Showing results by author "Joe Lansdale" in All Categories

Dot waitresses on roller skates at the Dairy Bob, doesn't care for smoking, at least partly on account of her dad having never returned from a cigarette run, and carries on the family tradition of philosophizing. Life hasn't done her any favors in her 17 years so far. But if there was ever a heroine built for turning things upside down and seeing what shakes out, it's Dot. Determined to find out who she is and why she's the way she is, an opportunity presents itself when her heretofore-unknown uncle suddenly moves his camper into the front yard.

Hap and Leonard are an unlikely pair - Hap, a self-proclaimed white-trash rebel, and Leonard, a tough-as-nails, black, gay Vietnam vet and Republican - but they're the closest friend either of them has in the world. Hap is celebrating his wedding to his longtime girlfriend, Brett (who is also Hap and Leonard's boss), when their backyard barbecue is interrupted by a couple of Pentecostal white supremacists. They're not too happy to see Leonard, and no one is happy to see them, but they have a problem, and only Hap and Leonard will take the case.

If there’s one thing Hap Collins and Leonard Pine like, it’s trouble - and they especially like getting paid to find it. So when their friend and sometime boss Marvin Harmon asks the boys to look into a cold-case double homicide, they’re happy to oblige. It turns out that both victims were set to inherit some serious money, and one of them ran with an honest-to-goodness vampire cult. The more closely Hap and Leonard look over the crime-scene photos, the more trouble they see.

It begins with an explosion: Sunset Jones kills her husband with a bullet to the brain. Never mind that he was raping her. Pete Jones was constable of the small sawmill town of Camp Rapture ("Camp Rupture" to the local blacks), where no woman, least of all Pete's, refuses her husband what he wants.

May Lynn was once a pretty girl who dreamed of becoming a Hollywood star. Now she's dead, her body dredged up from the Sabine River.

Sue Ellen, May Lynn's strong-willed teenage friend, sets out to dig up May Lynn's body, burn it to ash, and take those ashes to Hollywood to spread around. If May Lynn can't become a star, then at least her ashes will end up in the land of her dreams.

Part of a secret government organization designed to protect civilians, Elvis Presley and a handful of hardcore warriors set out to save the world from an invasion of hive-minded, shape-shifting vampire-like creatures from a dark dimension who have taken up residence in a New Orleans junkyard.

Sunset Jones has just killed her husband. Never mind that he was raping her. Pete Jones was constable of a small sawmill settlement called Camp Rapture where no woman refuses her husband. So everyone is angrily surprised when Sunset becomes the new constable and investigates murders in which her late husband might be implicated. Yet, no one is more surprised than Sunset when the murders lead her, not only to the conclusion of the case, but to a well of inner strength she never knew she had.

Daniel Russell was only 13 years old when his father tried to kill them both by driving their car into Moon Lake. Miraculously surviving the crash - and growing into adulthood - Daniel returns to the site of this traumatic incident in the hopes of recovering his father's car and bones. As he attempts to finally put to rest the memories that have plagued him for years, he discovers something even more shocking among the wreckage that has ties to a twisted web of dark deeds, old grudges, and strange murders.

Thirteen-year-old Stanley Mitchel Jr. spends most of his time helping his family run the town's drive-in movie theater, reading ten-cent comics, and playing with his dog Nub. Life in East Texas circa 1958 is not very exciting until Stanley discovers a stash of crumbling old love letters in a pile of burnt rubble behind the drive-in. As Stanley reads through the letters, he finds himself in the middle of a town mystery and discovering the secrets of his sleepy town.

When Bill and his friends accidentally witness a homicide by two hitmen known only as Fat Boy and Cobra Man, everyone but Bill is slaughtered. After escaping by the skin of his teeth, Bill runs to his Uncle Hank, who reluctantly gets involved, and together, they begin a clandestine takedown of Fat Boy and Cobra Man that leads them to something much darker, much more unspeakable than simple murder or revenge. Waltz of Shadows, a novel not for the feint of heart, is Lansdale at his darkest.

Hap Collins has just returned home from a gig working on an off shore oil rig. With a new perspective on life, Hap wants to change the way he's living, and shoot the straight and narrow. That is, until the man who stole Leonard Pine's boyfriend turns up headless in a ditch and Leonard gets fingered for the murder. Hap vows to clear Leonard's name, but things only get more complicated when Leonard's ex shows up dead, too.

In this rollicking, rollercoaster ride of a novel, Hap Collins and Leonard Pine take a break from their day jobs to search for Florida Grange, Leonard's drop-dead gorgeous lawyer and Hap's former lover, who has vanished in the Klan-infested East Texas town of Grovetown. Before she disappeared, Florida was digging up some dirt behind the mysterious jailhouse death of a legendary black bluesman's son, who was in possession of some priceless blues recordings. To Hap and Leonard, something doesn't smell right.

In the field of country noir—the dark side of rural and small-town America—Lansdale staked his claim to East Texas with The Nightrunners. A '66 Chevy bears down on the countryside, with a carful of vicious teenagers and evil of Biblical proportions, in this terrifying morality tale of sex and violence.

That there is darkness at the heart of the Yuletide season should not surprise. Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol is filled with scenes that are unsettling. The hideous children - Want and Ignorance - beneath the robe of the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come. In the finest versions of this story, the best parts are the terrifying parts. Best-selling author and editor Christopher Golden shares his love for Christmas horror stories with this anthology of all-new short fiction from some of the most talented and original writers of horror today.

Hap Collins is an east Texas redneck, with a liberal bent, and a weakness for Texas women. Leonard Pine is a black, gay, Vietnam veteran. Not who you'd normally pick for best friends but there you go. Together they share an affinity for the martial arts and are a bundle of trouble, but trouble is what they love.

Minnie Polson is dead. Burned to a crisp in a fire so big and bad it had to be deliberate. The only thing worse is that Hap and Leonard could have prevented it. Maybe. Minnie had a feeling she was being targeted, shaken down by some shadowy force. However, when she’d solicited Hap & Leonard, all it took was one off color joke to turn her sour and she’d called them off the investigation. Wracked with a guilty conscience, the two PIs—along with Hap’s fleet-footed wife, Brett—tuck in to the case.

How lucky do you feel? Matthew Sellers revealed the truth of Limbus, Inc. to the world, and in his tales of time travelers, intergalactic beings, and human sacrifice, he thought he had told it all. But the story of the shadowy employment agency that operates on the edge of the abyss, always finding the perfect person for the perfect job - no matter what the cost - had only begun. This shared-world anthology continues the story of Limbus, Inc., as told by five masters of horror, fantasy, and science fiction.

Richard Dane has killed a man. He cannot unhear the firing of the gun or unsee the blood on his living room wall. But everybody in the small town of LaBorde, Texas, knows Dane acted in self-defense. Everybody except Ben Russel, the ex-con father of the small-time criminal who invaded Dane's home. When Russel comes looking for revenge against Dane's family, the two are unexpectedly drawn into a conspiracy that conceals the vilest of crimes.

Even though a midlife crisis just crashed into Hap Collins like a runaway pickup, he's still got his job, he knows his best friend, Leonard Pine, will always be there for him, and, of course, he's got his main squeeze, Brett Sawyer. Things hit a new low, however, when Brett's daughter, Tillie, who's been walking on the wrong side of the law, suddenly stands in need of a rescue. It won't be easy - it never is - but nothing is going to stop Hap and Leonard as they hit the road destined for Hootie Hoot, Oklahoma.

Hap and Leonard return in this incredible, mad-dash thriller, loaded with crack addicts, a serial killer, and a body count. In the second installment of the Hap and Leonard series, Leonard is still nursing the injuries he sustained in the duo's last wild undertaking when he learns that his Uncle Chester has passed. Hap is of course going to be there for his best friend and offers to help clean Uncle Chester's dilapidated house, which Leonard has inherited.