Showing results by publisher "Brilliance Audio" in Humor

Charlie Joe Jackson may be the most reluctant reader ever born. And so far, he’s managed to get through life without ever reading an entire book from cover to cover. But now that he’s in middle school, avoiding reading isn’t as easy as it used to be. And when his friend Timmy McGibney decides that he’s tired of covering for him, Charlie Joe finds himself resorting to desperate measures to keep his perfect record intact. This is the hilarious story of an avid non-reader and the extreme lengths to which he’ll go to get out of reading a book.

The plan was simple. Ethan Cheeseman, along with his three smart, polite, and relatively odor-free children, would travel back in time to end a family curse and save their mother. Now that the LVR (a super-secret time machine) is working, it’s easy peasy. Except they didn’t account for one basic rule of science: Murphy’s Law — if something can go wrong, it will.

avid is having the summer of his life at his grandmother’s Intergalactic Bed & Breakfast, an inn for vacationing aliens. By now even the slimiest tourists don’t faze him, and he has all of security officer Tate’s safety procedures down pat. In fact, David thinks it’s about time the grown-ups entrusted him and his friend Amy with even more responsibility. David and Amy get their big break when Grandma is invited to travel long-distance to accept an award and Tate decides to follow her.

His self-involved older sister and workaholic Mom think he needs to stop obsessing already! But when his Dad finally allows Jimmy to get a puppy before school starts, everything changes and Jimmy has something new to focus on: his amazing dog, Abby, who seems to have some very unusual habits. She sleeps all day but is wired at night, and she runs from the garlic kelp biscuit made by Jimmy's strange new babysitter Mrs. Cragg. There's just something different about Abby. Could she possibly be...a vampire?

Every time Kevin Spencer sees Tina Zabinski, the Most Beautiful Girl in the World, he’s in danger of tripping, falling, and making a fool of himself. He can hardly say a word to her. But Kev knows he’d be the perfect boyfriend for Tina. He’s not bragging. Just pointing out the obvious. Kev decides to take a scientific approach to getting a date with Tina. After all, love is based on chemistry. When new kid Cash Devine zeroes in on Tina, Kevin hustles to find the formula that will make her forget all about Cash.

Jimmy is sure that his dog Abby is special. After all, it was Abby who (with the help of Jimmy & friends) helped nab the criminal Barnaby Bratford and shut down Barnaby's babysitting service, a front for robbing the nice folks of Quietville. Jimmy's parents, on the other hand, are starting to feel like Abby is one destructive little dog (she chewed up Mom's entire shoe collection!) and they insist on enrolling Abby in obedience training.

Mudshark is cool. He’s the go-to guy with the answers, and the mudshark Detective Agency is always on the case. At least, it is until the Psychic Parrot takes up residence in the school library. The word in school is that the parrot can out- think Mudshark. And right now, the school needs someone who’s good at solving problems. There’s an escaped gerbil running the halls’ a near-nuclear emergency in the faculty restroom, and an unexplained phenomenon involving disappearing erasers. Once Mudshark solves the mystery of the erasers, he plans to investigate the Psychic Parrot….

As a punishment for lying, Kevin has lost his allowance. He doesn’t lie now, but he’s broke. He’s got to find a way to make money. Lots of it, so he can impress Tina Zabinski, the World’s Most Beautiful Girl, and ask her on a date. So Kevin gets creative - and his life becomes a financial comedy of errors. Does he really have what it takes to get filthy rich at age fourteen? In Gary Paulsen’s hilarious follow-up to Liar, Liar, Kevin’s schemes lead him into situations that are sweet, some that are sticky, and some that are downright stinky.

Everyone has a girlfriend except Charlie Joe! But he won't be left in the dust. Look out for make-ups, break-ups, and hilarious romance tips as Charlie Joe figures out this crazy little thing called love.

In The Shoe Bird, Jim Dale brings to life a flock of unforgettable bird characters: Arturo the parrot, Gloria the goose, Minerva the owl, and even the extinct Dodo! This is Eudora Welty's fantastical story of how some feathered friends made a fateful switch from flying to wearing shoes, little knowing that they would soon become the prey of Freddy the Cat!

When rumors spread that dragons have been spotted on the kingdom’s border and an unhatched dragon’s egg is at Niven’s Knowe, Prince Marcus jumps at the chance to bring his sweetheart, Gracie Gillypot, to the scene. But lurking across the border is the bloated, sluglike Granpappy Canker, who is scheming to infiltrate the Five Kingdoms. Fans of the series will be reunited with familiar royalty, generations of bats, and Gubble, the loyal troll, as they all gather to witness the standoff between True-heart and the forces of evil.

Harold Schernoff, fourteen-year-old science whiz and social outcast, has a theory to solve every problem, from dating to dealing with bullies, to making money, to playing sports, to buying a car when you’re underage. Want to learn to ski? Try: Mass x acceleration x slope of hill = EEEEEAAGGHHH! Here’s another surefire formula: Golf balls + car = BANG!Science turns slapstick when Harold and his buddy team up to test Schernoff’s Discoveries.

What would you do if your best friend was:

Imaginary?

An oversize blue chimp in surfer shorts? (Potentially embarrassing, but hey, no one else can see him...right?)

Proposing a plan to help you improve your life?

Did we say imaginary?

Driving you crazy?!?!

Now you have an idea of what Willie Ryan's life is like when he meets Dodger. It's the beginning of a lot of trouble - and a friendship you'll never forget!

So you think you know the story of Little Red Riding Hood, the girl with the unfortunate name and the inability to tell the difference between her grandmother and a member of a different species? Well, then, try your hand at answering these questions: Which character (not including Little Red herself) is the most fashion challenged? Who (not including the wolf) is the scariest? Who (not including Granny) is the most easily scared? Who is the strangest? (Notice we’re not "not including" anyone, because they’re all a little off.) Who (no fair saying "the author") has stuffing for brains?

When Aidan Cross yeeted his very secret journal into the house on Yeet Street, he also intended to yeet his feelings for his best friend, Kai, as far away as possible. To Aidan’s horror, his friends plan a sleepover at the haunted house the very next night. Terrance, Zephyr, and Kai are dead set on exploring local legend Farah Yeet’s creepy mansion. Aidan just wants to survive the night and retrieve his mortifying love story before his friends find it.

When Sol and Connie Blink move to Grand Creek, one of the first people to welcome them is an odd older woman, Fay Holaderry, and her friendly dog, Swift, who carries a very strange bone in his mouth. Sol knows a lot more than the average 11-year-old, so when he identifies the bone as a human femur, he and Connie begin to wonder if their new neighbor is up to no good.

That's what Annabelle discovers on her first day in her brand-new life. Birchwood Middle School is totally different from her old all-girls elementary. In fact, lots of things in Annabelle's life are totally different now that she's back from summer camp. There's mom's new boyfriend, a new house, new friends - even a new puppy that likes to chew on Annabelle's clothes. Well, at least the puppy comes with a leash and a training manual! If only she could say the same for the boys...

Loveable slacker Charlie Joe Jackson is back. This time he’s trying to devise ways to make money - and fast. Charlie Joe’s weekly allowance just isn’t cutting it and he desperately needs money to buy a Botman, the latest gadget to sweep his middle school. Only catch is, he wants to earn the money by doing the least amount of work possible. After several failed attempts, including a near disastrous day of dog-walking, Charlie Joe hatches a plan to throw his own bar mitzvah (no gifts please - checks only) even though he’s not Jewish.

Trouble is brewing in the first book of the Tales from the Five Kingdoms series. The sorceress Lady Lamorna wants a skull-studded gown of deep black velvet but finds her treasure chest empty of gold. That doesn't stop her from kidnapping, blackmailing, and using more than a little magic to get what she needs. Will all her plans be foiled by the heroic Gracie Gillypot, two chatty bats, a gallant prince, the wickedest stepsister ever, a troll with a grudge, and some very Ancient Crones?

Family fun takes center stage in three-time Newbery Honor winner Gary Paulsen’s hilarious novel for middle-school boys. Kevin Spencer is the glue that holds his family together. When his wacky relatives decide to have a double wedding in the backyard, Kevin takes charge. Planning two weddings is a great way to impress his girlfriend, Tina Zabinski, the Most Beautiful and Best-Smelling Girl in the World.