. When Abby calls in to give the Hylands a piece of her mind, she crosses a line with Brooke that suspiciously didn't make it to air.

Christi also takes the crown for "Worst Dance Moms Outfit". So tune-in to hear Christi relive the horror of it all!

Quotes

• “Paris Hilton's book... and she refers to us in there! Oh yeah, about how ugly our clothes are. It's not Dance Moms level ugly? Ok Paris fuck off! Shut up! I mean maybe...” (8:39-8:51 | Christi & Kelly)
• “Every time you show up Payton gets kicked back off the team. But that's not my fault. That's a TV show, there's only so many spots!” (26:23-26:29 | Christi & Kelly)
• “So you're in your white minivan with your bar of clothes in the back and they came up. Walk me through it. Were they like you need to ask for a solo? Absolutely. None of us wanted a solo. None of us wanted to even be back." (30:16-30:27 | Christi & Kelly)
• “Let's take a poll. Do you think it's hoodlum if you say the F-word or do you think you're a hoodlum if you break a beer bottle on someone's face?" (42:08-42:16 | Christi)

Links

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Thank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510

Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiak

Follow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"What do we do with [Broadway Baby]? Put a Big Mac inside of her!" jokes Kelly as after many months of waiting Abby finally is reunited with Broadway Baby's stuffed corpse on "The Dancing Dead". But as Christi and Kelly point out, it's pretty obvious that Broadway Baby got a bit more than a facelift at the taxidermist. While the show notes Baby has a new set of eyes, the fur looks remarkable whiter than when Baby was alive! If the fur isn't even Baby's... could you even call this Broadway Baby at all? Abby decides Baby needs a proper-Abby sanctioned tribute dance and bestows Nia with her first solo in many months, though with choreography that has Nia literally bouncing around on her butt it isn't exactly the comeback Holly hoped for.

Kelly makes her contractually mandated return this week as she "invites" the moms over to her house, with the exception of Melissa who is intentionally left out over her most recent actions over the break. While the moms can't convince Kelly to bring her kids back yet, she does "agree" to join the team on their trip to Xpression Dance Competition in Florida. Of course this doesn't sit well with Abby, who decides the best course of action is to block Kelly from sitting down during the show. Kelly responds in-kind by standing next to Abby for four hours, a full on Mexican standoff.

Elsewhere Kristie Ray begins to prep for Raising Asia and starts to stir the pot as best she can, even though as far as the other moms can tell she has no reason to do so!

Quotes

• “I swear to god I thought that was Abby. Just for a second I looked, did you see me get really scared? Oh my god I would die. Well they said she wasn't here not long ago. And you're like, 'Today?!' No not today.'” (4:53-5:02 | Christi & Kelly)
• “I say, 'I'm on the verge of needing a drink.' We're always on the verge of needing a drink. At this point I'm on the verge of needing it intravenous! Hey I got a port!'” (26:07-26:19 | Christi & Kelly)
• “They bring in broadway baby. That has new fur! That is not that baby's fur. No. I think it's like when someone switches a baby at the hospital, someone switched that dead dog!" (34:30-34:41 | Christi & Kelly)
• “If you ever want to see Kelly dance just AI her, cause she can't dance if there isn't choreography." (1:04:13-1:04:17 | Christi)

Links

Subscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w

Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarre

Thank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510

Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiak

Follow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"Crabapples? I wonder how many things we can say that's not Candy Apples? We really go for it." observes Christi as the second half of "Clash of the Dance Moms" boils down to quite a lot of name calling and not much else. This week the ALDC is competing at Believe National Talent Competition in Lancaster, PA with Payton and Leslie filling in for the Hylands. Leslie is gunning for a permanent position, dragging Kelly's name through the mud every chance she gets and keeps reminding eveyroen to imagine a world in which she's a permanent ALDC fixture. While the insults to Kelly are music to Abby's ears, the rest of the ALDC unsurprisingly feels different as the only thing Payton brings to the table is sass, and they already don't need more of that! Even Abby's patiences gets tested by Payton's when the young dancer is revealed to be unprepared with her costuming, something Kelly and her girls rarely ever dropped the ball on.

Anthony and Cathy continue to bicker over in the Candy Apples camp. Anthony threatens to leave if Cathy doesn't give him his space, he wants to insult her dancers as he sees fit. The show brings out Anthony's mother to admonish all those who would insult her son for his actions, expertly ignoring how vitriolic he is to everyone else. If there's one thing in Season 3 that continues to be annoying above all else it's Anthony being cruel and suffering no consequences for it!

Tune-in to find out which fight this week was A LOT more tense in-person.

Quotes

• “I just had another fraternity check-in next door. That's crazy. I don't understand why boys like pink houses. I don't know either. I'm telling you they're looking for Dance Mom Christi. They're gonna have to keep looking cause I'm not hanging out with fraternity boys. That sound illegal on a lot of levels.” (1:21-1:38 | Christi & Kelly)
• “I love that I'm not in this episode. I just get to listen to you be the bitch this whole time!” (21:42-21:46 | Kelly)
• “Anthony warns Cathy that he can just leave and that half of her team would follow him if he did. I highly doubt that they would leave a TV show to follow you." (27:27-27:36 | Kelly)
• “No the competition is not fixed, but every judge that's rating the kids liked our kids because they liked them on Dance Moms. So was it fixed? No. Was it fair? No!" (42:28-42:42 | Christi)

Links

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Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarre

Thank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510

Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiak

Follow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"We're not going to lose to that evil woman. I'm the only evil woman in your life. Well that's for sure." jokes Kelly while enjoying the fact she's still in exile during this week's episode. As "Clash of the Dance Moms" kicks off Abby is makes her disdain for Kelly's absence abundantly clear as Paige and Brooke are slotted at the bottom of the pyramid. With Kelly unable to criticize Abby, attention turns to Holly who is upset at Nia's middling placement on the Pyramid. Holly says she believes Nia is not receiving the attention from Abby that she needs to excel the way Abby insists that she wants, though Abby's attention is a double edged sword and our Bitches wonder if Holly isn't quite thinking through what might happen.

This week's competition pits the ALDC against Cathy and Abby is taking no chances. For the group dance Abby gets ambitious and choreographs a piece entitled "Open Waters" which will require a prop shoreline that the girls will have to dance around. If they're not going to use it why bother with the stress of it? The creative direction leaves the moms somewhat in the cold, and Kelly's absence continues to add to the confusion of the group direction. To fill in the Kelly filled-hole in the group, Abby brings in Leslie and her daughter Payton, which of course "excites" everyone! But with Black Patsy back on the Candy Apples side, it might be useful to have a little Leslie in your corner.

Quotes

• “Well I don't think you look sick. I think you look like a bitch. Why thank you. Thank you. I am Bitch #2!” (15:04-15:09 | Christi & Kelly)
• “I'm telling you like as somebody who was there you saw 1/100th of the fight. That fight was scary. (...) I really thought it was going to be physical. Like truly scary like physical.” (20:58-21:24 | Christi)
• “If I had a drink I would drink for contradiction. I don't have a drink! Ugh, well I'm not drinking that protein shot. Haven't opened it yet. Sorry, I'm ignoring all headbands because I do not want to drink that shit." (26:47-27:03 | Christi & Kelly)
• “So upstairs you and Holly comment on the group and how difficult it is trying to figure out what Abby is trying to portray. Yeah because it was stupid." (47:12-47:22 | Christi & Kelly)

Links

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Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarre

Thank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510

Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiak

Follow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"We're not three minutes in and I want to puke," groans Christi as Dance Moms moves away from recaps and back into the thick of it with "Recital Rebellion". It's time once again for the annual ALDC recital and, in the intervening weeks since filming, it seems that something has gone amiss because even before Pyramid begins its clear everyone is on edge. No one more-so than Kelly, who is immediately greeted with Paige being placed at the bottom of the Pyramid for a minor error. When Kelly points out Maddie wouldn't have been held to such a standard, Abby punishes Paige by making her the only child who has to learn a new solo for the recital. This outrages Kelly as it's a clear attack against her daughter, but Abby won't budge. Consequently Kelly pulls her daughters from the recital, resulting in Abby staging a scene demanding another child take Paige's place, which nobody wants to do (so of course she has Maddie take it).

Admits the prep for the recital Abby gifts the girls pieces from her new clothing line. Christi notes this is less of a gift and more of "Free Abby Promotion" with the girls as her billboards. The girls in turn also compete for the cover of Dance Track Magazine, which despite Abbys best efforts to skew the costume choices, doesn't go to a Ziegler for once! Plus can Jill make Pyramid with her own recital performance? Tune-in to find out!

Quotes

• “It's season 3 episode 30. It's fucking episode 30, like how many episodes is this god forsaken season?" (26:55-27:02 | Christi)
• “There's something coming up that I say and I would never say those words in my life. It was the stupidest thing I ever heard. I sound like a doofus when I say it. I'm like who wrote that? I must have been tired. Either that or drunk! I'll say it I'm drunk! Whatever you need me to say, can I go home?” (46:04-46:25 | Christi & Kelly)
• “You're out! Call the cops! Why? What did you do? Hey but I got a cute haircut! Look for the one with cute trendy haircut! It's really cute, long in the front and short in the back. Oh gosh now I'm going to be bald. It'll be like go find the bald lady.” (1:08:18-1:08:35 | Christi & Kelly)
• “I love that you said just improve. What?! How do I sign up for this kind of treatment? I know! Like where is the line? I wanna sign my name on it!” (1:25:07-1:25:19 | Christi & Kelly)

Links

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Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarre

Thank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510

Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiak

Follow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"We want to know how long it's going to take for somebody to come and try and arrest us. Wouldn't that be hysterical if we got arrested here? It would be a full circle moment and obviously about a decade in the making," our lovely Bitches observe as they reunite in person for a visit back to the old ALDC studio (wine bottle in hand and 100% not trespassing in any way) to cover Season 3's "Abby's So Far This Season..."

Yes, it's yet another another recap episode! Why wasn't this aired after the Chatter episodes instead of just one episode after resuming normal episodes? Your guess is as good as ours! These episodes aren't notoriously well liked, but this one does offer the rare opportunity to see extended dance sequences in full, which includes some of Paige's best moves that Lifetime never bothered showing the first time around.

Quotes

• “If I see Abby zoom by in her wheelchair while we're filming... It'll be the best day of my life. Yeah but it's also going to be the end of mine cause I'm gonna drop dead. I''m filming her. I will figure out how to work my phone, and I will not even let it be blurred!" (9:12-9:29 | Christi & Kelly)
• “[On SNL] the old Jojo and the new Jojo are talking about her being bad. She's like,"I was out all night doing bad things.'" That would be us! We're out there too Jojo. We're doing bad girls things right now except it's sunny not dark. We're daytime bad girls!” (23:12-23:38 | Christi & Kelly)
• “Abby says,"Jill what were you thinking? She is a member of this team. Jill, you need to act like a lady!'" Do ladies pour a tomato soup can in their Chinese beef and broccoli? Do ladies throw chairs at children? Do ladies empty out their purse and find weird cookies? Do ladies leave whole Big Macs under their chair? We could keep going, but we don't have that much time Christi!” (31:50-32:18 | Christi & Kelly)
• “Do you really think Gino really has what it takes to be Maddie's partner? I don't know but let Gino prove his dancing ability, he shouldn't be having his daddy doing the work for him.'" Have you seen Gino dance as an adult? ... I have no words. It's so fucking good, I cannot. (Proceeds to play video) It is one fo the best dances I've ever seen, so it's really funny when they say Gino needs to prove himself. I'm like dude!” (40:54-42:38 | Christi & Kelly)

Links

Subscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w

Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarre

Thank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510

Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiak

Follow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.