- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre

I need only a few words to summary this episode. The slippery slope of mis-using Technology, will always cost you more than you had bargained, in many aspects of life.

The world of AI, VR, Silicone full size sex dolls (childlike or sex slave like), will take you down at some point. It may not be for 20 years before doing a look back to count the cost of the severe adverse consequences of chasing the ultimate experience.

Get off the slippery slope. The stuff will bite you in the bump at some point. It will all - always - end badly.

Contact The Kairos Centre to help you.

Give a little to my fund raising page here, to help someone access the Recovery Programme: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentre

Want to know more? Click the link and come get me.

Get the help you need: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp

Discover the real, authentic you - without shame.

The Kairos Centre created one of the world's first comprehensive Online Webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction video-on-demand Recovery Programme; discover the real, authentic you. www.kairos-centre.com or email info@kairos-centre.com

Now launched: A Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles, Couples/Marrieds/Partners) Access here - https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/

Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.

Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Root Causes | Brain Impact | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Family Conflict | Emotional Neglect | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Pain | Dissociation| Recovery Program | EMDR Therapy | Emotional Event | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Compulsive Behaviors | Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Guilt | Infidelity | Traumatic Bonding | Objectification | Hypersexualization | Pornography Industry | Love Addiction Patterns | Attachment Styles | Sexual Compulsivity | Behavioral Therapy | Relapse Prevention | Emotional Regulation | Healing Journeys | Intimacy Building |

- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre

"Sticks & stones can break my bones, but names can never hurt me".
That's not true! words do hurt. That means positive words can heal wounds.

Hence, the basis for reciting "Pillars" - which are words that are spoken over yourself three times a day, every day. They can re-set you throughout the day, as a distraction technique; distraction from the objectified images which are being replayed in the minds-eye.

Those objectified images are giving a drip, drip dose of those potent neurochemicals over days and so it is no surprised when days later you get a powerful sense of wanting to "Act out". Where did that powerful feeling come from? It came from the drip feed build up over time, from objectified images.

Here is a snippet of one of the 12 Pillars:
"My brain can change. My brain can be my best friend. It can also be my worst enemy. If I do positive things in my life, it is because of the neural circuitry that exists in my brain. If I do negative things......"

Give a little to my fund raising page here, to help someone access the Recovery Programme: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentre

Want to know more? Click the link and come get me.

Get the help you need: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp

Discover the real, authentic you - without shame.

The Kairos Centre created one of the world's first comprehensive Online Webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction video-on-demand Recovery Programme; discover the real, authentic you. www.kairos-centre.com or email info@kairos-centre.com

Now launched: A Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles, Couples/Marrieds/Partners) Access here - https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/

Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.

Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Root Causes | Brain Impact | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Family Conflict | Emotional Neglect | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Pain | Dissociation| Recovery Program | EMDR Therapy | Emotional Event | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Compulsive Behaviors | Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Guilt | Infidelity | Traumatic Bonding | Objectification | Hypersexualization | Pornography Industry | Love Addiction Patterns | Attachment Styles | Sexual Compulsivity | Behavioral Therapy | Relapse Prevention | Emotional Regulation | Healing Journeys | Intimacy Building |

- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre

For example, the highest download of porn is between the hours of 9am and 5pm. What are those hours? Where are most people, during those hours? What do most contracts say about being caught having downloaded such material at work? What consequences flow from exposure? Then why take that level of risk?

Don't use logic when considering these questions. The part of the brain that does logic, is the Frontal Lobes - the Frontal Cortex (which analyzes, problem solves and learns).

Problem. When triggered to do the behaviours, very soon afterwards, the Frontal Cortex goes offline and the Limbic system (deeper in the middle of the brain) - takes over. It is the Emotional brain, which responds to feelings and emotions and triggers the Amygdala (the smoke alarm part of the brain) - to do something, to bring back stability of mood; to bring back homeostasis.

(Understand homeostasis by closing your eyes and stand on one leg. Most of us instinctively want to hold out our arms to balance us. So it is with the Amygdala and Limbic system).

Problem. The behaviour of choice, is what is well-used and has repeat hamster wheel activity about it; the automatic - autonomic system - 'go-to' behaviour; because of the neural Pathway carved out from repetition.

The logic (that the chosen activity has "Harmful Consequences") - is not being made in the Logical part of the brain. You could say - there is compromised brain functioning. A Recovery Programme, will want to provide tools to help better manage emotions and keep the logical brain online. Get it?

Give a little to my fund raising page here, to help someone access the Recovery Programme: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentre

Want to know more? Click the link and come get me.

Get the help you need: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp

Discover the real, authentic you - without shame.

The Kairos Centre created one of the world's first comprehensive Online Webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction video-on-demand Recovery Programme; discover the real, authentic you. www.kairos-centre.com or email info@kairos-centre.com

Now launched: A Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles, Couples/Marrieds/Partners) Access here - https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/

Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.

Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Root Causes | Brain Impact | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Family Conflict | Emotional Neglect | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Pain | Dissociation| Recovery Program | EMDR Therapy | Emotional Event | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Compulsive Behaviors | Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Guilt | Infidelity | Traumatic Bonding | Objectification | Hypersexualization | Pornography Industry | Love Addiction Patterns | Attachment Styles | Sexual Compulsivity | Behavioral Therapy | Relapse Prevention | Emotional Regulation | Healing Journeys | Intimacy Building |

- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre

"Objectification" is not that you noticed the person. It is, that you linker longer or go back for a second or third look. "I am just appreciating God's creating", doesn't cut it!

What a nightmare then, for Porn Addicts, are these Paris Olympics (and the holiday abroad in the sun (not in England!) - by the poolside and the beach.

On the theme of the Olympics, here is a snippet of my recent article. Email me if you would like the full article:

"A recent media article is headed “Ex-Olympian reveals real reason there’s so much sex between athletes during the olympics”: https://vt.co/entertainment/sport/ex-olympian-reveals-real-reason-theres-so-much-sex- between-athletes-during-the-olympics?utm_source=vt&utm_medium=picturepost%23lz9fo3cjugjb1agb1qa As to any truth in that article, the likelihood is that the larger portion of the athletes probably do not have a Compulsive Sexual Behaviour Disorder (CSBD) - (more colloquially called Sex Addiction). Here is the definition of Sex Addiction which I use: "......

On the other hand, Huw Edwards (a high profile - currently in the media) regrettably, likely does have a Porn Compulsivity/Addiction). The increased risk taking and crossing boundaries will likely have been happening for some time, in order to have got him to the place of what has unfolded.

It makes no sense to many of us as to why a person would risk his marriage, other relationships, career, high profile role and impact on family and status, in order to do the activities. It is because the behaviours (not the porn viewing per se) - but the getting the neurochemical fix - is so powerful. Porn viewing and the commensurate risks, is the equivalent of the drug takers needle. It the conduit to get the neurochemicals into the body. It isn’t about porn or sex!......

Yes, but does sex or porn addiction really exist? Judge for yourself. The 9th International Conference on Behavioral Addictions (held by the International Society for the Study of Behavioural Addictions (ISSBA) - held all over the world - was in Gibraltar on 8-9 July 2024. It is a unique opportunity to share scientific knowledge on behavioural (non-substance-related) addictions, to enhance knowledge and gain a better understanding. Here is a link to one article in the Journal of Behavioral Addictions, in June 2024, as to the “Compulsive sexual behaviour in.....

It is interesting that Dr Rory Reid of UCLA, did research in 2007 & 2011, as to the prevalence of ADHD in a group of men in treatment for Sex Addiction. He found that although the prevalence of ADHD in the general population is 3-5% - of that group of men he studied, 23-26% were found to meet the criteria for ADHD......."

Give a little to my fund raising page here: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentre

Discover the real, authentic you - without shame.

Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.

Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Root Causes | Brain Impact | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Family Conflict | Emotional Neglect | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Pain | Dissociation| Recovery Program | EMDR Therapy | Emotional Event | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Compulsive Behaviors | Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Guilt | Infidelity | Traumatic Bonding | Objectification | Hypersexualization | Pornography Industry | Love Addiction Patterns | Attachment Styles | Sexual Compulsivity | Behavioral Therapy | Relapse Prevention | Emotional Regulation | Healing Journeys | Intimacy Building |

- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre

Porn-Blockers won't stop those who are determined to act out. Their use is, however, essential for those serious about achieving sobriety. It buys you time. It might get you through that day and enable you to add one more day to your sobriety count.

Here are some Porn-Blockers:
Chrome BlockX/Blocker X,Safe Surfer,Covenant Eyes,Qustodio,Famisafe Ourpast,Norton Online Family,Xblock,AdGuard,Tech Lockdown
Pluckeye,Accountable2you,Focus.me,Antidopamine,Adultblocker,X3Watch
Bark,Net Nanny,AVG Family Safety,McAfee Family Protection,Canopy, Canopy,Kidslox,PureSight Owl2011,Safe Eyes,Websafety PC,Cyberpurify

Would you help fund someone else's Recovery? Go on - give back a little and help make a significant difference in someones life - changing the trajectory of the quality of their life - where they cannot afford the help needed.

Give a little to my fund raising page here: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentre

Want to know more? Click the link and come get me.

Get the help you need: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp
The Kairos Centre created one of the world's first comprehensive Online Webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction video-on-demand Recovery Programme; discover the real, authentic you. www.kairos-centre.com or email info@kairos-centre.com

Now launched: A Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles, Couples/Marrieds/Partners) Access here - https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/

Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.

Support Our Show
Linktree - https://linktr.ee/garymcfarlane

Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Root Causes | Brain Impact | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Family Conflict | Emotional Neglect | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Pain | Dissociation| Recovery Program | EMDR Therapy | Emotional Event | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Compulsive Behaviors | Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Guilt | Infidelity | Traumatic Bonding | Objectification | Hypersexualization | Pornography Industry | Love Addiction Patterns | Attachment Styles | Sexual Compulsivity | Behavioral Therapy | Relapse Prevention | Emotional Regulation | Healing Journeys | Intimacy Building |

Snippet of an interview with Caroline Brown of “This Crazy over 40s Life”: Sex with no strings attached - Part 5

- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre

Worth listening to “Sexual Intelligence: More Science stuff” episodes – to recognise that there are consequence for Sex, Porn, Love Addiction patterns of behaviours. Watch out for the psychosexual problems in the individual and couple’s sexual relationship.

Sex, Porn, Love Addiction gets passed on to your next generation and tends to have a co-addiction (twin addiction) waiting in the wings to take its place. The brain can be re-wired. You can recover from sex, porn, love addiction – but there are no quick fixes!

Whichever addiction you are caught up in (whether Alcohol, smoking, eating, sex, porn, seeking out connection with love, drugs, gambling or gaming), the craving to use are not under direct conscious control. The memory of the positive-after-effect-feelings, can be accessed (afterwards), but are not generally influenced (ie take any interest) in cognitive (thinking/thoughts) attempts to bolster willpower to effect change/cessation/sobriety.

There may be a high level of sincere motivation to stop, but later on, the physiology demand for its chemical fix, situational triggers and disturbing/upsetting feelings, causes a PART of the personality to sabotage; not care about the demands of the other PARTS of the personality. I see, I desire, I want, so I take - kicks in – where “Immediate gratification" rules again.

Gary McFarlane is a Psychosexual Therapist, working with all of the sexual dysfunctions.

The Kairos Centre have launched a comprehensive Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles Pre-Married prep, Partnerships, Couples, Marrieds, long, long time Marrieds/Partners) bringing together is experience with hundreds of Singles and couples over 19 years and a few books written on the subjects. See the website.

Want to know more? Click the link and come get me.

Get the help you need: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp
The Kairos Centre created one of the world's first comprehensive Online Webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction video-on-demand Recovery Programme; discover the real, authentic you. www.kairos-centre.com or email info@kairos-centre.com

Now launched: A Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles, Couples/Marrieds/Partners) Access here - https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/

Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.

Support Our Show
Linktree - https://linktr.ee/garymcfarlane

Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Root Causes | Brain Impact | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Family Conflict | Emotional Neglect | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Pain | Dissociation| Recovery Program | EMDR Therapy | Emotional Event | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Compulsive Behaviors | Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Guilt | Infidelity | Traumatic Bonding | Objectification | Hypersexualization | Pornography Industry | Love Addiction Patterns | Attachment Styles | Sexual Compulsivity | Behavioral Therapy | Relapse Prevention | Emotional Regulation | Healing Journeys | Intimacy Building |

(Snippets from an Interview by Caroline Brown of "This Crazy over 40's Life Podcast") - Part 4

- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre

Something shifted during Covid-19 lockdown. Many women enticed to use phones, computers and tablets during lockdown, crossed their own "values" boundaries, as it seemed reasonable to do so (in the unusual circumstances of lockdown). The problem: Once crossed and their brain experienced the novelty, naughtiness, daringness and thrill of seeing a partner on the other side of the screen - went back for repeat. With repeat, came "normalising". With normalising, came further encroachment.

Many women have become addicted to sex and/or porn, but either do not know it, accept it, in denial, reject the notion or head buried - you choose which one! Oh no - don't be angry and upset with me. This might be the start of you reclaiming your life.

Shall I push on, undaunted? "In for a penny, in for a pound, hey".

For others, romantic novels (Fifty Shades of Grey is now somewhat tame) - they have gravitated to "Romance": as the safe search word on Netflix, Apple TV and Amazon Prime. Those movie viewings (with a bit (no - a lot) of spice) is now normalised night cap viewing with a cup of.... before bed. "Just my way of chilling and winding down. "I deserve"; "no harm done". (Oh - by the way - that sounds like the men's (similar) journey into porn!

After all - "I'm not doing anything different to what lots of others watch and are doing"; "this is mainstream TV viewing, not a porn site"; "just a tonic before bed".

Very British. At least it isn't sex before breakfast - which is not very British!!

Which quote do you use - to justify?

(Oh dear. Expect a lot of flack and adverse, annoyed feedback for this episode Gary - "Brace, Brace, Brace". Send them here folks: info@kairos-centre.com). Oh dear!

Want to know more? Click the link and come get me.

Get the help you need: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp
The Kairos Centre created one of the world's first comprehensive Online Webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction video-on-demand Recovery Programme; discover the real, authentic you. www.kairos-centre.com or email info@kairos-centre.com

Now launched: A Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles, Couples/Marrieds/Partners) Access here - https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/

Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.

Support Our Show
Linktree - https://linktr.ee/garymcfarlane

Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Root Causes | Brain Impact | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Family Conflict | Emotional Neglect | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Pain | Dissociation| Recovery Program | EMDR Therapy | Emotional Event | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Compulsive Behaviors | Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Guilt | Infidelity | Traumatic Bonding | Objectification | Hypersexualization | Pornography Industry | Love Addiction Patterns | Attachment Styles | Sexual Compulsivity | Behavioral Therapy | Relapse Prevention | Emotional Regulation | Healing Journeys | Intimacy Building |

(Snippets from an Interview by Caroline Brown of "This Crazy over 40's Life Podcast") - Part 3

- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre

Sameness and/or difference attracts and are bonded together; but something shifted somewhere along the journey. Falling out of love visited the couple,

Something about Core Emotional Needs being met, then stopped being met. Also, how it is we trash out Values and become unshackled. Core Emotional Needs and (separately) Values, are two powerful exercises covered in The Kairos Centre’s Sex Addiction Recovery Programme. You need to know your top Core Emotional Needs and the Values you may be trashing. EMDR can then address the unresolved and unprocessed past hurts and traumas.

The Kairos Centre have launched a comprehensive Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles Pre-Married prep, Partnerships, Couples, Marrieds, long, long time Marrieds/Partners) bringing together is experience with hundreds of Singles and couples over 19 years and a few books written on the subjects. See the website.

Want to know more? Click the link and come get me.

Get the help you need: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp
The Kairos Centre created one of the world's first comprehensive Online Webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction video-on-demand Recovery Programme; discover the real, authentic you. www.kairos-centre.com or email info@kairos-centre.com

Now launched: A Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles, Couples/Marrieds/Partners) Access here - https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/

Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.

Support Our Show
Linktree - https://linktr.ee/garymcfarlane

Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Root Causes | Brain Impact | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Family Conflict | Emotional Neglect | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Pain | Dissociation| Recovery Program | EMDR Therapy | Emotional Event | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Compulsive Behaviors | Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Guilt | Infidelity | Traumatic Bonding | Objectification | Hypersexualization | Pornography Industry | Love Addiction Patterns | Attachment Styles | Sexual Compulsivity | Behavioral Therapy | Relapse Prevention | Emotional Regulation | Healing Journeys | Intimacy Building |