Today, we're diving deep into the people-pleasing trap and how it pulls us away from living in alignment with our true values. If you've ever found yourself saying "yes" when you really wanted to say "no," this episode is for you.

What makes this worth listening to:

• Understanding where our people-pleasing tendencies come from and how they take over our decision-making process.
• How constantly trying to fit in and make others happy can lead us away from our core values and create a sense of restlessness and dissatisfaction.
• How using your values as a template can help you make decisions that reflect what truly matters to you, not just what others expect.

Ready to stop letting people-pleasing run your life? Start by identifying your core values and using them as your decision-making template.

Mentioned in this episode:

• James Clear’s Values Assessment Guide https://jamesclear.com/core-values
• Podcast with Brene https://open.spotify.com/episode/0nwDfromS0ZNJAtqEqmjQE?si=r9kDTq2GQC-AYOQKc8Wj_w

Let's get to know each other:

Linkedin - https://www.linkedin.com/in/vicki-smith-5897b714a/

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/power.to.the.pleasers/

Website - https://powertothepleasers.com

YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@powertothepleasers2020/videos

Want to take action on what you've heard?

Schedule a time to talk.

https://calendly.com/vicki-46/20min

In this episode, we explore how Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy provides a step by step approach to connect with our inner selves using eight guiding principles, known as the 8 Cs: Calm, Curiosity, Compassion, Clarity, Creativity, Connection, Courage, and Confidence. What makes this episode worth listening to:

The Importance of a Strong Foundation:

Achieving true calm and confidence involves more than fleeting moments of these feelings. Without a solid foundation built on all the Cs, you might feel calm or confident, but it's not coming from YOU most likely, but the external circumstances lining up in just the right way.

Courage and Confidence in Practice:

Courage is not just about bold actions taken by talking yourself up, but involves setting boundaries and speaking up from a place of inner strength and clarity.

Confidence is about having a steady inner sense of self, knowing one's values, and trusting oneself.

The 8 Cs are more than just concepts; they are tools for creating a life that is rooted in self-awareness and intentionality. By embracing these qualities, we are able to navigate life's challenges with resilience and authenticity.

All the ways we can hang out and get to know each other:

Linkedin - https://www.linkedin.com/in/vicki-smith-5897b714a/

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100075839538976

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/power.to.the.pleasers/

Website - https://powertothepleasers.com

YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@powertothepleasers2020/videos

Another way we can hang out - - - we can work together! Like in real life!

Schedule a time to talk.

https://calendly.com/vicki-46/20min

In this episode, we dive into how the next few C words from the 8 Cs of Internal Family Systems (IFS) can help transform anxiety. Building on our last discussion about the importance of calm, we explore how calm, curiosity, and compassion lead to clarity and creativity in dealing with anxiety.

The following are the aspects of Self Energy we explore:

• Clarity and Creativity:

  • See how maintaining calm, curiosity, and compassion can lead to greater clarity and new perspectives on our emotions.
  • Find out how clarity opens the door to creativity, enabling us to brainstorm and explore new options for addressing our challenges.

• Connecting with Yourself:

  • The importance of self-connection and understanding are vital before reaching out to others.
  • Get practical tips on how to connect with yourself through creative problem-solving and self-care.

All the ways we can hang out and get to know each other:

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100075839538976

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/power.to.the.pleasers/

Website - https://powertothepleasers.com

YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@powertothepleasers2020/videos

Another way we can hang out - - - we can work together! Like in real life!

Schedule a time to talk.

https://calendly.com/vicki-46/20min

The Pixar movie Inside Out 2 is the inspiration for this episode. And being an Internal Family Systems therapist/coach, I had to use the movie to talk about parts! In the movie, anxiety takes a leading role in the life of the main character. This results in impulsive, reactive, and frenzied behaviors. Even though this is a kid's movie, oh can we relate! We all know anxiety can drive us to people-please, strive for perfection, and act out of fear.

To counteract anxiety, I'm going to introduce you to a part of yourself that you might not usually rely on: Self energy, or what I like to call Heart Wisdom. This concept, inspired by IFS (Internal Family Systems), encourages us to lead with qualities that foster a proactive approach to managing anxiety.

This is the first in a short Power Pod summer series on the qualities of Self Energy. Enjoy!

Nervous System Freebie mentioned in the episode: http://subscribepage.io/KNF3Nq

All the ways we can hang out and get to know each other:

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100075839538976

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/power.to.the.pleasers/

Website - https://powertothepleasers.com

YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@powertothepleasers2020/videos

What it’s about:

People react to each other—it's just how things go. Most of us are bumping up against others, unconsciously hoping those bumps won't hurt us or them because we don’t like conflict or tension. But here’s the deal: we are acting like feeling tension warrants going into survival mode. It doesn’t. And there is another way to work with the fear of upsetting someone.

It's parts work. In this episode, we'll dive into Internal Family Systems (IFS) to understand not only what is going on under the surface that makes us feel so triggered, but how to help ourselves relax back from relying a little too much on this protective stance in relationships.

Interesting parts of the episode:

Know Your Parts: Learn about the different parts of your personality and how they influence your reactions.

Reduce Fear: Exploring how fear-based reactions, like people-pleasing and perfectionism, stem from a desire to feel safe.

Empathy in Action: Apply your knowledge of parts work to create more genuine and less reactive connections with others.

Links and Resources:

Free Parts Mapping Session: Interested in learning more about IFS? Here’s the link to get on the calendar! https://calendly.com/vicki-46/free-internal-family-systems-mapping-session

Further IFS exploration: Here’s a BLOG on the 8 C’s of Self Energy – a big part of IFS work. https://powertothepleasers.com/2022/01/04/the-8-cs-qualities-of-strength-stability-and-resilience/

Also check out No Bad Parts - https://ifs-institute.com/store/419 for Richard Schwartz latest book on IFS.

All the ways we can hang out and get to know each other:

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100075839538976

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/power.to.the.pleasers/

Website - https://powertothepleasers.com

YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@powertothepleasers2020/videos

Another way we can hang out - - - we can work together! Like in real life!

Schedule a time to talk.

https://calendly.com/vicki-46/20min

Friendship is strange isn’t it? You make this unspoken agreement with another person to do what together? You aren’t dating. You aren’t co-workers. You aren’t “committed” like a life partner. What exactly are we agreeing to when we become friends? And how do you know if you are getting out of the lines of the agreement? Someone tells you. And if you are lucky, they are respectful and responsible about sharing their experience of your waning commitment. Today I share with you a recent exchange between myself and a friend that modeled for me the RIGHT way to do friendship. Welcome to a vulnerable share about how I was a bad friend and got called out on it. What makes this episode worth listening to:

1. Simple questions to help you do a Relationship Audit.
2. 3 respectful ways to share hurt feelings with a friend
3. How doing consistent inner work busts up long standing shame.

All the ways we can hang out and get to know each other:

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100075839538976

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/power.to.the.pleasers/

Website - https://powertothepleasers.com

YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@powertothepleasers2020/videos

Taking it to the next level! Let's talk about working together!

Schedule a time to talk.

https://calendly.com/vicki-46/20min

One of my clients inspired this episode after a few big ah-ha moments in a session.

They finally let their irritation and fatigue guide them to a balanced way of being naturally kind and generous.

And now you get the benefit of their hard work!

What makes this episode worth listening to:

1. Discover how you’re confusing people by “just being nice.”
2. Get honest about who you are into and who doesn’t make the cut.
3. How to use what you value as a guide to decide how you spend your time and energy.

All the ways we can hang out and get to know each other:

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100075839538976

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/power.to.the.pleasers/

Website - https://powertothepleasers.com

YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@powertothepleasers2020/videos

Want to do more than listen?

Well, hit me up and let's talk about working together!

Schedule a time with the link below:

https://calendly.com/vicki-46/20min

Today I am talking about the main thing that keeps people pleasers and perfectionists from setting boundaries – fear! I am going to walk you through a mindfulness practice to help you feel more relaxed as you can build the courage to confidently set boundaries and say “no” when you need to.

Join me in this episode to learn how you can stop letting fear get in the way of not only boundary setting, but pretty much anything that stops you in your tracks.

In this episode:

• Debunking a common myth about boundaries
• How awareness puts you in a position of power
• Mindfulness exercise that desensitizes you to discomfort

Freebie: From Shaky to Confident – Free guide to calming the F down!

https://subscribepage.io/KNF3Nq

Links:

Like what you hear? Let’s talk for a few to see how I can help!

https://calendly.com/vicki-46/20min

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Connect with Vicki: Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100075839538976

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/power.to.the.pleasers/

Website - https://powertothepleasers.com YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCNatSGDHY9lOmCoCVxQQE2Q