ON BOYS Podcast

By: Janet Allison Jennifer LW Fink
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  • Summary

  • Real Talk about Parenting, Teaching, and Reaching Tomorrow’s Men
    2021 All Rights Reserved.
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Episodes
  • Circumcision: Facts & Myths

    Circumcision: Facts & Myths
    Aug 1 2024

    Circumcision is a decision every boy parent must face – but what’s the truth behind the practice?

    Let’s break down the facts and dispel the myths.

    Culture & emotion influence circumcision rates

    Surgical removal of the foreskin of the penis is incredibly common in some cultures & very rare in others. In the United States, approximately. 58% of male newborns are circumcised. But rates vary greatly by region – in the Midwest, it’s 74%; on the West coast, it’s 30%.

    Globally, about 1 in 3 males are circumcised, with great variation across countries and continents. In Australia, the circumcision rate is 27%. In Germany, it’s 11%. Zimbabwe, 9.2%. Italy, 3%. Ireland, 1%. Uganda, 26.7%.

    “The variation is really accounted for my cultural differences,” says Tim Hammond, executive director of the Genital Autonomy Legal Defense & Education Fund (GALDEF). He notes that circumcision is not recognized as healthcare in many countries — with some countries considering the procedure medically harmful. Myths, misinformation, superstition, and religion are often at the heart of the cultural reasons for circumcision.

    “What I’ve learned in 35+ years of being involved in this issue is that it really comes down to an emotional decision,” Hammond says.

    Circumcision isn’t medically necessary

    Removal of the foreskin may confer some health benefits, including a reduced risk of urinary tract infections (UTIS), decreased risk of sexually transmitted infection (STIs), and a decreased risk of penile and cervical cancer.

    However, there are other, less invasive ways for children to experience the same benefits, without undergoing surgical removal of the foreskin. Excellent hygiene can prevent many UTIs – and oral antibiotic treatment can easily treat UTIs. Consistent use of condoms during sexual activity can decrease the risk of STIs, including human papillomavirus (HPV), the virus that causes penile and cervical cancer. HPV vaccination can also prevent HPV infection.

    Links we mentioned (or should have) in this episode:

    Genital Autonomy Legal Defense & Education Fund (GALDEF)

    Circumcision: Where We Stand — American Academy of Pediatrics

    Aug. 3 Double Feature Documentary Screening: Nurses of St. Vincent: Saying No to Circumcision and Facing Circumcision: 8 Doctors Tell Their Stories

    Circumcision: The Hidden Trauma, by Ronald Goldman

    doctorsopposingcircumcision.com

    beyondthebris.com

    bruchim.online


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    50 mins
  • Jonathon Reed: To Connect with Boys, Listen

    Jonathon Reed: To Connect with Boys, Listen
    Jul 25 2024

    To connect with boys, you must first listen, says Jonathon Reed, program manager for NextGenMen.

    Societal expectations of boys & men are gradually shifting. These shifting narratives are part of why it’s so important for adults to listen to boys. Adults’ interpretation and understanding of situations and interactions doesn’t necessarily reflect boys’ complex experiences, and neither does our language or approach.

    “We’ve got to look to them as the leaders in this conversation,” Reed says.

    Approach with Curiosity

    Teens (and humans of all ages) tend to shut down and stop listening to people who don’t seem to be listening. By adolescence, most boys know that the world isn’t simply black or white; they’re ready to explore the grey. If you want to connect you boys, approach conversations with curiosity.

    “Curiosity lays the possibility for an impactful conversation,” Reed says. Then, listen. Don’t dismiss what boys are telling you; dwell on the awkwardness they share and express.

    Remember, too, that boys won’t necessarily tell you about their problems. “If boys are struggling, often they’re struggling in silence,” Reed says. “There’s still a stigma against asking for help, particularly when it also means admitting a weakness or a vulnerability.” Create a sense of safety to connect with boys.

    Links we mentioned (or should have) in this episode:

    NextGenMen website

    Raising Next Gen Men — ON BOYS episode

    Breaking the Boy Code — ON BOYS episode

    Teen Boys Emotional Lives — ON BOYS episode

    Creating Consent Culture: A Handbook for Educators, by Marcia Baczynski and Erica Scott

    Boys & Sex with Peggy Orenstein — ON BOYS episode


    Sponsor Spotlight: ByHeart

    Get 10% off your first order using code ONBOYS at byheart.com

    Sponsor Spotlight: Dabble & Dollop

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    Our Sponsors:
    * Check out ByHeart and use my code ONBOYS for a great deal: byheart.com


    Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

    Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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    47 mins
  • Dr. Lisa Damour: Connecting with Teens

    Dr. Lisa Damour: Connecting with Teens
    Jul 18 2024
    Dr. Lisa Damour says that adults should consider the barriers boys face when it comes to emotional connection and expression. "Gender is such a huge force in how emotion is expressed, and perhaps even in how emotion is experienced," says Dr. Damour. "If a boy doesn’t feel that he has permission to let people know he’s hurting, it’s a good bet that he will discharge his unwanted emotions by acting out."To Connect with Teens, Learn About Their EmotionsDr. Damour served as an advisor on one of this summer's most popular films, Inside Out 2. (Haven't seen it yet? Go! It'll give you great insight into what's going on inside the brain of your teen.)Boys may restrict their emotional expression due to societal pressures and gender norms. Dr. Damour highlights the stark contrast between the emotional expression allowed for girls and boys in our culture. Girls, she says, generally have a "wide emotional highway" to express a range of emotions, while boys are restricted to a "two-lane highway." And while it’s natural for humans to cry, boys who do so often face ridicule and social pressure, especially in environments like school.Dr. Damour suggests that parents and educators can help boys by creating spaces for physical and alternative forms of emotional expression. Unlike the cultural preference for verbal expressions of emotion, many boys and men (and some girls, women, and nonbinary individuals) find relief through physical activities. Activities like shooting basketball hoops, running laps, or even banging on an old filing cabinet can be effective ways to discharge and process emotions."If it brings relief and does no harm, it’s a good coping strategy," Dr. Damour says. Additionally, music can be a powerful tool for many boys to express and regulate their emotions.Practical Steps for ParentsTo connect better with teenage boys and support their emotional development, parents can:Create Safe Spaces for Emotional Expression: Encourage physical activities that help boys process their emotions. Sports, music, or even creative projects can provide an outlet for their feelings.Acknowledge and Respect Gender Norms: Understand the societal pressures boys face and offer support without reinforcing harmful stereotypes. Validate their feelings and encourage healthy expression.Set Clear Expectations: While understanding the pressures boys face, maintain clear expectations for respectful and kind behavior. Teach boys that while it's okay to feel anger or frustration, it's not okay to express these emotions through harmful actions.Model Emotional Intelligence: Show boys how to handle emotions by modeling emotional intelligence in your behavior. Demonstrate how to talk about feelings and handle stress constructively.Links we mentioned (or should have) in this episode:drlisadamour.com – Lisa’s websiteThe Emotional Lives of Teenagers: Raising Connected, Capable, and Compassionate Adolescents — Lisa’s latest book (get the free parent discussion guide here)Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Parenting – podcast hosted by Lisa Damour & Reena NinanTeen Boys’ Emotional Lives — ON BOYS episodeManaging Emotions — ON BOYS episodeNonverbal Communication with Boys — ON BOYS episode Sponsor Spotlight: LumenUnderstand your metabolism! Go to lumen.me/ONBOYS to save 15% on Lumen Sponsor Spotlight: Dabble & DollopNatural bath products for kids. Visit dabbleandollop.com/onboys to get 20% OFF your first order!Our Sponsors:* Check out ByHeart and use my code ONBOYS for a great deal: byheart.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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    45 mins
Children's Audiobooks Hygiene & Healthy Living
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