You’re not bad at communication—you’re just missing a few critical skills.

In this episode of Marriage IQ, we’re joined by Dr. Greg Smalley (Focus on the Family) for a powerful conversation about why couples keep miscommunicating—and how small shifts in how you speak and listen can radically change your marriage.

From misunderstood questions and defensive responses to old conversations that keep resurfacing, we explore why saying “we’ve already talked about this” rarely works—and what to say instead.

You’ll learn :

✨Why communication breaks down even in loving marriages

✨How defensiveness blocks listening and fuels conflict

✨The role of curiosity in better conversations

✨How to repair communication after hurtful words

✨What emotionally mature couples say when things get tense

If you’re stuck in the same arguments, feel unheard, or don’t know how to talk without it escalating, this episode gives you language, clarity, and hope.

🌐You can find Dr. Greg Smalley and learn more about their work at https://www.focusonthefamily.com/

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Nicole Kidman had all four of our Marriage IQ Cornerstones… so why did the marriage still fall apart?
In this surprising episode, Heidi and Scott unpack what really sustains a relationship—from identity and intentionality to integrity and authenticity—using Nicole & Keith’s story as a springboard (with zero judgment… only compassion).

We talk “astroturfing” vs. real intimacy, why compromise isn’t the goal (collaboration is!), the dangers of parallel lives, and how even strong marriages can lose their roots.

If you want a scintillating, real, deeply connected marriage—not just one that looks good from a distance—this episode is for you.

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In Part 2 with Rick and Clancy Denton—hosts of The Loud Quiet—we dive into the beautiful, hilarious, and sometimes overwhelming realities of empty-nest life. From learning to coach (not control) your adult kids, to resisting the Mama-Bear rescue mission, to navigating the emotional squeeze of the sandwich generation, this episode is packed with relatable moments and marriage-strengthening wisdom.

You’ll hear stories about:
✨ Letting your kids feel their own emotions (even when yours flare up)
✨ Setting marriage-protecting boundaries
✨ The myth vs. reality of empty-nest freedom
✨ Grief, guilt, caregiving—and how couples stay connected through it all
✨ Why insight may be your new best friend in the empty nestWhether you’re approaching the empty nest, living in it, or feeling squeezed between parents and kids, this conversation will help you rethink how to thrive together in a brand-new season.

🌐You can find Rick And Clancy Denton and learn more about their work at :⁠⁠ ⁠https://www.theloudquiet.com/⁠

𝔽𝔹 The Loud Quiet community - ⁠https://www.facebook.com/groups/theloudquiet ⁠

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What happens when the kids leave and it’s just the two of you again? Rick and Clancy Denton decided not to survive the empty nest years—but to thrive in them. In this funny, real, and refreshingly honest episode, they share how rediscovering each other brought new laughter, adventure, and connection into their marriage. Whether you’re nearing empty-nest life or already in it, this episode will help you see this season as your most exciting yet.

🌐You can find Rick And Clancy Denton and learn more about their work at :⁠ ⁠https://www.theloudquiet.com/

𝔽𝔹 The Loud Quiet community - https://www.facebook.com/groups/theloudquiet

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In Part 2 of our “How Not to Kill Your Spouse During the Holidays” series, we dive into the messy, funny, and surprisingly hopeful truth about December chaos. From marital meltdowns to mismatched traditions (IHOP Christmas Eve, anyone?), we unpack why the holidays make communication so hard—and how couples can actually thrive instead of barely surviving.

Inside this episode:
✨ Why failure is the secret ingredient to marital growth
✨ How to use a Couples Council to avoid holiday blowups
✨ FANOS, DEAR MAN, and other communication tools that actually work
✨ Stress-management strategies (mindful walks, bubble baths, and escaping perfectionism)
✨ The power—and hilarity—of traditions, even the accidental ones
✨ Why service, connection, and meaning matter more than perfect parties or perfect gifts

If the holidays make you anxious, emotional, hungry, overwhelmed, nostalgic, short-tempered, or all of the above, this episode is your cozy reminder that you’re not broken—you’re human. And you’re not alone.

Laugh with us. Learn with us. And maybe… build your own December Protocol. 😉

Listen now and make this holiday season more intentional, more connected, and maybe even… scintillating.

🔔Tune in to find out who won our $100 Date Night Giveaway! The winners are announced in this episode.

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Does the most wonderful time of the year make you want to tie your spouse to a chair? You aren't alone. We love Christmas, but we don’t love the stress, the fatigue, and the arguments that come with it.

In Part 1 of this holiday survival series, we’re opening up our personal "December Protocol"—the strategy we developed after one too many holiday meltdowns (and one infamous leaf blower incident).

Join us as we discuss:

💡 The "December Protocol": Why you need a game plan taped to your planner before the 1st of the month.

💡Expectations vs. Reality: Why Scott’s stocking was empty and why Heidi is buying her own gifts.

💡Boundaries: Saying "no" to the 14th school concert to say "yes" to your sanity.

💡The "3-Gift Rule": How we simplified our shopping using the Gold, Frankincense, and Myrrh method.

💡Prioritizing Us: Why research says desire should be high in December, but exhaustion kills the mood.

From "Jerusalem Dinners" at Circle K to managing family comparison, tune in to learn how to keep your marriage off the naughty list this year.

(Stay tuned for Part 2 on Friday where we cover Communication, Stress Management, and Traditions!)

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We are back with an unscripted episode fresh off a trip to Mexico City. After surviving a brush with a tree during a hot air balloon ride, we sat down with a young woman who had given up on the idea of marriage. It got us thinking about the modern trend of avoiding commitment and why, despite the "rough landings," we believe marriage is still worth fighting for.

In this episode, we cover:

✅The Balloon Metaphor: Why marriage requires risk to get the best perspective.

✅The "Witness" Theory: Reacting to a profound quote from the movie Shall We Dance? about the true purpose of partnership.

✅Raw & Real: We pull back the curtain on a difficult conversation we had this very evening about hiding our feelings to "protect" each other (and why that actually leads to roommate syndrome).

✅Enduring Love: A touching lesson from Scott’s parents on what love looks like in the final chapters of life.

Join us for the nitty-gritty of marriage—rough landings and all.

Mentioned in this episode:

Bucket list adventures: Email hello@marriageiq.com for the link!

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Welcome back to Marriage IQ! We’re making a borehole through boring and striking out stale marriages.

In this episode, Dr. Heidi Hastings and Dr. Scott Hastings explore the incredible power of committed love, using the jaw-dropping $38 billion divorce of Jeff Bezos as a stunning case study. Scott argues that even amidst immense wealth, virtually every man eventually longs for one woman, one wedding ring, and one life. If a CEO is willing to risk everything to pursue love, how much more should you invest in your marriage?

That investment begins with individual discipline. This episode’s core lesson focuses on The Golden Hour—How Individual Discipline Saves Your Marriage. We take you step-by-step through much of Dr. Scott Hastings’ rigorous 28-point Golden Hour routine—from 6:00 AM wake-ups and meditation to self-affirmations and goal reviews.

In this episode, learn:

✅The profound psychological research proving why marriage remains the ultimate, non-negotiable goal for most men.

✅How to use the Golden Hour system to create immediate, non-negotiable daily goals (“light switches”) and long-term identity affirmations (“dimmers”).

✅The scientific findings behind why setting realistic expectations is the only way affirmations lead to sustained psychological well-being.

✅A review of our four cornerstones (Identity, Intentionality, Insight, Intimacy) and the foundation of Integrity that makes every marriage scintillating.

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