Are you struggling in the aftermath of infidelity? Are you searching for ways to heal and rebuild trust? If so, you’re going to want to listen to today’s episode.

Steph & Craig are joined by Michelle Mays, a Licensed Professional Counselor and author of The Betrayal Bind, How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most Hurts You the Worst.

Michelle has developed a groundbreaking approach to help betrayed partners navigate their healing journey.

In this episode, she shares profound insights on the nature of betrayal and the types of core wounds it inflicts: attachment injury, emotional and psychological injury, and sexual injury.

She also breaks down how infidelity can lead to carried shame, where the betrayed partner feels undeserved shame, and offers strategies to release this misplaced burden.

She delves into the role of attachment in both infidelity and addiction, showing how individuals might use sex to regulate their emotions and meet attachment needs.

The discussion also addresses common misconceptions surrounding infidelity, such as the unjust blame placed on betrayed partners and the erroneous belief that infidelity always ties to sex addiction.

Michelle refutes the notion that "once a cheater, always a cheater," stressing that meaningful change is possible with self-reflection and committed effort.

Today’s episode is a powerful one and offers up a message of hope and inspiration that healing from infidelity is possible.

Connect with Steph & Craig:

Watch the episodes on YouTube-https://www.youtube.com/@stephandcraig/?sub_confirmation=1

Follow Steph & Craig on Facebook- https://www.facebook.com/stephandcraig

Steph & Craig on Instagram- https://www.instagram.com/steph.and.craig/

Steph & Craig on TikTok- https://www.tiktok.com/@stephandcraig

Sign up for Steph & Craig’s newsletter- https://www.stephandcraig.co/

Disclaimer:

We’re just sharing our journey with you. We’re not licensed therapists, and this podcast is NOT intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Cool? Good deal. We’ll see you soon.

In this episode:

00:00 Understanding Carried Shame

03:09 Misconceptions About Infidelity

08:18 Distinguishing Infidelity and Sex Addiction

16:45 The Role of Attachment in Infidelity and Addiction

29:06 Releasing Carried Shame

33:18 Misconceptions About Infidelity and Relationships

33:47 Challenging Misconceptions about Infidelity

35:13 Infidelity as a Relationship Problem

38:32 The Phases of Healing After Infidelity

41:21 Navigating the Push-Pull Dynamic

56:39 Recognizing Green Flags in the Healing Journey

Connect with Michelle:

Follow Michelle on YouTube- https://www.youtube.com/c/MichelleMaysChannel/?sub_confirmation=1

Check out Michelle on Instagram- https://www.instagram.com/michellemays_/

Michelle’s Website- https://michellemays.com

Michelle on Facebook- https://www.facebook.com/OfficialMichelleMays/

Michelle’s book, The Betrayal Bind- https://michellemays.com/book

Expect the best. Plan for the greatest.

Is your internal dialogue negative or positive? Do the beliefs you hold about yourself uplift you, or are they toxic and self-defeating? If you struggle with negative self-talk, this episode is for you.

Today, Steph & Craig dive deep into the world of self-talk and the powerful impact it has on your life. They break down the negative thoughts and toxic self-beliefs that everyone experiences, reminding you that you're not alone in your shame.

In this episode, Steph & Craig explore their personal battles with negative self-talk and trace the roots of these harmful beliefs. They discuss practical strategies and tools that have helped them shift to a more positive and empowering internal dialogue.

They emphasize the importance of bringing awareness to the words you use every day and how words can shape your reality. You’ll learn how to reprogram your brain to see and feel differently about who you are and your place in this world.

By the end of this episode, you’ll be equipped with actionable insights and techniques to start reprogramming your self-talk and building a more positive self-image.

Connect with Steph & Craig:

Watch the episodes on YouTube-https://www.youtube.com/@stephandcraig/?sub_confirmation=1

Follow Steph & Craig on Facebook- https://www.facebook.com/stephandcraig

Steph & Craig on Instagram- https://www.instagram.com/steph.and.craig/

Steph & Craig on TikTok- https://www.tiktok.com/@stephandcraig

Sign up for Steph & Craig’s newsletter- https://www.stephandcraig.co/

Disclaimer:

We’re just sharing our journey with you. We’re not licensed therapists, and this podcast is NOT intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Cool? Good deal. We’ll see you soon.

In this episode:

00:00 The Dichotomy of Optimism and Pessimism

03:04 The Role of Ego in Self-Talk

06:30 Challenging and Replacing Negative Self-Talk

10:30 The Influence of Programming on Self-Talk

17:03 The Journey of Healing and Recognizing Worthiness

42:10 Reprogramming Negative Self-Talk

43:09 The Power of Positive Affirmations

46:30 Challenging Societal Pressure to Be Negative

54:36 Stopping as a Starting Point

01:02:30 Struggling with Believing Positive Affirmations

01:09:10 Choosing What to Program

01:14:47 Bringing Awareness to Self-Talk

01:19:55 Expecting the Best and Planning for the Greatest

Expect the best. Plan for the greatest.

On today’s episode, Steph & Craig tackle a big issue in relationships: What’s the difference between pointing out your partner's imperfections and things you'd like them to change vs. nagging them and trying to control them to become the partner you want?

They discuss how to see the difference between the two and how they navigate the fine line that can exist in this space.

Steph & Craig also discuss the significant role society has played in shaping their relationship and the roles they each play.

They also respond to a listener question regarding emotional monitoring.

Tune in and get ready because there’s a good chance you’re going to be activated and fired up by the end. Hopefully in a good way.

Connect with Steph & Craig:

Watch the episodes on YouTube-https://www.youtube.com/@stephandcraig/?sub_confirmation=1

Follow Steph & Craig on Facebook- https://www.facebook.com/stephandcraig

Steph & Craig on Instagram- https://www.instagram.com/steph.and.craig/

Steph & Craig on TikTok- https://www.tiktok.com/@stephandcraig

Sign up for Steph & Craig’s newsletter- https://www.stephandcraig.co/

Disclaimer:

We’re just sharing our journey with you. We’re not licensed therapists, and this podcast is NOT intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Cool? Good deal. We’ll see you soon.

In this episode:

00:00 Introduction: Emotional Monitoring and Healing Childhood Wounds

05:01 Creating a Safe Environment for Healing and Change

09:41 Reprogramming Thoughts: The Practice of Positive Affirmations

14:23 The Lifelong Journey of Healing and Change

33:09 The Importance of Accountability and Taking Responsibility

35:04 Recognizing the Impact of Childhood Programming

37:07 Healing Through Relationships

41:29 Exploring Dynamics of Household Chores and Societal Programming

Expect the best. Plan for the greatest.

What happens when your definition of love is codependency?

On today’s episode, Steph & Craig discuss what came up for them after episode 18 with trauma expert Tim Fletcher.

If you haven’t yet, be sure to go back and listen to the last episode, The Connection Between Complex Trauma, Codependency, & Narcissism with Tim Fletcher.

Steph & Craig share their big takeaways from the episode and what they’ve been processing since.

They also open up and share personal stories about their relationship and what it was like trying to navigate some of the most difficult and toxic times.

If you’re struggling with codependency or trying to figure out how to make it still work after surviving really difficult things in your relationship, you’re going to want to listen.

It’s a raw and vulnerable episode discussing shame, narcissism, complex trauma, codependency, infidelity, childhood abuse, addiction, and so much more.

Join Steph & Craig as they share the reality of what it’s really been like navigating these hard issues and what ended up helping them stay together in the end.

Connect with Steph & Craig:

Watch the episodes on YouTube-https://www.youtube.com/@stephandcraig/?sub_confirmation=1

Follow Steph & Craig on Facebook- https://www.facebook.com/stephandcraig

Steph & Craig on Instagram- https://www.instagram.com/steph.and.craig/

Steph & Craig on TikTok- https://www.tiktok.com/@stephandcraig

Sign up for Steph & Craig’s newsletter- https://www.stephandcraig.co/

Disclaimer:

We’re just sharing our journey with you. We’re not licensed therapists, and this podcast is NOT intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Cool? Good deal. We’ll see you soon.

In this episode:

00:00 Introduction and the Influence of Society on Love

18:36 Codependency and Complex Trauma in Relationships

26:18 The Dance Between Narcissism and Co-Narcissism

32:11 Addressing Personal Baggage and Childhood Wounds

34:20 Understanding the Fear of Abandonment

35:14 Patterns and Cycles in Codependent Relationships

38:26 Unconscious Behaviors and the Role of Trauma

45:08 Healing, Setting Boundaries, and Unpacking Baggage

50:44 The Addiction to Chaos and the Fear of Calmness

57:31 Understanding the Neurochemical Processes in Complex Trauma

01:04:58 Expecting the Best and Planning for the Greatest

Expect the best. Plan for the greatest.

Are you in a codependent relationship?

Are you stuck in toxic cycles of narcissism and co-narcissism?

If so, you’re going to want to tune in to today’s episode.

Steph & Craig welcome trauma expert, Tim Fletcher to the podcast. Tim is a pioneer in the addictions and Mental Health treatment profession and an expert on complex trauma. He is the founder and president of RE/ACT (Recovery Education for Addictions and Complex Trauma). He’s also a counselor, a researcher, and a pastor.

Tim offers up a masterclass on complex trauma and its connection to codependency.

He breaks down how children who experience complex trauma in childhood will oftentimes have one parent or caregiver who is narcissistic or displays narcissistic traits and will in turn form a codependent relationship with that parent or caregiver.

Tim goes on to explain the cycles of codependent relationships, how addiction plays a role, what you can do if you find yourself in this type of relationship, and so much more.

Buckle up because there’s a lot of information covered and you’re going to want to catch it all.

Connect with Steph & Craig:

Watch the episodes on YouTube-https://www.youtube.com/@stephandcraig/?sub_confirmation=1

Follow Steph & Craig on Facebook- https://www.facebook.com/stephandcraig

Steph & Craig on Instagram- https://www.instagram.com/steph.and.craig/

Steph & Craig on TikTok- https://www.tiktok.com/@stephandcraig

Sign up for Steph & Craig’s newsletter- https://www.stephandcraig.co/

Disclaimer:

We’re just sharing our journey with you. We’re not licensed therapists, and this podcast is NOT intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Cool? Good deal. We’ll see you soon.

In this episode:

00:00 Understanding the Shame Spectrum

10:16 Exploring Codependency in Relationships

31:10 The Cycle of Codependent Relationships

33:32 Approaching Codependency and Narcissism with Compassion

34:58 The Dynamics of Codependent Relationships

36:16 Fluctuating Roles in Codependency

43:45 Differentiating Codependency from Healthy Love

48:14 The Influence of Childhood Experiences on Codependency

56:25 Understanding and Healing Codependency

01:04:36 The Role of Addiction in Codependency

01:07:42 The Connection Between Complex Trauma and Addiction

01:14:39 The Role of Self-Soothing and Coping Mechanisms

01:18:01 Understanding Codependency in Relationships

01:25:30 Breaking Free from Codependency

01:36:39 Creating Healthy, Interdependent Relationships

Connect with Tim:

Follow Tim on YouTube- https://www.youtube.com/@TimFletcher

Check out Tim on Instagram- https://www.instagram.com/timfletcherco/

Tim’s Website- https://www.timfletcher.ca/

Tim on Facebook- https://www.facebook.com/TimFletcherCo/

Expect the best. Plan for the greatest.

How connected are you to your nervous system? Is it something you’re actively paying attention to throughout the day?

On today’s episode, Steph & Craig dive into the importance of staying cognitively connected to your nervous system and how intertwined it is with your coping mechanisms.

They talk about the importance of prioritizing your mental and emotional well-being by being mindful of what you consume and the spaces you occupy.

They also explore the concept of teaching your inner child different things as you continue to heal and grow as an adult.

Throughout the episode, Steph & Craig highlight the importance of being present in your body and feeling your emotions as essential steps to healing and growth.

Join them for an enlightening discussion on the mind-body connection, self-awareness, inner child healing, and the path to a healthier, more balanced life.

Connect with Steph & Craig:

Watch the episodes on YouTube-https://www.youtube.com/@stephandcraig/?sub_confirmation=1

Follow Steph & Craig on Facebook- https://www.facebook.com/stephandcraig

Steph & Craig on Instagram- https://www.instagram.com/steph.and.craig/

Steph & Craig on TikTok- https://www.tiktok.com/@stephandcraig

Sign up for Steph & Craig’s newsletter- https://www.stephandcraig.co/

Disclaimer:

We’re just sharing our journey with you. We’re not licensed therapists, and this podcast is NOT intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Cool? Good deal. We’ll see you soon.

In this episode:

00:00 Cognitive Connection to the Nervous System

03:07 Influence of External Factors on the Nervous System

08:22 Recognizing Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms

14:29 Awareness of Physical Needs and Regulation

24:40 Learning and Growing Through Awareness

28:57 Signs of Healing and Growing

31:21 Recognizing the Learning Process

34:16 Validation and Support in Healing

35:44 Choosing What to Engage With and Allow Into Your Life

52:18 The Power of Somatic Practices: Jiu-Jitsu and Breathwork

01:05:44 Being Present in Your Body and Feeling Your Emotions

Expect the best. Plan for the greatest.

Are you afraid someone is going to read your journal?

Do you self sensor when writing in your journal?

On today’s episode, Steph and Craig open up about their struggles with journaling and the fear they both have when it comes to being vulnerable in their writing.

They explore the roots of this fear, share some past experiences, and discuss the lasting impacts it’s had on both of them.

They also examine how trauma and codependency are wrapped up in the conversation as well.

Steph and Craig open up about boundaries and forgiveness, and talk about deal breakers in their relationship.

They also touch on the importance of self-worth and positive self-talk, highlighting how these elements play a crucial role in both journaling and communication.

Join Steph and Craig for an honest and insightful discussion on the complexities of journaling, the power of vulnerability, and the path to healing and self-discovery.

Connect with Steph & Craig:

Watch the episodes on YouTube-https://www.youtube.com/@stephandcraig/?sub_confirmation=1

Follow Steph & Craig on Facebook- https://www.facebook.com/stephandcraig

Steph & Craig on Instagram- https://www.instagram.com/steph.and.craig/

Steph & Craig on TikTok- https://www.tiktok.com/@stephandcraig

Sign up for Steph & Craig’s newsletter- https://www.stephandcraig.co/

Disclaimer:

We’re just sharing our journey with you. We’re not licensed therapists, and this podcast is NOT intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Cool? Good deal. We’ll see you soon.

In this episode:

00:00 The Fear of Vulnerability in Journaling

06:20 Trauma and Journaling Habits

15:56 Exploring Boundaries and Forgiveness

29:45 Cultivating Self-Worth and Positive Self-Talk

36:12 Navigating Difficult Conversations and Taking Breaks

44:08 The Challenges of Journaling and Finding What Works

52:31 Embracing Self-Compassion and Acceptance in Journaling

01:09:48 The Power of Active Listening and Vulnerability in Communication

Expect the best. Plan for the greatest.

If you’re trying to heal from your own childhood while still doing your best to show up as a parent, this episode is for you.

On today’s episode, Steph & Craig are joined by Ashley Ayala, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) who specializes in family dynamics, intergenerational trauma, and parenting support.

Ashley offers valuable insights into how emotional abuse can manifest within the parenting dynamic and the potential consequences it holds for your children's overall well-being. She delves into the subtle ways emotional abuse can appear, often going unnoticed, and discusses its profound impact on children's mental and emotional health.

Tune in for an enlightening conversation that sheds light on the importance of recognizing and addressing emotional abuse in family relationships. Learn practical strategies for fostering healthier family dynamics, breaking the cycle of intergenerational trauma, and supporting your children's well-being.

This episode is a must-listen for parents and anyone interested in understanding the complexities of family relationships and emotional health.

Connect with Steph & Craig:

Watch the episodes on YouTube-https://www.youtube.com/@stephandcraig/?sub_confirmation=1

Follow Steph & Craig on Facebook- https://www.facebook.com/stephandcraig

Steph & Craig on Instagram- https://www.instagram.com/steph.and.craig/

Steph & Craig on TikTok- https://www.tiktok.com/@stephandcraig

Sign up for Steph & Craig’s newsletter- https://www.stephandcraig.co/

Disclaimer:

We’re just sharing our journey with you. We’re not licensed therapists, and this podcast is NOT intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Cool? Good deal. We’ll see you soon.

In this episode:

00:00 Understanding and Empathizing with Children's Emotions

03:24 The Overlooked Issue of Emotional Abuse in Parenting

12:36 Manifestations and Consequences of Emotional Abuse

14:27 Promoting Emotional Intelligence in Parenting

30:09 The Impact of Childhood Trauma

31:07 Attachment Styles and Relationships

32:02 Yearning for What Could Have Been

32:59 The Myth of Secure Attachment

34:20 Resilience and Healing from Childhood

36:36 Uncovering Unhealed Wounds

37:32 Shifting Perspectives and Self-Awareness

38:30 Healing and Personal Growth

40:45 Unconscious Patterns and Reactions

51:50 The Link Between Trauma and Brain Development

55:06 Rewiring the Brain and Creating New Pathways

57:30 Bringing Awareness to Unconscious Processes

58:52 Creating a Safe and Attuned Environment in Parenting

Connect with Ashley:

Ashley on Instagram- https://www.instagram.com/the_modern_parent/

Follow Ashley on YouTube- https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCsuEEJCfZ6rPWR1BedJZaRg

Special offer from Ashley- https://mailchi.mp/65e1b754c5ea/healingfromtheinsideout

Expect the best. Plan for the greatest.