Send us a text

- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre

What is 'Manly'? A conversation with Damian Andrews of SHAIR.Care Podcast (Australia) in 2023.

Make the real thing the real thing; prioritise the right thing. Fight the right battles. Don't fight some battles, but lose the war. It will drain you and then you want to self-soothe and dissipate your energy.

Your brain may sideswipe you to focus on non-essentials. What is the real issue. Take your eyes off others and do your own battles and fights.

Not ones which others have set up for you. Focus on self love and self value. Only then can you learn to truly love someone else.

….then, after sorting self, maybe you will have more energy to pick up other things and fulfil your best potential in the right aspects of life that is destined for you to impact beneficially. Become the best that you can be and leave your positive deposit on this earth.

Consider a re-set, re-set, re-set. Get back to the real thing. Your focus is to change the trajectory that you are on. Change it by just one degree and in a year, see where your new trajectory has taken you.

Compulsive and addiction behaviours is causing you to live and experience a lower quality of life, than you are entitled to and deserve.

The Kairos Centre is all about helping you to see what you cannot see; then you can go after the right stuff, effect change and seek to be the best that you can be, so others can become the best that they can be – because you have become the best that you can be - without SHAME, bringing colour back to life.

Come taste and see!

Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.

Help someone: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentre

Help is here for you: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp

Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.

Key words: sex addiction, addicted, partner, porn addiction, recovery, sex drive, therapy, sex therapy, podcast, relationships, relationship counseling, relationship advice, addiction, couples, couples therapy, sex therapy, emdr, love addiction, behavior, psychology, codependency, sex life, neuroscience, sex ed, sober, sobriety, sexual dysfunction, relationship issues, sex coach, sexual, trauma, ptsd, sex science, The sex porn love Addiction Podcast, The Singles Partners Marrieds and Long Time Marrieds Podcast, Gary McFarlane, porn addiction, what neuroscience says, neuroscience, young adults, sex, sex addict, porn, recovery, porn addiction issue, porn addiction in teens, sex addiction in teens, sex hormones,

Support the show

Send us a text

- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre

What is 'Manly'? A conversation with Damian Andrews of SHAIR.Care Podcast (Australia) in 2023.

Sex Addiction is handled very differently between the cultures. Shame plays out differently between cultures. 'Shame' in Asian culture, is very different to 'Shame' in Western European culture.

An interesting article by Sam Louie, discusses Asian 'Shame' and 'Honour' as a cultural conundrum:

"...Honoring his Korean heritage while also trying to honor his sense of autonomy growing up. He saw getting help as bringing dishonor to his family and not an act of empowerment...Seeking help for addictions...is seen as a major umbrage to the Asian individual, family, and extended Asian community.

....when it comes to addictions, there is scant attention given to Asians. Part of the limited attention lies in the age-old Asian custom of secrecy, silence, and shame. From an Asian addict’s perspective, it’s the ultimate blow of humiliation to be seen as weak since having an addiction goes against Asian social norms...

...The mere acknowledgement of an Asian person having a problem is going against cultural norms because it sends the implicit message to others that you have let them down....internal shame in Korea comes when a person has not lived up to the community’s rules and expectations. This internal shame is very prevalent among Asians and Koreans. It functions to build group harmony and unity.”

In addition, Asian shame is intricately tied to the fear of rejection and loss of both familial and cultural community support...is more profoundly associated with the fear that one’s inadequacies will result in the loss of union with or expulsion from the group”.

“Chinese parents readily discuss and disclose children’s transgressions in front of strangers to induce shame and to socialize children to behave properly…given the greater valuation of shame in collectivist cultures compared to individualistic ones, it should not be surprising that in many East Asian and other collectivist contexts shame plays a more salient role in everyday life.”

...in shame-based cultures, public humiliation, scorn, or censure are relied upon more heavily to keep individuals in obedience whereas the western notion of guilt and corrective behaviors comes from an individual’s development of an internal conscience."

Remember, 'Shame' means hide/hidden - don't get caught or be found out.

Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.

Help someone: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentre

Help is here for you: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp

Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.

Key words: sex addiction, addicted, partner, porn addiction, recovery, sex drive, therapy, sex therapy, podcast, relationships, relationship counseling, relationship advice, addiction, couples, couples therapy, sex therapy, emdr, love addiction, behavior, psychology, codependency, sex life, neuroscience, sex ed, sober, sobriety, sexual dysfunction, relationship issues, sex coach, sexual, trauma, ptsd, sex science, The sex porn love Addiction Podcast, The Singles Partners Marrieds and Long Time Marrieds Podcast, Gary McFarlane, porn addiction, what neuroscience says, neuroscience, young adults, sex, sex addict, porn,

Support the show

Send us a text

- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre

What is 'Manly'? A conversation with Damian Andrews of SHAIR.Care Podcast (Australia) in 2023.

“Mirror, Mirror on the wall, who is the fairest or them all”?

How do you answer that question for you? Learn to love self, before you can love others.

I use that thing called EMDR to work on the distorted image of self. What is this thing called EMDR? It is Eye Movement Desensitisation Reprocessing. What a mouth full!

I can talk about it til the cows come home, but you will still have frowns on your eyebrows. Watch a few of the video clips:

https://youtu.be/9uE04Blfd-Q?si=MrNZZmCAgmTmOUo7 EMDR (Prince Harry) experience

https://youtu.be/M2ra8p4MSOk

https://youtu.be/bIJZQAr9nQo

https://youtu.be/HNdMHuwvF_M

https://youtu.be/xZVw-9ThmSM

Stop accepting the crumbs off the table. The brain’s dialogue with you can go like this:

“It’s better to have someone, than no one; but people are not safe. Keep them at arms-length and be ready to retreat quickly, if you get a whiff or hint that they are unhappy and may finish with you. It is best to torpedo the relationship; jettison it and protect your heart from further pain, before they do it to you. So, throw in a hand grenade (effectively, to create conflict so as to force the other person to have to leave and finish with you); and then the ‘fait accompli’ kicks in, where – ‘I knew they would finish with me at some point’. (When in fact that was not necessarily what they were planning); more important that you do it to them, before they do it to you, because it hurts less, done that way and you are then in more control of the pain, than if it is done to you and you were caught off guard (again).

“Do onto others, before they do it to you” – is being played out repeatedly. It all makes logical sense to your brain, even if it doesn’t to you!

Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.

Help someone: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentre

Help is here for you: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp

Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.

Key words: sex addiction, addicted, partner, porn addiction, recovery, sex drive, therapy, sex therapy, podcast, relationships, relationship counseling, relationship advice, addiction, couples, couples therapy, sex therapy, emdr, love addiction, behavior, psychology, codependency, sex life, neuroscience, sex ed, sober, sobriety, sexual dysfunction, relationship issues, sex coach, sexual, trauma, ptsd, sex science, The sex porn love Addiction Podcast, The Singles Partners Marrieds and Long Time Marrieds Podcast, Gary McFarlane, porn addiction, what neuroscience says, neuroscience, young adults, sex, sex addict, porn, recovery, porn addiction issue, porn addiction in teens, sex addiction in teens, sex hormones,

Support the show