Dr. Stan Tatkin, co-founder of the PACT Institute, discusses the importance of secure functioning in relationships and the principles of mutual care and the couple bubble. He emphasizes the need for couples to create a shared vision and set of social contracts to protect and support each other. Dr. Tatkin also highlights the challenges of modern dating and the importance of building secure functioning relationships from the start. He concludes by discussing the ongoing research being conducted by the PACT Institute to provide evidence-based support for their approach.

Bio:

Dr. Tatkin and his wife, Tracey Boldemann-Tatkin, PhD, created the PACT Institute in 2010 to train mental health professionals to successfully integrate a psychobiological approach in their clinical practices. They appreciate his depth of understanding – of both the scientific research and the human condition – and how he integrates that wisdom to form the foundation of the comprehensive principles and methodologies he teaches. The American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists CA honored Stan with the Educator of the Year award in 2014.

Dr. Tatkin helps couples create healthy attachments and secure-functioning relationships based on fairness, justice, and sensitivity. In addition to his robust clinical practice in Calabasas, California, Dr. Tatkin and Tracey lead couples through Wired For Love Couple Retreats -- both online and in person across the United States and Europe.

Dr. Tatkin is an assistant clinical professor at the UCLA David Geffen School of Medicine, Department of Family Medicine. He is on the board of directors of Lifespan Learning Institute and serves as a founding member on Relationships First, a nonprofit organization founded by Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt.

Chapters:

• 00:00 Introduction to Dr. Stan Tatkin and the PACT Institute
• 02:00 Understanding PACT and its Polytheoretical Approach
• 04:54 The Motivation Behind Creating a New Perspective in Couples Therapy
• 08:44 The Impact of John Gottman and Sue Johnson on Couples Therapy
• 09:42 The Role of Brain Science and Psychobiology in Couples Therapy
• 11:32 Applying Brain Science and Psychobiology to Communication and Conflict Resolution
• 13:25 The Importance of Knowledge and Psychoeducation in Couples Therapy
• 15:22 The Interplay Between the Brain and Couples Therapy
• 20:16 Revising 'Wired for Love' and the Changing Landscape of Relationships
• 23:14 Common Relationship Pitfalls and Mistakes to Avoid
• 27:38 Creating a Shared Vision and Accommodating Differences in Relationships
• 35:16 The Importance of Mutual Care and the Couple Bubble
• 44:51 Applying PACT Principles to Modern Dating and Relationships
• 50:14 Building Secure Functioning Relationships from the Start
• 52:36 Key Relationship Advice from Dr. Stan Tatkin
• 55:03 Ongoing Research by the PACT Institute

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In this episode, Eli Weinstein interviews Chiemi, a leading expert in infertility and IVF. They discuss the misconceptions and assumptions surrounding infertility, the ongoing emotional and physical toll of the journey, and the importance of compassion and support. They also explore the dynamics of support within couples, the need for active listening and validation, and the challenge of balancing grief and joy. Chiemi emphasizes the importance of honoring one's experience and creating spaces for vitality and self-care. They also discuss the lack of recognition and ritual around the grief of infertility.

Key Ideas:

• Infertility and IVF are often misunderstood, and there are many misconceptions and assumptions surrounding these experiences.
• The emotional and physical toll of infertility and IVF is significant, and it is important to acknowledge and validate the grief and trauma that individuals and couples go through.
• Support within couples is crucial, and it is important to listen to and validate each other's experiences actively.
• Balancing grief and joy can be challenging, but it is possible to hold space for both emotions and allow oneself to experience happiness alongside the pain.
• Creating spaces for self-care, vitality, and emotional well-being is essential during the infertility journey.

• The grief of infertility is often unrecognized and lacks the rituals and support that are typically associated with other forms of loss.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction and Discussion of Misconceptions about Infertility

03:24 The Unrecognized Grief of Infertility

08:55 The Importance of Conversations about Loss and Fertility

15:01 Supporting Each Other in the Infertility Journey

19:12 Navigating Fear and Avoiding Turning Against Each Other

28:24 Creating a Warm and Loving Space in the World of Infertility

30:38 Letting Joy In and Balancing Grief and Happiness

34:02 Shifting the Mindset from Guilt to Acceptance

37:25 Recognizing and Honoring the Grief of Infertility

38:53 Conclusion and Appreciation for the Work of Supporting Infertility

Bio:

Chiemi aka Miss.Conception Coach is a published writer and Infertility Trauma + Grief Support Specialist. She lends her unique voice and expertise to help people better understand, validate, and process their infertility journey. She uses her platform to raise awareness about the emotions felt and the reality of the mental health issues people experience. Through her unique counseling style, she helps people understand, and heal from their experiences. She offers worldwide individual and couples teletherapy. Connect with Chiemi on Instagram and visit her website to learn more.

Dr. Miriam Kirmayer, a clinical psychologist specializing in adult friendships, discusses the importance of friendships and social connections in our lives. She shares her journey of researching adult friendships and the challenges of building and maintaining them. Dr. Kirmayer emphasizes the need for knowledge translation and making evidence-based information about friendships accessible and relatable. She also explores the dynamics of childhood friendships and how they differ from adult friendships. Dr. Kirmayer provides insights on overcoming social anxieties, being open and vulnerable in friendships, and the importance of self-talk and positive cues in building and maintaining connections.

Bio:

Dr. Miriam Kirmayer is a clinical psychologist, leading friendship expert, and influential speaker on human connection and social support.

With over a decade of research on the science of friendship, Dr. Miriam is revolutionizing the way we show up for, mentor, and connect with each other.

Dr. Miriam is one of the first and only clinical psychologists to specialize in friendship and shares guidance on navigating relationship changes and challenges through her writing, courses, and online community.

As a speaker and consultant, Dr. Miriam helps people, teams, and organizations to bridge the connection divide and readily build resilient, supportive relationships. She currently sits on the Mental Health Advisory Board for Wondermind, a mental fitness company co-founded by Selena Gomez and consults for The Foundation for Social Connection.

Dr. Miriam regularly contributes research-driven insights and relatable advice to top outlets including The Atlantic, BBC, Forbes, The New York Times, Time, and more.

Dr. Miriam Kirmayer received her Ph.D. from McGill University and lives in Montreal, Canada with her husband and their two children.

Connect with Dr. Miriam @miriamkirmayer and learn more at MiriamKirmayer.com.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction and Background

03:44 The Power and Importance of Adult Friendships

08:48 Navigating the Challenges of Building and Maintaining Friendships

15:38 The Role of Self-Talk and Positive Cues in Building Connections

20:53 Embracing New Connections and Initiating Friendships

28:00 Recognizing and Embracing the Evolution of Friendships

32:46 Gender Differences in Friendships

39:19 Men's Need for Intimacy and Self-Disclosure in Friendships

42:06 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Dr. Sherri Campbell, an expert on toxic family dynamics and emotional abuse, shares her personal journey of healing and self-discovery. She emphasizes the importance of authenticity and genuine care in therapy and how she incorporates personal experiences into her practice. Dr. Campbell defines toxic relationships as poisoning the spirit and preventing individuals from functioning at their full potential. She discusses the need to accept the reality of abusive family members and partners and the process of learning to love oneself after growing up in a toxic environment. Dr. Campbell also highlights the power of creating happiness and the value of suffering in developing empathy and wisdom.

Takeaways

• Authenticity and genuine care are essential in therapy, as they help clients feel seen and valued.
• Toxic relationships poison the spirit and prevent individuals from reaching their full potential.
• Accepting the reality of abusive family members and partners is crucial for healing and self-love.
• Happiness is not given, but created through self-discovery and personal growth.
• Suffering can lead to increased empathy and wisdom, enhancing one's capacity for happiness and fulfillment.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction and Background

07:58 The Journey of Learning to Love Oneself

11:44 Understanding Toxic Relationships

20:59 Connecting Hope and Reality

31:23 The Goal of Therapy for Survivors of Toxic Family Dynamics

37:28 Creating Happiness and the Value of Suffering

42:11 Final Words of Advice

In this conversation, Eli Weinstein interviews Vincent Infante, a therapist and life coach who shares his unique approach to helping clients optimize their lives and feel empowered.

They discuss the importance of giving grace to others and the limitations of therapy and coaching. They also explore the daily grind that can lead to burnout and ways to alleviate it. The therapist emphasizes the positive intent behind negative emotions and the need to be curious about them.

They also discuss the power of mindset shifts, breaking out of diagnoses, and rephrasing language to separate oneself from emotions and experiences.

In this conversation, Eli Weinstein and Vin discuss the importance of separating psychological disorders from personal responsibility. They mention Dr. Amen and his work on brain scans to understand mental health. They also talk about the prevalence of making excuses in today's society and the need to take ownership of one's actions and emotions. Vin shares his personal journey of breaking free from victimhood and the importance of honesty and self-awareness. They discuss the five aspects of mastery: thoughts, emotions, behaviors, actions, and language, and how they can be controlled to create a more intentional and empowered life.

Takeaways

• Give grace to others and be flexible when scheduling and rescheduling appointments.
• Therapy and coaching have their limitations, and a hybrid approach that combines aspects of both can be more effective.
• Negative emotions have positive intent and can be indicators of deeper challenges or problems.
• The daily grind can lead to burnout, and it's important to find ways to alleviate it.
• Rephrasing language and separating oneself from diagnoses can help create possibilities for change and overcome negative experiences. Separate psychological disorders from personal responsibility
• Take ownership of your actions and emotions
• Be honest and self-aware about who you are
• Control your thoughts, emotions, behaviors, actions, and language
• Create an intentional and empowered life

Chapters

00:00 The Power of Giving Grace and Flexibility

03:49 The Limitations of Therapy and Coaching

08:04 Alleviating the Daily Grind

13:24 The Positive Intent of Negative Emotions

23:08 Rephrasing Language for Change and Possibilities

25:02 Understanding Psychological Disorders and Personal Responsibility

26:31 Taking Ownership of Your Actions and Emotions

30:32 Breaking Free from Victimhood through Honesty and Self-Awareness

39:10 Mastering Your Thoughts, Emotions, Behaviors, Actions, and Language

45:00 Creating an Intentional and Empowered Life

For more on Vincent Infante, check out the links below:

Website: www.vincentinfante.life

LinkedIn: www.Linkedin.com/in/vininfante

Instagram: www.instagram.com/vin.infante

PsychologyToday: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/vincent-infante-staten-island-ny/821820

Dr. Sara, an expert on relationships, discusses the six ingredients for designing the love people deserve. These ingredients can be applied to all types of relationships, including those with parents, siblings, children, and coworkers. The conversation explores the importance of attraction, respect, trust, compatibility, communication, and growth in maintaining thriving relationships. It emphasizes the need to focus on the right aspects of a relationship and not rely solely on love to save it. The discussion also challenges common misconceptions about sex and physical attraction in relationships. In this conversation, Eli Weinstein discusses the six key ingredients for a successful relationship: respect, vision, trust, compassion, acts of love, and knowing your own blueprint. He emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries and communicating them lovingly and firmly. Vision involves imagining a partnership where two individuals influence and support each other, creating a harmonious relationship. Trust is built on reliability and consistency, and commitment is crucial even when you don't feel like it. Compassion is about being there for the other person without making it about yourself, and acts of love involve making the other person feel special in the way they want to be.

Takeaways

• The six ingredients for designing the love people deserve are attraction, respect, trust, compatibility, communication, and growth.
• Love alone cannot save a relationship; it requires effort and focus on the right aspects.
• Physical attraction is important, but it is culturally constructed and can change over time.
• Respect involves continuously learning about boundaries and being respectable oneself.
• Trust is built through consistency, reliability, and vulnerability.
• Compatibility includes both individual attributes and interpersonal qualities.
• Effective communication goes beyond talking and includes understanding and valuing each other's perspectives.
• Relationships require growth and evolution to adapt to different stages and challenges. Set boundaries and communicate them lovingly and firmly.
• Imagine a partnership where two individuals influence and support each other.
• Build trust through reliability and consistency.
• Commit to the relationship even when you don't feel like it.
• Be there for the other person without making it about yourself.
• Make the other person feel special in the way they want to be.

Chapters:

00:00 Introduction and Background

02:22 Dr. Sara's Journey into Relationship Work

05:20 The Role of Love in Relationships

09:16 The Focus and Efforts in Relationships

12:13 The Six Ingredients for Designing Love

22:41 Focusing on What Matters in Relationships

24:35 The First Ingredient: Attraction

26:36 The Second Ingredient: Respect

29:21 The Third Ingredient: Trust

31:46 The Fourth Ingredient: Compatibility

34:38 The Fifth Ingredient: Communication

38:03 The Sixth Ingredient: Growth

40:52 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

28:24 Creating a Vision for a Harmonious Relationship

29:21 Building Trust through Reliability and Consistency

35:06 Committing to the Relationship Even When You Don't Feel Like It

41:46 Being There for the Other Person without Making it About Yourself

49:16 Making the Other Person Feel Special

Travis Thomas, a performance coach, discusses the importance of mindset and courage in sports and everyday life. He shares how his background in improv comedy led him to the mental performance space and how he incorporates improv principles into his coaching. Travis emphasizes the need to accept and embrace uncertainty, control the controllable, and focus on what's important now. He distinguishes between fearless and courageous, highlighting the importance of facing discomfort and taking action despite fear. Travis encourages individuals to validate their feelings and prioritize their locus of focus to make decisions that align with their priorities.

Takeaways

• Accept and embrace uncertainty in order to adapt and respond effectively to changing situations.
• Focus on what you can control and take action in the present moment.
• Courage is the ability to face discomfort and take action despite fear.
• Validate your feelings and prioritize your locus of focus to make decisions that align with your priorities.

BIO

Travis Thomas is a performance coach who specializes in mindset, leadership, and culture. He is the former performance coach for the US Men’s National Soccer team, and is currently serving that role with FC Dallas and the St. Louis University men’s soccer team. He continues to serve as a corporate trainer, speaker, and consultant for some of the top companies in the world. He is the author of the book, “3 Words for Getting Unstuck: Live Yes, And”…in which he shares his experience from 25 years in improvisation and improvisational comedy - and how those principles apply to the happiness and performance in our lives.

Summary

The Slumberkins founders, Kelly and Kaylee, discuss emotional health and wellness for children, the creation of their business, and the impact of their products. They emphasize the importance of emotional wellness for parents and children, the challenges of parenting in the digital age, and the need for a shift in the narrative around emotional growth and wellness.

Kelly Oriard is the co-founder and Chief Therapeutic Officer at Slumberkins, a children’s education and emotional health brand. She holds a dual master's degree in Marriage and Family Therapy and School Counseling. As a licensed family therapist, school counselor, and mother, Oriard is passionate about changing how we support the mental and emotional well-being of children and families. As the author behind the character storylines at Slumberkins, Kelly is changing the way children and families can access the content and strategies, usually found in a family therapy session, in a fun, easy-to-use way that creates healing and brings meaningful moments of connection that make a lifelong impact on the emotional health of children.

Callie Christensen is the co-founder and Chief Brand Officer at Slumberkins, a children’s education and emotional wellness brand. Callie holds a master’s in teaching elementary education and special education. As a mother and educator turned entrepreneur, she’s on a mission to use her educational background to create an accessible, meaningful, and purposeful brand that is useful in every home and school to help support families and communities on their journeys of emotional health. Slumberkins is at the forefront of brand building online as they expand into children’s entertainment by bringing the characters to life in a preschool television series produced by The Jim Henson Company for Apple TV+.

About Slumberkins

Slumberkins is the leading early emotional wellness brand promoting healthy emotional development through stories and characters in the form of consumer products, books, content, music, school-based curriculum and more. Slumberkins uses original storytelling through its 50+ books in print and popular cuddly creatures to help children connect with a wide range of emotions and empower them to grow into caring, confident and resilient people. Slumberkins was founded in 2015 by Kelly Oriard and Callie Christensen, both moms with backgrounds in child development and family therapy.

Fueled by an appearance on Shark Tank and a growing community of more than 1 million, Slumberkins is continuing to expand its wildly successful consumer products and publishing business across multiple touch points, including a children’s music album, affirmation app, and mixed media puppet / 2D animation TV program produced by The Jim Henson Company, based on its plush toys, now streaming worldwide on AppleTV+. Slumberkins has sold more than 1.5 million books to date while also actively selling curriculum into schools nationwide. To learn more, visit Slumberkins.com and follow them on Instagram, Facebook, and Pinterest.