The world tells us over and over again that as a mom we have to “find ourselves” after having our children and that in order to properly do so we have to perform self-care.It is true that when we have our babies we go through a period of transition.“A first-of-its-kind study has revealed that the architecture of women's brains changes strikingly during their first pregnancies, in ways that last for at least 2 years. In particular, gray matter shrinks in areas involved in processing and responding to social signals. This may mean that new mothers' brains are more efficiently wired in areas that allow them, for instance, to respond to their infant's needs or to detect threatening people in their environments. The changes correlated with standard tests of a mother's attachment to her infant—and they occurred whether a woman conceived naturally or using in vitro fertilization.”-science.orghttps://www.science.org/content/article/pregnancy-resculpts-women-s-brains-least-2-yearsNot only do our brains go through these major changes but our bodies do too.For me personally I know my stomach and abs have changed, my hips have changed, my feet grew, my hair texture changed, my skin texture changed - not sure about you but SO MUCH changed.Body image is a whole other topic that we can discuss later but for now let’s stick to the meat of the matter - the lie that we lose ourselves.As Christians, our identity is not found in ourselves but in Christ.Ephesians 1:5 says, “he predestined us for adoption to himself as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will”I Corinthians 6:17 says, “But he who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with him.”Romans 6:6 says, “We know that our old self was crucified with him in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing, so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin.”Jeremiah 1:5 says, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you.”Not only does the Bible say over and over again that God chose us unto Himself, He specifically and intentionally created us individually and uniquely, but we are also His. We belong to Him.Romans 1: 7-8 says, “For none of us lives to himself, and none of us dies to himself. For if we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord. So then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord’s.”The Bible clearly says, “we are the Lord’s” and we are paid for through the blood that Christ spilled for us on the cross. We are purchased. We are adopted. These are amazing things!Why do we forget this so easily?I recently read in the “She Works His Way” book (highly recommend) that women are constantly reminded at seminars, sermons, devotionals, bible studies, you name it - that are identity is found in Christ and not in ourselves. Why is that? Why is that women forget this truth so easily?As a woman, when we get married our last name and duties change, when we have babies our bodies and duties change again, as our children grow up their needs change and therefore our duties change again. Our job as a wife/mom or even just as a single Christian woman is constantly changing.If we looked to our job to find our identity we would be constantly trying to recalibrate and constantly be lost. I think this is what’s happening personally.If we looked to being a mom to find our identity we would once again, be confused and disoriented since that is constantly changing and it doesn’t define who you are. It’s your job. Being a mom is our assigned duty from the Lord. He calls us to it.What defines us isn’t what we do but who we belong to.There’s so much hope in that!We are sinners and sin EVERY SINGLE DAY. Not a day goes by that we aren’t constantly sinning and in need of God’s matchless grace and to be reminded of the truth of the gospel.If we looked to our imperfect mothering methods for where our identity lies we would constantly be trying in our own strength to make up for it - to have a better identity. But that battle isn’t one we need to fight.Our identity is in Christ - that is who we are. Praise the Lord for that!I think that if we focused on where our true identity lies that we wouldn’t think we’re losing ourselves when we have our babies. Instead we would realize that the changes we’re going through are completely normal.The changes that our brains, bodies, and hormones go through are not only normal but they don’t change who we are.They don’t remove us from being in Christ.Even though the world tells us that we need to “find ourselves” after “losing ourselves” that’s just not true.We aren’t losing ourselves - we still belong to Christ but we are GAINING so much when we have our babies.
