Allow Me to Retort
A Black Guy's Guide to the Constitution
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Narrated by:
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Elie Mystal
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By:
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Elie Mystal
About this listen
MSNBC legal commentator Elie Mystal thinks that Republicans are wrong about the law almost all of the time. Now, instead of talking about this on cable news, Mystal explains why in his first book.
“After reading Allow Me to Retort, I want Elie Mystal to explain everything I don’t understand - quantum astrophysics, the infield fly rule, why people think Bob Dylan is a good singer....” (Michael Harriot, The Root)
Allow Me to Retort is an easily digestible argument about what rights we have, what rights Republicans are trying to take away, and how to stop them. Mystal explains how to protect the rights of women and people of color instead of cowering to the absolutism of gun owners and bigots. He explains the legal way to stop everything from police brutality to political gerrymandering, just by changing a few judges and justices. He strips out all of the fancy jargon conservatives like to hide behind and lays bare the truth of their project to keep America forever tethered to its slaveholding past.
Mystal brings his trademark humor, expertise, and rhetorical flair to explain concepts like substantive due process and the right for the LGBTQ community to buy a cake, and to arm listeners with the knowledge to defend themselves against conservatives who want everybody to live under the yoke of 18th-century White men. The same tactics Mystal uses to defend the idea of a fair and equal society on MSNBC and CNN are in this book, for anybody who wants to deploy them on social media.
You don’t need to be a legal scholar to understand your own rights. You don’t need to accept the “Whites only” theory of equality pushed by conservative judges. You can listen to this book to understand that the Constitution is trash but doesn’t have to be.
©2022 Elie Mystal (P)2022 Audible, Inc.Listeners also enjoyed...
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The Supreme Court's rulings have shaped American life and justice and allowed Americans to retain basic freedoms such as privacy, free speech, and the right to a fair trial. This revised and updated edition of Michael G. Trachtman's riveting work includes 10 important cases from 2010 to 2015.
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Nice review overall.
- By "freeindeed4ever" on 02-10-20
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Bullies
- How the Left's Culture of Fear and Intimidation Silences Americans
- By: Ben Shapiro
- Narrated by: Charles Constant
- Length: 9 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Ben Shapiro uncovers the simple strategy used by liberals and their friends in the media: bully the living hell out of conservatives. Play the race card, the class card, the sexism card. Use any and every means at your disposal to demonize your opposition - to shut them up. Then pretend that such bullying is justified because, after all, conservatives are the true bullies and need to be taught a lesson for their intolerance.
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i wish shapiro narrated it
- By michelle on 03-25-17
By: Ben Shapiro
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Lies the Government Told You
- Myth, Power, and Deception in American History
- By: Andrew P. Napolitano
- Narrated by: Andrew Napolitano
- Length: 11 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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In Lies the Government Told You, Judge Andrew P. Napolitano reveals how America's freedom, as guaranteed by the US Constitution, has been forfeited by a government more protective of its own power than its obligations to preserve our individual liberties.
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A Must Read America 🇺🇸
- By Jamie Schaible on 05-30-23
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The Constitution Today
- Timeless Lessons for the Issues of Our Era
- By: Akhil Reed Amar
- Narrated by: Mike Chamberlain
- Length: 19 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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When the stories that lead our daily news involve momentous constitutional questions, present-minded journalists and busy citizens cannot always see the stakes clearly. In The Constitution Today, Akhil Reed Amar, America's preeminent constitutional scholar, considers the biggest and most bitterly contested debates of the last two decades. He shows how the Constitution's text, history, and structure are a crucial repository of collective wisdom, providing specific rules and grand themes relevant to every organ of the American body politic.
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Amar is a Brilliant Arguer
- By MJ Schirmer on 11-16-16
By: Akhil Reed Amar
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We the People
- A Progressive Reading of the Constitution for the Twenty-First Century
- By: Erwin Chemerinsky
- Narrated by: Peter Berkrot
- Length: 7 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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From gun control to reproductive health, a conservative Supreme Court will reshape the lives of all Americans for decades to come. The time to develop and defend a progressive vision of the US Constitution that protects the rights of all people is now.
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Hypocritical evaluation of the constitution
- By surya on 03-23-19
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Gunfight
- The Battle over the Right to Bear Arms in America
- By: Adam Winkler
- Narrated by: John McLain
- Length: 12 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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A provocative history that reveals how guns - not abortion, race, or religion - are at the heart of America's cultural divide. Gunfight promises to be a seminal work in its examination of America's four-centuries-long political battle over gun control and the right to bear arms. Adam Winkler uses the landmark 2008 case District of Columbia v. Heller, which invalidated a law banning handguns in the nation's capital, as a springboard for a groundbreaking historical narrative.
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Excellent, well researched and thought provoking.
- By wesley felice on 04-02-18
By: Adam Winkler
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Con Job
- How Democrats Gave Us Crime, Sanctuary Cities, Abortion Profiteering, and Racial Division
- By: Crystal Wright
- Narrated by: Crystal Wright
- Length: 9 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Black voters have overwhelmingly supported the Democratic Party for the last fifty years - and for their loyalty, black Americans have been rewarded with worsening schools, collapsed families, skyrocketed incarceration rates, disappearing jobs, and rising crime. Crystal Wright, editor of the blog Conservative Black Chick, exposes how the Democratic Party has systematically betrayed black voters.
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Awesome!
- By Tracy on 05-11-16
By: Crystal Wright
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We Are Not Yet Equal
- Understanding Our Racial Divide
- By: Carol Anderson, Tonya Bolden
- Narrated by: Robin Miles
- Length: 6 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Carol Anderson's White Rage took the world by storm, landing on the New York Times best seller list and best book of the year lists from New York Times, Washington Post, Boston Globe, and Chicago Review of Books. It launched her as an in-demand commentator on contemporary race issues for national print and television media and garnered her an invitation to speak to the Democratic Congressional Caucus. This compelling young adult adaptation brings her ideas to a new audience.
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Great
- By JD on 07-06-20
By: Carol Anderson, and others
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The Reckoning
- Our Nation's Trauma and Finding a Way to Heal
- By: Mary L. Trump PhD
- Narrated by: Mary L. Trump PhD
- Length: 5 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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The Reckoning will examine America’s national trauma, rooted in our history but dramatically exacerbated by the impact of current events and the Trump administration’s corrupt and immoral policies. Our failure to acknowledge this trauma, let alone root it out, has allowed it to metastasize. Whether it manifests itself in rising levels of rage and hatred, or hopelessness and apathy, the stress of living in a country we no longer recognize has affected all of us. America is suffering from PTSD - a new leader alone cannot fix us.
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Focus of racism using her uncle as a mirror
- By Amazon Customer on 08-18-21
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The Hidden History of the Supreme Court and the Betrayal of America
- The Thom Hartmann Hidden History Series
- By: Thom Hartmann
- Narrated by: Sean Pratt
- Length: 4 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Taking his typically in-depth, historically informed view, Thom Hartmann asks: What if the Supreme Court didn't have the power to strike down laws? According to the Constitution, it doesn't. From the founding of the republic until 1803, the Supreme Court was the final court of appeals, as it was always meant to be. So where did the concept of judicial review start? As so much of modern American history, it began with the battle between the Federalists and Anti-Federalists, and with Marbury v. Madison.
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A must read to understand why voting is essential.
- By Brandon WIlliams on 10-05-19
By: Thom Hartmann
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White Rage
- The Unspoken Truth of Our Racial Divide
- By: Carol Anderson
- Narrated by: Pamela Gibson
- Length: 6 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
As Ferguson, Missouri, erupted in August 2014 and media commentators across the ideological spectrum referred to the angry response of African Americans as 'Black rage', historian Carol Anderson wrote a remarkable op-ed in the Washington Post showing that this was, instead, 'white rage at work. With so much attention on the flames,' she wrote, 'everyone had ignored the kindling.'
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Good History, Was Hoping For More Insight
- By Mike on 09-08-16
By: Carol Anderson
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Stupid Black Men
- How to Play the Race Card - and Lose
- By: Larry Elder
- Narrated by: Larry Elder
- Length: 9 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In Stupid Black Men, Larry Elder takes on the mind-set of those people who always capture the most media attention - as well as masses of public money - people who say that racism is the root of all problems and who end up hurting precisely those they claim to be helping.
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New fan
- By Levonne Burris on 07-15-19
By: Larry Elder
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Presumed Guilty
- How the Supreme Court Empowered the Police and Subverted Civil Rights
- By: Erwin Chemerinsky
- Narrated by: Perry Daniels
- Length: 11 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Presumed Guilty reveals how the Supreme Court allows the perpetuation of racist policing by presuming that suspects, especially people of color, are guilty.
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Required Reading
- By Robert Bragaw on 02-26-23
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America’s backstory is a whitewashed mythology implanted in our collective memory. It should come as no surprise that the dominant narrative of American history is blighted with errors and oversights—after all, history books were written by white men with their perspectives at the forefront. It could even be said that the devaluation and erasure of the Black experience is as American as apple pie. In Black AF History, Michael Harriot presents a more accurate version of American history.
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Ida B. Wells is an American icon of truth telling. Born to slaves, she was a pioneer of investigative journalism, a crusader against lynching, and a tireless advocate for suffrage, both for women and for African Americans. She cofounded the NAACP, started the Alpha Suffrage Club in Chicago, and was a leader in the early civil rights movement. This engaging memoir relates Wells’ private life as a mother as well as her public activities as a teacher, lecturer, and journalist in her fight for equality and justice.
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Important person, sing-song narration
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Plessy v. Ferguson, the Supreme Court case synonymous with "separate but equal", created remarkably little stir when the justices announced their near-unanimous decision on May 18, 1896. Yet it is one of the most compelling and dramatic stories of the 19th century, whose outcome embraced and protected segregation, and whose reverberations are still felt into the 21st. Separate spans a striking range of characters and landscapes, bound together by the defining issue of their time and ours - race and equality.
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the detailed accounting of White hatred and racism and how they used black "Grifters" to aided them maintain total control.
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For two centuries, the deep-seated fear that many White people feel—of losing power, of losing economic standing, of losing a particular “way of life”—has been the driving force behind American politics and culture. And as we approach a future where White people will become a racial minority in the US, something estimated to occur as early as 2043, that fear is only intensifying, festering, and becoming more visible. Are we destined for a violent clash? What can we do to step into our country’s inevitable future, without tearing ourselves apart in the process?
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an interesting and informative lesson
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Lies About Black People
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Honest and heartbreaking
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Important person, sing-song narration
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The most toxic racial arguments share one of five traits. They try to erase Black history, prioritize white victimhood, deny Black oppression, promote myths of Black inferiority, or rebrand racism as something else entirely. They’re all designed to distract society from racial justice, but now we have the tools to debunk them.
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How we see the world matters to how we tell storie
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the explanation of rise and fall Black Panther
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Good History, Was Hoping For More Insight
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Dune and Philosophy
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"He who controls the spice controls the universe." Frank Herbert's Dune saga is the epic story of Paul, son of Duke Leto Atreides, and heir to the massive fortune promised by the desert planet Arrakis and its vast reservoirs of a drug called "spice." To control the spice, Paul and his mother Jessica, a devotee of the pseudo-religious Bene Gesserit order, must find their place in the culture of the desert-dwelling Fremen of Arrakis. Paul must contend with both the devious rival House Harkonnen and the gargantuan desert sandworms—the source of the spice.
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Dune, brought to you by Libbity Bibbitty
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Semicolon
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A pause-resisting, existential romp through the life and times of the world’s most polarizing punctuation mark. Through her rollicking biography of the semicolon, Watson writes a guide to grammar that explains why we don’t need guides at all and refocuses our attention on the deepest, most primary value of language: true communication.
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Silly me; I thought it was about semicolons
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What listeners say about Allow Me to Retort
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- Johan N Beckles
- 03-08-22
Makes You Think Hard
Mr Mystal has a brilliant, factual stand on rewriting the US Constitution! A Must read
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6 people found this helpful
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- David
- 05-30-22
A lot of things I didn't know.
Informative and entertaining. Elie knows his stuff and he's hilarious. Highly recommend especially if uou value social justice.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Charles
- 07-30-22
Straight no chaser
It is obvious that the author knows the law and history. A great combination and pulls no punches. Very few books I’ve read has gone so deep into the real outcomes that have created the environment we’re in in 2022. Highly recommended if legal matters interest you.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Helen
- 11-20-23
A must listen
Everyone can benefit from hearing/reading this book. Such an important perspective on the justice system from a Black legal scholar. He takes on the status quo through the lens of history and white power. He narrates with great passion.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Annette Whary
- 03-10-22
Great Read
I love him.. I wish he would read his book on Tic Tok .
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- swyrlgirl
- 03-13-22
Nailed it!
I'm down for updating the Constitution to represent everyone and get rid of 2A which has had a disastrous effect on our society. Thanks Elie! #BidenElIeMystal4SCOTUS
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- Kitty Betham
- 05-18-22
The constitution on steroids!
I’ve also enjoyed anytime Elie Mystal appears on TV or radio shows or podcasts
This was the best of all of those
It was raw and brutally honest
I learned a lot
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- Tee Taylor
- 04-13-22
I’m your face
This is an in your face explanation, insight & hilarious outlook on the conservative systemic laws. Very informative.
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Overall
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- latoya pierre
- 03-30-22
Brilliant
Spotlights the issues with the Constitution, in its original content and purpose, as well as how it had been interpreted in modern times to obstruct Justice, Fairness and Equity.
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
- Colby
- 04-08-22
Classic
Should be required reading for all people especially those that have melanin in them
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