Todays episode is an Introduction to the invisibility of abuse. You may be wondering what happened in my household and how the abuse I endured or anyone endures, can go unseen.

Most of us are familiar with the age-old adage - things are not always what they seem. In today's world we are surrounded by social media. For the most part, users control the way the world sees them and only share positive heavily filtered (literally and figuratively) views of their life on social media. Let's go back about 40 years ago, when social media did not exist. There were no cell phones, there was no internet or household computer then. Yet even then, things were not always what they seemed and could be filtered. This is the thing about human nature, most people will only divulge what will make them safe in a crowd and part of this is because of our primal need to fit in in order to keep us safe from threats. Our primitive brain is hardwired to keep us safe, so if presenting a life that is truthful could lead to rejection which in turn equates to the risk of dying due to predators or the outside elements, of course people are not incentivised to share the harder parts of life easily. These events can remain bottled up, never to be seen by the light of day until years pass and it bubbles over. This is exactly what happened to me.

Since starting this podcast I have had countless people say to me that they had no idea what I was going through, even when I was going through it. Their impression of my childhood was completely the opposite of what it truly was. They have shared that this podcast has been eye opening and hard to hear as someone that knew me during the time I was going through what I did. This has been said to me by both close family members and friends. I completely believe what they are saying, because, things are not always what they seem.

I have a picture of me as a little girl which you can find on my social media accounts. In this picture I would say people would comment that I look happy and healthy, I even look like my basic needs are being met. The thing is though, all of this could not be further from the truth.

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Until the next time - warmly yours,
Renata

This episode features an introduction to anticipatory fear - also referred to as fear of what is going to happen next or dreading the future and anticipatory anxiety,

If you have ever experienced worry about something that has not happened yet you have experienced anticipatory fear or anxiety. As a primal need to feel safe in the future, this fear makes complete sense. However, for some, this fear becomes debilitating and feels uncontrollable. In today's episode I will be discussing an introduction to anticipatory fear as it relates to unhealed trauma and the negative trauma cycle.

Support the Show.

Thank you for listening to todays episode! I would love to hear from you and to receive your questions and feedback.

You can reach me here:
Website
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Until the next time - warmly yours,
Renata

Video link to episode is: here
(https://youtu.be/HIe_IUu-R4k)

So what exactly is a critical illness?
A critical illness can be a progressive, degenerative or malignant condition that places a person’s life in jeopardy. It may also be a medical condition in which immediate medical support of vital organ functions is needed in order to survive due to severe illness or major surgery.

My story:
From about the age of 9 or 10 I remember getting dizzy at unexpected times and sometimes for great lengths of time. I remember swimming and suddenly the pool would look like it was rotating, but not fully. The pool would appear to start to move from left to right and then suddenly stop and the movement would start again at the left. This started to happen when I would lie down, when I would figure skate, when I would walk - anywhere and at any time. Then I started to get what doctors thought were regular bouts of the stomach flu. I would be so dizzy and throwing up so much that I would have to lie in bed for days and days and eventually, the symptoms would subside. It was not until I went on a ride over and over again at an amusement park and could barely walk after that I was sent to a specialist who discovered the tumor with an MRI. Two separate medical opinions confirmed that the tumor had to be removed within two months from the date it was discovered. It was benign yet growing and had been there for so long that liquid built up in my brain was becoming more and more dangerous.

Support the Show.

Thank you for listening to todays episode! I would love to hear from you and to receive your questions and feedback.

You can reach me here:
Website
Facebook
Instagram

Until the next time - warmly yours,
Renata