Sex at Dawn

How We Mate, Why We Stray, and What It Means for Modern Relationships

By: Christopher Ryan, Cacilda Jetha

Narrated by: Allyson Johnson, Jonathan Davis, Christopher Ryan (Preface)

Earphones Award Winner (AudioFile Magazine)

Since Darwin's day, we've been told that sexual monogamy comes naturally to our species. Mainstream science - as well as religious and cultural institutions - has maintained that men and women evolved in families in which a man's possessions and protection were exchanged for a woman's fertility and fidelity. But this narrative is collapsing. Fewer and fewer couples are getting married, and divorce rates keep climbing as adultery and flagging libido drag down even seemingly solid marriages.

How can reality be reconciled with the accepted narrative? It can't be, according to renegade thinkers Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jetha. While debunking almost everything we "know" about sex, they offer a bold alternative explanation in this provocative and brilliant book.

Ryan and Jetha's central contention is that human beings evolved in egalitarian groups that shared food, child care, and, often, sexual partners. Weaving together convergent, frequently overlooked evidence from anthropology, archaeology, primatology, anatomy, and psychosexuality, the authors show how far from human nature monogamy really is. Human beings everywhere and in every era have confronted the same familiar, intimate situations in surprisingly different ways. The authors expose the ancient roots of human sexuality while pointing toward a more optimistic future illuminated by our innate capacities for love, cooperation, and generosity.

BONUS AUDIO: Includes a Preface written and read by author Christopher Ryan.

©2010 Christopher Ryan, Cacilda Jetha (P)2010 Audible, Inc

Critic reviews

"A surprisingly non-titillating book about sex among prehistoric people makes for a terrific audio adaptation...With their straightforward approach, the narrators show professionalism and authority in this anthropological discussion of sex." ( AudioFile)

“ Sex at Dawn is the single most important book about human sexuality since Alfred Kinsey unleashed Sexual Behavior in the Human Male on the American public in 1948.” (Dan Savage)

"My favorite book of 2010...it's the only book I read this year that proved that I was badly mistaken about something." (Peter Sagal, host of NPR's Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!)

Good, not great

This book had some good things going for it, but I couldn't bring myself to give it 5 stars. This was a more polemical work than I would have liked. It was very much written in a style to convince the reader/listener of the author's ideas. I honestly got the feeling that they were only giving me the information that supported their thesis rather than a balanced look at facts, or giving honest alternate explanations/ideas. It also made use of "straw man" items where the authors would give an opposing opinion in its worst light and then rather than explain that idea went on to ridicule it.

PROS:
Lots of facts
Unconventional take on human prehistory
Good job of "thinking outside the box" and giving lots of facts/data to back up their ideas
Entertaining, not "dry"

CONS:
Some mentioned above.
Odd use of 2 narrators where 1 narrator read quotes to open each "section/chapter" and maybe a stray sentence here and there. It was really odd to periodically get a different voice for just a few seconds and then back to the usual reader
Too many tongue-in-cheek comments and adolescent humor.
Overly romanticized subsistence hunter-gatherer lifestyle.

Is it worth listening to/reading: Yes...I would recommend it.
Is it a work that contributes to understanding prehistory: Maybe
Is it entertaining? Yes

Important

May be the first truly important book on the subject of sex this century. Ground breaking. Read this book.

Don't overthink the sex.

This is perhaps one of the best books about sex, with actual empirical and scientific evidence, while philosophical and non fact based research are ignored when possible. Book points out number of fallacies in modern evolutionary psychology theories.

I do recommend to read it to everyone who is older than 14.

Something calming my mind

I expected some contraversial points to be discussed and authors did that well. I feel like i know myself and people a bit more

A great read, especially for the polyamorous.

I enjoyed this book immensely. It had a great sense of humor, and erased many of the preconceived notions about monogamy that I had been harboring for my entire life. It was a great read and would have gotten 5 stars if they were able to offer some conclusions about their findings.

Seemingly radical ideas, but strong evidence.

With as juicy a topic as sex, you would think that more science books would be attempting to get to the bottom of the origins of our unique sexual behaviors. Some of the ideas that are assumed true by folks like Robert Wright or Steven Pinker are given a more thorough examination here. One example is the idea that men's and women's sexual motives are evolved to be opposed to one another. Another theory is presented, and backed up well enough with research to at least make you reconsider. One argument that I found to be very strong was that men are not evolved to need to be positive about paternity and that sexual jealousy is not innately wired into Them. It sounds crazy at first, but the evidence is very strong. The book busts one myth after another, and shows rather convincingly in many chapters that a move toward monogamous partnerships hasn't been 100% good for us. Then it makes a strong case that monogamy is a relatively new norm. Despite the fact that we are so adamant that cheating is the worst thing ever, it's done with head spinning frequency. While not every argument made in the book will turn out to be perfect, the case the authors make is strong enough to demand more attention. And if nothing else, it's a sexy topic, so you get your money's worth on that alone.

Who knew prehistoric sex could be funny?!?!

What did you love best about Sex at Dawn?

I truly loved listening to this book. It was witty, insightful, and just a fun listen. I was afraid this was going to be sort of dry and boring (think Anthropology 101) but it wasn't...I was very pleasantly surprised!

What was one of the most memorable moments of Sex at Dawn?

There's a part in the book where the authors discuss the topic of this book with another anthropologist and the guy says "what are you going to do close your eyes and imagine". I thought that was great. They took a very realistic approach to the subject by saying, "hey we don't have all the answers..but here's what we got". Combined with the research and the tongue-in-cheeck humor. It made for a very likable and compelling read!

Interest and disturbing

The book was so well received that Sex at Dusk was written. I followed all their arguments. However, I'm not certain I am ready to divorce sex and love. Yes, it's been done, but my own experience is quite painful when that happens. Would like to know more about the cultures which practice much freer forms of sexuality. I was engrossed in this book and couldn't wait to get back to it. Definitely worth a listen.

Must read, period.

One of the most enlightening reads ever. Any (wo)man who has ever wondered where the human race got it so wrong with pair-bonded relationships will find this inspiring, presented in a palatable format. Willingness to get your cob-webbed beliefs thrown out is a prerequisite to make this a most enjoyable audiobook. Have given the printed book to many of my friends. Recommended.

Fantastic, funny, and evidence-based

I recommend this book to those curious about the science that offers clues to our nature as humans. As a relationship coach, this book is a fantastic resource for me in supporting couples who think they are failing (but really need perspective and skills to understand each other). The authors provide extensive evidence about the dynamics and social conditions that created our current opinion of sex, dating, and relating. They also offer plenty of data to make the case for how we really are and why this monogamy thing is so hard for so many.