This week we are tracking an infectious disease through the Boston subway system while we discuss “Medusa”! We’re talking the very-real Jason Staham cameo, how Dr. Kelso from Scrubs will keep these trains running come hell or high water, wonder if it’s worth it to get infected by flesh-eating creatures if it means you can catch your train home on time, how Doggett is definitely a lover of the New York subway and as a result hates the fair city of Boston, and laugh at a Hazmat team running away from Scully in a brightly-lit hallway. We celebrate the return of the best kind of Scully yelling, get excited about robot sniffers, wonder where this strange tunnel boy came from, disapprove from the questionable service Dump-A-Kid, and wonder why this episode is called Medusa, exactly. We also thank Doggett for saying what we’ve all known to be true: Scully’s the boss.

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This week we are looking into troubling secrets and barfing creatures while we discuss “The Gift”! We’re talking whether or not Scully has any hobbies, how there’s no way Skinner reads any of their case reports, some Geico Caveman kissing ASMR, and how Mulder is screaming at witnesses. He’s back, baby! We’re happy to see Mulder, but we’re troubled by his actions, and isn’t that just like coming home? We discover that Skinner troublingly doesn’t know Mulder at all, how much Mulder hates wife-eaters, we check in on the Man Bat, we wave our cowboy hats around as Doggett gets into a stand-off, and we demonstrate our dedication to actively ignoring both of the major storylines in this season. Our powers of denial are stronger than Scully’s allergy to sharing details of her personal life. Aww… Euthanasia!

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This week we are avoiding squeaky carts in public bathrooms while we discuss “Badlaa”! We’re talking Doggett’s ever-deepening New Yahk accent, how Scully is always late to the scene because she has to exchange insurance information with all the cars she’s hit, sloppy vampires, how Scully is terrified at being the believer, that Skinner would make a great test proctor, and how it only took us ten episodes to create an absolutely unrecognizable version of Doggett in our minds. Gemini King Skinner took at least two seasons to develop. We admire Chuck’s luscious 70s locks, suspect that Mulder may have Gone Guy’d himself, puzzle over the plot for a while, wonder where Chuck’s journey takes him after this, wonder if Doggett is planning a bachelor party, and wonder how long it took Scully to clean out that alien mug. Also, we’re flipping over our factory sign: 0 Days Since Scully Shot a Kid.

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