The War for Kindness

Building Empathy in a Fractured World

By: Jamil Zaki

Narrated by: Jamil Zaki

“In this masterpiece, Jamil Zaki weaves together the very latest science with stories that will stay in your heart forever.”—Angela Duckworth, author of Grit

Don’t miss Jamil Zaki’s TED Talk, “We’re experiencing an empathy shortage, but we can fix it together,” online now.

Empathy is in short supply. We struggle to understand people who aren’t like us, but find it easy to hate them. Studies show that we are less caring than we were even thirty years ago. In 2006, Barack Obama said that the United States was suffering from an “empathy deficit.” Since then, things seem to have only gotten worse.

It doesn’t have to be this way. In this groundbreaking book, Jamil Zaki shares cutting-edge research, including experiments from his own lab, showing that empathy is not a fixed trait—something we’re born with or not—but rather a skill that can be strengthened through effort. He also tells the stories of people who embody this new perspective, fighting for kindness in the most difficult of circumstances. We meet a former neo-Nazi who is now helping to extract people from hate groups, ex-prisoners discussing novels with the judge who sentenced them, Washington police officers changing their culture to decrease violence among their ranks, and NICU nurses fine-tuning their empathy so that they don’t succumb to burnout.

Written with clarity and passion, The War for Kindness is an inspiring call to action. The future may depend on whether we accept the challenge.

Praise for The War for Kindness

“A wide-ranging practical guide to making the world better.”—NPR

“Relating anecdotes and test cases from his fellow researchers, news events and the imaginary world of literature and entertainment, Zaki makes a vital case for ‘fighting for kindness.’ . . . If he’s right—and after reading The War for Kindness, you’ll probably think so—Zaki’s work is right on time.” —San Francisco Chronicle

“In this landmark book, Jamil Zaki gives us a revolutionary perspective on empathy: Empathy can be developed, and, when it is, people, relationships, organizations, and cultures are changed.”—Carol Dweck, author of Mindset

Critic reviews

“Lucid, stimulating . . . [The War for Kindness aims] to challenge antiquated views of the brain and human behavior. . . . Zaki issues a call for concerted action to build empathy in a world he sees as fractured and threatened by escalating tribalism, cruelty, and isolation.”—The American Scholar

“Zaki is a compelling writer, and even an android could not help but respond to his prose. . . . Zaki’s goals go beyond sharing the science of empathy with the masses. He hopes to inspire people to actually practice more kindness in their lives.”—Science

“Zaki’s heart-of-the-matter writing style relates complex emotion in clear, direct language. He walks his own fine line, between significant research findings and his personal emotional and empathic responses. His research and his book are worthy.”—Booklist

“With alarming evidence of our society's rapidly diminishing empathy, Zaki draws on decades of clinical research, along with experiments conducted at his lab, to consider the forces that impact our modern condition . . . an urgent message.”—Kirkus Reviews

“Jamil Zaki is one of the brightest lights in psychology, and in this gripping book he shows that kindness is not a sign of weakness but a source of strength.”—Adam Grant, author of Give and Take and Originals

“Beautifully written and deeply felt, The War for Kindness is an outstanding scientific analysis of our species’ best and last hope for survival—our unique ability to care about each other.”—Daniel Gilbert, author of Stumbling on Happiness

“A beautifully written, uplifting, scientifically impeccable book.”—Robert Sapolsky, author of Behave

“Seamlessly stitching together his own experiences with fascinating stories and research from around the globe, Jamil lays out the irrefutable evidence for what we may already instinctively be sensing . . . that in these uncertain times, our ability to cultivate empathy for one another is not only possible, it’s necessary. A must read for anyone willing to peek under the hood of the human heart.”—Amanda Palmer

everyone should read this

thank you for taking the time to explain empathy in a way that is educational and also from the heart and soul of who we are and can be.

State of Contemplation

There were moments that I laughed, there were moments when I was frustrated, there were moments when I was physically angry, and there were moments I cried. Although the emotions varied all of those moments brought me to a contemplative state.

I have recommended this book to several others; those working in healthcare, those working in social justice, and anyone else I know that wants to facilitate change for us all.

Thank you for the time and study, thank you for acknowledging those that are working to make changes and those that may need to be striving harder. I did a self check several times while listening to the book; even skipped backwards to let things sink in.

Uplifting mix of psychology and humanization

Truly enjoyed this book - I met the author at a conference and he’s just as kind in person as he sounds in the book.

A great read on empathy in our lives

A truly excellent read that explores empathy in its different forms in various contexts. The book is written for the public and is both engaging and chock-full of relevant and accessible examples. Of particular interest for those into (de)polarisation, conflict resolution, and self-development.

The audiobook is read by the author - he does a great job.

Factors provided that promote or demote kindness

I appreciated the specificity of kindness-increasing/decreasing factors including related studies and their validity. I can imagine weaving them into my experience. I would certainly buy the workbook if it the author writes one!