Showing results by publisher "Hachette Audio" in Comedy & Humor

All through college, Blanche Carter was known as the love doctor in her sorority. Now she's parlayed her talent into a unique consulting business: she runs the Online dating profiles of Washington D.C.'s most eligible women. Armed with a battalion of rules, Blanche expertly helps her clients optimize their profiles and ace that first date. But although she'll happily message handsome strangers (and fend off dick pics) for other ladies, Blanche's most important rule is the one she has for herself: no relationships. She's seen too much heartbreak to believe in real love anymore.

An essay from Things I've Learned From the Women Who've Dumped Me.

An essay from Things I've Learned From the Women Who've Dumped Me.

Holly Danner has a complicated relationship with fame. It's not easy being the only cast member of a 1990s song-and-dance show who didn't become famous. When she was 11, she used to do anything for a laugh (or at least a laugh track) on Diego and the Lion's Den. If she talked about it—which she almost never does - Holly might explain how her childhood best friends came to dominate the worlds of pop music, film, and TV while she was relegated to a few near-misses and a nanny gig for her niece. She'd even be telling the truth about making peace with the whole thing years ago.

Well, now you've gone and done it, America. You've elected Donald K. Trump president, and the US will never again be the same! The problem for all of us is that he's got plans - lots of them. The list reads like a bad acid trip: nominating Bernie Madoff for secretary of the Treasury; "Trumpifying" the Constitution; making personal real estate deals with Vladimir Putin; staging a hostile takeover of one of America's great news magazines - to name just a few.

Parodying the soothing incantations of Goodnight Moon by Margaret Wise Brown with illustrations by Clement Hurd, Goodnight Trump opens in the very classy golden bedroom of the White House, where it is bedtime for the 45th President of the United States. In this wickedly funny update to the bedtime classic, listeners can encourage this very stable genius to bid a gentle goodnight to some of his favorite things, including his stuffed animal (what else but a Playboy bunny), his best friends from Russia, his Twitter feed, and his 12-pack of Diet Coke.

Twenty-nine-year-old Anna is smart, vivacious, and in the midst of a complete existential meltdown. Sure, from the outside everything in her life seems to be going just fine: She has a decent job, a devoted BFF, and a lovely boyfriend named Pete with whom she is exactly 70% compatible, according to Kismet, the matchmaking app that everyone in Anna's world uses to find love. Still...isn't there supposed to be more to life than this? Should she settle for a secure and predictable existence with Pete, or risk everything for a life of passion and adventure?

An essay from Things I've Learned From the Women Who've Dumped Me.

After a disastrous war, the failure to catch bin Laden, millions of families who have lost their homes, the Katrina debacle, soaring gas prices feeding record oil company profits, and the largest national debt caused by the biggest spending and borrowing administration in American history, the country has had it with conservatives, right-wingers, and Republicans.

Everybody knows that the schools of the Ivy League - universally touted as the pinnacle of American higher education - have graduated countless political leaders, corporate titans, and global power brokers. But did you know these schools have also produced murderers, warmongers, traitors, plagiarists, slave traders, pederasts, and every other variety of moral reprobate?

When the eldest daughter of a whaling family in New South Wales sets out to write about the particularly difficult season of 1908, the story she tells reveals itself to be far larger than she ever expected. As her family struggles to survive, and as she attempts to navigate sibling rivalries and all-consuming first love, 19-year-old Mary will soon discover a shocking side to these men who hunt the seas and the truth of her own place among them.

Known to millions as an Emmy Award-winning CBS News commentator, Bill Geist may possibly be the last American male to take up golf. In this memoir of a golfer wannabe, he competes in the Bad Golfers Association Tournament - and loses. Golfers and non-golfers alike will be laughing every step of the fairway.

An essay from Things I've Learned From the Women Who've Dumped Me.

Former SNL writer and The New Yorker staffer Patty Marx employs the weapon she wields best - not that weapon; Patty believes in gun control. Instead she uses her sharp-edged humor to tackle the most difficult facet of aging: the mind's decline. From forgetting her brother-in-law's name while he was wearing a nametag to hanging up the phone to look for her phone, Marx confesses to her failures and not only to make you feel better about yourself.

Bob Morris was always the entertainer in his family but not always a perfect son. When he finds his parents approaching the ends of their lives, he begins to see his relationship to them in a whole new light, and it changes his way of thinking.

Nicknamed after the gas mask he and his fellow soldiers will wear as they fight in the Persian Gulf War, Aardvark is a tactical jet crewman headed for combat in this dark comedy. He recounts the days before he is called to fight and the carrier's progress toward its destination in blistering prose. The war is really happening on TV, and everyone on the ship is tuned to CNN. Aardvark wanders the ship with video camera in hand, filming the rule-bound officers, musclehead bunkmates, and porn entrepreneurs in an attempt to tune out reality. But as the ship nears its destination, he is forced to face his growing fears and sense of alienation.

An essay from Things I've Learned From the Women Who've Dumped Me.

An essay from Things I've Learned From the Women Who've Dumped Me.

Want to know how to garden with lobsters? How to sober up? Grow a beard? Or simply how to make a perfect omelet? Look no further. Rather, look backward. Based on the popular blog, Ask the Past is full of the wisdom of the ages - as well as the fad diets, zany pickup lines, and bacon Band-Aids of the ages. Drawn from centuries of antique texts by historian and bibliophile Elizabeth P. Archibald, Ask the Past offers a delightful array of advice both wise and weird.

An essay from Things I've Learned From the Women Who've Dumped Me.