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Stiff Things

By: Brandon Ford, Cori Vidae, Brian Rosenberger, Olive Whittier, Tanker Ray, Kristopher Triana
Narrated by: Joe Hempel
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Publisher's summary

Don't get any on you.

When Comet Press put out the call for submissions for Stiff Things, we said we were ready to ratchet up the eroticism and visceral intensity with hardcore stories that penetrate new depths of psychosexual horror.

But we weren't as ready as we thought we were for the extreme stuff that came flooding in on waves of blood and other bodily fluids we won't mention here. Not that we're complaining.

In other words, we got what we wished for...and more. So much more that calling it an anthology of erotic horror was no longer strong enough.

The stories themselves dictated a new title. And so here are the stories for this upcoming release with a more apt title:

Stiff Things: The Splatterporn Anthology

Modern Celebrity, by Brandon Ford Suckers, by Cori Vidae and Brian Rosenberger One Ear, Always to the Land of the Dead, by Olive Whittier Godf---ed, by Tanker Ray The Solution, by Kristopher Triana Hunter's Moon, by S.C. Hayden If My Face Were Transparent, You'd See the Devil, by Eric LaRocca Charlotte the Harlot, by Shequila Rayne The Penis of the Marquis de Sade, by Andrew Darlington The Extra Mile, by Paul Allih

©2016 Comet Press (P)2016 Comet Press
  • Unabridged Audiobook
  • Categories: Erotica
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What listeners say about Stiff Things

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Edward Lee worthy

Although not written by Edward Lee it was very comparable. Gory, explicit, sickening at times, just down right wrong on many levels! I ,however enjoy these kind of stories tremendously so was thrilled. My only complaint is that it ended so soon, I wanted more stories! Splatterporn is the only fitting name so if that gross or offensive to you , don't read this. This book was gifted to me by the author for an honest review and I loved it but, I guess I'm a little twisted :-). Happy readings.

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3 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars

Fun if you like a little sick in your life...

I was warned that this was going to be very disturbing but it wasn't too gnarly.

Most of the stories were good. They are pretty typical horror anthology topics presented in an "extreme" fashion.

The narration was excellent, and i'm not just saying that because this audiobook was given by the narrator at no cost in exchange for an unbiased review via Audiobook Boom

Overall: If you understand this isn't Stephen King or Dean Koontz, you'll gave a good time.

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1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    3 out of 5 stars

This ain't no feel good rom-com. That's for sure!

*I received a review audio copy of this work from the narrator in exchange for an honest review.

When searching for something that I want to read or listen to, I am not sure what it says about me that I see the title “Stiff Things: The Splatterporn Anthology” and am instantly thinking to myself “Hey, that sounds f*cking great!” My wife would be horrified. Oh, well…she married me. I am equally horrified when she picks up one of her fluffy, lovey, romance novels. Which is exactly what Stiff Things is - a feel good rom-com, except with much more bodily fluid and gore and with zero of the “feel good romance” part. Unless, you count necrophilia, rape, mutilation and torture, to be romance.

I have not heard of most of the authors in this collection and I always find that to be a hit or miss scenario for me, but ST pulls it off and now I have a few new-to-me authors to keep an eye out for. As for the stories themselves, there were some tales that I enjoyed more than others, but overall it was a well put together and entertaining range of format and styles. All of them worthy of the “splatterporn” title.

It has got to be hard to narrate a collection like this one without either laughing or puking. I am a fan of Joe Hemple and he shines in this kind of environment and does not shrink away from doing an audio that must have been extremely difficult at times. Thanks for the review copy, Joe! I can only wonder what others around me would be thinking if they could hear what I was listening to in my car.

If you like your dark fiction a wee messy and a whole lot of dark, this one might be your huckleberry. I am giving this one 3.5 Stars! Good, not great, but worth your time to check out some new up and coming authors. No pun intended.

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2 people found this helpful

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    3 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars
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Disturbing at times

The narrator is excellent. The stories vary in quality but the are a few that were memorable. Not for the squeamish or easily offended, but you should be able to tell that by the name.

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Sadistic Erotic Horror

This is not your typical horror. As I was expecting by the title and cover it contained hardcore porn. The stories were all different and good and the narration was great. It has it all rape, guts, gore, monsters and lots of fluid exchange. Definitively not for everyone especially faint of heart recommend to anyone who enjoys disgusting stories similar to Matt Shaw. I was voluntarily provided this free review copy audiobook by the author, narrator, or publisher. Thank you.

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3 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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Sexy Gruesome

As the title implies there is a lot of gore and a lot of pron, hence splatter pron. Usually these stories are sophomoric and just seem unnecessary or are so over the top that they become really bad. I actually really enjoyed each story. The gore and pron seemed to be needed to tell the story and each piece works well with each other. Never thought I would actually say that about this genre. With this being a collection from different writers each story was completely unique and told quite differently. They were really good stories that I actually enjoyed even with the disturbingly graphic nature of each. They are all sick and twisted and a few of them really were dark and creeped me out knowing that the depravity of some of these stories probably does exist.

While he is a phenomenal narrator, you have to give Joe Hempel credit for being able to read these stories and not miss a beat. I don’t think that I could read this out loud without my voice changing constantly as I grimace or laugh out of nervousness. Not the first time I have heard him narrate some crazy stuff, but this might have set the bar.

I was voluntarily provided this free review copy audiobook by the author, narrator, or publisher.

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1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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Not safe for young ears!

I got this book because of it's narrator. I was in the mood for a good horror book. Joe Hempel is my favorite horror narrator, so I couldn't go wrong with this, right? I should have read the WHOLE title. I just read Stiff Things and saw what looked like a possible zombie on the cover of the book. Boy was I wrong! That being said, I still enjoyed the heck out of this book! lol As always, Joe did a fantastic job with the narration! All of the authors that wrote these stories are new to me and I enjoyed each story. This book is NOT for younger listeners!

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

It's Corn, with a big lump of blood

This is a great anthology, the first story sets a great tone, and some of the tales live up to it; some fall a little short, but none are bad by any means. Bum, bum, bum. That's all I'm going to say. This is a hardcore set of stories, so expect explicit sex and a huge helping of hemorrhaging and death. Don't expect neat and tidy things. This book is messy and downright nasty and in your face, so it ain't for the squeamish.

Hempel hammers the hell out of the dialogue and absolutely does wonders in setting the tone. Given the topics and actions in this book he proves himself to be hardcore as well as knowing horror inside and out.

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Really Disturbing Stuff

Any additional comments?

Very rarely does anything horror bother me but this collection was particularly disturbing in a way that might just be purposely gratuitous. That said, it IS called "Stiff Things: The Splatterporn Anthology" and that really says it all. These are sexually disgusting tales where people frequently die. If you're into that kind of thing, you'll love this book! Joe Hempel is an amazing narrator and never fails to deliver - he makes this gross book worth listening to!

I was voluntarily provided this free review copy audiobook by the author, narrator, or publisher.

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6 people found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Not for the faint of heart

narration was awesome. Definitely not for the faint of heart... You got a strong stomach? this is for you

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3 people found this helpful