Have you ever asked yourself why so many of us first-gens ended up dating or marrying white people? I have! I see now that our immigrant parents’ survival strategies — keeping your head down, working hard, staying small — shaped ours. And for our generation, that survival often meant assimilation, performing the “white version” of ourselves — at work, in friendships, even in love.

In this intimate gup shup, I want you to know: you are not alone. Naming what’s happening, sharing our experiences together, and unpacking these survival strategies is necessary. I share what it’s like to wake up and realize we were digested, not seen — and how doing this deep work can actually strengthen relationships with white partners who met us as the “white version” of ourselves.

If we are raising biracial kids, this work becomes even more important. The more we understand ourselves, the more we can show them authenticity, self-respect, and the courage to claim their identity fully.

It’s messy. It’s uncomfortable. But it’s necessary. Thriving doesn’t come from performing. It comes from standing fully in your truth, holding space for your partner, and building a foundation for the next generation to grow strong and confident in who they are.

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If you like what you hear please click on "subscribe" or "follow" - It's free and you will get notified when the newest episodes are posted! Check us out on Instagram, X, and YouTube @mfupodcast. Give feedback, middle finger recommendations as well as random thoughts to info@mfupodcast.com. Thank you for listening!

In the spirit of reconciliation, we acknowledge that we live, work and play on the traditional territories of the Blackfoot Confederacy (Siksika, Kainai, Piikani), the Tsuut’ina, the Îyâxe Nakoda Nations, the Métis Nation (Region 3), and all people who make their homes in the Treaty 7 region of Southern Alberta.

You ever meet someone who reminds you that healing doesn’t always happen in therapy — sometimes it happens in the kitchen?

In this episode of Middle Fingers Up, Kiran Randhawa sits down with Bengali home cook, mother, and storyteller Shuraya Bhatti, whose journey from grief to growth will make you rethink what it means to take care of yourself.

After losing her father, Shuraya turned to food — not just to cook, but to connect. What started as a way to honor her roots became a space where strangers walk into her home and leave as community. Together, we talk about the power of slowing down, how ADHD shaped her work and motherhood, and why immigrant women need to stop apologizing for resting.

You’ll walk away thinking about:

How grief can actually spark creativity and connection

The freedom that comes when you let yourself be imperfect

Why taking a long shower isn’t selfish — it’s survival

How storytelling, community, and self-compassion help us heal what we never got to name

This conversation isn’t about cooking — it’s about coming home to yourself.
Raw. Honest. Exactly what you didn’t know you needed today.

Connect with Shuraya:
Find her at shurayaskitchen.ca, on Instagram and Facebook (@shurayaskitchen), and at her monthly cooking classes in Calgary.

Support the show

If you like what you hear please click on "subscribe" or "follow" - It's free and you will get notified when the newest episodes are posted! Check us out on Instagram, X, and YouTube @mfupodcast. Give feedback, middle finger recommendations as well as random thoughts to info@mfupodcast.com. Thank you for listening!

In the spirit of reconciliation, we acknowledge that we live, work and play on the traditional territories of the Blackfoot Confederacy (Siksika, Kainai, Piikani), the Tsuut’ina, the Îyâxe Nakoda Nations, the Métis Nation (Region 3), and all people who make their homes in the Treaty 7 region of Southern Alberta.

Join Kiran Randhawa as she sits down with Mano Mishra, a community leader, yoga teacher, and advocate for women’s health and immigrant voices. Mano shares her journey from Uttar Pradesh, India, to building a new life in Calgary—facing isolation, career setbacks, and the challenges of starting over. Through her story, Mano reveals how volunteering, yoga, and a commitment to kindness helped her overcome depression and create supportive spaces for women navigating menopause, mental health, and life transitions.

In this conversation, Mano discusses breaking cultural taboos, the importance of self-compassion, and why acceptance and gentle movement are essential for well-being at any age. Whether you’re seeking inspiration, practical advice, or a reminder of the power of community, this episode is for you.

Key themes: immigrant resilience, women’s health, menopause, yoga, mental health, breaking stigma, self-compassion, community support.

Instagram: yog_yogstudio

Support the show

If you like what you hear please click on "subscribe" or "follow" - It's free and you will get notified when the newest episodes are posted! Check us out on Instagram, X, and YouTube @mfupodcast. Give feedback, middle finger recommendations as well as random thoughts to info@mfupodcast.com. Thank you for listening!

In the spirit of reconciliation, we acknowledge that we live, work and play on the traditional territories of the Blackfoot Confederacy (Siksika, Kainai, Piikani), the Tsuut’ina, the Îyâxe Nakoda Nations, the Métis Nation (Region 3), and all people who make their homes in the Treaty 7 region of Southern Alberta.

In this episode of Middle Fingers Up, host Kiran Randhawa sits down with community consultant, speaker, and Catalyst podcast host Nike Aurea for a deep dive into what it truly means to build and belong in community—beyond convenience and into real responsibility. As a first-generation daughter of West African immigrants, Nike shares how her upbringing in Atlanta shaped her unapologetic approach to advocacy and self-advocacy. "I always knew where I was from. I always knew about the food, the culture, language and with that also the history," she reflects, crediting her parents for instilling a strong sense of self through intentional storytelling and exposure to global histories, like films on South African apartheid.

The conversation explores the intersections of education, care, and strategy, challenging listeners to rethink belonging. Nike disrupts common narratives around "mammification"—the expectation placed on Black women to carry endless emotional labor.

Tune in for an inspiring discussion on unlearning stereotypes, setting boundaries with grace, and why "clarity is care" in fostering thriving spaces. If you've ever questioned your role in community or felt the weight of unspoken expectations, this episode will leave you empowered to show up authentically.

Instagram: nikeaurea

Support the show

If you like what you hear please click on "subscribe" or "follow" - It's free and you will get notified when the newest episodes are posted! Check us out on Instagram, X, and YouTube @mfupodcast. Give feedback, middle finger recommendations as well as random thoughts to info@mfupodcast.com. Thank you for listening!

In the spirit of reconciliation, we acknowledge that we live, work and play on the traditional territories of the Blackfoot Confederacy (Siksika, Kainai, Piikani), the Tsuut’ina, the Îyâxe Nakoda Nations, the Métis Nation (Region 3), and all people who make their homes in the Treaty 7 region of Southern Alberta.

Join host Kiran Randhawa on Middle Fingers Up for a heartfelt conversation with Shagun Sharma, registered psychotherapist and founder of Lotus Pathways. In this episode, Shagun shares her journey from a curious six-year-old in downtown Toronto's Cabbagetown neighborhood—where she first witnessed the realities of homelessness and mental health struggles—to becoming a trailblazer in culturally sensitive therapy.

"I wanted to be a therapist since I was six years old,"

Shagun reflects, inspired by her older sister's guidance and her own immigrant roots as a South Asian woman. Together, they dive into dismantling mental health stigmas in immigrant and South Asian communities, exploring barriers like self-judgment, high costs, and generational pressures that prioritize "protection, protection, protection" over open emotional discussions.

Shagun emphasizes creating "spaces that are culturally safe and validating where people can genuinely begin to untangle" intergenerational burdens, while addressing how social media and collective cultural norms often leave individuals feeling isolated. Whether you're navigating your own mental health path or seeking to understand systemic challenges, this episode offers validating insights on building rapport, normalizing therapy, and fostering community support. Tune in for an honest look at why "get over it" narratives persist and how we can collectively tackle them.

Instagram: lotuspathways

Linktr.ee: lotuspathways

Website: lotuspathwayspsychotherapy.com

Support the show

If you like what you hear please click on "subscribe" or "follow" - It's free and you will get notified when the newest episodes are posted! Check us out on Instagram, X, and YouTube @mfupodcast. Give feedback, middle finger recommendations as well as random thoughts to info@mfupodcast.com. Thank you for listening!

In the spirit of reconciliation, we acknowledge that we live, work and play on the traditional territories of the Blackfoot Confederacy (Siksika, Kainai, Piikani), the Tsuut’ina, the Îyâxe Nakoda Nations, the Métis Nation (Region 3), and all people who make their homes in the Treaty 7 region of Southern Alberta.

In this episode of Middle Fingers Up, host Kiran Randhawa sits down with Kam Bassier—fitness and life coach, father, husband, and self-proclaimed student of life—to unpack the emotional and physical toll of burnout and the radical power of rest.

Kam’s story begins in Guyana, shaped by intergenerational trauma, hustle culture, and the immigrant grind. But what makes this conversation unforgettable is Kam’s vulnerability and wisdom as he reflects on his journey from survival mode to intentional living.

Together, Kiran and Kam explore how our childhood scripts—especially those rooted in immigrant households—shape our adult lives. From the glorification of hustle to the shame around rest, Kam challenges listeners to rethink what it means to be productive.

This episode is a masterclass in nervous system regulation, inner child work, and redefining self-worth. Kam shares tangible tools for getting unstuck, including the power of sleep, body scans, and intentional boundaries.

Whether you’re a burnt-out parent, a high-achieving professional, or someone simply trying to feel better in your body, this conversation will leave you full—like a nourishing meal that doesn’t need dessert.

What You’ll Learn:

• Why rest is harder than hustle—and how to change that
• How immigrant narratives shape our relationship with work
• The link between nervous system regulation and emotional resilience
• Practical ways to disrupt your daily patterns and reclaim your energy
• Why healing requires conscious engagement, not just reflection

Guest Info: Follow Kam Bassier on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube @kambassier. Kam helps burnt-out adults build sustainable routines that support their physical, emotional, and relational health.

Support the show

If you like what you hear please click on "subscribe" or "follow" - It's free and you will get notified when the newest episodes are posted! Check us out on Instagram, X, and YouTube @mfupodcast. Give feedback, middle finger recommendations as well as random thoughts to info@mfupodcast.com. Thank you for listening!

In the spirit of reconciliation, we acknowledge that we live, work and play on the traditional territories of the Blackfoot Confederacy (Siksika, Kainai, Piikani), the Tsuut’ina, the Îyâxe Nakoda Nations, the Métis Nation (Region 3), and all people who make their homes in the Treaty 7 region of Southern Alberta.

In this episode of Middle Fingers Up, host Kiran Randhawa sits down with multi-award-winning author and speaker Kalyani Pardeshi to unpack the hidden layers of self-bullying, inner critics, and the emotional legacy of growing up in immigrant households. From confronting toxic family dynamics to redefining success and self-worth, Kalyani shares raw, relatable stories and transformative insights that challenge cultural norms and empower listeners to reclaim their mental wellness.
Whether you're navigating guilt, burnout, or the pressure to perform, this conversation offers a compassionate roadmap to healing and growth. As Kalyani says, “You’re not what you do. You’re not what you have. If you keep seeking your worth in that, you’re setting yourself up for a lifetime of unhappiness.”

Books:

"Beyond The Inner Critic - Identify where you are being the villan in your own story"

"UNBULLIED"- 14 techniques to silence the critics internally and externally

Instagram: kalyanispeaks049

Linktree @kalyanispeaks

Support the show

If you like what you hear please click on "subscribe" or "follow" - It's free and you will get notified when the newest episodes are posted! Check us out on Instagram, X, and YouTube @mfupodcast. Give feedback, middle finger recommendations as well as random thoughts to info@mfupodcast.com. Thank you for listening!

In the spirit of reconciliation, we acknowledge that we live, work and play on the traditional territories of the Blackfoot Confederacy (Siksika, Kainai, Piikani), the Tsuut’ina, the Îyâxe Nakoda Nations, the Métis Nation (Region 3), and all people who make their homes in the Treaty 7 region of Southern Alberta.

This isn’t just another parenting conversation. It’s a raw, honest look at what happens when the triggers of childhood meet the triggers of parenting.

In this episode, I sit down with Shuraya Akhter Bhatti—a Bengali home cook, curry class entertainer, and soulful storyteller with a gift for making the hard stuff human. Through the beautiful metaphor of a tiffin, we unpack the emotional layers we all carry: trauma, transition, and the healing work we owe ourselves and our kids.

From navigating ADHD at home to breaking free from intergenerational cycles, Shuraya doesn’t hold back. “Kids are walking trigger bombs,” she says, “and every parent will be triggered in some way. Let’s talk about it.”

This conversation will make you laugh, make you think, and maybe even make you cry. But more importantly—it will remind you that healing is possible, and repair is always within reach.

• “You can’t heal your kids if you haven’t started healing yourself.”
• “We’re not just parenting our kids—we’re parenting ourselves and our parents.”
• “Be kind. Start with yourself.”

If you’ve ever wondered why parenting feels so hard—or how to actually build more empathy, regulation, and connection in your home—this episode is your tiffin. Full of wisdom. Full of heart. Full of truth.

Instagram: @shurayaskitchen

Support the show

If you like what you hear please click on "subscribe" or "follow" - It's free and you will get notified when the newest episodes are posted! Check us out on Instagram, X, and YouTube @mfupodcast. Give feedback, middle finger recommendations as well as random thoughts to info@mfupodcast.com. Thank you for listening!

In the spirit of reconciliation, we acknowledge that we live, work and play on the traditional territories of the Blackfoot Confederacy (Siksika, Kainai, Piikani), the Tsuut’ina, the Îyâxe Nakoda Nations, the Métis Nation (Region 3), and all people who make their homes in the Treaty 7 region of Southern Alberta.