Several years ago, my family and I got to raise a tiny caterpillar. For weeks, we hunted down milkweed to feed it. We watched it grow. And we saw it create its little chrysalis.

We even got the blessing of watching it come out of the chrysalis, and caught most of it on video. It was such a beautiful moment.

While our little pet didn’t have any major trouble, we’ve all heard, I’m sure, that if you try to help a struggling butterfly out of its chrysalis, its wings will never be strong enough to fly.

Well, there are times when that happens for us humans, too.

When we see someone who is struggling, our first instinct is often to jump in and help, but sometimes we do this to the other person’s detriment. It seems only a seasoned encourager knows when NOT to help. In other words, they know when to let the person do it for themselves.

While it appears heartless, selfish, or insensitive, it is really a deeper love than one might imagine.

Ecclesiastes 3:1 says, “For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven.” It’s followed by several examples. Perhaps the most relevant verses here are: “A time to embrace and a time to turn away… A time to tear and a time to mend. A time to be quiet and a time to speak.”

These things are all good–in their own time.

So, when is it a time to help and when is it a time to refrain from helping?

Let’s explore that together here on the podcast today.

Kari

>> Grab your copy of my Courageous Care book

http://lovedoesthat.org/care

RELATED RESOURCES + EPISODES:

· Jay Holland article/episode: Boulders, Backpacks, and Boundaries

· Book: Being There, by Dave Furman (Amazon affiliate link)

· Episode 43: When Helping Hurts: Establishing Boundaries When Caring for Others with Counselor Nicole Fryling

______

>> Free Journaling Workshop: 3 ways to encounter God on the pages of your journal

http://lovedoesthat.org/journalingworkshop

>> Journal Gently: An 8-week program designed to help you process grief and trauma with God

http://lovedoesthat.org/journalgently

Music by DappyTKeys

A new app popped up on my phone with one of the latest updates, and it's a journaling app! Did you get it, too? Did you try it? What do you think?

I confess, even though I do some digital journaling (which I’ll talk about later in the episode), I haven’t tried any sort of journaling app yet. But I know there are several journaling apps out there.

Have you wanted to check them out? Are you worried about the confidentiality of any of these apps? Do you think it might be cool to categorize your journal entries so you can find connected topics?

Let’s take a look at some questions you can ask yourself to discern if a digital journaling app might be a good fit for you, and if so, which one you might want to try.

Kari

RELATED EPISODES:

· Episode 137: 3 Easy Ways to Journal When You Don't Know What to Write About

· Episode 146: Introduction to Journaling: Creating Your Own Journaling Routine

· Episode 153: Can 5 Minutes Journaling Really Make a Difference?

______

>> Free Journaling Workshop: 3 ways to encounter God on the pages of your journal

http://lovedoesthat.org/journalingworkshop

>> Journal Gently: An 8-week program designed to help you process grief and trauma with God

http://lovedoesthat.org/journalgently

>> Grab your copy of my Courageous Care book

http://lovedoesthat.org/care

Music by DappyTKeys

In preparation for homeschool next year, I’ve been pre-reading some missionary biographies that we’ll be using for our history curriculum. And in the one on Amy Carmichael, it shared several times when she would spend the day in prayer, seeking the Lord on one question or another.

For example, should she build a house for the Bible study she led with the “shawlies”? Should she and her group of children move to this city or stay where they were? Was it time to build a nursery for the babies?

There are times when we might feel called to spend the day in prayer, too—seeking an answer for a specific question, like Amy Carmichael did, or interceding for a friend of ours, or even just wanting to be in God’s presence in preparation for a difficult season ahead.

But what does it really mean to spend the day of prayer? How do you go about it? Where do you go? What do you do? What does it look like?

It is my hope to offer you some practical tips and suggestions today so that you, too, might spend a day in prayer with the Lord.

Kari

RELATED EPISODES:

· Episode 56: How to Create a Personal Spiritual Retreat (And Reflections on My Own)

· Episode 83: Posturing Your Heart to Hear from God, Part 2: Recognize

______

>> Free Journaling Workshop: 3 ways to encounter God on the pages of your journal

http://lovedoesthat.org/journalingworkshop

>> Journal Gently: An 8-week program designed to help you process grief and trauma with God

http://lovedoesthat.org/journalgently

>> Grab your copy of my Courageous Care book

http://lovedoesthat.org/care

Music by DappyTKeys

When you are going through something like betrayal, depression, or deep grief, it can be hard to talk about what is going on inside of you. And I dare to say, there are times when talking doesn’t actually help the situation.

I remember when I struggled with depression in college, and every time I talked about it, it just seemed to make things worse. I felt alone. I felt like no one understood. I felt like I should be able snap out of it and move on.

Talking was not helpful to me. Have you been there?

There are times when, for some of us, talking about an experience we’ve been through just doesn’t seem to help. And it is to those specific situations that I will speak to today. What might cause this? And what can we do in situations like those?

So please keep the context in mind, and let’s ask God to guide us through this conversation and lead us to what we need to know.

Kari

RELATED EPISODES:

· Episode 49: Finding Your Stretcher Bearers: The People Who Can Help Carry You Through a Difficult Season

· Episode 51: Who Can I Trust? Distinguishing Between Safe and Unsafe People When You Need Help

· Episode 133: Can You Just Sit With Me? A Conversation About Grief with Natasha Smith

· Episode 154: [Journal Reviews] Guided Journals for Depression and Anxiety

______

>> Free Journaling Workshop: 3 ways to encounter God on the pages of your journal

http://lovedoesthat.org/journalingworkshop

>> Journal Gently: An 8-week program designed to help you process grief and trauma with God

http://lovedoesthat.org/journalgently

>> Grab your copy of my Courageous Care book

http://lovedoesthat.org/care

Music by DappyTKeys

When you are struggling with depression or anxiety, it can often feel heavy. Overwhelming. Hopeless.

The worries and fears you carry around can impact every aspect of your life. The sadness can overshadow every other thing around you.

I know, because I’ve been there. Have you?

And in addition to counseling or coaching or seeing a doctor, journaling has also proven quite beneficial for those experiencing depression or anxiety. There’s just something about getting things down on paper that allows you to express what’s stirring inside of you, to release some of the heaviness, or to adopt a more playful or curious attitude about something that feels very serious and heavy.

So today, I want to review five guided journals designed specifically for those experiencing depression and anxiety. I’ll share more about each one and how it is created so you can discern if it might be a good fit for you or a friend of yours.

Kari

>> 5-Minute Journaling Session for Anxiety

http://lovedoesthat.org/anxietyjournal

RESOURCES MENTIONED: (Amazon affiliate links)

Depression Relief Journal, by Maggie C. Vaughan

No Worries, from Bella Mente Press

My Anxiety Journal, by Sophia Joyce

Put Your Worries Here, by Lisa Schab

21-Day Prayer Journal for Anxiety and Depression, by Dr. Garrett Nogan

RELATED EPISODES:

· Episode 122: Feeling Anxious? Try This 5-Minute Journaling Session

· Episode 123: A Conversation with Marla Beech: Journaling as a Daily Practice

· Episode 135: Identifying Signs You're Not Doing Well (And What You Can Do About It)

· Episode 142: [Journal Reviews] Guided Journals and Devotionals for Advent

· Episode 147: The Flip-Out Rule in Journaling

______

>> Free Journaling Workshop: 3 ways to encounter God on the pages of your journal

http://lovedoesthat.org/journalingworkshop

>> Journal Gently: An 8-week program designed to help you process grief and trauma with God

http://lovedoesthat.org/journalgently

>> Grab your copy of my Courageous Care book

http://lovedoesthat.org/care

Music by DappyTKeys

It wasn’t that long ago that I led my Journal Gently Mini Workshop, and during that time, I led women through three different journal prompts that focused on perspective.

And here’s the kicker: I only offered five minutes for them to write about each one.

But you know what? So many of them were surprised at how much they were able to cover in only five minutes.

And I want you to discover that, too.

Today, I want to address the myth that we have to journal for twenty or thirty minutes for it to have any impact on our lives. The truth is, five minutes can make a huge difference.

Let’s talk about why, and then let’s explore some ways to get that five minutes to write, even when life is hectic.

Kari

>> Free Journaling Workshop: 3 ways to encounter God on the pages of your journal

http://lovedoesthat.org/journalingworkshop

RELATED EPISODES:

· Episode 118: Tips for Journaling In Front of Others

· Episode 137: 3 Easy Ways to Journal When You Don't Know What to Write About

· Episode 146: Introduction to Journaling: Creating Your Own Journaling Routine

______

>> Journal Gently: An 8-week program designed to help you process grief and trauma with God

http://lovedoesthat.org/journalgently

>> Grab your copy of my Courageous Care book

http://lovedoesthat.org/care

Music by DappyTKeys

Have you ever had someone offer some sort of support or help to you that you didn’t necessarily want, but you didn’t know how to say no without hurting their feelings?

When you are hurting or struggling or need some extra help, you do get to have a say in the matter. You can choose which counselor you want to meet with. You can decide which friends to confide in. You can determine which activities are healthy for you and which ones are not. You look at what’s available to you and make a choice.

In short, you have the power to choose.

Not everyone is going to understand your choices, and that’s okay. The important thing is that you are letting God lead you in those decisions and that you are staying close to Him. You don’t want to make decisions out of guilt or fear or because you’re mad at someone. But you do want to make smart, healthy, God-honoring decisions when you are hurting. And sometimes that means saying no to someone else.

Today, I want to help you learn how to politely decline an offer of help—especially when it comes from someone you love.

Kari

>> Grab your copy of my Courageous Care book

http://lovedoesthat.org/care

RELATED EPISODES + RESOURCES:

· Episode 11: How to Ask for Help When You Need It

· Episode 49: Finding Your Stretcher Bearers: The People Who Can Help Carry You Through a Difficult Season

· Episode 70: What to Do When You Don't Have Anyone to Encourage You, When It Seems No One Cares

· Episode 78: Tips for When You're Afraid of Being Misunderstood

______

>> Free Journaling Workshop: 3 ways to encounter God on the pages of your journal

http://lovedoesthat.org/journalingworkshop

>> Journal Gently: An 8-week program designed to help you process grief and trauma with God

http://lovedoesthat.org/journalgently

Music by DappyTKeys

Have you ever wondered what it was like to experience a spiritual direction session? What happens? What do you talk about?

While some coaches will air live coaching sessions, I can’t very well do that, for two different reasons. One, I don’t do live spiritual direction sessions, since I focus on written spiritual direction. And two, spiritual direction is often deeply personal, and many women would hesitate to air that in front of an audience.

But I still want to help you get a glimpse of what written spiritual direction can look like. So today, I am going to share with you some letters that a client and I have written to each other.

Cindy has graciously given me permission to share these, and to use her real name, because she has experienced the power of spiritual direction in written form, and she is passionate about helping others experience that, too.

I invite you to pay attention to anything that it stirs up in you: any questions, any desires, any beliefs. Write those down in your journal and talk about them with God.

Kari

>> Sign up for Written Spiritual Direction

http://lovedoesthat.org/spiritualdirection

RELATED EPISODES + RESOURCES:

· Episode 33: Written Spiritual Direction: How Letters and Messages Can Create Space for God

· Episode 66: [Written Spiritual Direction Session] Loneliness

· Episode 87: [Written Spiritual Direction] When Temptation Comes Your Way

______

>> Free Journaling Workshop: 3 ways to encounter God on the pages of your journal

http://lovedoesthat.org/journalingworkshop

>> Journal Gently: An 8-week program designed to help you process grief and trauma with God

http://lovedoesthat.org/journalgently

>> Grab your copy of my Courageous Care book

http://lovedoesthat.org/care

Music by DappyTKeys