How can you trust your teen is learning and growing even when some behaviors look similar?

Moving past your teen’s previous behavior can feel hard, especially when they’re showing similar behaviors now. But they’ve been to treatment, and they’re older now, so how can you know whether it’s a repetitive pattern behavior you’re witnessing or whether maybe the same behavior has a completely different motivation behind it?

When something’s unknown, it’s very easy and normal for us to look for a reference, a moment in the past that looked similar. It’s like a trauma response. But it also means we’re operating from a place of fear.

“[As a parent], because I’m just waiting for it, because I just fear so much that you’ll do it again, anything that looks like old behavior feels like a relapse.” - Trevor Allen

And how does this reflect on your struggling teen? Do they feel seen for the person they are now or for the person they used to be? Your trauma response might involuntarily be communicating with your teen that you don’t believe they’ve changed.

“As someone who has gone through these changes, I can personally say, it's hurtful. … It’s hurtful when someone doesn’t see you in the new when you have done all of this work” - Seth Gottlieb

I’m joined today by both Seth Gottlieb and Trevor Allen to shine a light on both the parent perspective and the teen perspective of this delicate topic.

Is your teen really changing? Let’s discuss it in today’s episode.

In this episode on learning how to trust your struggling teen again, we discuss:

• Are you unconsciously waiting for your teen’s maladaptive behavior to happen again?;
• How can you know if your teen is changing?;
• What is true change?;
• The importance of seeing your teen for the individual they are, not the one they were;
• Learning how to trust your teen again;
• And much more!

Need support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

More about Trevor Allen
Trevor has worked with adolescents and families for 26 years in various roles. He currently is working as a therapist and a coach for adolescents and parents. He and his wife own a private practice called Juniper Hill Counseling & Coaching.

One of his biggest strengths is a person-centered approach in that he works hard to see the perspective of the client. It is his belief that connection and relationship is intrinsically important and has the secondary benefit that it creates fertile soil for change.

His family is what is most important to him. In his free time, Trevor enjoys running long distances in the Mountains of Utah.

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And remember parents, the change begins with us.

I'd love to hear from you! Click here to easily send me a quick message and make my day!

We all have difficult relationships in our lives. A difficult relationship for me was the one with my father.

We’re a few days after Father’s Day and I decided to dedicate this episode to my father. In this emotional episode, I’m sharing the talk I gave at my dad’s funeral. I remember how extremely hard it was, wanting to speak to the reality of my childhood and our relationship and at the same time shine a light on some of his good qualities.

“I remember just thinking and crying over how in the world I was going to express my conflicted feelings about [my dad]” - Beth Hillman

I hope this is helpful for you if you have (or had) a difficult relationship with your father as well. Or with one of your children. Or with anyone else close to you.

Dad, this one is for you.

In this episode on difficult relationships, I share:

• My difficult relationship with my father;
• The talk I gave at my father’s funeral.

Need support?

🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.


Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

I'd love to hear from you! Click here to easily send me a quick message and make my day!

Have you ever felt stuck in a triangle within your family, where one of you takes on the role of the victim, the other the villain, and another the hero? Maybe good cop, bad cop sounds familiar to you?

This is what we call the drama triangle, or triangulation, and it happens in every single family, whether you have a struggling teen or not. It often becomes a vicious cycle leading to massive problems and dysfunctional dynamics in our family. When one of you falls into their role, it triggers the other family members to take on their role too.

So how can we stop this vicious cycle?

Let’s start by understanding these roles, why we tend to fall into them, and how this shows up in daily family life. Then, there’s a clear way to get your family out of the drama triangle. I’ll tell you all about it in today’s episode.

In this episode on the drama triangle within family dynamics, we discuss:

• The roles in a drama triangle;
• Real-life examples of what these roles look like in our families;
• How to get out of a drama triangle;
• And more!

Need support?

🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.


Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

I'd love to hear from you! Click here to easily send me a quick message and make my day!