Have you ever noticed how some firstborns tend to put a lot of pressure on themselves and others? Have you ever witnessed (or been in the shoes of) a daughter or son taking the role of a caretaker for younger and older relatives? Have you ever been encouraged to carry your family's legacy? or This could be linked to a relationship dynamic called parentification. Listen to this episode to this episode if you want to know:

• What parentification is and the way it impacts your professional and personal adult life
• Why some "responsible" children struggle to know what they want later in life
• Why Miriam decided not to pursue a career in medicine
• The mental shift that led Candace to decide to take Kizomba classes
• The meaning and negative impact of compulsive caregiving
• William Shakespeare's child and the pressure of carrying the family legacy
• The unhealthy dynamics behind trying to be the "pride"of the family
• Tips to free your future from the consequences of parentification

...And so much more!

If You want to send some feedback or just say hello, simply email us at hello@freeyourpeople.net!

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References:

• 14 Signs You Were Parentified as a Child https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/healing-together/202001/14-signs-you-were-parentified-child

• Self-awareness tests:

- https://www.16personalities.com/

- https://myquestionlife.com/self-awareness-test/

Website: https://www.freeyourpeople.net/

Instagram: www.instagram.com/freeyourpeople

TRIGGER WARNING: We touch on the topic of sexual assault and other topics that listeners might find difficult.

Have you ever felt stuck in your life, feeling like everybody is achieving more than you are? Have you ever felt shame about your background, your family, the way you were brought up? This could be linked to intergenerational trauma, listen to this episode to learn more!

You will learn about:

• Intergenerational trauma and how it gets passed down 
• Patterns of intergenerational trauma in our respective families (abandonment trauma and toxic relationships)
•  Intergenerational trauma affects us, friends, neighbours, colleagues and almost everyone in our communities
• Unresolved trauma as an explanation of the intergenerational “curse” seen in families
• Some lasting adult struggles that come from intergenerational trauma
• Choosing oneself, rejecting the family template and consciously choosing to create something healthier that what you received
• How doing the work of healing and freeing yourself from past trauma can heal the people around you

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If You want to send some feedback or just say ho, email us at hello@freeyourpeople.net

If you need support, please see the numbers below

International Association of Suicide Prevention: click on the continents to see crisis centres to reach out to.

USA: Distress & Lifeline: 1800 273 8255 Crisis Text Line: text HOME to 741 741 Domestic Violence Helpline: 1800 799 7233 Victim Connect: support for victims of crime: 855 484 2846 MTC program: maketheconnection.net/resources/spread-the-word

UK: Mind: mental health support: 0300 123 3393 SANE: mental health support: 0300 304 7000 Samaritans support network: 116 123 National Stalking Helpline: 0808 802 0300

CANADA: For a list of Canadian crisis centres: https://thelifelinecanada.ca/help/call/ 

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References:

Childhood Disrupted: When Your Biography becomes your Biology, and How You can Heal, Donna Jackson Nakasawa

It didn’t start with you, Mark Wolynn

Miriam Njoku’s blogpost on Intergenerational trauma

Candace Career Clarity exercise website

Free Your People website 

INSTAGRAM: @freeyourpeople

Episode 2 - Free Your Dating Life From the Influence of Your Unresolved Traumas

In this second episode of Free Your People, we will discuss how trauma influences our dating life and give some tips on how to enter the right relationship for you and feel fulfilled and connected in a relationship. You will learn: 

• The importance of self-awareness to avoid sabotaging your relationships
• Discovering you might not know yourself, your needs or what a healthy relationship
• How toxic relationships can be an opportunity to learn more about ourselves once we are out of them and choose ourselves
• Recognising we can be the insecure or toxic one in a relationship
• Why it is important to follow your intuition and do this on your own pace and not let family, community or society rush you into relationships that are not for you
• Why it is important to heal yourself so as not to bring toxicity into your relationships
• How relationships can be an opportunity to discover our triggers, heal from our past traumas if we do the work
• Accepting we don’t know what a healthy, loving relationship looks like and committing ourselves to learning a different way
• Why it is important to do the work to know ourselves better, what we stand for, our boundaries, love language, etc.
• Why it is important to prioritize taking care of ourselves and prioritizing our space and practise loving ourselves so that when we enter a relationship we can show the other person how we want to be loved
• Building community around us we can reach out to for compassionate advice, going to therapy when needed
• And so much more..!

Resources mentioned in this episode:

• The Five Love Languages, Gary Chapman
•  Miriam Njoku 
• Candace Career Clarity exercise website
• Free Your People website