In today's episode I will be discussing lack of accountability in relationships, why this happens and how this contributes to a negative cycle. If you have ever explained to someone how something they did to you hurt you and experienced them completely denying, disregarding or even blaming you for what happened, you may have experienced a lack of accountability. Victims of childhood trauma can spend lifetimes looking for and seeking accountability from abusers who will never give it. If the victim does eventually receive an apology , it can sometimes not even feel like the relief the victim was hoping it would be because that apology can end up really being for the person who inflicted the trauma and not for the victim and sadly, it may not remove the pain.

As an abuse survivor I know first hand what it is like to never hear the words “I am sorry” from an abuser, I also know what it is like to hear the words “I am sorry but….” followed by excuse after excuse from an abuser, and, I know what it is like for an abuser to remember a reality that couldn't be further from the truth - a reality in which they were the victim that never did anything wrong. It can make you feel like you made it all up, like you imagined it - it can make you spin looking for truths. It is important for you to know abusers do this intentionally, it is a well crafted manipulation intended to make you doubt yourself and your true memories of what happened to you.

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Until the next time - warmly yours,
Renata