Today, you're going to use 3 evidence-based IFS principles to learn how to quit porn by making friends with the addict part of your brain.

IFS (Internal Family Systems) therapy is a powerful framework for overcoming addiction. It takes a non-traditional approach that has been studied and utilized for 40 years, and has been shown to be highly effective.

Using this approach, you'll discover how to make peace with the part of you that has consistently led you to porn addiction - this part that creates destruction in your life right now.

You’re going to learn how to make it your ally, your best friend, something that actually helps you rather than hurts you.

If that sounds strange, don't worry—I’ll explain exactly how this works.

If you’re like I was during the many years I was addicted to porn, you’ve likely become tired and frustrated with this addict part of your brain that keeps acting against you. You've been fighting it and trying to shut it up.

In order for you to quit porn, your frustration and fighting needs to end, and you need to become connected with this addict part of you, and see it with more clarity and understanding. Only then can you redirect it down a positive path, and overcome porn addiction.

The label “Porn Addict” does not define you

You’re a good man. I want to say that upfront. I remember feeling worthless, like I was a terrible person and that's why I couldn't stop porn.

You might think, "Jake, that's not true. I'm a bad person. Look at everything I've done." I used to tell myself those things too. There was a time I wanted to take my own life. And I came out of it, and am a better person because of those struggles.

You just have some habits that aren’t serving you or the people around you. You have this part of you, this addict part, that takes control sometimes. Instead of the real you—the good you—being in the driver’s seat.

This addict part takes over, leaving you in the backseat wondering, “What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I control myself? Why do I keep doing this to my wife and kids? Why do I know better but not do better?”

You are destined for a greater life. You just need the right tools and strategies.

You'll learn them in today's episode.


BUILD THE NO MORE PORN LIFESTYLE

Join My Email Newsletter

FREE EBOOK to help you break free from porn

The Intensive Porn Addiction Recovery Program

Set Up a FREE Evaluation Call with Jake

MORE ARTICLES

Stop Porn Cravings | 7 Tools to Overcome Fantasizing & Lust Habits

The 4 Root Causes of Porn Addiction

How to Help Someone with a Porn Addiction in 3 Steps

8 Rules to Get You 3 Months Sober from Porn

Trauma, Attachment, Shame & Porn Addiction

The Porn Addiction Funnel: How To Break Porn Addiction

No More Desire

What if you had a mental toolbelt to stop porn cravings and overcome fantasizing and lust habits? Today, I’m going to give you exactly that.

By the end of this episode, you will have 7 tools to overcome fantasizing and lust, so you can beat porn cravings and stop wanting pornography. But - just like anything - in order for them to work, you have to apply them.

Imagine you’re at the gym and you see a girl in her gym outfit, or you’re browsing online and see some ad pop up with a woman in a bathing suit, or you’re walkin’ down the street and you see a girl with short-shorts and cleavage.

Many of these situations can be very challenging when you’ve struggled with porn addiction and you’re trying to get sober. You may feel sick of these triggers popping up around you, and you may think if you can just avoid them then you won’t be tempted to watch porn.

But the answer to handling these triggers, and working through porn cravings, fantasizing, and lust is not avoidance. Instead, it’s about having mental strategies to think through triggers and cravings.

It’s about building psychological habits - new mental processes - to replace the default mental processes that are leading to porn relapse.

It’s easy to let the mind wander and focus on lust and fantasies. Most men do this. But these thoughts don’t serve you or those around you, nor do they help you become the strong, capable, and courageous man, husband, and father that you want to be.

Overcoming these default mental habits of fantasizing, lust, and craving is challenging (I won’t lie!), but it’s also something that anyone can do. It’s something that you can do. I’ll show you how.

Blog Article: Stop Porn Cravings | 7 Tools to Overcome Fantasizing & Lust Habits

BUILD THE NO MORE PORN LIFESTYLE

Join My Email Newsletter

FREE EBOOK to help you break free from porn

The Intensive Porn Addiction Recovery Program

Set Up a FREE Evaluation Call with Jake

MORE EPISODES

3 Thought Strategies to Prevent Porn Addiction and Cravings

The 4 Root Causes of Porn Addiction

How to Help Someone with a Porn Addiction in 3 Steps

8 Rules to Get You 3 Months Sober from Porn

Trauma, Attachment, Shame & Porn Addiction

The Porn Addiction Funnel: How To Break Porn Addiction

No More Desire

When my porn addiction recovery story started a decade ago, I believed that the cravings for porn were my main enemy. I thought that if I could just resist these urges, I’d be free.

However, through years of working with men around the world and diving deep into my own experiences, I've come to understand that these cravings are merely symptoms of deeper issues.

The true battle lies in preventing these cravings from emerging in the first place.

Today, I share how to overcome porn addiction using practical, in-the-trenches solutions and strategies to not only stop porn addiction symptoms, but remove the desire for porn.

You will come away understanding the types of thoughts and emotions that fuel cravings for porn, as well as how to break porn addiction using daily practices that anyone can learn and apply.

BUILD THE NO MORE PORN LIFESTYLE

• Join My Email List
• FREE EBOOK to help you break free from porn
• Intensive Porn Addiction Recovery Program
• Set Up a Free Evaluation Call with Jake

MORE EPISODES

• The 4 Root Causes of Porn Addiction
• How to Help Someone with a Porn Addiction in 3 Steps
• 8 Rules to Get You 3 Months Sober from Porn
• Trauma, Attachment, Shame & Porn Addiction
• The Porn Addiction Funnel: How To Break the Addiction Cycle
• Pleasure Conditioning: Decrease Porn Cravings
• More Episodes

No More Desire

One of the pillars for building a recovery mindset and lifestyle to overcome porn addiction is connection - or in other words having positive, fulfilling relationships.

In today’s episode, I speak with Chris Reavis, professional coach, speaker, and author in the corporate space. He teaches how we can enjoy work more and build better corporate relationships with co-workers and leaders using brain science and evidence-based methods.

As work is where we may spend about 1/3rd of our life, it’s important that we have good relationships and interactions with coworkers, bosses, clients, etc… If we are in a toxic environment, or we are constantly in conflict, or simply feeling lonely or disconnected, this contributes to the isolated, detached, chaotic thought patterns and beliefs that contribute to pornography addiction and other addictions.

Building new habits to improve our work relationships and satisfaction contributes to the No More Porn Lifestyle and Mindset, and experiencing overall greater happiness, peace, and well-being.

ABOUT CHRIS REAVIS

Chris helps leaders turn naysayers into innovators, using proven neuroscience. He is a tech leader and 3-time bestselling author that loves removing obstacles from the workplace.

He teaches others to find what’s causing their work issues and how to overcome them. If it’s time to leave, he helps them take the next best steps. If it’s time for a side hustle, Chris can teach them what works.

Chris shares 13 evidence-based approaches that anyone can use to enjoy a much happier and more productive career.

Chris is a multiple bestselling author, including the books Unleashed and Hashrate. He lives with his wife, son, and wonder pup Penelope in the Pacific Northwest.

Check out Chris’s Free Mini-Course: How to Help Leaders Say "Yes" to Your Idea.

You can grab Chris’s Best-Selling Book: Boost Your Bullsh*t Resilience at Work at thebsbook.com or on Amazon.

Blog - How You Can Enjoy Work More

BUILD THE NO MORE PORN LIFESTYLE

• Join My Email List
• FREE EBOOK to help you break free from porn
• Intensive Porn Addiction Recovery Program
• Set Up a Free Evaluation Call with Jake

MORE EPISODES

• The 4 Root Causes of Porn Addiction
• 8 Rules to Get You 3 Months Sober from Porn
• How to Help Someone with a Porn Addiction in 3 Steps
• More Episodes

No More Desire

Do you find yourself constantly asking, “Why do I struggle with porn addiction?” Or, ”Why is my spouse / child addicted to porn?”

There are a lot of messages out there that will tell you porn addiction is about sexual urges. It’s about having a high libido. It’s about a desire for sex that isn’t being fulfilled. If a man wants porn then it’s his spouse’s responsibility to make sure he’s satisfied, and if he’s satisfied then he won’t want porn.

I have news for you. That’s a bunch of BS.

While natural sexual feelings do play a role in the desire for porn, porn addiction is not about sexual urges. It’s not about high libido. And it sure as heck isn’t about an addict’s spouse not “delivering the goods.”

And I know that’s hard to hear, and the human brain and biology can be VERY convincing. It will tell you that you crave porn because you want sex and if you can juuuust get that craving filled in just the right way then you won’t want porn anymore.

Let me tell you something else. A vast majority of the people I work with are married…

And let me tell you something else, else. If I had a dime for every time someone has said “I just thought once I got married that all this would go away. I thought once I got married, I wouldn’t need porn anymore.” And that’s not how it works.

Why?

Today we’re going to talk about what actually causes porn addiction. Specifically we’ll talk about the 4 root causes of porn addiction. Why we develop a porn addiction, what keeps us hooked, and how to overcome porn addiction.

BUILD THE NO MORE PORN LIFESTYLE

• Join My Email List
• FREE EBOOK to help you break free from porn
• Intensive Porn Addiction Recovery Program
• Set Up a Free Evaluation Call with Jake

MORE EPISODES

• The Porn Addiction Funnel: How To Break the Addiction Cycle
• Pleasure Conditioning: Decrease Porn Cravings
• Keys for Confidence, Self-Worth, and Porn Addiction Recovery
• 8 Rules to Get You 3 Months Sober from Porn
• Trauma, Attachment, Shame & Porn Addiction
• "I'm triggered when I see a girl dressed immodestly" | How to overcome triggers and lustful thoughts with ease
• How to Help Someone with a Porn Addiction in 3 Steps
• More Episodes

No More Desire

If you're battling with pornography addiction, you're not alone, and there's a way out. I've been there, and I've come through the other side. Let's talk about how you can break free from porn addiction and reclaim your life.

In today’s episode, I speak with Mark Collins, a Coach and Mentor who helps men uncover their true identity so they can build confidence, self-worth, and a life of deep meaning.

Through my years of addiction, I often wondered what was driving this destructive behavior. For a long time, I thought it was simply sexual urges and desires; that I had a high libido and a need that had to be filled.

How wrong I was.

What Mark and I discussed can make a major difference for you in your path to overcome porn addiction.

BUILD THE NO MORE PORN LIFESTYLE

• Join My Email List
• DOWNLOAD MY FREE EBOOK to help you break free from porn
• Intensive Porn Addiction Recovery Program
• Set Up a Free Call with Jake

MARK COLLINS: FREEDOM FOR LIFE

• BOOK: Life Mastery | Live by Design, Not by Default
• Freedom for Life Website
• Facebook
• Instagram
• YouTube Channel @_freedomforlife_

MORE EPISODES

• 8 Rules to Get You 3 Months Sober from Porn
• Jeanine Gardner | Trauma, Attachment, Shame & Porn Addiction
• "I'm triggered when I see a girl dressed immodestly" | How to overcome triggers and lustful thoughts with ease
• How to Help Someone with a Porn Addiction in 3 Steps
• More Episodes

No More Desire

Do you find yourself struggling to quit porn, barely making it past the first week or even the first few days? Today, I’m going to give you 8 rules to get you 3-months sober from porn.

I remember how daunting it felt when I was grappling with a decade-long pornography addiction.

I constantly wondered what would finally help me overcome this addiction for good. If only I could reach three months of sobriety, I believed, it would transform my life!

Today, I want to share eight rules that helped me get three months sober from porn, launching me into a life of long-term sobriety.

Blog Article: 8 Rules to Get You 3-Months Sober from Porn

OTHER EPISODES:

Trauma, Attachment, Shame & Porn Addiction with Therapist Jeanine Gardner from Circles of Grace

"I'm triggered when I see a girl dressed immodestly" | How to overcome triggers and lustful thoughts with ease

How to Help Someone with a Porn Addiction in 3 Steps

BUILD THE NO MORE PORN LIFESTYLE:

Join My Email List

DOWNLOAD MY FREE EBOOK to help you break free from porn

Learn More About My Intensive Porn Addiction Recovery Program

More Episodes

No More Desire

Recently, I had the pleasure of sitting down with Therapist Jeanine Gardner, from Circles of Grace, part of LifeStar Salt Lake. She shared extremely valuable insights about how trauma, attachment, shame, and porn addiction are all interconnected, and how we can heal trauma and insecure attachments to overcome porn addiction.

In this episode we cover:

• Why porn addiction (and all addiction) is very misunderstood
• How attachment wounds, trauma, and shame fuel porn addiction
• Epigenetics: How trauma is passed down through genetics multiple generations
• Inherited shame and how we can heal it
• Recognizing feelings as neither good nor bad
• The importance of the nervous system and how it plays into trauma and addiction
• Making the unconscious conscious
• Overcoming escape and avoidant behaviors that harm us.

Jeanine Gardner is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Certified Clinical Trauma Professional with Circles of Grace. She holds a Masters in Social Work from Utah Valley University, and is trained in multiple specialties including Trauma Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Psychodrama and Experiential Therapy, Gottman’s methods, Somatic EMDR, and more.

Jeanine Gardner’s approach to therapy is compassion-focused, warm, direct, and research-based. She seeks to create safety as she walks with her clients on their healing journey.

To learn more about Jeanine Gardner and Circles of Grace, go to Circlesofgrace.health. There you can discover therapy services and life-changing workshops and retreats to help you heal relationships and overcome mental and emotional trauma.

Follow Circles of Grace on Facebook
Follow Circles of Grace on Instagram

No More Desire

Join My Email List

DOWNLOAD MY FREE EBOOK to help you break free from porn

Learn More About My Intensive Porn Addiction Recovery Program

Blog article: Trauma, Attachment, Shame & Porn Addiction | Jeanine Gardner with Circles of Grace

More Episodes

No More Desire