Have you ever noticed how some firstborns tend to put a lot of pressure on themselves and others? Have you ever witnessed (or been in the shoes of) a daughter or son taking the role of a caretaker for younger and older relatives? Have you ever been encouraged to carry your family's legacy? or This could be linked to a relationship dynamic called parentification. Listen to this episode to this episode if you want to know:

• What parentification is and the way it impacts your professional and personal adult life
• Why some "responsible" children struggle to know what they want later in life
• Why Miriam decided not to pursue a career in medicine
• The mental shift that led Candace to decide to take Kizomba classes
• The meaning and negative impact of compulsive caregiving
• William Shakespeare's child and the pressure of carrying the family legacy
• The unhealthy dynamics behind trying to be the "pride"of the family
• Tips to free your future from the consequences of parentification

...And so much more!

If You want to send some feedback or just say hello, simply email us at hello@freeyourpeople.net!

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References:

• 14 Signs You Were Parentified as a Child https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/healing-together/202001/14-signs-you-were-parentified-child

• Self-awareness tests:

- https://www.16personalities.com/

- https://myquestionlife.com/self-awareness-test/

Website: https://www.freeyourpeople.net/

Instagram: www.instagram.com/freeyourpeople

TRIGGER WARNING: We touch on the topic of sexual assault and other topics that listeners might find difficult.

Have you ever felt stuck in your life, feeling like everybody is achieving more than you are? Have you ever felt shame about your background, your family, the way you were brought up? This could be linked to intergenerational trauma, listen to this episode to learn more!

You will learn about:

• Intergenerational trauma and how it gets passed down 
• Patterns of intergenerational trauma in our respective families (abandonment trauma and toxic relationships)
•  Intergenerational trauma affects us, friends, neighbours, colleagues and almost everyone in our communities
• Unresolved trauma as an explanation of the intergenerational “curse” seen in families
• Some lasting adult struggles that come from intergenerational trauma
• Choosing oneself, rejecting the family template and consciously choosing to create something healthier that what you received
• How doing the work of healing and freeing yourself from past trauma can heal the people around you

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If You want to send some feedback or just say ho, email us at hello@freeyourpeople.net

If you need support, please see the numbers below

International Association of Suicide Prevention: click on the continents to see crisis centres to reach out to.

USA: Distress & Lifeline: 1800 273 8255 Crisis Text Line: text HOME to 741 741 Domestic Violence Helpline: 1800 799 7233 Victim Connect: support for victims of crime: 855 484 2846 MTC program: maketheconnection.net/resources/spread-the-word

UK: Mind: mental health support: 0300 123 3393 SANE: mental health support: 0300 304 7000 Samaritans support network: 116 123 National Stalking Helpline: 0808 802 0300

CANADA: For a list of Canadian crisis centres: https://thelifelinecanada.ca/help/call/ 

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References:

Childhood Disrupted: When Your Biography becomes your Biology, and How You can Heal, Donna Jackson Nakasawa

It didn’t start with you, Mark Wolynn

Miriam Njoku’s blogpost on Intergenerational trauma

Candace Career Clarity exercise website

Free Your People website 

INSTAGRAM: @freeyourpeople

Episode 2 - Free Your Dating Life From the Influence of Your Unresolved Traumas

In this second episode of Free Your People, we will discuss how trauma influences our dating life and give some tips on how to enter the right relationship for you and feel fulfilled and connected in a relationship. You will learn: 

• The importance of self-awareness to avoid sabotaging your relationships
• Discovering you might not know yourself, your needs or what a healthy relationship
• How toxic relationships can be an opportunity to learn more about ourselves once we are out of them and choose ourselves
• Recognising we can be the insecure or toxic one in a relationship
• Why it is important to follow your intuition and do this on your own pace and not let family, community or society rush you into relationships that are not for you
• Why it is important to heal yourself so as not to bring toxicity into your relationships
• How relationships can be an opportunity to discover our triggers, heal from our past traumas if we do the work
• Accepting we don’t know what a healthy, loving relationship looks like and committing ourselves to learning a different way
• Why it is important to do the work to know ourselves better, what we stand for, our boundaries, love language, etc.
• Why it is important to prioritize taking care of ourselves and prioritizing our space and practise loving ourselves so that when we enter a relationship we can show the other person how we want to be loved
• Building community around us we can reach out to for compassionate advice, going to therapy when needed
• And so much more..!

Resources mentioned in this episode:

• The Five Love Languages, Gary Chapman
•  Miriam Njoku 
• Candace Career Clarity exercise website
• Free Your People website 

Candace is a career & business coach as well as an international consultant. Miriam is a writer, consultant and trauma recovery coach. The idea of this podcast emerged from the realisation of the extent to which the way they were raised has impacted their adult relationships, decisions, and the way they showed up in the world.  Coming both from contexts where these topics were not discussed, they hope to help people to connect the dots between childhood abuse and trauma with their adulthood struggles. By sharing personal stories, tools and tips, Candace and Miriam aim to create a space for others to heal, and contribute to destigmatizing mental health in families, in communities, in the corporate space and beyond.  

Music: Hard to Love by Katnip feat Emmi - Royalty Free Music

As career women and recovering workaholics who recently transitioned out of the corporate world, it only felt right to begin this  podcast with the topic of workaholism. In this first episode, we will discuss the emotional roots of work addiction, its manifestations and limits, as well as the ways to thrive in our career without crashing and burning. You will learn: 

• The surprising correlation between your relationship to work and your childhood needs 
• Why you may sometimes work hard and yet feel you are not achieving enough
• Why always making work your main priority only works short-term
• The causes and dangers of hustle culture 
• Why celebrities such as Kobe Bryant and the rapper Diddy started meditating and advocating for it
• How self-awareness and proper self-care can help you thrive and build a meaningful career
• How to figure out what you really want professionally and beyond
• And so much more..!

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Resources mentioned in this episode:

• How Will You Measure Your Life?  by Clay Christensen
• Honor Yourself Meditation, guided by Diddy on Audible -Free
• Kobe Bryant - The Power of Sleep & Meditation
• Will Smith opening up about the painful root causes of his ambition: “You can’t achieve your way out of your childhood wound and trauma”
• Are you a workaholic? Take the test! 
• Chained to the Desk (Second Edition): A Guidebook for Workaholics, Their Partners and Children, and the Clinicians Who Treat Them
• Coping with Trauma: Workaholism by Miriam Njoku 
• Candace Career Clarity exercise website
• Free Your People website