Welcome to episode 81! In today's podcast I show you 8 positive signs you have moved on from your ex and how you can use these to guide your journey as a way to measure your progress.

In this episode, we cover:

1. Neutral or Indifferent Feelings: You feel neutral or indifferent about your ex.
   
   
2. No Future Fantasies or Past Romances: You don’t fantasise about them in your future or think about them romantically in the past.
   
   
3. Sense of Closure: You feel a sense of closure about the relationship, even without direct closure from them.
   
   
4. Minimal Thoughts: You rarely think about them, if at all.
   
   
5. No Jealousy: You don’t feel jealous about them being with someone else.
   
   
6. Openness to Dating: You’re open to dating others and don’t compare them to your ex.
   
   
7. Minimal Social Media Checks: You don’t check their social media frequently.
   
   
8. No Desire to Reunite: You wouldn’t want to get back together with them, even if given the chance.

Show links:

Join Breakup to Blessing https://sylviasuwan.com/program

Welcome to episode 80. Since starting this podcast in November last year, I’ve been releasing episodes twice a week. My Monday episodes focus on practical tips and strategies, while Friday episodes offer inspiration for the weekend. Moving forward, I’ll concentrate more on the Monday episodes, providing more depth, and this will be the final Friday bitesized episode for now. Future interviews might bring back the twice-weekly schedule.

Today's episode is essential for anyone trying to move on or heal from heartbreak. Whether your relationship ended recently or it's been months or even years, if you still struggle to move on, this episode is for you.

We delve into the importance of "setting intentions for healing." Without a clear intention, our emotions can lead us astray, especially during heartbreak. These emotions can push us to actions that hinder our healing, like contacting an ex when feeling lonely or upset. Setting a strong intention can help you resist these impulses by making you reflect on the consequences.

I offer an exercise to help set your intention for healing. Grab a pen and paper and list everything that was unhealthy about the relationship. Next, list what you want in a future relationship, referencing what you loved in past ones. Finally, list all the reasons you must heal to be ready for a future relationship. This exercise will give you a tangible reminder of why your future self deserves you to show up and heal.

If you enjoyed this episode, feel free to listen again. Thanks for tuning in, and I’ll catch you next week!

Show Links

Join Breakup to Blessing https://sylviasuwan.com/program

In this episode of Breakup to Blessing, we explore the crucial differences between healing and moving on after a relationship ends. Understanding these distinctions is key to achieving emotional freedom and forming healthier future relationships.

Show Notes:

• The Difference Between Healing and Moving On:

  • Moving on means being free from your ex in terms of attachment and desire. This involves not having any romantic feelings towards them and not letting emotions like resentment, anger, or jealousy prevent you from committing to another relationship.

• Healing:

  • Healing is a more complex process that varies depending on what needs healing. It can take years, especially if the relationship involved abuse, trauma, or long-term emotional pain. Therapy might be necessary to aid in this process.
  • Sometimes, you may not even realise there are unresolved issues until you are in a new relationship and get triggered. These moments reveal what still needs attention.

• Testing Your Healing:

  • The true extent of your healing often becomes apparent when you commit to another person. Real-life situations can test your emotional responses, revealing any lingering trauma. For example, if your ex's unresponsiveness caused you anxiety, this might resurface in a new relationship if not fully addressed.

• Complex Sources of Trauma:

  • It's important to recognise that unresolved trauma may not only stem from your relationship with your ex. It can be a product of various past relationships, including those with family members, which affect your romantic relationships.

• Moving On vs. Complete Healing:

  • Ideally, you should start by moving on from your ex before aiming for complete healing. Waiting to be fully healed before entering a new relationship might mean you never get into one. You can heal while in a relationship, but remember, it's not your partner's job to fix you. The responsibility is yours, though having a supportive partner is crucial.

• Supporting Each Other:

  • A partner's role is also significant. Even if they weren't part of your past, they have a role in supporting you if they want to build a future with you. A committed relationship involves embracing both the good and the difficult parts.

• The Reality of Past Experiences:

  • Everyone has a past, and the older you get, the more likely it is that you and others will have things to work on. There's no such thing as being fully healed and completely free from the past when entering a new relationship.

• Key Takeaway:

  • The minimum you should aim for is to move on from your ex—the person. From there, you can work on healing other aspects.

Show Links:

Join Breakup to Blessing and move on in 12 weeks: https://sylviasuwan.com/program

In Episode 78, we tackle the common and often painful habit of "should have" thinking after a breakup. We explore the tendency to question what we could have done differently and offer constructive ways to address these thoughts. Tune in for a motivational pep talk that encourages growth, self-reflection, and moving forward.

Key Points Discussed:

1. The Trap of "Should Have" Thinking:

   • Common thoughts about what could have been done differently to save the relationship.
   • Examples of self-doubt: being too needy, not needy enough, or appearing ambivalent.

2. Doing Your Best:

   • Emphasis on the belief that we all do the best we can at any given time.
   • Highlighting the futility of beating yourself up over past actions and entertaining what-if scenarios.

3. Constructive Reflection:

   • Using past behaviours as learning opportunities for future relationships.
   • Self-improvement through understanding how certain actions might have affected the relationship.

4. Communicating with Your Ex:

   • When and how to reach out to an ex to express feelings and reflections, without expectations.
   • The importance of doing this to achieve closure and peace of mind.

5. Moving Forward:

   • Encouragement to rest easy knowing you did your best.
   • Motivational message about resilience and the passing nature of pain.

Actionable Takeaways:

• Reflect on past behaviours and identify areas for personal growth.
• Consider whether communicating your reflections to your ex is appropriate for your situation.
• Focus on moving forward with the understanding that you did the best you could at the time.

Final Thoughts: Remember, you are strong and resilient. This phase will pass, and you'll come out of it wiser and more self-aware.

Show Links:

Join Breakup to Blessing: https://sylviasuwan.com/program

In this episode, we dive deep into the feelings of not being "good enough" that often accompany breakups. I'll share personal stories and insights to help you understand that your worth is not determined by someone else's ability to meet your needs. Join us for a transformative discussion on self-worth and relationships.

Key Points Discussed:

1. Upcoming Masterclass:

   • Heal Your Heartbreak Masterclass
     • Date: Thursday, 18th July 7pm AEST
     • Duration: 60 minutes
     • Register at sylviasuwan.com

2. Feeling Not Good Enough:

   • Common feeling post-breakup, especially when the relationship ends unexpectedly
   • Natural to think if we were good enough, they would have chosen to stay

3. Understanding the Reality:

   • Breakups often occur because we cannot meet their current needs and desires
   • It's about where both individuals are in life, not about personal worth

4. Personal Example:

   • My husband and I broke up initially because he wasn't ready to commit to my life with two older children
   • It wasn't about my worth; it was about his readiness and our different life stages

5. Growth and Reconnection:

   • After the breakup, we both grew individually and eventually met each other's needs
   • This time apart allowed us to build a strong foundation for our relationship

6. Relevance to Your Situation:

   • Understand that your ex was not in a place to meet your needs
   • Realising this can help you accept the situation and move forward

7. Self-Worth and Future Relationships:

   • Knowing your needs and ensuring they align with your partner's is crucial
   • Use past relationships as learning experiences to avoid future heartache

8. Taking Action:

   • Have tough conversations early in relationships to ensure alignment
   • Utilise resources and coaching to navigate relationship challenges

9. Affirmation:

   • Replace thoughts of "not being good enough" with "I am good enough for the right person who can meet me where I currently am"

10. Final Thoughts:

    • Reflect on your self-worth and understand it is not tied to others' perceptions
    • Join the Heal Your Heartbreak masterclass for further guidance and support

In today's episode, we address a struggle that many face after a breakup—loneliness. If you're feeling like the sadness will never end or wondering how you'll ever overcome the loneliness, this episode is for you.

Key Points Discussed:

1. Acknowledging Loneliness:

   • The challenge of loneliness often stems from not knowing how to overcome it, making it feel unknown and scary.
   • Simple advice like "go out and meet people" can seem intangible when compared to the tangible relationship you had with your ex.

2. Taking Intentional Action:

   • Use this time to take intentional action and find something more tangible to pursue.
   • Instead of focusing on finding new people, focus on a goal that aligns with your values, passion, and love.

3. Pursuing Meaningful Goals:

   • When you pursue a goal aligned with your passion, you will naturally meet others with similar interests and values.
   • This approach increases the likelihood of forming new friendships and relationships in those environments.

4. Breakup to Blessing Program:

   • In the Breakup to Blessing program, you'll learn how to take intentional action by finding and pursuing a goal in line with your purpose and passion.
   • Pursuing a meaningful goal can reduce feelings of isolation and loneliness.

Action Steps:

• Identify your passion or a long-term goal that excites you.
• Take steps towards pursuing this goal, knowing that it will help you connect with others who share your interests and values.
• Remember, the act of pursuing something meaningful can significantly reduce feelings of loneliness.

Show Links:

• Join my Breakup to Blessing Program
• Heal Your Heartbreak Masterclass Register Here

In this episode, we explore the nature of stress and heightened emotions, inspired by a recent Esther Perel podcast. We delve into the differences between good stress (eustress) and bad stress (distress) and discuss practical strategies for managing these feelings.

Key Topics Discussed:

• Reframing Stress: Inspired by Esther Perel, we discuss why society often views stress negatively and how we can shift this perspective.
• Personal Journey: I share my own experiences balancing career ambitions with personal life and how stress plays a role in growth and development.
• Good Stress vs. Bad Stress:
  • Eustress (Good Stress): Motivating, exciting, improves performance, short-term, associated with positive events.
  • Distress (Bad Stress): Overwhelming, negative impact, long-term, associated with negative events.
• Recognising and Managing Distress:
  • Noticing: Paying attention to physical signs of stress without judgment.
  • Breathing Techniques: Using the 4-7-8 breathing method to calm the body.
  • Reflection: Identifying triggers and understanding the source of stress.
  • Acceptance: Acknowledging stress and engaging in an internal dialogue to alleviate it.

Special Invitation: Don’t forget to sign up for my free live masterclass on 18th July titled "Heal Your Heartbreak". This masterclass will cover:

• What Google isn't telling you that's crucial to healing
• How to heal faster
• Common mistakes that might be slowing your progress
• 5 steps to move on in just 12 weeks

🔗 [Sign Up for the Free Masterclass]

Closing Thoughts: Stress is an inevitable part of life, but by understanding and managing it, we can turn it into a powerful tool for personal growth. Embrace both the good and bad stress, and remember, it’s all part of the journey.

In this episode, we dive into the concept of dualism and how it relates to the experiences of heartbreak and love. We'll explore the idea that heartbreak is a natural part of life and an essential experience for growth and development. I challenge you to consider if you would still choose to experience love, knowing that heartbreak is a potential outcome. By understanding and embracing both sides of the coin, we can fully appreciate the depth of romantic love.

Key Topics Discussed:

• Dualism Explained: Understanding the philosophical concept of dualism and how it applies to our emotional lives.
• Heartbreak as a Natural Experience: Recognizing heartbreak as an inevitable and valuable part of life’s journey.
• Growth Through Heartbreak: How experiencing heartbreak contributes to personal growth and development.
• The Importance of Love: Appreciating the value of having loved deeply, despite the risk of heartbreak.
• The Ultimate Question: If you knew you would have your heart broken but also experience profound love, would you still choose it?
• Missing Out Without Heartbreak: The idea that avoiding heartbreak means missing out on essential aspects of life and love.

Special Invitation: I’m excited to announce a free masterclass titled “Heal Your Heartbreak” on 18th July. In this masterclass, we’ll cover:

• What Google isn't telling you that's crucial to healing
• How to heal faster
• Common mistakes that might be slowing your progress
• 5 steps to move on in just 12 weeks

Sign up for the masterclass and take the first step towards healing and growth. Don’t miss this opportunity to transform your heartbreak into a powerful catalyst for change.

🔗 [Sign Up for the Free Masterclass] https://sylviasuwan.com

Closing Thoughts: Heartbreak, as painful as it is, enriches our lives by making us appreciate the moments of love and joy. It’s a testament to the depth of our emotions and a crucial part of our human experience. Embrace both the highs and the lows, and remember, growth often comes from our most challenging experiences.

Join Breakup to Blessing https://sylviasuwan.com/program