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What helps people feel more connected over time?

In this episode, Ryan and Vic revisit a theme from season two and take it deeper. Inspired by the Gottmans’ questions for emotional intimacy, they explore what it looks like to keep getting to know someone, even when you already know them well.

Together, they reflect on trust, vulnerability, shared dreams, personal values, love, and relationship fears. What unfolds is an honest conversation about being seen, feeling enough, remembering the small things, and why deeper connection is something we practice, not something we arrive at once.

This one is a real-time model of what it can look like to ask better questions and stay curious with the people you care about most.

In this episode, Ryan and Vic talk about:

• Why emotional intimacy needs ongoing attention
• The difference between surface conversation and deeper connection
• How trust is built through curiosity, care, and positive intent
• The values they learned from family and still carry forward
• What quality time actually means in different relationships
• Small gestures that make people feel seen and cared for
• Their biggest fears in close relationships
• Why these kinds of questions matter in friendships, not just romantic partnerships

Referenced in this episode:

• Season 2 episode: You Don’t Know Me Yet: Questions to Build Real Connection with Someone Else
• 75 Insightful Questions to Deepen Emotional Intimacy

Listener reflection:

• Who in your life would you like to know more deeply right now?
• Pick one question and ask it.

Hosts:

Ryan Reichert-Estes, StackRise Coaching | LinkedIn | Insta: @stackrisecoaching

Vic Smith, WhistleSmith.co | LinkedIn | Insta: @vic_bk

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Most of us are taught to chase things—roles, milestones, achievements—without ever naming the experience we’re actually trying to have.

An emotional goal flips that script.

When you know how you want to feel, it becomes easier to:

• make decisions
• adapt when things change
• release outcomes that don’t fully materialize
• and still feel fulfilled

Because the feeling—not the thing—is what you were after all along.

Join Vic and Ryan as they talk about how to find and lock in an emotional goal. they share personal stories, a framework to get you started and practical tips to bring it to life.

Resources:

The Emotional Wheel

Hosts:

Ryan Reichert-Estes, StackRise Coaching | LinkedIn | Insta: @stackrisecoaching

Vic Smith, WhistleSmith.co | LinkedIn | Insta: @vic_bk

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What actually makes a life incredible?

Not big moments.

Not Instagram highlights.

Not achievement for achievement’s sake.

In this episode, Ryan and Vic unpack what they really mean by “build the incredible life you deserve” — and why it has far more to do with foundations than outcomes.

If your life were a house… which part of the foundation is cracking?

In this episode, we explore five core building blocks:

1. Purpose – Direction, Not Pressure

2. Relationships – Belonging Takes Intention

3. Joy & Play – Not a Reward, But Fuel

4. Growth & Learning – Stay Open

5. Alignment & Integrity – The Tension You Feel Matters

—

Reflection Questions from This Episode

• What are you optimizing for right now: performance, approval, or meaning?
• Who do you feel most yourself around?
• Who knows what you’re actually carrying?
• What did you used to do just because it made you feel alive?
• Where are you leaking energy?
• What small boundary would bring you relief?

You don’t need to overhaul your life.

Pick one foundation.

Choose one small action.

Just start.

🎧 Listen now on our website or wherever you get your podcasts.

Prior GCY Episodes Mentioned

• Get Unf*cked: Your Are Not a Problem to Fix (A companion to this episode)
• Purpose: Define, Discover and Live Your Why
• The Energy Between Us: What Makes Relationships Meaningful with Susan Clark
• Let's Talk About Our Boundaries!

External Resources

• The School of Joy (schoolofjoy.co)
• Ingrid Fetell Lee’s TED Talk, "Where Joy Hides and How to Find It" and book Joyful

Hosts:

Ryan Reichert-Estes, StackRise Coaching | LinkedIn | Insta: @stackrisecoaching

Vic Smith, WhistleSmith.co | LinkedIn | Insta: @vic_bk

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Somewhere along the way, many of us learned to interpret discomfort, confusion, or lack of momentum as proof that something is wrong with us.

In this episode, Ryan and Vic challenge that assumption.

They unpack what it really means to get unfcked* — not by fixing yourself, but by recognizing when you’re simply under-resourced, not broken.

Together, they explore three core elements that are often missing when life starts to feel heavy or stuck:

• Clarity – not certainty or a 10-year plan, but orientation
• Direction – movement without needing to feel “ready”
• Autonomy – the right to want what you want without justification

You’ll hear personal stories, coaching reflections, and practical reframes to help you stop diagnosing yourself as the problem — and start asking better questions about what’s actually missing.

In this episode:

• Why confusion and discomfort are not character flaws
• How the “fix yourself” mindset quietly runs the self-help industry
• The difference between being broken and being under-resourced
• Why motivation follows action (not the other way around)
• What autonomy really costs — and why it’s worth it

Reflection questions from the episode:

• What are you assuming is a personal flaw that might actually be a missing input?
• If you didn’t need to be sure, what would you try?
• Where are you living someone else’s version of “enough”?
• If you assumed you weren’t broken, what would you stop apologizing for?

Key takeaway:

You don’t need fixing.

You need support, space, and permission to listen to yourself.

Hosts:

Ryan Reichert-Estes, StackRise Coaching | LinkedIn | Insta: @stackrisecoaching

Vic Smith, WhistleSmith.co | LinkedIn | Insta: @vic_bk

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Vic and Ryan kick of Season 3 of Go Coach Yourself!

They look back at the 2025 Season 2 and tease what is coming in 2026. They touch on Heated Rivalry, both the TV show and the books, their amazing 2025 guests, how they will double down on the tagline for 2026 and extend an invitation.

Their invitation: We want hear from you. We are looking for folks who want be coached, folks who want hear their issue or their challenge or their successes talked about. We want answer your questions and help you get unfucked to build the incredible life you deserve.

So reach out. You can send us a text message directly via the link below. You can reach out to either of us on LinkedIn or you can email us at hey@gocoachyourselfpodcast.com

Hosts:

Ryan Reichert-Estes, StackRise Coaching | LinkedIn | Insta: @stackrisecoaching

Vic Smith, WhistleSmith.co | LinkedIn | Insta: @vic_bk

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Every year, the holiday season invites us into a strange mix of celebration, reflection, chaos, joy, expectation, and—let’s be honest—just trying to keep it together long enough to coast into January with our sanity intact.

So this year, Go Coach Yourself! is offering a little gift: The 12 Days of Coaching, a playful redux of the classic “12 Days of Christmas,” reimagined as a short, daily burst of leadership wisdom to close out the year strong.

Instead of partridges, pear trees, and various types of birds no one actually wants, each day brings a micro-practice designed to help leaders reset, re-center, and re-enter the new year with intention. Think of it like a tiny advent calendar for your leadership brain—no chocolate, but way more satisfying.

Hosts:

Ryan Reichert-Estes, StackRise Coaching | LinkedIn | Insta: @stackrisecoaching

Vic Smith, WhistleSmith.co | LinkedIn | Insta: @vic_bk

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In this episode of Go Coach Yourself!, Vic and Ryan tackle the common urge to fix people's problems rather than hold space and truly listen.

Dive into the reasons why jumping into fixer mode doesn't work and hear about the importance of holding space and providing support without solving. Learn why your well-intended advice might backfire and how to create meaningful connections.

This episode has practical tips and empowering questions that help you show up in a way that supports and doesn't solve.

Links to articles:

HBR - What Great Listeners Actually Do

Psychology Today - How Unsolicited Advice Harms Your Relationships

Hosts:

Ryan Reichert-Estes, StackRise Coaching | LinkedIn | Insta: @stackrisecoaching

Vic Smith, WhistleSmith.co | LinkedIn | Insta: @vic_bk

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In this episode of Go Coach Yourself! hosts Vic and Ryan answer four reflection questions to close out the year meaningfully.

They explore overcoming challenges, building or breaking habits, feeling proud, and strengthening relationships by looking back on their year and focusing in on some key moments. Through personal anecdotes, they touch on themes such as the importance of action over motivation, dealing with physical injuries, improving sleep habits, and reconnecting with past colleagues.

They encourage you to use these questions not just at the year-end but any time for personal growth.

Four questions:

1. What is one challenge you have overcome this year and what did it teach you about yourself?

2. What's a habit you've built or broken that has improved your quality of life this year?

3. What is a moment from this year when you felt truly proud of yourself, what happened?

4. What relationship you have strengthened this year and what made it grow?

Two bonus questions:

- What's a meaningful act of kindness you've experienced or given recently?

- What's one thing you're grateful for this year that you might have taken for granted in the past?

Hosts:

Ryan Reichert-Estes, StackRise Coaching | LinkedIn | Insta: @stackrisecoaching

Vic Smith, WhistleSmith.co | LinkedIn | Insta: @vic_bk