I often joke with my clients and students that a part of all of us would like total, instant and eternal transformation every time we sit down to tap.

It is good that we have high standards and want only the best.

BUT, as we know, it doesn't always happen that way. A part of us also understands that healing is a process and sometimes it is healthiest and best for us when it unfolds slowly in order to take deep root.

When thinking about transformation as a process, we often only consider the speed at which it happens or the number of steps involved.

In addition to that, another factor impacts our rate of healing and that is the season that we are in.

When I say "season" I don't mean spring or summer AND I don't mean the season of our life, as in being "in the autumn of your life" meaning that you are aging.

Instead, we have seasons of growth, of healing, of rest, or of recovery, to name just a few. These seasons influence what type of healing we are able to experience at any given period in our lives.

You already have a sense of this in your own life. For example, you wouldn't start a major kitchen remodeling project the week before you take a three-week European vacation.

There is a time and a season for transformation. In this week's podcast, we explore what this means, how to determine what season you are in, and how to proceed with your tapping once you have clarity about this.

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As humans, one of the things we are very good at is naming everything that is wrong with our lives.

On one level, this is a useful tool because it allows us to identify what we would like to change.

The problem is that just because we know what we don't want, does not give us clarity about what we do want. Or, if we have clarity, it doesn't mean we know how to create it.

Whenever we experience a lack of clarity around our goals, or how to achieve them, it creates mass resistance to taking action. This is because our subconscious mind doesn't want to waste time and energy pursuing something that might not work out.

This week in the podcast, I share a straightforward but powerful tool that will help you to make progress towards whatever goal you are working on in a gentle and authentic way.

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One of the biggest obstacles to tapping is knowing where to start. This is especially true when we know we are feeling something, but we can't quite put our finger on what that is.

We might feel heavy or unsettled, or there is just something there at the edge of our consciousness.

When this happens it can be hard to tap. We might start tapping and then peter out because it is hard to focus on something vague.

This week in the podcast I am sharing a straightforward tool that I use when I am not sure how I am feeling. It takes advantage of the Feelings and Needs Inventory from the Center for Nonviolent Communications.

Although this tool is simple, don't underestimate its power.

Download the Feelings and Needs Inventory free

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One of the hardest phrases to say outloud is "I love and accept myself".

The reason this phrase is so hard to say outloud is because we know ourselves. We know our failings. We know our mistakes. We know where we have fallen short.

To say "I love and accept myself" feels like I am also accepting all of those failing and imperfections.

Recently I was talking to my friend Brad Yates and we were talking about why self acceptance is so hard. He said something along the lines of "We believe if we just fixed ourselves then we can accept ourselves. It is the other way around, healing begins with self acceptance."

Recently I have been trying a new self acceptance tapping practice.

It is the single scariest tapping practice I have ever done. The idea came from a podcast interview with the rapper and musician MAVI done by Jesse Thorn on the podcast Bullseye.

He talked about a practice had started doing where he was saying nice things about himself while doing something else. This "something else" takes self acceptance to a whole new level.

For the last few months I have been doing this practice a few times a week while adding tapping.

It is the single scariest tapping practice I have ever done. The first time I tried it I could barely do it for 30 seconds.

This week in the podcast I share:

• What the practice is
• How it has transformed the way I see myself (in great ways)
• How you can do something similar without having to go to the extreme that I have

Even if you don't try this, you are going to want to listen to this as it will help you to transform your relationship with yourself.

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One of the healthiest changes that has happened in the tapping world over the last decade is that we spend less time talking about the one-minute or one-session miracles.

This sort of instant transformation does happen and it happens regularly. It just doesn't happen all the time!

The reason I am happy that we no longer talk in those terms is because it creates unrealistic expectations for tapping. Assuming that tapping always works quickly means that when it doesn't, we think we are doing something wrong, or tapping doesn't work, or it won't work for our particular issue.

Even with a healthy expectation of the speed of healing and transformation, we can still hold unrealistic hopes for a round of tapping or the healing process.

This week in the podcast, we look at the rate of healing, how we can measure it to gauge whether we are on the right track and how to avoid creating unrealistic (and harmful) expectations.

If you have a regular tapping practice, I highly recommend listening to this episode.

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As a tool, tapping is such a powerful way to tune in to our emotions. Feeling, processing, and moving through emotions is a key part of the healing and transformational experience.

At the same time, there is a certain capacity to our emotional experience. Feeling deeply is a powerful part of transformation until it becomes too much.

I have often heard my clients describing this experience like trying to drink from a fire hose. It is just too much, too fast.

It can be scary and disorienting to feel completely overwhelmed in this way. After experiencing your emotions getting the better of you will mean that you learn to be on guard.

It is good for us to be wary unless it means we become so cautious that we stop moving forward in our healing journey.

This week in the podcast, I share with you what to do when the fear of being too emotional is holding back your healing. Using this process means you can strike a balance between not being overwhelmed and allowing deep and powerful healing to take place.

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You know you'd benefit from some tapping, so you sit down ready to get into it. You want it to work…but as soon as you start, your mind goes blank. You freeze because you can't think of the right words to use. After a few minutes, you give up, thinking you must be doing it wrong.

This happens to everyone, even experienced tappers, and I want to reassure you that it does not mean you are bad at tapping.

Several things cause a freeze response. Feeling overwhelmed leads to mental shutdown. Trying to get it "right" creates performance pressure. Fear of going too deep triggers protection mode. Past experiences with scripted tapping have taught you that precision equals success.

Your internal voice tells you: "I should know what to say by now. But if I don't have the perfect words, this won't work."

This thinking is all wrong.

The tapping itself is the power that creates transformation, not the specific words. Tapping works by calming your nervous system and changing how your body holds stress. Even neutral or vague words will activate the healing process.

Your goal is presence, not poetry.

Listen to this week's podcast to learn the three simple approaches you can use when you sit down to tap and don't know what to say. All three approaches are easy to master and even if you learn just one, it will make a huge difference in the efficacy of your tapping sessions, how long you tap, and how often you tap.

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brutal truth nobody talks about in the self-help world: The healing and transformational work never ends. Every breakthrough just reveals a fresh layer of issues to be worked through.

It would be wonderful if one day I was done, but I am open to the fact that it's an ongoing process.

For me, the single toughest place in the transformational and healing process is when I feel like I am starting over again. And calling it tough is an understatement.

Finding myself back at the beginning is frustrating, disappointing, demoralizing, devastating and, for me, the worst part is the shame I feel.

My shame is because it feels like such a personal failing. I know what to do, I know how to do it, I was doing the work, and now that I am back at the beginning, there is only one person to blame: ME!

This week in the podcast I am sharing what I've learned after years of experiencing this cycle myself and seeing it in my clients. It will shift your whole perspective, helping you to get your mojo back to do the work and reinforce all the work you have already done, so you don't end up in the same place again.

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