Hurts So Good

The Science and Culture of Pain on Purpose

By: Leigh Cowart

Narrated by: Leigh Cowart

An exploration of why people all over the world love to engage in pain on purpose - from dominatrices, religious ascetics, and ultramarathoners to ballerinas, icy ocean bathers, and sideshow performers.

Masochism is sexy, human, reviled, worshipped, and can be delightfully bizarre. Deliberate and consensual pain has been with us for millennia, encompassing everyone from Black Plague flagellants to ballerinas dancing on broken bones to competitive eaters choking down hot peppers while they cry. Masochism is a part of us. It lives inside workaholics, tattoo enthusiasts, and all manner of garden variety pain-seekers.

At its core, masochism is about feeling bad, then better - a phenomenon that is long overdue for a heartfelt and hilarious investigation. And Leigh Cowart would know: They are not just a researcher and science writer - they’re an inveterate, high-sensation seeking masochist. And they have a few questions: Why do people engage in masochism? What are the benefits and the costs? And what does masochism have to say about the human experience?

By participating in many of these activities themselves, and through conversations with psychologists, fellow scientists, and people who seek pain for pleasure, Cowart unveils how our minds and bodies find meaning and relief in pain - a quirk in our programming that drives discipline and innovation even as it threatens to swallow us whole.

©2021 Leigh Cowart (P)2021 PublicAffairs

Critic reviews

“Cowart has endless compassion for humans trying to find meaning and purpose while trapped in our fallible meat sacks. Hurts So Good is funny, explicit, and oddly wholesome.” (Caitlin Doughty, author of the New York Times best seller Smoke Gets in Your Eyes)

“It’s testament to Leigh Cowart’s skill and charm that a book about pain should feel so joyful, that a deeply taboo subject should get such a bright and vivid airing, and that experiences that should induce winces instead trigger laughs and moments of deep profundity. Hurts So Good is a book of wonderful paradoxes - a rich, hilarious, and endlessly fascinating look at a world that most of us know but few of us understand.” (Ed Yong, Pulitzer Prize-winner and author of I Contain Multitudes)

“A thorough examination of a widely shared human experience. Cowart blends memoir with research and observation deftly, and boldly shares the gritty details of her own sensation-seeking body. Relevant to anyone seeking to understand their own relationship with physicality. A must-read for those of us who find ourselves trying to explain so many complex things about our relationships to pain.” (Stoya, writer and pornographer)

Educating, Exciting, and Enlightening

The author's storytelling is so entertaining and animated it is hard to stop listening! I got this book to learn a different aspect of pain science... Wow, what an honest and open perspective.

An amazing objective look at a social taboo

Hurts So Good teases as a book about sadomasochism and BDSM, but it's so much more! Leigh looks at many different ways that people use pain in ways that we don't think about every day. She opens up about her own struggle with pain in healthy and unhealthy ways and how it has driven he,r to very very bad and very good places in her life. In the corporate world there is a saying about being comfortable with discomfort. It's meant to talk about not being afraid to grow in different ways, and how that isn't easy. This book is all about being comfortable with some of the most extreme discomfort imangable.

Part autobiography and part textbook, this is a wonderful story that will speak to anyone who has dabbled with pain for pleasure with or without their clothes on.

I look forward to the next thing Leigh writes.

Do yourself a favor and read this book

An absolutely magnificent work of art. Illuminating, enlightening, inspiring, challenging. I laughed, I cried, I felt every word that Leigh presented.

Wonderful!

The narration is fantastic! It was wonderful to listen to. It’s also a fascinating story with perspectives that I would never have considered on my own. I’m familiar with BDSM, I have a friend who is deeply involved in that community. And I’ve dipped my toe in as a spectator a time or two. But it had never occurred to me to look at other activities as pain on purpose, it is a really good read. I highly recommend it.

Fascinating

I really enjoyed the multiple perspectives on types of masochistic behaviors. The science behind why people “feel bad to feel good” is fascinating.

exquisite 👌

This book got me back into reading. It got me thinking about so many new and glorious, sensual experiences that can be had on this earth. I believe this book can save lives. It'll keep you turning pages and re-reading again and again. I'm in love.

Life changing

I’ve never read anything that reached and affected so many parts of me. Every chapter made me feel seen, educated, entertained, and full of love for my fellow humans. Leigh has made something truly wonderful.

Good insight but frustrating narration

Love the author tackling a thorny subject such as masochism and decoupling it from the sexual fetish to share just how many of human pursuits are tied to pain for pleasure. However I would suggest listening to the book at 1.35x speed at the bare minimum to remove some the pauses and gaps in the narration that were clearly added for effect. I understand them but with each one a little bit of the joy of the writing is taken away.

Well-written and Balanced View of Masochism

The author does a great job as the narrator and the different lenses into masochism were each interesting and presented with little judgement so it never felt like, "Ew, that's really weird!" This is likely because the author herself is a masochist, but it still feels balanced, recognizing that pain on purpose can be a rough concept for some.

Understanding Pain on Purpose

The author, Leigh Cowart tells such engaging stories that are packed with contextual bites of information about humans who intentionally engage in pain on purpose. As an Ace person I was thrilled that so much of the book focused on the non-sexual experiences of pain on purpose and appreciative of the insight into pain for sexual pleasure. Will definitely recommend! I would love a sequel expanding to experiences outside western culture.