We’re back in the kingdom of HO-HOs and Lititz, PA. Yes, that’s right, the SOFA Kingdom, to be exact. This time, joined by the royal family as Sofa Queen also joins us on spectator duty while the King and I have our jolly time. That being said, these stories were random as all hell but also fun as all hell and I blame all of that on Sofa King - he’s just that kinda guy. He read through my list, he checked it twice, he found these ones to be the weirdest and I’m just along for the ride. The same way you’re along for the ride. Well, not the EXACT same, but you get my point. Buckle in - we’re going places. Are they fun places? Not really. They’re dangerous and weird. But we’re INTO that. RIGHT? Right.

10 Years as an Escort and this was Not in my Job Description(40:53)

I Found a USB Stick AKA The Long Face(1:10:29)

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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage.
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Thank you!

“Astral Alley“ is not my song. I do not claim ownership.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.

I meant to sing a little song to Scutch when I saw him a couple months ago and recorded this episode but I forgot. Of course, it’s because I got too drunk and because I was too excited to talk to him about Game of Thrones and Aliens. You know, the usual. Why wouldn’t I be excited about that, Scutch is one of my favorite people on the show because of his life experience and perspective on things and talking to people about Aliens(and Game of Thrones) tells you a lot about a person; Like, for example, if they suck or not. As you know or as you’re about to see, neither myself nor Scutch MacGee suck. We’re realistic and fun and think that Game of Thrones was ruined by two directors and their egos and that aliens absolutely exist and we’re just here for it. Any aspect of it, really. We’re here for all the tall and short fuckers out there as long as they’re spying on us, keeping us in check on a galactic level, and not being overtly weird about it. That would be hella awkward. We might actually care, then. Good thing we don’t. Good thing we care MORE about how much Game of Thrones sucks than about the existence of other life forms being 100% confirmed by our government. Yeah, that checks out. Here’s some stories:

A Mist Between Blue and Grey(1:29:47)

This is Not a Place of Honor(1:41:04)

The Real Reason my Husband Shot Himself(1:55:58)

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YOUTUBE:
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(But also available on all major platforms like iTunes, Spotify, Google, Amazon, etc!)

FOLLOW ON FACEBOOK:
www.facebook.com/LPCaptainDeath

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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage.
Follow: @cryo-chamber
Thank you!

“Astral Alley“ is not my song. I do not claim ownership.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.