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Leave it to my little brother to come back home announcing he knocked up his fiancee and the wedding has been moved . . . to next month. When he tries to set me up with one of his football buddies, I tell him I'll be bringing my own plus-one. Only problem? I'm hopelessly single.

The Blood Demon, renowned general of said civil war, was tired of all the fighting and politicking that had described the last four decades of her existence. All she really wanted to do now is to go out into the world and see the many lands from her father's stories. This is the story of what happens when you toss a (retired) war machine with somewhat lacking common sense into an unsuspecting world at peace.

Cats are skilled manipulators who can talk you into just about anything without a single word. They can get you to drop whatever you're doing and play with them. They can make you serve their dinner way ahead of schedule. They can get you to sit down right this instant and provide a lap. On the other hand, try getting a cat to do what you want.... While it's hard, persuading a cat is possible. And after that, persuading humans becomes a breeze, and that is what you will learn in this audiobook.

A Signature Performance: Four-time Emmy Award winner David Hyde Pierce delivers an air of lovable self-importance in his rendition of the classic social satire that remains as fresh today as the day it was published.

Would you travel the world with a perfect stranger? Fasten your seat belts for an emotional journey filled with humor and adventure. Bachelor and newscaster Pete McCarney buys two plane tickets for a trip around the world with his girlfriend, but they split up shortly before the trip, and he can't get a refund. In a gutsy last-minute move, Pete goes on social media asking for women with his girlfriend's exact name to join him on the trip. Twenty-one women apply, and the ensuing interview process is both awkward and hilarious.

Written in a voice that’s alternately humorous, lacerating, and wise, Long Division features two interwoven stories. In the first, it’s 2013: after an on-stage meltdown during a nationally televised quiz contest, fourteen-year-old Citoyen “City” Coldson becomes an overnight YouTube celebrity. The next day, he’s sent to stay with his grandmother in the small coastal community of Melahatchie. Before leaving, City is given a strange book without an author called Long Division. He learns that one of the book’s main characters is also named City Coldson—but Long Division is set in 1985.

Tom Wolfe's best-selling modern classic tells the story of Sherman McCoy, an elite Wall Street bond trader who has it all: wealth, power, prestige, a Park Avenue apartment, a beautiful wife, and an even more beautiful mistress - until one wrong turn sends Sherman spiraling downward into a humiliating fall from grace. A car accident in the Bronx involving Sherman, his girlfriend, and two young lower-class Black men sets a match to the incendiary racial and social tensions of 1980s New York City.

It's not every afternoon that an enigmatic, comely blonde named Stilton (like the cheese) walks into the scruffy gin joint where Sammy "Two Toes" Tiffin tends bar. It's love at first sight, but before Sammy can make his move, an air force general named Remy arrives with some urgent business. 'Cause when you need something done, Sammy is the guy to go to; he's got the connections on the street.

'Look after the dead,' said the priests, 'and the dead will look after you.' Wise words in all probability, but a tall order when, like Teppic, you have just become the pharaoh of a small and penniless country rather earlier than expected, and your treasury is unlikely to stretch to the building of a monumental pyramid to honour your dead father. He'd had the best education money could buy of course, but unfortunately the syllabus at the Assassin's Guild in Ankh-Morpork did not cover running a kingdom and basic financial acumen....

The critically acclaimed author of The Radleys shares a clever, heartwarming, and darkly insightful novel about an alien who comes to Earth to save humans from themselves. When an extraterrestrial visitor arrives on Earth, his first impressions of the human species are less than positive. But as time goes on, he starts to realize there may be more to this weird species than he has been led to believe. Eventually, the narrator sees hope and redemption in the humans' imperfections and begins to question the very mission that brought him there.

After a botched Halloween ritual, Madison Spencer, the snarkiest dead girl in the universe, finds herself trapped in Purgatory, otherwise known as Earth. The upside: She is no longer subject to physical limitations (she can pass through doors and walls). The downside: Well, she’s still dead.

If we were as tiny as ants to another being, what would they make of our philosophies? The great satirist Voltaire imagines alien visitors who have opinions. Bedtime stories are narrated by the world's most celebrated voices and written with no beginning, middle, or end so you don't stay up to hear what happens next. They're interesting enough to give your mind something to focus on, but delivered in a way that encourages sleep.

A workhouse orphan, Oliver experiences the terror and brutality of the criminal underworld. His companions, a thief, a whore, a pickpocket, and a fence, are destined for gruesome ends, but Oliver emerges unscathed from the darkness of the underworld.

The star of Parks and Recreation and author of the New York Times best seller Paddle Your Own Canoe returns with a second book that humorously highlights 21 figures from our nation’s history, from her inception to present day - Nick’s personal pantheon of “great Americans". After the great success of his autobiography, Paddle Your Own Canoe, Offerman now focuses on the lives of those who inspired him. From George Washington to Willie Nelson, he describes 21 heroic figures and why they inspire in him such great meaning.

Released from jail on a bogus conviction for protecting a woman from domestic violence, Walter T. Foxx finds himself living in a garage with only his faithful hound, Adolf, still by his side. Assailed by scumbags, wannabes, and posers looking to increase their reputation by besting Walter in a bar fight, he protects himself with the minimum force necessary to win without being sent back to jail for probation violation and probable felony charges. Just when it seems that nothing will go his way, a chance meeting with someone who knows NHB matchmaker, Big Bart Shady, provides Walter with a ...

Thelonious 'Monk' Ellison's once-acclaimed writing career has bottomed out: his latest manuscript has been rejected by seventeen publishers. He seethes on the sidelines of the literary establishment as he watches the meteoric success of We's Lives in Da Ghetto, a first novel by a woman who once visited 'some relatives in Harlem for a couple of days'. Meanwhile, Monk struggles with real family tragedies – his aged mother is fast succumbing to Alzheimer's, and he still grapples with the reverberations of his father's suicide seven years before.

The post-apocalyptic world isn't that bad. Sure, there are mutants. But, for the people of New Hope, daily life isn't so much a struggle of finding food or medicine as it is trying to find a new shortstop for their kickball team. This makes it difficult for a post-apocalyptic warrior to find work. Thankfully, an army full of killers is making its way to the peaceful town and plans to raze it to the ground. Only a fully trained post-apocalyptic nomadic warrior can stop them.

Infamous Happening Beach bar brawler and street warrior Walter Foxx steps in to stop a man from beating his girlfriend one night. Walter wins the fight but the man’s father, who is a police detective, lies and gets him convicted of assault in a trial that has been rigged by an assistant district attorney with political ambitions. The judge on the case makes putting Walter behind bars a personal crusade due to his lengthy arrest record for fighting, With no idea of what he will do with his life, Walter, whose only passion in life is fighting, and who lives by his own personal warrior’s ...

It was just supposed to be one night. No kissing. No feelings. A wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am tangle in the sheets and we go our own ways. Only it's a small town, and I was bound to run into the irresistible Porter Jones again. I just didn't expect it to be at my job interview...which he's conducting.

Breakfast of Champions (1973) provides frantic, scattershot satire and a collage of Vonnegut's obsessions. His recurring cast of characters and American landscape was perhaps the most controversial of his canon; it was felt by many at the time to be a disappointing successor to Slaughterhouse-Five, which had made Vonnegut's literary reputation.