Out Late With David

By: David Cotton
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  • Summary

  • I'm a life coach who came out later in life as gay. Join me as I talk with others who’ve made this LGBTQ+ coming out journey later in their lives to become who they really are.
    Out Late With David: Coming Out Later in Life LGBTQ+
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Episodes
  • Brian Janes - came out after 26 years of marriage, now finding his place in his new community

    Brian Janes - came out after 26 years of marriage, now finding his place in his new community
    Aug 28 2024
    Summary

    Brian James, a successful real estate broker, came out as gay at age 49 after 26 years of marriage. He loved being married and had a strong connection with his wife, but deep down, he had a sexual desire that didn't match up with her. After years of therapy and self-help, his wife eventually told him she wanted a divorce. Brian knew he was gay from a young age but didn't know how to embrace it. He suppressed his true self and lived in fear of being found out. After his divorce, he made the decision to come out and started a podcast for men coming out later in life.

    Keywords: comingout, marriage, divorce, self-discovery, suppression, fear, loneliness, podcast, outlate, gay, alwaysgay

    Takeaways

    Suppressing your true self can lead to frustration and strain in relationships.
    Coming out later in life can be a difficult and lonely process.
    Embracing your true self can lead to personal growth and a more fulfilling life.
    Sharing your story and being vulnerable can help others going through similar experiences.

    Titles

    The Journey of Coming Out Later in Life
    Embracing Your True Self and Finding Personal Growth

    Sound Bites
    "Don't Let Your Wonder Turn Into Closure"
    "Here I Am, a Proud Gay Man"
    "You're Not Alone, We're All Out Here"

    Chapters (audio)

    00:00 Introduction: Brian James' Journey
    01:15 The Love and Connection of Marriage
    03:11 The Strain and Separation in Divorce
    04:09 Suppressing Identity and Fear of Coming Out
    08:27 Embracing Authenticity and Self-Discovery
    14:13 Coming Out to Ex-Wife and Children
    18:12 Starting the Podcast: Coming Inside Out
    23:09 Loneliness and Struggles After Coming Out
    28:14 Advice for Married Men Struggling with Acceptance
    30:31 Conclusion: Forgiving and Loving Yourself


    Chapters (video)

    00:00 Introduction and Background
    03:04 Suppressing True Self in a Marriage
    07:50 The Decision to Come Out
    10:43 The Power of Wonder and Curiosity
    13:36 Coming Out to Ex-Wife and Children
    17:23 Exploring the New World
    19:17 Regrets and Self-Kindness
    21:2 0Loneliness and Self-Discovery
    24:19 Starting the Podcast
    27:37 Advice for Married Men Struggling with Acceptance
    29:54 Summary and Closing

    Song Lyric Reflection: Ben Platt's "Older."
    • Older lyrics: https://www.google.com/search?q=ben+platt+older+lyrics&oq=ben+platt+older+lyrics&gs_lcrp=EgZjaHJvbWUyBggAEEUYOTIKCAEQABiABBiiBDIKCAIQABiABBiiBNIBCDQ2NzdqMGo3qAIIsAIB&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8
    • Older on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y_sADbvPmzE
    Podcast website and resources: https://www.OutLateWithDavid.com

    YouTube Edition: https://youtu.be/n3Iuqhu2K5M

    YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvsthP9yClKI4o5LxbuQnOg Certified

    Professional Life Coach, David Cotton: https://www.DavidCottonCoaching.com

    Contact me: mailto:david@davidcottoncoaching.com
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    32 mins
  • Ron Bunnell - 39 years into his marriage before he came out to his wife; now living a full life

    Ron Bunnell - 39 years into his marriage before he came out to his wife; now living a full life
    Jul 20 2024
    Summary

    Ron Bunnell shares his journey of coming out as gay later in life and the impact it had on his marriage. Despite initial fears, Ron's wife, Barb, showed love and support, and they were able to rebuild their relationship. Ron emphasizes the importance of being authentic and true to oneself, even if it means facing challenges. He also highlights the significance of finding support from others in similar situations. Ron's story serves as an inspiration for those navigating mixed orientation marriages and coming out later in life.

    Keywords coming out, late in life, marriage, support, authenticity

    Takeaways
    • Coming out later in life can be a challenging journey, but it is worth pursuing authenticity and being true to oneself.
    • Support from loved ones, like Ron's wife Barb, can make a significant difference in navigating the complexities of a mixed orientation marriage.
    • Finding a support group or community of individuals in similar situations can provide valuable guidance and understanding.
    • Ron's story highlights the importance of love, acceptance, and open-mindedness in relationships and families.
    Sound Bites
    • "I literally thought my life would end as I knew it"
    • "She wanted me to text her updates on what's going on"
    • "I have young friends who don't even have a coming out story, I'm just myself"
    Chapters
    00:00 - Introduction: David Cotton's Out Late Podcast
    01:13- Ron's Decision to Come Out to His Wife
    03:11- Barb's Surprising Reaction and the Rebuilding of Their Relationship
    08:27- Challenges and Complications in Ron's Journey 13:43- Ron's Childhood and Early Signs of His Sexual Orientation
    17:53- The Social and Cultural Context of Ron's Coming Out Journey
    19:19- The Impact of Ron's Sexual Orientation on His Marriage
    22:00- Finding Support and Meeting Scott
    25:14- The Kidney Donation and Its Impact on Ron and Barb's Relationship
    28:36- Barb's Lasting Support and Ron's Advice for Others
    33:02- Closing Remarks: Ron's Inspiring Journey

    Book Recommendation: Over the Cliff: Gay Husbands in Straight Marriages – Bonnie Kaye and Doug Dittmer - https://a.co/d/cMEgHNO

    Podcast website and resources: https://www.OutLateWithDavid.com

    YouTube Edition: https://youtu.be/ep8EEuvEn1U

    YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvsthP9yClKI4o5LxbuQnOg

    Certified Professional Life Coach, David Cotton: https://www.DavidCottonCoaching.com

    Contact me: mailto:david@davidcottoncoaching.com
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    34 mins
  • Brian Beaudette - after being married for 20 years he struggled with the impact on his family

    Brian Beaudette - after being married for 20 years he struggled with the impact on his family
    Jun 5 2024
    Summary

    David's guest, Brian, first came out to his wife over 20 years ago but chose to stay married for the sake of his family. It took ten years for him to decide it was time to live a different kind of life. Today, at age 59 he can finally say he’s “found his tribe.”

    Takeaways
    • The struggle of coming out after being married for 20 years
    • The impact of coming out on family, work, and community
    • Finding a supportive LGBTQ+ community and a sense of belonging
    • The relief of embracing authenticity and self-discovery
    Chapters

    00:00 The Struggle of Coming Out After 20 Years of Marriage
    05:57 Finding Support and Belonging in the LGBTQ+ Community
    11:41 Embracing Authenticity and Self-Discovery After Coming Out

    Book Recommendation: Gay Men and The New Way Forward, by Raymond L. Rigoglioso - https://a.co/d/7uByFA9

    Podcast website and resources: https://www.OutLateWithDavid.com

    YouTube Edition: https://youtu.be/X5L6lz_TX64

    YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvsthP9yClKI4o5LxbuQnOg

    Certified Professional Life Coach, David Cotton: https://www.DavidCottonCoaching.com

    Contact me: mailto:david@davidcottoncoaching.com

    © 2024 David Cotton Coaching, LLC. All rights reserved.The "Out Late With David" podcast and its content are the property of David Cotton Coaching, LLC. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from David Cotton Coaching, LLC is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to "Out Late With David" and David Cotton Coaching, LLC with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
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    27 mins
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