Episodes

  • Poem Meditation: by Ruth Haley Barton
    Aug 13 2024

    Listen as Kathy reads a poetic reflection called, "On Time" by Ruth Haley Barton, on the importance of slowing down and savoring life's moments. Consider this in your own practice of self care, or if you don't yet have your own, please feel free to use this as a starting point.

    Kathy: I just invite you now to think about the words of this poem and check in with your soul. It is called "On Time" and it's by Ruth Haley Barton:

    There have to be times in your life when you move slow. Times when you walk rather than run, settling into each step. There have to be times when you stop and gaze admiredly at loved ones, marveling that they have been given to you for this life. Times when hugs linger and kisses are real. When food and drink are savored with gratitude and humility, rather than gulp down on your way to something else.

    There have to be times when you read for the sheer pleasure of it, marveling at the beauty of words and endless creativity in putting them together. Times when you settle into the comforts of home and become human once again. There have to be times when you light a candle and find the tender place inside you that loves or sorrows or sings and you pray from that place. Times when you let yourself feel, when you allow the tears to come, rather than blinking them back because you don't have time to cry.

    There have to be times to sink into the soft body of yourself and love what you love simply because love itself is a grace. Times when you sit with gratitude for the good gifts of your life that get lost and forgotten in the rush of things. Times to celebrate and play, to roll down hills, to splash in water or make leaf piles, to spread paint on paper or walls or each other. There have to be times to sit and wait for the fullness of God that replenishes body, mind and soul. If you can even stand to be so full, there has to be time for the fullness of time or time is meaningless.

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    2 mins
  • Soul Care: Embracing Solitude, Silence & Stillness
    Jul 30 2024
    Summary Kevin and Kathy discuss the concept of 'soul care' and practices to nurture one's soul. Their discussion explores the importance of solitude, silence, and stillness as means to connect with one's inner self and find peace amidst the distractions and noise of daily life. Interspersed are helpful personal anecdotes, practical tips, and a poem that encourages slowing down and appreciating the present moment. Kevin Hi everyone, welcome back to another episode of Coping. We took off a few weeks ago, giving you all a vacation and we also took a vacation ourselves. Kathy Yes, and we thought it was a great time to begin a new series we're calling Summer Soul Care. I wonder, Kevin, what comes to your mind when you think about soul care? Kevin Well, I work in a hospital, and our department is called the spiritual care department. So I actually spend a lot of time thinking about spiritual care, soul care, and how to do that effectively, especially for those who are sick and in the hospital setting. So the first thing that comes to mind for me is something that's active, to make sure that when you care for either your own soul or somebody else's soul, it's an action that you do, a practice that you take, something that you offer that's tangible. Kathy Hmm. Yeah, that's a good and easy, practical way to think about it. And especially as we're thinking about our souls, we can link it to something that we'll be doing. So let's get started. Kathy So one of our favorite podcasters and authors, her name is Ruth Haley Barton. She writes this quote, I really love this thought provoking quote. She says, "losing your soul is sort of like losing a credit card. You think it's in your wallet or purse, so you don't give it much thought until one day you reach for it and you can't find it. Kathy The minute you realize it's gone, you start scrambling to find it, trying to remember when you lost it or last used it or at least had it in your possession. No matter what is going on in your life, you have to stop and look for it because otherwise there could be major damage done. Kathy Some of us know that we are losing bits and pieces of our souls every day and we are scared to death that we might be very close to going over an edge." So as a chaplain, how have you experienced this with those you serve? Kevin Yeah, this is something I help patients wrestle with on a daily basis. The reality is most people don't give a lot of thought to their spiritual life, to their souls. It's only when we are sick, when we are ill and in pain, that we look for strength and often look inward for that strength to be able to push through and to cope with whatever we're going through. Kevin And so what happens, like that analogy that's so vivid and so true about the credit card, if you haven't been investing into that fund, you don't have the funds to tap into on that card and that soul, then you find yourself not being able to use it when you need it most. Kevin And, you know, my belief is that we never lose our soul, we never go to a point where we don't have it. But if we're not investing in it, then it's certainly not going to be valuable to us when we perhaps need it most. And so when we encounter somebody who has deficient funds on their card or in their spiritual life, it's a chaplain's job to come alongside them and to help them tap into their strengths in their life, to help them connect to their faith practices, their rituals, the things that give their life meaning so that they could begin to cope with their illness and then find a pathway to healing that encompasses not just their physical body, but their emotional, spiritual mental selves as well. Kathy Yes, that sounds very practical and helpful. And like you said, it often doesn't happen until the body begins shutting down. A part of ourselves is not working, that we then begin to think about that. Kevin For sure that's exactly it. Whenever one part of ourselves feels deficient we tap into the other parts of ourselves to find what we're missing. I wonder for you as a coach where do you see this in the lives of your students? Kathy Well, I think they're like most people not thinking about their souls, like they don't have time to or they don't know what that looks like or what that means. And so if there's no awareness about soul care and practices, then you can't move forward. You can't, like you said, you won't have anything to show in those times where you need it the most. And so today we want to discuss the first three S's of soul care in hopes of beginning this discussion. Kathy So the first S is solitude. And we're going to define solitude as uninterrupted alone time in a distraction free environment. Uninterrupted alone time in a distraction free environment. It's kind of a joke where we think, what? Which environment is distraction-free these days? But what are your thoughts on solitude and how do you think that we can ...
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    18 mins
  • Oceanside: Meditation Vacation
    Jun 25 2024

    Summary

    In this short episode, Kevin guides you through a relaxing journey to an imaginary beach. Engage your senses by imagining the warm sand, blue sky, gentle waves, and refreshing ocean breeze. Immerse yourself as you create a place of tranquility that you can return to anytime you need.

    Kevin

    Now that the summer season is upon us, we could all use a vacation. Join me now in a meditation vacation. Before we begin, find a comfortable position, either sitting or lying down. I invite you to close your eyes and take a deep breath in through your nose, feeling your lungs completely.

    Hold it for a moment and then slowly exhale through your mouth. Let's repeat this a few times. Breathe in through your nose, hold it, exhale through your mouth. Breathing in, hold, exhale. Continue breathing now in a comfortable rhythm. And let's go to the oceanside.

    Imagine yourself standing at the shore of a beautiful beach. Feel the warmth of the golden sand beneath your feet. Notice how the grains of sand move gently between your toes and around your heels. The sand is warm, comforting, and grounding. As you stand here, take in your surroundings.

    The sky above is a brilliant shade of blue, with gentle white clouds drifting by. The sun is shining brightly on your skin. Its warmth envelops your body, making you feel at ease. Take a moment to listen to the rhythmic sounds of the waves as they gently lap against the shore.

    The ocean stretches out before you as a deep blue and turquoise. The sound of the waves are soothing; a natural symphony that calms your mind. Feel that gentle breeze blowing in from the ocean, carrying with it the faint scent of salt and sea.

    This breeze cools your skin, bringing refreshment as it rustles the leaves of nearby palm trees. Now, begin to walk slowly along the shoreline. With each step, feel the cool, damp sand beneath your feet.

    As you walk, notice how every so often a gentle wave makes its way to the shore, washing your feet up to your ankles. The water is pleasant and cool, a perfect contrast to the warmth of the sun and sand.

    As you walk, turn your gaze to the horizon, where the sea meets the sky. Notice the subtle changes in color, the way the blues blend into a beautiful gradient green. A few seagulls soar overhead, their calls echoing softly in the distance, enhancing the peaceful soundscape.

    Now, arrive to a spot where you feel comfortable to sit down. Feel the sand mold to your body, supporting you as you relax. Take a deep breath in and exhale. Let go of any remaining tension in your body.

    Allow yourself to fully embrace this moment of tranquility. Imagine yourself lying back on the sand, looking up at the sky. Watch as the clouds drift by, slowly changing shapes and sizes. Feel the warmth of the sun on your skin, and let it soothe any lingering stress or worry.

    Stay here for a while. Let the sights, sounds, and sensations fill you with a sense of calm and relaxation.

    Know that you can return to this place anytime you need to find peace. When you're ready, slowly bring your awareness back to your physical surroundings. Start by moving your fingers and toes and gently stretch your body.

    And let's take one last deep breath in and as you exhale, open your eyes. Notice the physical space around you and what's changed inside of you. I hope you're feeling refreshed and rejuvenated. May you carry this sense of calm wherever you go.

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    8 mins
  • Courage Quotient Quiz
    Jun 4 2024

    Summary

    This episode of “Coping” discusses the concept of a 'courage quotient' and presents seven acts of courage that individuals can rate themselves on, from 1 (weakest) to 7 (strongest). These acts include having a vision and dreams, seeing reality, confronting issues, accepting criticism, taking risks, being vulnerable, and following through on actions. Take time now to see where you stand, reflect on your strengths and areas for improvement regarding these acts of courage.

    Kathy

    When we talk about each act, I want you to think about on a scale of one to seven, one being the weakest, seven being the strongest, you're going to rate yourself to find your courage quotient.

    Kevin

    Number one: Do you have vision, goals and dreams? Then you may have the first act of courage. The courage to dream and to express it.

    Kathy

    So go ahead and rate yourself on the courage to dream.

    Kevin

    Number two: Do you have the ability to see truth and not have blinders on? Then you may have the second act of courage -- the courage to see reality.

    Kathy

    Rate yourself from one to seven on the ability to see truth.

    Kevin

    Number three: Do you have the ability to speak up? Speak truth to power and confront? Perhaps you have the third act of courage -- the courage to confront.

    Kathy

    What's your score on the courage to confront? Write it down.

    Kevin

    Number four: Maybe you are able to take critique and constructive criticism well. Then, you may have the fourth act of courage -- the courage to be confronted.

    Kathy

    Rate yourself on how well you can be confronted.

    Kevin

    Number five: are you able to step into the unknown and take risks? Then maybe you're able to exercise the fifth act of courage, the courage to learn and grow.

    Kathy

    How do you score on stepping into the unknown and taking risks?

    Kevin

    Number six. Perhaps you have the ability to be vulnerable with others, tell the truth of your story, and also ask for help. This exercise is the sixth act of courage, the courage to be vulnerable.

    Kathy

    Rate your vulnerability score now.

    Kevin

    And number seven. Maybe you have practiced the ability to step up and follow through. Then you are exercising the seventh act of courage, the courage to act.

    Kathy

    Rate your score for the seventh act of courage, the courage to act.

    So good job everyone. What's your overall courage quotient? As you score yourself, which act of courage came easiest for you? And which one do you need some work on this week? Thanks so much for joining us for another episode of "Coping", and whatever you may be coping with, blessings to you.

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    4 mins
  • Courage Quotient
    May 21 2024
    Summary This episode of “Coping” discusses the concept of courage and introduces seven daily acts of courage as outlined by Robert Staub in his TED Talk. Kevin and Kathy engage in a thoughtful dialogue exploring each of the seven acts and share personal experiences and insights on how these acts manifest in their lives as well as the importance of practicing courage daily. At the end, you’ll be given the opportunity to rate yourself on each act of courage to determine your overall 'courage quotient'. Kevin Oh, hi, everyone. Welcome back to another episode of “Coping”. Kathy Yes, welcome back, everyone. Today, we want to continue our discussion on courage that we started our last podcast. And I have a question for you, Kevin: would you consider yourself a courageous person? Kevin Well, based on our last podcast episode conversation, I've been rethinking my definition of courage, the models and myths that I've developed over the years. I would say that I am a risk taker. I like to take risks, I like that feeling of taking a leap of faith, and then that leap being met with some success or improvement. So I don't know if I would say I'm courageous, but I definitely am open to taking calculated risks. And what about you? Do you consider yourself to be a courageous person? Kathy I think the same applies to if I consider myself to be a creative person. The answer is traditionally no. But I think that if I look into my life, I see lots of acts of courage and risk-taking. So others would say that about me. So I think this discussion today is really going to widen and round out our view of what courage looks like. So let's get started. Kathy So as you all know, in a recent spring retreat, I shared about this topic of courage. And I also introduced executive leadership coach speaker Robert Staub, who did a 2016 TED Talk called Daily Acts of Courage. And there he talks about how we can practice small acts every day to strengthen the courage of our hearts. It's such an interesting concept. And there are actually seven everyday acts of courage we can all engage in every single day to build up our courage. Kathy So the first act of courage is the courage to dream and express it. Do you have visions, goals, and dreams, Kevin? How's that for you? Kevin Yes, ever since a young age, I was a dreamer, had big plans for my life, envisioned my goals and went after them. I would say I erred on the side of dreaming and didn't always have a plan to accomplish those dreams and goals. In our relationship, I'm definitely the dreamer, but you're the person that helps make those dreams and goals become a reality. So that's why I think we partner well together. What about you? How do you express your dreaming and goal setting in your life, knowing that you're a very practical person? Kathy So I would say, and I often say to students, it's okay not to be a dreamer, not to have a dream, but what happens though is that we do have to have a plan for our lives moving forward. And if you look into my life, you see lots of dreaming, lots of ideas being carried out. There's two sources. We have to tap into the sources of where our dreaming can come from. For me, it has been my faith, where I actively am listening. That would be the number one source. And the second place is for the needs of those people I serve, I'm always dreaming for them. And that is how the dream comes true for me. I personally still to this day don't have any dreams, but if I dream for those that I'm helping and serving, there's lots. And I can then take steps toward that, courageous steps towards that. So it's very untraditional. Kevin Yeah, and I think that that leads us to the second act of courage, which is the courage to see current reality. This is something that I see you do particularly well, especially for the students that you work with. Do you have the ability to see the truth and not have blinders on? How do you have that unique and innate ability to see current reality? How do you do that? Kathy This is a really hard one, especially in light of how difficult our experiences are, the world around us, the reality, the harsh reality that we all are living in right now. I think first of all is that the ability to see reality is to admit truth to yourself, to be open to truth. I think it's a gift. I think discernment is a gift that we are given. So I've had that from a young age, the gift to see things as they are. But that doesn't mean that I wanted to always step into that. There was a period of time in my life where I shut my eyes to the harsh reality and I lived in a fantasy world and a dream-like state of like, oh, everyone's helpful, everyone's nice, everyone has my best interest at heart. Kathy I don't believe that any longer, sadly. But I know that now we live in a broken world, but we're here to help redeem the broken places. So that helps me to embrace the truth of things because only...
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    21 mins
  • Peaceful Meditation: Felice St. John
    May 7 2024

    Felice St John leads you through a guided meditation focused on breath awareness, releasing negative thoughts or emotions, visualizing positive intentions, and allowing healing energy to flow through the body. The meditation aims to promote a deep sense of peace, relaxation, and connection with a higher power or life force. It encourages participants to let go of what no longer serves them and create space for new, positive experiences and desires. Enjoy! From Be Well to you.

    Felice St. John

    Sitting comfortably or lying down with your eyes closed, let's begin by becoming aware of the breath. Breathing in slowly through your nose and out through your mouth. Just taking your time to connect with your breath and be with yourself throughout this meditation.

    Feel the breath as it enters with a cool feeling and then warming as it gently travels down into the lungs. Fill the lungs with a deep inhale, bringing in energy, vitality, connecting you back to source energy, the life force, God, the universe.

    As you exhale, feel the body releasing toxins and stress and any negativity that has accumulated in your body. Stay with this breath, focusing on the feeling of deep peace, deep inhalations and exhalations at your own pace.

    Keep with your breath as we continue. What are you holding on to that you need to let go of and release? Conjure an image for that. See it clearly and then let it go. Maybe it's a specific image or a color or a feeling.

    Maybe you want to gently take that image from your mind's eye and crumple it up and toss it away to the side. Or maybe it's an image in a cloud and you want to give a big, deep exhalation and let that image just blow away.

    Feel the energy of release in your body and how that creates new space for a new image of where you are heading. See that image brightly and vividly in your mind. Become aware of the warmth and tingling of every cell in your body as you focus deeply on that new image, that new color.

    Feel it in your body. Look at that image in your mind's eye, focusing on it. Feel the energy that is in the extended environment in every part of nature and in every living thing that is working for you and for what you are creating space for.

    Bring all those energies together and feel them as one. Visualize all of that thriving energy shining brightly as the sun. Bring the shining glow of bright energy over the crown of your head. Let it hover there for a moment and then feel it starting to travel down into your body from the top of your head, slowly going down into your face and neck, traveling down into the shoulders, all the way down into your arms and down into your fingers.

    Feel that healing energy and light going down from your chest all the way down your back, your abdomen into your hips. And feel it continue traveling down your legs all the way down to your toes. Your whole body is now filled with divine healing light and energy, thriving energy.

    Allow that healing energy to completely fill any physical area that needs healing energy anywhere in your body. Feel it warming, healing and expanding through that area with a bright glow. Allow the healing light to bring peace and healing to any emotional issues or traumas.

    Let it fill the gaps where the old image took up space. Bring your awareness to any intentions or desires that you may have, to your new image, holding the thoughts of those intentions or desires as you allow the healing energy to bring your deepest desires to life and your intentions into reality.

    Feel your connection to divine energy and light and know that all is one. Stay with this deep, relaxing, peaceful feeling of bliss. Inhaling and exhaling slowly. Knowing that you are at peace and that you can tap into this peace anytime you need to, it is accessible to you.

    Take a few more deep breaths and when you're ready, you may slowly open your eyes. And feel this deep sense of peace that you carry with you.

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    7 mins
  • Courage: Models & Myths
    Apr 30 2024
    Kathy and Kevin discuss the topic of courage and explore its true meaning beyond the common misconceptions. Reframing the perception of courage as not just physical bravery but as the ability to stay true to one's desires and walk one's own path despite fears or external pressures is important on your path to becoming healthy. Kathy Welcome back everyone for another episode of “Coping”. Kevin That's right. So today we're going to talk about a new topic, something that we just explored in a recent spring retreat that you led. Kathy Yes, our spring retreat was titled, Take Courage. Kevin That's right. So I wonder, what comes to mind when we think of courage? What does that word mean? Kathy That's a great question. What do you think? Kevin Well, when I think of courage, I think about somebody who faces their fears. I also think about gladiators in ancient Rome, folks who were fighting for survival and showing brute force and physical strength, sort of like the idea that comes to mind for me. Kathy Yeah, there's so much to explore with this topic of courage. Let's get started. Kathy So, as we mentioned, our topic today is courage. A recent retreat was Take Courage. And when I did some research exploring the root of the word courage, I found something really interesting. So, the Latin word from courage comes from the word 'core'. And the earliest forms of the word, you know, courage had a different definition than it does today. Courage actually meant to speak one's mind by telling all one's heart. Kevin Oh, fascinating. I did not know that. So I guess that begs the question, how is courage related to telling one's story or, as the quote says, to speak one's mind and telling their heart? How are those things related to telling your story? Kathy Sure. So what I think is that the true definition of courage has to do with the ability of us being vulnerable and authentic in the telling of our stories. Kevin Say more about what it means to speak your heart. Kathy So I would say that when we speak our hearts, we're listening to what the truths are that we hold dear. But what often happens is the noise of our world clouds that out, other people's expectations, us wanting to people please, us not wanting to let others down. We don't get to live our truth because of all of the noise and the anxiety surrounding what other people want for us. But when we get to the core of what we actually desire and care about is being able to speak our truths. Kevin Hmm. What I hear you saying is that speaking your heart is getting honest with yourself about what your desires are, your hopes, your dreams are, as opposed to all the expectations, all of the outward distractions and things that pull us one way or the other, but to stay true to our path where we want to go, where we feel like we're being led. Kathy Absolutely. Has that been a struggle for you? Kevin I've definitely struggled with that I am the type of person that people pleases and lives a life seeking out external affirmation and wanting to please others around me and seeking that validation from others but in the in the times where I feel most discontent it's the times that I'm seeking the most external validation and approval from others and in the times where I've been most satisfied or have been most confident or have made the hardest decisions in my life and the best ones are the times that I decided to stay true to my heart to speak my truth and to walk that path. Kathy Mm-hmm, and that is the essence of courage is what you're describing Kevin I have a feeling there's some myths around courage. Can you tell us a little bit about some of the misconceptions and the myths surrounding the idea of courage? Kathy Sure, so the first myth that we often hear is, "I don't feel courageous." Kevin Right. Kathy And I can think back to times in my own life when I did courageous acts and in the midst of it, wasn't feeling particularly courageous or brave or strong, but I was still moving forward into those actions which others would describe as courageous. I wonder, I know that you have had many courageous acts in your life. Were you feeling courage in those moments and spaces? Kevin Hmm, In the times where I was appearing in the world as most courageous were the times that I felt like I had no other option, that I had to do the brave thing because it was the only thing I was faced with an impossible circumstance and was left with no other choice but to be courageous, that I had to face some of the challenges in my life and take them head on. I don't know if it was courage in my traditional understanding of courage of being brave and facing my fears as much as it was looking internally to my heart and coming to terms with what I wanted for my life and seeking that. So I think the definition that you described today, I would say yeah, I...
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    20 mins
  • Leslie's Story: Writing "Walking in Healing"
    Apr 2 2024

    Summary

    Kathy interviews Leslie on writing her memoir. She discusses her journey from journaling privately to publishing a book sharing her story and healing process. Listen to how the power of writing can transform your life.

    Kathy: So welcome, Leslie. My first question is, what prompted you to write your memoir, your own story?

    Leslie: Well, I love to write. I just, growing up, I didn't know what, exactly. I started when I was younger, like just writing in my journal, because I did not know how to express myself, so the only way I could do it is through journaling. And then I discovered later on that I just love writing. I wanted to write a devotional because I felt like devotions are so pretty. And so, you know, just something that takes, that I could write about God and not about me. But then once I started writing, the only thing I could write is my story and then God began to work there.

    Kathy: Well, you mentioned one obstacle already of wanting to write your own story. What other obstacles did you face in this project?

    Leslie: For sure, fear of a lot of things. But one thing that, because I started writing a few years ago, but I got stuck and the fear of being vulnerable. I felt that it was too much or too "out there". And I just was thinking of what if people say this or like just focusing on that and I didn't know how to be vulnerable.

    Kathy: And then how did you overcome that? Because I'll just get stuck there, right? We're like, oh, nobody cares about this or people are going to judge me or I'm telling too, it's TMI.

    Kathy: Yes.

    Leslie: I remember one day in particular that I was just wanting to write. And then, so I got it again and now I just kept writing. And at that very moment, God began to heal some of the things that I wasn't writing and I realized that I was being healed while I was writing. And I wanted to experience that and help someone else experience it. I knew that the smallest thing people can relate to. So I felt like if I just write this and one person can relate, then it'll be worth it, you know? I'll write about my life and about healing, but the healing part of writing this book was another level.

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    3 mins